A Tale of Two Proms (Bard Academy)

by Lockwood, Cara

  And the fact was I hadn’t picked Heathcliff as much as I’d fallen into his gravitational field. He was a force that was impossible to resist.

  Feeling suddenly even more alone, I decided I needed to find Heathcliff right now.

  I looked everywhere. I went to his dorm and the cafeteria and the greenhouse at the edge of campus. I went back to our pond, but he wasn’t there, either. I even pushed my way through the bramble back to the cottage Heathcliff had restored for me. The cottage was empty, the door locked. I glanced in through the window but saw no one. I stood at the cottage door, remembering the moment Heathcliff had asked me to be his wife.

  I fingered the locket Heathcliff had returned to me and wondered what he was doing right now and who he was doing it with. I could suddenly see his face again when he spied Catherine on the commons and the desperate way he’d moved to try and reach her.

  I didn’t like where my mind was going, so I decided hanging out at Heathcliff’s cottage was just putting me in an even bleaker mood. I headed back to my dorm. The sun had now set and darkness was falling. I had already missed dinner and if I didn’t hurry, I’d miss curfew, too. That would mean detention, or more likely, sweeping or dusting or doing the dishes. The faculty was big on assigning menial jobs to rule breakers. I was one hundred percent sure cleaning out the dorm bathroom would not make me feel any better.

  I walked from the woods and I was nearly to the steps of my dorm, when I saw Heathcliff standing under the street lamp near the big tree nearby. The lamplight shone on his dark hair, which curled back from his ears and across his forehead. When I saw him, my heart ballooned with a mix of relief and warmth. This must be a sign. While I’d been out searching for him, he’d been right here all along, waiting for me.

  I didn’t say his name. I didn’t trust myself to speak. I was so glad to see him that I just threw my arms around his neck and pressed my cheek into his chest. It took him a split second to react. I guess he wasn’t used to me hugging him like this, out in public, where the Guardians or the faculty could see. He recovered from his surprise and then slowly wrapped an arm around me, his hand sliding down my lower back.

  “Well, hello to you, too,” he said, his voice gruff in my ear. “What can I do for you on this fine evening?”

  His voice sounded angst-free. He wasn’t about to tell me he had found Catherine and was running off to be with her. That much I knew. I felt instant relief. I pulled away from him and grinned.

  “Did you find her?” I asked him. We both had to know I meant Catherine.

  “I’ve found you, m’love,” Heathcliff said. “That’s all that matters now, isn’t it?”

  The “m’love” was new, but I decided to go with it. Heathcliff usually wasn’t into terms of endearment, but I was so glad to see him, I really didn’t care to question it. He could make up all the nicknames he wanted so long as he didn’t go AWOL again.

  I was so glad to find him here and I couldn’t help but think this was his way of telling me that I still mattered. That Catherine wasn’t his soul mate. Not really. She was a distraction, but he had eventually come back to me. Straight back to my door.

  “When you disappeared…” I said, but then I couldn’t finish. As much as I wanted to, I simply couldn’t voice my fears out loud.

  “Ah, but I’m here now, aren’t I?” He smiled at me. My heart decided to skip about a dozen beats.

  “How long have you been waiting here?”

  “Awhile,” he said. His voice sounded a little bit different, I realized. His accent seemed just a little bit… changed. Or maybe he was just coming down with a cold. “But seeing the beauty in your face makes the hours seem like minutes.”

  He grinned. I grinned back.

  Heathcliff seemed strangely free of his normally brooding mood. He was surprisingly light-hearted. This was new. His smile grew bigger.

  “Listen, I know you asked me… well, I’m not sure…” Now that I was face-to-face with him I wasn’t sure I was ready to give him an answer. The college acceptance letter and locket both weighed heavily in my pockets, and I realized that despite all that had gone down today, I hadn’t decided anything yet. I was still no closer to knowing what it was I wanted to do. But I did know one thing: I wanted to go to prom with him.

  Wasn’t that a good place to start? If we could survive prom, then maybe I’d consider the marriage thing.

  “I want to ask you something but… uh, I’m not sure how.” I swallowed, choking a little on my own question as my mouth went suddenly and completely dry. Wow, this was harder than I thought. I had no idea how Samir had managed to ask Blade to the prom while playing the guitar and singing in front of a classroom full of people. Just asking was nerve-wracking enough.

  “Ask away, m’love.”

  “Well… I mean, it might be a dumb question, because the faculty probably wouldn’t even let us go, but if they did. I mean, what I’m trying to say is if we got permission to go together…” I sighed. This was not working out well. “So will you…” I cleared my throat, and my hands suddenly felt cold and clammy. “Will you come with me to prom?”

  Heathcliff’s face broke out in a large grin. “What’s in it for me?” His voice was half-teasing. His eyes wandered back down my front. This was a question I wasn’t quite prepared for. “No need to answer, m’love,” he added quickly. “I’m sure the pleasure of your company will be payment enough.”

  It was a strange way to say yes. But I suppose a yes was a yes.

  “Shall we go now?” Heathcliff quirked an eyebrow, and part of me thought there was an innuendo I wasn’t quite getting.

  “Prom isn’t now,” I said, and I gave him a playful shove. “It’s in a couple of weeks.”

  “Weeks? That is too bad. I would like to go with you somewhere right now.” He smiled at me and the message in his eyes was impossible to miss. It was odd, and not Heathcliff’s style.

  “You’ll just have to wait for that,” I said. Then, I wrapped my hands around the lapel of his jacket and pulled him down so that his lip were near mine. And then I kissed him, not caring who saw.

  No alarm bells went off; no guardians came running; no dogs were let loose to break us up; so I guessed we were safe. Darkness was falling, and from a distance, our faces would be hard to see. No one came to throw me in detention, or imprison Heathcliff in the vault, so everything should’ve been fine.

  Except it wasn’t. Something was wrong.

  I didn’t quite know what it was, but as I kissed Heathcliff, his lips felt a little bit rougher than usual. Something was off. The taste of him or how he moved … it wasn’t the way I remembered. And then there were his hands. They were hard and insistent and they were roaming my body in a way that they never had before. Something about it was wrong. Something was… too dangerous. I always felt safe with Heathcliff. I always did. I always knew he would protect me, but something about him right now, about his hands, made me feel anything but safe.

  And then Heathcliff was yanking at the front of my shirt, pulling it so hard he broke a button straight off the top.

  “Wait…. no,” I said, backing away from his rough hands.

  “What’s wrong, love?” he asked me. “Isn’t this what you want?”

  “No,” I said, breathing hard. I glanced back over my shoulder and felt like I’d been seen by a hundred pairs of eyes blinking from behind windows in the dorm. And was I wrong – or did the faint smell of alcohol cling to Heathcliff’s clothes? Had he been drinking? I’d never known Heathcliff to drink. Not once. Not in all the time I’d known him. That’s when I noticed he was a little unsteady on his feet. He swayed a little.

  “Are you drunk?” I asked him, point blank.

  “This worthless man has a vice or two,” he conceded. There was a teasing tone in Heathcliff’s voice. A tone I didn’t recognize. And since when did Heathcliff call himself worthless? There were many things Heathcliff was guilty of, but low self-esteem wasn’t one of them. It was one of his most attractive an
d most infuriating qualities. Heathcliff was supremely confident. “I would understand completely if you find my company… distasteful,” he said.

  “No.…It’s just that I just need to get back to my room. You know – curfew.” Curfew was coming soon. Maybe ten minutes. Normally, I’d spend every last second with him, but for the first time – maybe ever – I wanted to put space between me and Heathcliff. I needed time to clear my head, time to think, time to figure out what had just happened. And why he felt so different.

  Heathcliff dropped his hands. “As you wish, m’love,” he said, and gave me a curt little bow. And the dark and dangerous look in his eyes and the half smirk of a smile on his face made me feel exposed, like he could see my confusion and my fear.

  And he liked it.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  On the way inside my room, I wondered if this was the first sign that Heathcliff was changing for the worse. Was this how the evil vengeful monster from his story came about? Did it all start here with snide remarks and alcohol and a too-rough kiss? Maybe he wasn’t the kind, gentle soul I thought he was. Maybe he was just fundamentally… bad.

  No.

  I knew Heathcliff. I knew there was gentleness in him. After all, everyone knew he had a horrible childhood filled with abuse and neglect. It was the main reason he became so ruthless as an adult. I can honestly say that before he met me, he hadn’t had much kindness in his life. And I really thought my feelings for him had made a difference.

  But something had been wrong with the Heathcliff standing in front of my dorm. It was like he was a different person. Like he was possessed. Maybe Catherine had taken over his body. Stranger things had happened at Bard.

  By the time I climbed the stairs, turned down the hall and walked into my room, I realized it was probably all in my head. I’d more than likely just imagined it. Maybe it was just me. I was just all worked up after seeing Catherine this morning. And then there was the growing stress of having the Big Decision weighing on me, too. It seemed like I kept jumping back and forth. One second, I felt like I’d be a fool not to marry Heathcliff. The next, I felt like I’d be a fool if I did.

  What I needed was some sleep. I sure hadn’t slept much last night after Heathcliff had proposed. Once inside my room, I went to the window and glanced out. He had gone. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. Heathcliff would often wait for me underneath my window. I’d wave goodnight and then he’d leave. He liked to make sure I was safely in my room before he went to his. Even last night he’d waited there for the wave. I guess tonight he’d finally gotten tired of waiting. Or he’d been too drunk to remember, I thought.

  That part worried me most of all as I shrugged out of my Bard uniform and into my pajamas. I wish I had a roommate to talk to about it.

  My room for senior year was a single, not a double. I’d finally earned the right to be roomie-free. Many of the seniors went solo. Blade had been my roommate sophomore year. She’d decorated the room according to Goth Digest, complete with a skull candle and Wiccan framed spells on the walls. As much as I loved Blade, living with her was always a bit trying. But now, just for tonight, I wished she were here. I needed someone to talk to. Someone to tell me I wasn’t going crazy.

  Blade’s room was down the hall from mine. Hana’s was on a different floor.

  I heard a bell tolling in the distance, marking curfew. It was time to get inside. If I sought either one of them out now, I’d risk getting them or me in trouble, and probably all of us. I doubted my friends would be so glad to give me relationship advice if we were all in detention. And given Headmaster B’s new attitude, I’d say that she’d relish giving me some really gruesome punishment. Toilet cleaning, probably.

  I sighed.

  “Everything okay, Miranda?” It was the voice of Miss A. She had appeared at my door but I hadn’t heard her approach. But then, she was a ghost. They tended to be stealthy.

  “Miss A!” I said, involuntarily putting my hand on my chest to prevent it from jumping straight out in fright. “You startled me.”

  “Sorry,” she said and looked contrite. “I’m just doing room checks.” She held up her clipboard in her hand to show she wasn’t trying to scare the life out of me. She really was just making the rounds as the new dorm mother.

  That job used to be Ms. W’s, my old teacher. But that was before she’d sacrificed herself to save us. Everyone told me that she was probably in a better place now – released from purgatory. But it still made me sad that she wasn’t here. She’d been one of the few faculty members – aside from Coach H – who was a true friend. I knew I shouldn’t mourn her. After all, her ghost had been trapped here for decades. Sacrificing herself meant she was released to go to the next world, or to heaven, or wherever it was she was supposed to go. She’d moved on and I was sure she was in a happier place. It’s what almost every faculty member at Bard dreamed of – being freed from this place. I shouldn’t wish her back here, but I really did miss her. She had always made time for me. She’d always listened. She would know what to do about Heathcliff. She would have helped me make the Big Decision, no doubt.

  “Miranda? You’re sure you’re all right?” Miss A was nice. I had nothing against her. I just didn’t share the history with her that I had with Miss W. I hadn’t even spoken to her before the start of this year. And the fact was I didn’t know where I stood with some of the faculty. Many treated me a little bit like a live grenade with the pin half out. They all knew that I had a special connection to this place. Plus, few of them liked the fact that I knew Bard Academy secrets – like their real names.

  I knew, for instance, that Miss A was actually Miss Austen – as in first name Jane. She’d kept a low profile my first two years at Bard. I hadn’t even realized she was here until she became the new school librarian. If she was worried that I knew her true identity, she didn’t let on. She only ever treated me with kindness. But I still kept my distance. I didn’t actually know why. Maybe it was because I was afraid to get close to another faculty member. Or maybe I didn’t trust them.

  I honestly didn’t know.

  I did like Miss A. On the whole, she joked and smiled more than the other teachers. She was far less doom and gloom. Right now, Miss A looked neatly put together, as usual. She wore her brown hair in a low ponytail and a simple pencil skirt and white collared shirt. “Are you sure you’re all right, dear?”

  “Yes, well, I…” I didn’t know what to say. I was missing Ms. W? That couldn’t have been something Miss. A wanted to hear. She stared at me with knowing brown eyes.

  “If you’d like to talk…” Miss A let her voice trail off. Her eyebrows knitted together in genuine concern. And for a split second, I thought about confiding in her. I thought about telling her about my Big Decision and about Catherine and my growing worry that something was wrong with Heathcliff. But how do you even start a conversation like that? Um, my fictitious boyfriend whom you know I am actually forbidden to date might be bipolar and may be falling in love with his ex-girlfriend after he just asked me to marry him?

  Riiiiight.

  “No, Miss. A. I’m fine I was just…”

  “Missing Virginia,” she said, meaning Ms. W. I must have looked shocked, and I was. It was like she read my mind. I wondered if she could actually do that. And if she could, what other secrets she found there. “Lucky guess,” Miss A said gently, when she saw the look of panic cross my face.

  I relaxed a little, but not completely. Ghosts could be capable of anything. I needed to remember that.

  “I know you two were close. I am sorry she is not here for you,” Miss A said.

  “But she’s got to be happier… where she is, right?”

  “Most likely.”

  We both fell silent for a moment, lost in our own thoughts.

  “Is there anything else I can help you with?” Miss. A almost sounded hopeful.

  I shook my head. “It’s okay, Miss. A. Thanks, though.”

  For a second, Miss A looked a li
ttle bit disappointed. “I’m here if you need a sympathetic ear.”

  “Thanks, Miss. A.” I gave her a smile. She wasn’t Ms. W, but she did honestly want to help. She seemed nice enough, but I just wasn’t ready to explain everything to someone new. It was hard enough when Ms. W knew my whole backstory. Maybe one day I’d feel like talking about it. Right now, the thought was exhausting. Miss A ducked out of my doorway but a second later, she was back in it.

  “By the way, Coach told me you wanted to go to the prom with Heathcliff.”

  I glanced up at her sharply. Coach H didn’t usually gossip. Why did he tell her?

  “If you’d like, I could see what I could do to help,” Miss A offered. “Maybe I could put in a good word with Charlotte.”

  She meant Headmaster B.

  “Oh, yeah… sure.” I thought again about when I asked Heathcliff to prom and the dangerous look that had crossed his face. Was I still sure I wanted to go with him? Only if he didn’t drink, I decided in that second. “Um… thanks, Miss. A.”

  “Sure.” She beamed at me. “All right then, dear, lights out.”

  I clicked the light switch and headed to bed. As Miss A left my door and continued her rounds, I wondered if I should’ve talked to her about my problems. All the girls on my floor were crazy about Miss A. Hana was a particular fan. She told me I ought to spend more time with Miss A, but frankly my heart just wasn’t in it. I just missed Ms W. too much.

  My window was open a little to let the breeze in. It was a cool spring night, like so many at Bard. The fog and wind on the island made even May cold, and it was only mid-April. I lay down on my bed, hoping to try to think things through, but I fell asleep before I could get very far. Sometimes I had weird dreams at Bard, but that night, I had a blank, restless sleep. I woke feeling tired and a little hopeless like I’d spent the night running away from faceless shadows in a nightmare I couldn’t quite remember. I pulled on my uniform and went to the cafeteria looking for a friendly face.