“Yeah, I guess I am a little tense. A lot weighs in the balance. I mean, it’s all I’ve heard for the last month. Now on top of that I have to wow the reps from the performing arts school.”
“And getting into that school, and possibly Julliard, is what you’ve been working towards for the last ten years.”
“No, Dad, it’s what you’ve been working for.” I couldn’t believe I was actually vocalizing my feelings to my father. And it seemed that once the water overran the dam it was pretty hard to stop it up again. “I don’t know what I really want. Sure, I love the piano, but get real. I am not going to be the best of the best. Even Colleen Deveroux is better than me and she’s only eleven. She’ll probably be a smash on Saturday, and I’ll just have to suffer through my last two years at Aubrey.”
Dad scrunched his large eyebrows together. “Andi, if you would just focus…”
Hearing the word, focus, was the last straw in my delicate mental state. I snapped. “Focus? I’m sick and tired of hearing how I need to focus.” I stood up and tossed my napkin on the table to make my point. “I’ve been focused on piano since I was six years old and what have I gotten in return? Sore fingers and a ridiculous social life. Correction, no social life.”
“Andrea,” said my mother with wonder in her voice. “Where is this coming from? You have a social life and lots of friends.”
“Sure and we’re a bunch of freaks—the lot of us.” OK, not Alisha, but I felt that would not help my argument. I couldn’t face them a moment longer as I took off for the stairs and the refuge of my bedroom. The further I made it up the staircase, the angrier I became especially when I realized I’d missed dessert.
I flipped on the TV, but not even reruns of my favorite shows could do it for me. Time for my favorite DVD as I reclined on my bed. It’s not like I could have concentrated on anything else. I needed some mindless diversion, and, seriously, Sleeping Beauty is one of the most romantic films ever with the prince who can dance. Thoughts of dancing and princes were much more preferred than realizing I had acted like a total child with my parents. Right now they were probably wondering what was going on with me.
I squeezed my eyes closed feeling convicted about how horrible I’d been. Lord, what am I doing? I don’t know what came over me just now. I guess maybe I’ve wanted to express those things to my parents, but I suppose I could have done it in a better way like in a note, or a song, perhaps even a mime routine. I’ve asked before, but I need to ask again. Help me, Lord! I seriously can’t do this on my own because when I do, look at the mess I create.
The movie credits began and the theme song started, which somehow relaxed me. From my bedside table, I took out a box of cookies and plopped one in my mouth. Sure, I know it’s kinda weird at my age to enjoy a cartoon as much as I did Sleeping Beauty. I mean, I could never tell Amy that this is my favorite movie or that an animated prince is the man of my dreams. Still, my heart does that pitter-pat thing the first time Sleeping Beauty sings and dances with the Prince. Way romantic!
Just as that particular scene ended, I heard a knock on my door. It was probably Mom trying to make peace between Dad and me. After pausing the movie, I sat up and brushed the cookie crumbs off my shirt before walking to the door and unlocking it.
It wasn’t Mom, though. It was Dad. “You missed dessert.” He handed me a plate with several of the delicious brownie bites on top.
“Thanks.” I took the plate and walked back inside my room. I set the goodies on my bedside table and flopped down on the bed.
“Watching a movie, I see.” He slipped his hands into his pockets as he followed me into the room. His gaze examined the décor around my abode before glancing back at me. “Listen, Andrea, I know you’ve been feeling pressure from me—maybe too much by the way you acted tonight. It’s only because I want the best for you.”
“I know, Dad.”
“You have a tremendous talent, and I don’t want you to waste it. Do you know how fortunate you’ll be if you get accepted to this school?”
“Yes, of course I do. I’ve heard it all before.” Boy, had I heard it and even remembered Bible verses on using one’s talents to God’s glory. “But Dad…” I sat up from my slumped position. “Would it be so bad if I didn’t get in?”
He brooded over the question for a few seconds with his lips pursed out in thought. “Andrea, remember God is in charge of your future. Remain faithful to Him and he will remain faithful to you. Now if you didn’t get in to the school, we’d work around it and see where the Lord leads. But think about when you do get in.”
I noticed he said when and not if. He sure was confident. “I am thinking about it. It’s just things are…different now compared to when we sent in my application. I was fourteen, then.”
“That’s true, but your goals haven’t changed, have they?”
“No, I guess not, but sometimes I just want a break.”
He nodded his head. “I can understand that. So, take a break.” He crossed his arms over his chest with a smile on his face. “You’re going to Bible study tonight. Forget about the piano, but tomorrow you need to get…” He was going to say focused, I know it. “…get, um, prepared for the recital.”
“OK,” I replied. “Amy did invite me over for a movie night with Alisha and Angie after Bible study.”
“Sounds like fun. You can even stay out a little longer tonight. Just make sure you’re home by ten-thirty.”
Dad left, and I felt so much better. I mean, anxiety still rested around my heart, but the pressure of holding what I’d been feeling inside had been released. And really, it hadn’t turned out too bad. I’d just relax tonight, practice some more tomorrow and Saturday, one way or the other, we would know about my future. Of course, if I didn’t get in, Dad would probably have me playing in front of scouts from the Music Conservatory of San Francisco next.
I dropped a brownie in my mouth and decided to open my laptop to check email. Occasionally, I did get something other than the college newsletters my dad had talked me into signing up for—like spam or an advertisement from the local music store. Perhaps Amy had sent me some words of encouragement. Not likely. That was more Alisha’s style. I’d even take one of Angie’s posts from her blog—Angie’s Escape.
I felt the breath sucked from my lungs at what I saw in my inbox. No, not a friendly note from my friends. Even better. An email from a Lucas M. Ryan. Lucas? Luke was actually a Lucas. I could never call him Lucas. For the first time all evening, I smiled until I remembered I had his message to read. Nervous flutters started in my stomach. After forcing my hand to move, I clicked on his name.
Andrea,
Hey, how are you? I ran into Dion Washington and Amy Appleby this afternoon. Amy said you had a lot going on but that I should email you. Hope you don’t mind. Anyway, I just want to say I hope I didn’t offend you or anything today. You left so quick I didn’t get a chance to say bye. Thanks for all the Geometry help. You’re a lifesaver. I still want to hear you play piano. Don’t forget.
See you in school,
Luke
All the songs which talk about how a guy or girl makes you feel paralyzed due to their overwhelming beauty suddenly made sense. That was me. Luke Ryan paralyzed me. So paralyzed, in fact, that it wasn’t until I’d read the email three times that I realized my double-crossing friend Amy had given my email address out to a boy. I’d deal with her later.
She never even mentioned that she’d talked to Luke after school when I spoke to her before dinner. Traitor. She liked the idea of me being ambushed instead, I supposed.
Swishing the mouse arrow icon over the reply button, I considered answering him back. What would I even say? At least I had the advantage of time to come up with an intelligent reply. The exact opposite of my performance this afternoon and the entire week.
Hi Luke,
Thanks for the message. That was thoughtful of you. I’m fine, just really busy. My head is not where it usually is. It’s been crazy with classes an
d piano and all that. Maybe if you’re really good, I’ll let you hear me play one day.
Take care,
Andrea
I read through the message a total of eight times while making little alterations here and there before finally biting the bullet and pushing the send button. It was breezy, and I did not make any obvious faux pas. At least, I didn’t think so.
Setting the computer to the side, I started the movie again and snuggled down into my comforter. About fifteen minutes later, my cell phone pinged with an email. I glanced at the screen and saw that I’d received a friend request in my favorite social networking site from a Luke Ryan (CA_Koufax32).
I clicked pause on the movie and gulped down the lump in my throat. Well, what do you know? He found me online. I accepted the invite and a couple minutes later, a private message popped up on the screen from a Luke Ryan (CA_Koufax32): Hi Andrea.
I did a thumb exercise in the air over the cell phone keyboard similar to the way I usually do before playing a piece of music on the piano, and then allowed the pads of my thumbs to make contact with the keys. Hi back…Lucas
Hey now! he replied.
Lucas M. Ryan, I teased him.
Don’t even ask about the M. I’m not telling. My mom set up the account.
That explains it.
Thanks for the return email. I thought you might be mad or something.
No, everything’s fine.
Cool! Then a second message came right after it. How’s practice going? Ready for the big recital?
My reflection smiled back at me from the cell phone screen. I’ve experienced firsthand the cruelty and self-centeredness of those in the popular crowd. Luke, however, must have broken that mold. Here he was trying to make sure I was OK because he cared. And now, he’d asked about my recital. It amazed me he even remembered.
I texted back. Yeah, I think so.
WRUD?
He wanted to know what I was doing? He wanted to continue this conversation? Who was this Luke Ryan? Talking to you. ;), I typed.
Ha! Very funny. Srsly though.
Watching movie. And you?
Baseball game. Playoffs
Cool
What movie?
I paused and contemplated what to write next. Can’t tell you.
Y Not?
U will laugh
I luv to laugh J CMON PLZ. Then a second later. But I won’t laugh at you, Andrea.
He wrote out my name, and it was like he’d spoken it out loud. An odd warming sensation flashed up my neck. I did feel like I could trust him. More than even Amy. Could I really? Promise?
Cross my heart
Sleeping Beauty
With the prince who can dance, right?
Yes. I sat there stunned for a minute. Was this guy for real? He knew about the dancing prince in Sleeping Beauty? Should I be worried? I mean, how many testosterone-filled, baseball-playing jocks knew about that? Although, who really cared? My heart sort of warbled inside my chest. Luke Ryan was making it very hard to close my heart to him, and I had to. He was great to talk to, to laugh with, but I just couldn’t let it become more than that. And yet it would be rude to break off the conversation.
How do you know about that? I asked.
I have cousins. Hannah’s 7 & Madison’s 5. They live in Charlotte.
It’s nice you have family around.
Yeah, my aunt (mom’s sister) and uncle r great
Curious and wishing to start another line in our conversation, I asked him, So, what does the rest of your screen name mean?
The CA 4 my home state
Of course
Sandy Koufax is my baseball idol. He wore #32. Retired his number in ‘72 w/ Dodgers.
Ah, a CA team.
You a fan?
HA! But I suppose I could learn to like it. I sent the message and then wondered if I was flirting with him. Did I know how to flirt now?
Luke’s response: And I’m just the guy 2 teach U. ;)
10
Luke and I messaged back and forth a couple more minutes, and then I told him I had to get going. He said he planned to meet up with Dion and Mike in a minute, anyway. According to him, they’d probably drive around for a while and end up at Dion’s to play some video games.
I changed clothes, updated my make-up, and then the parents and I headed to church. In the youth building, Amy met me with her barely feigned happiness as though she held back a secret. We sat on the couch with Angie and Alisha and talked of everything but Luke…thank goodness.
The usual suspects turned up for Bible study, and an hour later we had laughed, sang some praises tunes and studied the book of Joshua. Tonight we went over Joshua 1:9: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
Our youth leader, Mr. Jace, brought up some points on being courageous for God in our daily lives, like standing up for what’s right at school and all that.
It made me think about what a coward I am on a daily basis especially when I think about all the Christians who have died for Christ. I’d made some strides forward today, but it seemed so trivial when compared to other more important issues going on all around me.
“So, who’s taken up the personal Bible study time Challenge?” asked Mr. Jace. His humorous brown eyes examined the room and several hands rose in answer to his question. He nodded and smiled as each hand rose.
Haltingly, I raised my hand, too.
“OK, and out of those of you working on the challenge this week, has anyone felt the Lord working in your life or on your heart in a special way?”
A couple more hands went up and Abby Creech shared a personal anecdote.
I wasn’t quite ready to share my story. Honestly, I had to admit that so far, it had been a horrendous week.
“Keep in mind, guys, sometimes God is trying to teach us something or help us grow. And growth, at times, can be painful. Having the Lord work in our lives isn’t always bubblegum and butterflies.”
A few kids laughed.
“It can be uncomfortable and awkward. But it opens our eyes to areas where we need to change and mature. It might even help us be a better friend to those around us as we focus less on self and more on others.”
Wow, conviction! Was God trying to teach me something? Had I been selfish? Yeah, I guess I have been. I focus on self way too much. With how bad this week had been, I couldn’t wait for Monday.
I rode home with my parents and at 8:15 headed out for movie night. It had already grown dark as I started walking down the street to Amy’s. While passing Mike’s house next door, I wondered if Luke had stopped by here or if Mike had met him and Dion somewhere else. My heart fluttered at the thought of seeing Luke again. I shook my head. These were exactly the kind of thoughts I just had to exorcize from my head. Chatting with him had not made that task any easier.
A few minutes later, I knocked on the Appleby door. Amy’s mom answered it and smiled when she saw me. “Hey, Andrea, darlin’. Come on in.” Amy’s mom was so cool. She dressed trendy and listened to hip music. She always knew the best places to order take-out—the ones with the cutest delivery guys, of course. Yes, she was divorced and looking for Mr. Right, but she wasn’t man crazy or anything. Actually, she’d become really picky, according to Amy, since she’d gone through the wringer with her Dad. “I think you’re the last one to arrive.” She motioned to the basement stairs.
Not many homes around here had basements. Amy’s was one of the few.
“Thanks, Gloria.” She insisted I call her Gloria as she hated her married name, but had never legally changed it back to her maiden name. I guess she wanted it to match Amy.
I headed down the stairs to Amy’s inner sanctum. It was like a totally cool place to hang out. It included Amy’s desk, her books, her DVDs, a flat screen TV and a couple couches and tables. Seriously, if the popular kids knew about her hangout, they would be pestering Amy to come over.
/> I was chuckling inwardly at the idea of Stephanie and Julie hanging out with us in Amy’s basement, which is probably why I forgot to skip the fourth step from the bottom—the one that creaked and often shifted forward.
C-r-e-a-k!
My gigantic feet slid down the last three steps. I was about to fly right into the closet door at the bottom of the stairs, but instead of smacking head first into the wood, someone caught me.
I recognized that clean scent, those brown eyes. Instinctively, I pulled my hands out of his. “Luke, what are you…” I glanced around the room.
All eyes were on me.
And it wasn’t just Amy, Angie, and Alisha down here.
Along with surprise guest Luke, there was also Dion, Mike, Angie’s brother, Seth, and my least favorite person, Josh.
“Hey, what’s up?” It was Luke who’d asked the question.
“What’s up is me, obviously. And if it hadn’t been for you, I’d be down. Really down.” My heart still raced from my near collision. Make that total collision—with Luke.
He laughed with that wonderful sparkle in his eyes. I’d made him laugh again. It was sort of fun to see him laugh because of something I’d said or done.
Amy rushed me the next second and pushed me into a corner of the room. “Don’t be mad,” she said in a hushed tone.
I crossed my arms. “Mad? And what could I possibly be mad about? The fact that just this afternoon you promised no more matchmaking.”
“I know, but I was talking with Dion before Bible study. I thought it would be rude not to invite him tonight. He already had plans with Mike and Luke so I said the more the merrier.”
“And you neglected to inform me of this because…”
She shrugged. “Because I knew you wouldn’t come.”
Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. “OK, and let me guess, because you were bringing male friends, Angie and Alisha did the same. I feel left out without a male escort.”
Andrea and the 5-Day Challenge Page 9
