Love under the Lights (Whole Lotta Love)

by Sahara Kelly

“Ryan’s never been better.”

  “That was the best cum shot I’ve seen in years.”

  “She does one helluva job faking it…”

  “No need for any more takes on that one. It’s in the can.”

  Toni smiled a tiny private smile. She was content, her body humming with remembered pleasure—and nobody but Ryan any the wiser to the fact that she hadn’t faked a damn thing.

  Then she noticed a pair of brown eyes staring at her. It was Paul, partly hidden in the shadows behind the camera.

  He wasn’t saying anything, just gazing at her intently as a bead of sweat rolled from his forehead to his chin, catching the light and sparkling as it fell. He shifted awkwardly on his chair, never looking away from her face.

  She blinked as a sudden certainty swept through her like a bolt of lightning.

  Paul knew she’d come.

  For real.

  ~~~~~

  Several hours later, as the sun was dipping low into the ocean, Paul found himself strolling along the beach beside Toni.

  When they’d wrapped the last scene, she’d vanished, gone before Paul had the cameras secured. He hadn’t missed that look, that soft glow on her face that screamed “I’m done”.

  He’d homed in on it, connected with it, almost been part of it. Shit, he wanted to be a part of it. He wanted to be the one putting that half-smile on her face. In private. Somewhere there were no cameras or lights or anybody else for miles around.

  And then he wanted to do it again.

  He’d struggled with this whole thing during the evening, not knowing what he ate, barely listening to Suze and Nick as they squabbled with each other over dinner and avoiding everything but his thoughts.

  Toni had finally appeared when dessert was done. She shook her head when Fran offered her food, saying she’d eaten something before she’d gone upstairs for a nap.

  Whether she had or not, Paul didn’t know. But he could take a pretty good guess that she hadn’t napped. The strain was showing around her eyes. He was probably the only one who noticed, since he was trained for that stuff, but still…it was there. And he wanted to stroke the little line away from between her eyebrows.

  He’d gone to her, reached for her arm and led her firmly away from the arguments brewing around the dining table. “We’re going for a walk. Don’t kill each other while we’re gone.”

  His comment had been lost, but Paul didn’t care. He just wanted to get away from it all for a little while—with Toni.

  She’d changed into cut-off jeans, not short ones like so many women wore, but comfortable-looking ragged ones that stopped just above her knees. With her simple sweatshirt above it, she looked like any California girl—a beautiful one, of course—just enjoying the beach and the sunset.

  He grabbed her hand and tugged on it. “Talk to me.”

  His words broke the silence that had fallen between them as they’d left the house and walked down the short path onto the sand. Her sandals dangled from her other hand and she dug her toes into the soft whiteness beneath her feet with a grin.

  “About what?” Her gaze flicked up to his face, then away again.

  “I dunno. Anything.” He looked around. “Dogs.”

  “Dogs?”

  “Yeah. You like dogs?”

  “Sure.” She sounded puzzled.

  “Good. Because I think one’s coming over to say hello.”

  With an eager trot, a dog was indeed coming over to greet them, whuffling and doing doggy type things that meant he was happy to see them.

  “Awww. Hi, boy. Aren’t you a cutie?” Toni cautiously held out her hand and let him sniff it.

  Apparently, the critter had good taste, since he promptly licked Toni’s fingers, then bumped them with his nose.

  “Want a scratch, huh?” Toni obliged with a laugh, ruffling his ears and making a friend for life.

  Paul watched her. She was so natural, not a thought for her nails or her makeup or anything other than petting her new best buddy.

  Lucky dog.

  Finally, the animal decided he was content and took off for the edge of the water and a stray seabird, which had dared to intrude on his territory. They strolled away from the barking.

  “Cute pup.” Toni brushed her hands on her jeans.

  “Uh, yeah.” Since beneath his shaggy coat, the “pup” was probably a hundred pounds and then some, he supposed the word “cute” was a girl thing. He had to agree, though. It was a nice dog. “So you like dogs. Did you have one growing up?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  Paul took her hand once more. “Hey. You were going to talk to me. Remember?”

  She sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound abrupt. No, I didn’t have a dog.” She shrugged. “I didn’t have a father either. I had a mom, but she…”

  Paul waited, their fingers intertwined now, a comfortable grasp he found himself very much enjoying.

  “She wasn’t what you’d call a candidate for mother of the year. Ever.” Toni stared out at the darkening sky. “Probably why I’m so scared of all this.”

  Paul thought about that. “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s a common enough story, Paul. Young single mom, no man around, little money…followed by too much liquor and a parade of men introduced to me as uncles. If they were, my mom had a bigger family than she ever told me about.” She sighed. “I hated that part of it. I found books were more use to me than being nice to my uncles.”

  “Did they—did you—“ Paul wasn’t sure how to ask the logical question.

  “No.” She smiled at him. “I’ll give Mom that, at least. She kept them away from me. Besides, with my coloring—well, it’s obvious I’m a mutt.” Toni chuckled without rancor. “I’ve never looked at myself as anything other than who I am. I forget sometimes that people only see my skin. Not the rest of me.”

  She stopped then, pulling Paul to a standstill. “You know, you’re the first person I’ve told that to.” Toni stared at him. “You really are amazingly easy to talk to, aren’t you?”

  Paul cast a brief thought back over his most recent relationships. “Thank you. And you’re the first woman to tell me that, if you want the truth.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep.” He urged her onward toward the rocks that broke the shoreline a little way ahead. “Maybe I just don’t care to listen to what most of ‘em have to say.”

  “Or maybe they’re just too busy lusting after your body?” Toni giggled.

  “There’s that too.” Paul smiled back.

  “Oh look.” Toni pointed to the rocks. “Something’s sparkling over there. Let’s go see.”

  They walked to the rocks together, carefully picking their way around the smaller pebbles so that Toni wouldn’t hurt her feet. “Coooool.” She stared at a tidal pool that looked as if it was glowing slightly. “I saw a TV show on that stuff once. Bioluminescence.”

  “Yeah. Sure, that’s what I though too.” Paul nodded sagely. “Whatever.”

  “No, really. It’s a bunch of plankton type thingies. Can’t remember the name of ‘em, but they glow if the water gets disturbed. There’s a place in—I think maybe Puerto Rico—where there’s tons of them. The water glows if you swim in it at night.”

  “Someone must have a lot of free time.”

  “Honest. No kidding on that. I put visiting Puerto Rico on the top of my dream list after I saw that show.” She sat down on one of the rocks that had been dried and warmed by the sun and watched the light slowly fade.

  “What else was on your dream list?” Paul picked a spot behind her, swung himself down and pulled her back to rest against him between his legs.

  She curled into his body quite naturally. “Oh all the usual things. Travel, kids, a family…a home of my own. The ability to grow decent fingernails. You know. Kid stuff.”

  “I guess becoming a porn star wasn’t up there?”

  “Shit, no.” Toni choked out a laugh. “Not even close.”

  �
��And yet here you are.”

  She was quiet for a minute or two. “Yes. Here I am.”

  “Toni? This afternoon…your scene with Ryan…want to talk about it?”

  A big sigh lifted her shoulders and she leaned back comfortably into Paul’s chest, resting one hand on his knee like she was in an armchair. “Not much to say.”

  And there it was. The instant when Paul realized exactly how different Toni was to any other woman he’d met in years.

  She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to ask him what he thought, if her face had looked all right, if she’d done this or that right for the camera. She didn’t ask for reassurance or compliments on her body or her technique. She didn’t do any of the things Paul discovered he’d come to expect. She really had nothing to say.

  And oddly enough, at that moment Paul found himself wanting her more fiercely than any woman, ever.

  His arms crept around her. “You came, didn’t you?”

  She lowered her head, not turning, not looking at him. “Was it that obvious?”

  “Probably not.”

  “I couldn’t help it.” She mumbled the words. “I told Ryan not to hold back. I was too…nervous, too tense, too strung out, I suppose. After the morning…”

  “I know. I understand.”

  With a sigh, Toni leaned to one side and rested her head on Paul’s arm. “Yeah. Of all the people here, I think you probably do.” She moved slightly. “What’s scary is that it really didn’t mean anything. It was physical, pure and simple physical release. Like…” She stumbled for words. “Like a good sneeze that’s been hanging around for a while, you know?”

  Paul couldn’t help laughing. “I get the point, but that’s a pretty crazy way of explaining it. There she blows…”

  Toni laughed too. “Yeah, well I couldn’t come up with anything better off the top of my head.” She shivered.

  “Come on. You’re getting cold and I reckon a good night’s sleep will help a lot.” Paul stood and held out his hand.

  Toni took it, and then paused. “Thanks, Paul.”

  “For what?”

  “For this.” She nodded at the twilight beach. “For bringing me out here. Listening to me yak. For understanding.” Toni moved closer and leaned to him, kissing him on the cheek. “For being my friend.”

  His arms slipped around her like it was the most natural thing in the world. “I’m afraid I want to be more than your friend. You know that, don’t you?”

  She swallowed. “Yes. I know.” She tipped her head to one side and studied him through the growing darkness. “And for the record, I think it’s kind of an interesting idea.”

  Paul nodded. “We’ll see.” He smiled as she stifled a yawn. “But not tonight. I’ve got a headache.”

  “Okay.” He paused. “Don’t let me forget to give you a box of tissues for our next time together.”

  Toni blinked at him.

  “In case you sneeze.”

  She laughed, and this time, she took his hand, an easy move that sent tingles down to Paul’s cock. He could have had her, right here on the beach, with the waves lapping at their toes and the darkness covering their naked bodies. He knew it all the way to his bones.

  But for once, he was going to wait, to let the heat between them build some more. It was all happening so quickly, in a place where sex was—well, to use Toni’s words, little more than a good sneeze.

  He didn’t just want to fuck her. Well, he did, but not just a simple fuck—he wanted sex with Toni to be more than that for both of them. And he knew, deep down all the way to his balls, that it would be.

  In an easy and relaxed silence, they walked back along the beach and into the house.

  Chapter Seven

  Toni wasn’t the only one who slept late the next morning, although she was probably the most surprised. It wasn’t like her to crash and not move until the sun was high in the sky, but that’s exactly what she’d done.

  She stumbled into the shower, hoping to shampoo some sense of order back into her brains along with her body. She was foggy from sleep and wondered if she was supposed to be doing anything more than pulling herself together.

  Her last scene would be filmed this evening, so she finished her ritual and shrugged, figuring if anybody had wanted her, they’d have woken her before now.

  Slipping into her shorts and a tank top, she grabbed her sandals and noted the growling of her stomach. There had to be something to eat somewhere downstairs. Fran was too good an organizer not to have a muffin lurking around with Toni’s name on it.

  Sure enough, there was food in the kitchen, along with—thank you, Fran—coffee. Snagging a plate and a few delectable pastries, Toni filled a mug and decided to take her breakfast outside.

  She wasn’t the only one who’d succumbed to the lure of a crystal clear California morning. Tiffany sat comfortably in the shade of one of the big patio umbrellas, her feet up on a padded chaise, a bottle of water beside her and—to Toni’s surprise—large glasses perched on her nose. She was apparently doing a crossword puzzle.

  Toni hesitated. There was the whole etiquette thing to consider. How, exactly, did one say good morning to a woman whose husband one had fucked enthusiastically the day before?

  Where was Miss Manners when you needed her?

  Tiffany turned and saw her. “Hey. Come on over and join me.” She put the paper aside and took off her glasses. “I’d love someone to talk to for a while.”

  “You sure I’m not disturbing you?” Toni walked to the table and rested the plate on it, holding her coffee in her hand.

  “Shit no. I’m bored, if you want the truth.” She frowned. “Sorry. I’m trying to watch my language.”

  Toni blinked. “You are?”

  “Yeah. The baby might hear.”

  “Oh.” Toni pulled out a chair and sat down. “Guess moms-to-be have to worry about that sort of thing.”

  Tiffany giggled. “Don’t know about other ones, but I sure do.” She rested a hand on the curve of her belly. “This little one’s gonna have enough to deal with. So we’re trying to keep it clean, you know?”

  “Sure.” Toni sipped her coffee. “How you feeling?”

  “Good. I think this rest is what I needed.” Tiffany stared morosely at her feet. “Of course, I’ve kinda given up on my ankles. Guess I won’t get those back until after I give birth.” She sighed. “Not easy.”

  “I believe you.”

  “Especially seeing you all sleek and gorgeous.” Tiffany smiled at Toni.

  “Oh hel—“ Toni caught herself. “Oh good grief.”

  “No, seriously, Toni. You’re really really stunning. Haven’t you seen yourself in the dailies?” Tiffany blinked.

  “Uh, no.”

  As a matter of fact it hadn’t occurred to Toni to see herself on the replay of the day’s filming. She knew what she looked like naked and didn’t really have the urge to see herself having sex. That was just on the other side of kinky pervert stuff.

  Tiffany leaned back. “You’re really not the usual kind of actress on these things, are you?”

  “There’s a usual type?” Toni picked up one of the pastries and took a moment to appreciate the artistic dollop of chocolate cream on top of it.

  Tiffany sighed deeply. “Yes. And if you share that, I’ll tell you about it.” Her gaze fixed on Toni’s hand.

  “Um…”

  “I shouldn’t. Not good for me or the tadpole. But I swear, if I don’t get a mouthful of that I will kill.” She grinned. “Unless you’ve got some avocado on you. Got me a fierce craving for that too, now and again.”

  With a sympathetic smile, Toni broke the pastry in half and shared it. She just hoped she wasn’t contributing to any nasty medical complications in a mother-to-be.

  “Mmmm.” Tiffany surrendered to the bliss.

  Incredibly, her nipples hardened at the tips of a very ample set of breasts. Whether it was hormones or a really good plastic surgeon, Toni had no idea, since t
hey were draped in a loose cotton maternity top. All she knew was that apparently a chocolate covered, cream-filled pastry was having a very sexually arousing effect on Tiffany Spalding.

  Toni took a bite. It was good, but not that good.

  “Damn. This is better than sex.” Tiffany licked at the cream and savored every flaky crumb.

  “If you say so.” Toni wasn’t sure how to answer that one.

  “Okay, I’m kidding. But it’s close.” She sighed. “And you’ve had Ryan. So you know what a compliment I’m paying to the pastry here.”

  Toni gulped, coughed and grabbed for her coffee.

  Tiffany laughed out loud, then looked anxious and clutched her belly. “God, if you could see your face. And I shouldn’t laugh. It makes me pee.”

  “Sorry.” Toni wasn’t quite sure where to look, but she knew she was blushing. “You caught me by surprise there.”

  “It’s okay. Really.”

  Toni wrinkled her nose. “I don’t get it, Tiff. How can it be okay? You’re sitting here next to a woman who f—sorry—who got intimate with your husband yesterday. Doesn’t it feel weird?”

  The other woman smiled. “It used to. Back when Ryan and I were first married. But we knew that our marriage was the real thing.” She shifted a little on the chaise. “It’s only sex, Toni. That’s all. Something we’re both good at and something that we make a lot of money from. It’s bought us a nice house and a good start for the tadpole. With luck there’s gonna be a college fund waiting too…” She tapped a finger on her belly.

  “Yeah, but still…” Toni paused. She couldn’t get her head around the idea that one’s husband fucked other women on a regular basis.

  “Look.” Tiffany gazed calmly at her. “Sex is a physical activity. Like…like…a martial art or something. You do it and then it’s over. Ryan’s very good at it. It’s his job, his career. It was mine too until recently. But…” She tipped her head toward Toni and stared at her intently. “It’s only a job.”

  “Okay.” Toni knew she probably sounded doubtful.

  “What matters is that at the end of each day, we go home—together. We make a life—together. A marriage is a helluva lot more than ripping up the sheets with night after night of hot sex. It’s being there when one of us has the ‘flu. It’s being there when the other one catches it as well. It’s grocery shopping. It’s cooking dinner or eating out. It’s talking and listening and doing laundry and paying bills.”