by Lucia Ashta
“And fast,” Nando added, showing Mordecai his rarely used look of impatience. Nando wasn’t going to give the old wizard a minute more than two hours, just as he’d promised.
Mordecai tugged at his beard a few times—a nervous gesture, I realized—and started pacing across the center of the loose circle the gathering of all the Magical Arts Academy’s creatures, staff, and students had formed.
“All right. I can do this,” he muttered, to himself I thought. I realized he missed Albacus. He’d mentioned more than once how he was used to solving complex problems with his brother’s help. Apparently, they’d bounce ideas off each other until they landed on the working one.
And I really did want to help find Albacus. I liked him and Mordecai. I’d help them if I could. But I knew myself well enough to realize that the fact that I wasn’t completely freaking out that I was dead was odd. I mean, I was dead. There’d be a time when that reality would come crashing down on me, and I’d have no choice but to face it. And then what would happen...?
They’d better hurry before I found out.
Mordecai stopped suddenly, and faced Marcelo. “I don’t even know how to explain this!” The old man’s eyes were wild; Marcelo’s were compassionate.
“You’ll find the way. You always do. There are few wizards more brilliant than you. We’ll find Albacus. Don’t worry about him; just focus on teaching the girl so she can do what she needs to. You’re the best one to explain this.”
Mordecai stared at Marcelo for a few prolonged seconds, nodded with resolve, and pinned his focus on random spots, in turn, since he couldn’t see me. “All right, child.” He breathed in and out deeply. “What I mean when I say that you need to detach from your body is that your spirit is maintaining a connection to your physical body. That I know with certainty, because if you weren’t, your spirit would have moved on already. I suspect it’s because you didn’t die of natural causes, but the reasons for it aren’t important at the moment.”
He hurried on. “What I need you to do is focus until you find that link between your spirit and your body. Once you do, completely pull the end that’s connecting you to your body.”
“Wait,” Nando interrupted. “I don’t like the sound of that at all. Isn’t the connection between her and her spirit the way for her to return to her body?”
“Yes, it is, that’s why she’s not going to let go of the end of the connection.” Mordecai behaved as if he’d been just about to tell me that, but Nando looked at him suspiciously.
So did I. I didn’t like the sound of this. If the connection between my spirit and my body was the only thing keeping me from truly dying, then I didn’t want to mess with that, not one bit.
Mordecai had the runes, didn’t he? He loved his runes, used them for guidance all the time. He hadn’t achieved success in finding Albacus through them yet, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. He apparently had unwavering faith in divination.
Nando spoke for me. “Mordecai, I realize how important it is that we find Albacus. But you have the runes—”
“The runes haven’t pinpointed his location.”
“Thus far, they haven’t. The risk is too great. We need to focus on getting her back to her body.”
“But—”
“I’m sorry, Mordecai, but it has to be this way. It’s too dangerous.”
“You said we had two hours.”
“That was before I realized you intended to disconnect her from the one thing linking her to her body.”
Mordecai didn’t say anything, nor did anyone else.
“You can’t ask me to risk the sister that can still come back to life to find a brother, whom we’ll find eventually. A brother who’s already dead, and has all the time in the world.”
Mordecai’s shoulders slumped in resignation. Obviously, Nando was right, and he knew it.
“All right. I understand. It’s just that if she holds on to the end of that link to her body, she’d still be able to return. As long as she doesn’t let go of that line, she’ll be able to reattach it.” I didn’t think Mordecai was even trying to convince Nando anymore. The poor man was lost without his brother, and the idea of missing out on a chance to find him was crushing him.
“You’re sure about that?” Nando asked, and Mordecai whipped his face upward, alight with an infusion of sudden hope.
“I’m quite sure.”
But how could he be? He was talking about matters of the spirit. None of them had ever been spirits.
Ah... but Albacus was one, and the brothers were as close as any siblings I’d ever known. Maybe Albacus had told him.
Mordecai saw his window and pushed. “All she has to do is find the connection which holds her to her body. Let’s picture it as a rope. She has to disconnect the end of the rope that links her spirit to her body, hold on to the rope, never letting it go, and allowing her spirit to connect to the spirit world, which is everywhere around us.”
“So... she wouldn’t be going anywhere? Just staying right here, by her body, and me, while holding this ‘rope’ and connecting to other spirits out there?”
“Yes. She’d stay right here. And as soon as she finds Albacus’ spirit, she can latch the end of the rope back onto her body and come back.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.” Mordecai was starting to sound excited.
I didn’t fail to notice the wary expressions of those magicians who looked on. Neither did Nando, apparently. He looked around the circle. “You’re sure it’s safe?”
“Nothing is certain in life or death, son. But I wouldn’t ask this of her, or you, if I didn’t wholeheartedly believe she could come back from this.”
Nando bit his lip and looked to Marie and then Walt. Certainly they were the least experienced in magic there, but they were also the most like us. Nando seemed to be silently asking them what they thought.
Marie shrugged her shoulders before saying, “I know nothing about these things. I’ve never even heard talk of dealings with the spirit world.”
Walt just pursed his lips. He wasn’t any happier about the situation than Nando was. He shook his head from side to side. “I don’t know.”
So Nando scanned the circle of magicians and creatures. “Does anyone else have experience in dealing with the spirit world?”
Marcelo spoke. “You know, Nando, Mordecai is a brilliant wizard. He’s been studying magic his entire life, and he’s lived a very long time.”
Nando just stared, not entirely convinced, then nodded. “What about you, Sir Lancelot? You seem to know something about everything and lived a long while too. Have you ever had dealings with the spirit world?”
The pygmy owl looked unusually somber perched atop Brave’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Lord Hernando, but I haven’t dealt with the spirit world personally. So long as I’m cursed to my painting, I can’t even die. Well, I guess I can, but I can’t die of natural causes. Certain types of magic would probably do it, but nothing ordinary. Of course, it’s been argued that I’m not ordinary, so there’s that.”
The owl seemed to notice he was beginning to ramble, something he often did, but rarely reflected on. “I’ve seen others interact with the spirit world, but always from the outside, since the spirit world can’t be seen unless you’re connecting with it directly. But none of those experiences inform me as to how to help you make your decision.
“And then there’s Albacus, of course. I’ve interacted with him plenty since he’s been in spirit form. But his situation is different as he’s no longer connected to his body.”
“That’s a good point,” Nando said. “Why doesn’t Albacus leave this world if he’s no longer connected to his body? Where is his body?”
Mordecai’s spine stiffened. “My brother is buried at our home in Irele, and he stays around here because he’s a powerful enough wizard to be able to choose when his spirit moves on. But he’ll never be able to return to his body. Not now.”
Not now? Did that i
mply that Mordecai could have brought him back to life before and didn’t?
“The magic necessary to return someone to life claims a heavy price, one I wasn’t willing to pay for Albacus. Mostly because he wouldn’t have wanted that for himself. He wouldn’t have been the same person, and there would have been the chance he would have been infected with darkness after that.”
Ah. Now I understood. There were some things worse than death.
“Is there a risk of that happening to Isa?” Nando asked. “Will she be the same once she returns?”
Mordecai nodded, but I found no comfort in the clinking of the beads in his beard this time. “She should be.”
“Should?”
“As I said, there are no guarantees in life or death. The reality is that your sister is already dead. There’s a window for her to return, somewhat naturally, to her body. That is a marvelous gift. Take it and be grateful.”
Nando hesitated while he gazed at my body, and I knew what he must be thinking. He was worried that once I came back I wouldn’t be the same.
Suddenly I was worried about that too. I hadn’t even considered it before, and doing so now was terrifying.
Marcelo stepped forward and clamped a hand on Nando’s shoulder. “Mordecai wouldn’t suggest you bring Isa back if there was a significant chance that she’d be infected with darkness. None of us want that. Not for her, not for anyone. There are no certainties, but there are probabilities. Chances are high that we can restore Isa to her body, and that she won’t suffer any significant consequences from her temporary death.”
Poor Nando. He was conflicted! He wanted to do the right thing, and he didn’t know what that was. He wanted me back, but not at any cost. Mostly, he just wanted me back though.
“All you need to decide,” Marcelo continued, “is whether we can spare the time to have her look for Albacus. It’s overwhelming, I know. Break it down to one decision at a time. Will you give Mordecai the two hours you’d said? Less than two hours now.”
My strong, amazing brother looked weak and frazzled. “I don’t know. I really don’t.” He rubbed both hands across his face in despair, something he rarely did.
Arianne stepped forward, Gustave at her side. “Might I suggest allowing her to make the final decision, darling? It is her life, after all, non?”
Every single person and creature there, including Nando, turned to search for me. Only Elwin found me.
He stared at me with that tranquil expression on his face, the one that suggested that nothing was as serious as it seemed, and waited for my decision.
I didn’t think I knew what I wanted to do... but then I realized I did.
I was already dead. If I could help, I wanted to. I’d never really done anything special before arriving at the academy.
Here I was part of a team. For better or worse, teammates took risks for each other.
As long as the risk was manageable, I’d do it.
And I’d hold onto the end of that proverbial rope as if my life depended on it. Because in this instance, it did. It most definitely did.
I wasn’t planning on dying more than once today.
Chapter 2
I’d committed to finding Albacus—or really, to give it my best shot, which was all I could do considering that what Mordecai was trying to instruct me on was magic so advanced and esoteric that none of the other staff members of the academy had experienced it.
There’s nothing like diving right in when your life is on the line. Literally, a thought that terrified me.
“Feel for the connection,” Mordecai was saying. “Still yourself completely. Block all of us out and just feel, really feel for the link between you and your body, and you’ll find it.”
I nodded, though no one but Elwin would notice.
“I’m going to tell you right now what to do once you find it, because we’re all going to be fully silent for you while you do this.”
Another pointless nod, an ingrained habit that didn’t take into account my current state of lifelessness.
“Once you find the lifeline, pull it free extremely gently. Do not, under any circumstances, tug on it, or it could break. Find it and urge it free. If it doesn’t seem inclined to detach, finagle it, wiggle it until it does. And then, do not let go of the line. Even though it might not make sense to you that letting go of the end will make any difference, trust me, it will. There’s something about letting go of the end that takes the physical act and translates it to the choice of your will... or something.”
Or something? He was talking about my life here. Or somethings weren’t in the least bit encouraging.
“Even though the line will then only be attached to your spirit, and nothing else, so long as you hold the end in your hands and don’t release it, you’ll be able to reengage it. If you release it, your spirit will float away, and even if you grab on to the end of the line again, it won’t make any difference. The act will have been done. You are appreciating the gravity of the situation, I hope?”
Is he kidding me right now? As if I had any choice beyond appreciating the gravity of my situation....
“Tell him to just get on with it,” I told Elwin. “I want to do it and be done with it. I understand the risks all too well.”
Once Mordecai spotted Elwin leaning toward Arianne, he stopped to wait.
“She says to get on with it already,” Arianne said.
Mordecai nodded somberly, the beads of his beard clinking a sad tinkle. “All right then.”
Again, nothing about the wizard’s actions was particularly encouraging. The risks were as high as they came, but then, so supposedly was the reward. My choices had the chance to spare all of humanity from the SMS’ misguided actions, which would enslave humans without magic to its whims.
I have to do this, I told myself, because there was still the chance to turn back, and every few seconds, I considered whether the smart thing would be to do precisely that.
“Once you’re holding the end of your lifeline,” Mordecai continued. “allow your consciousness to roam free of your body. Let—”
“Elwin, please ask him to explain that. I don’t know what it means to allow my ‘consciousness to roam free’.”
I missed whatever Mordecai continued on to say while I spoke with Elwin. But it couldn’t be helped. He was instructing me to do things I had no idea about!
The old wizard was watching Elwin for cues, and the moment the firedrake began to move, he stopped.
Everyone waited for my message. It was a tedious process, no doubt about it. But I wouldn’t complain. I was incredibly fortunate that Elwin and I had forged a connection in such a way that he could see and hear me.
Sure, I’d been unlucky to die. But I very easily could have been left here, all alone, a spirit invisible to everyone, with no possibility of re-entering my body. In this situation, knowledge was absolutely power. Without Elwin, I would have been powerless, and in a few hours, irreversibly dead.
Arianne spoke, and everyone listened. “She needs you to explain what you mean by ‘allowing her consciousness to roam free’.”
Mordecai didn’t waste a second I could be using to locate his brother. “What I mean by that is that you’ll need to let your mind wander away from this location. By referring to your consciousness I really only mean that you should let your focus, your attention, leave the space your body occupies and just... float away.”
“Just float away,” I mumbled with heavy sarcasm. Is this guy kidding me?
“All the while, holding on to the end of your lifeline.”
“Right.” I wasn’t likely to forget that part.
“And then, once your awareness is... out there, just look for Albacus.”
All the pauses Mordecai was taking as he spoke made it clear he wasn’t entirely certain about what he was talking about, and there was a significant amount of guesswork going on. I supposed it couldn’t be helped, given that he’d never actually been dead himself. But still, nothing about the
situation was serving to settle my jumpy nerves, the ones I wasn’t even sure I had anymore, but I experienced all the same.
“It won’t be as difficult as you might think right now. From what I understand, spirits are everywhere, just beyond our sight. Until they leave the earth plane, they roam. I imagine it will be quite easy to find a spirit.”
“Sure, quite easy.” I didn’t even bother to restrain my sarcasm. What he was saying, along with the situation, was getting more and more ridiculous by the word.
“Albacus won’t be right here, if not he would have returned, so you’ll have to actively look for him. The good news is that he’ll want to be found, so if he feels you, he’ll do his best to reach out to you.”
The other academy magicians, usually quite vocal in offering their opinions in nearly every situation, were silent. It looked as if no one beyond Mordecai would be able to help me, and from the looks of him, Nando had realized it too. His expression ranged from desperate to somber to desperate again.
Poor Nando. He’d need to recover from this ordeal as much as I would.
“I wish I could offer you more in the way of certainty,” Mordecai said. “Sadly, I don’t have it.”
I addressed Elwin. “Please ask him what I should do once I find Albacus. Will I be able to bring him back with me?”
Elwin bent over Arianne until she relayed, “What shall Isa do once she finds Albacus? Will she be able to bring him back?”
Mordecai shook his head; the beads that capped braids in his long hair clanked. “I doubt it. Albacus would have returned on his own if it had been that simple. That he hasn’t come back indicates that his return is somehow being prevented. He must be trapped. If my brother hasn’t been able to escape, then it’s unlikely that Isa will have the skills to release him.”
You can say that again. I was so out of my element it would have been funny if I hadn’t been, you know, dead.
“Isa, if you can locate where he is, that alone will be a great help. I’ll come for him, and I’ll get him out of whatever prison he’s in.” Mordecai’s voice was fierce.
