“Typical.” I nodded with mock sincerity.
“Totally,” she agreed.
We beamed at each other.
“This is a mess.”
“Totally,” I agreed.
“What are you going to do about it?”
I shrugged and the heaviness of my guilt and desire broke the filter I had kept so far over my thoughts.
“Come on, Elle, you love him. Don’t tell me you’re okay with the status quo?”
“Of course not. But what would you have me do? Ruin my sister’s life?”
Candy waved her hand dismissively. “That’s a bit dramatic. She’d be heart broken, sure, but she would get over it. Anyone can see those two aren’t soul mates.”
“Soul mates? Honestly, Candy, who can say such a thing even exists?”
“You can!”
I slumped back in my chair even though I shouldn’t have been shocked by her words. Was Sinclair my soul mate? I had never really thought about the term or what it could mean. I only knew how I felt about the enigmatic Frenchman I had met in Mexico and the gravitational pull between us. I craved him in a way that was more elemental than addiction but still dangerous, more respectful than reverential but still sacred. I wanted to be with him more than I wanted nearly anything else in the world even though I hardly knew him.
The question fell so easily into my lap that I was surprised I hadn’t seen it all along. It really came down to this; did I want him more than I wanted my sisters happiness? Did I want him enough to live with the guilt? And, I guess most importantly, did he love me enough to take those on too?
“Richard said it in Mexico and I’ll say it again; I’ve never seen Sinclair lighter or happier than I have when he was with you. I didn’t know you before, so I can’t track the same changes but I know that you love him and the girl I came to admire the hell out of in Mexico would not let something so precious go so easily.”
“She’s my sister,” I said, for what felt like the billionth time.
“Excuses.”
“A good one,” I amended but I wasn’t sure she was so wrong.
“You don’t seem to be behaving yourself, Candace.”
I looked up and over my shoulder to see Sinclair. He wore a deep navy, nearly black suit that fit his lean body perfectly and emphasized the crazy blue of his eyes. I was still getting used to his new haircut but the lock of mahogany hair that fell over his forehead made him almost shockingly gorgeous.
“Do I ever?” Candy asked, baring her prominent teeth in a full smile.
I was happy she had abandoned her effort to keep them hidden and I wondered what had prompted the change. I made a note to ask her later, feeling a little guilty that I had dominated our conversation.
“Touché.” His lips twitched with humor but when he shifted to look down at me, his eyes blazed with stark hunger. “Giselle, accompany me outside for some air.”
It was that question that wasn’t a question; the dominance I had come to crave from him. My body was primed and ready, and he hadn’t even touched me yet.
I nodded, not trusting my voice, and took his hand to help me up from the chair. A subtle glance confirmed that Elena was still busy, near the bar now and surrounded by a large group of lovely, wealthy people. She was laughing and carefree as she bantered with likeminded elites and I realized how much she fit into this scene, how much she loved it.
We didn’t speak as he ushered me outside but the light touch of his hand on my lower back radiated like a beacon across my skin. The cool air felt amazing against my overheated skin and I was immediately seduced by the murmur of traffic and the pulsing thrum of city life.
“New York is louder than Paris, crowded and coarser but I absolutely adore it.” I shook my head and leaned over the balustrade to peer at the darkened garden bellow. “I didn’t expect to love it like this.”
“For all its glamour and beauty, there is a certain artlessness to the city that is its most appealing quality.”
I beamed over my shoulder at him. “Exactly.”
“You are happy here, then?”
I turned back to the shadowed gardens to hide my frown. It was a harder question then it should have been and the reason for that stood just behind me, exuding a cool sexuality that sent tingles over my skin.
“I am. Despite the occasional awkwardness of being reunited with my sisters and brother after years apart, it’s good to feel at home again.”
He stepped up to the stone railing beside me and braced his arms against it. His knuckles were white even in the darkness. I could feel his tension as if it were my own, the line he had hooked through my heart pulled taut by the strain.
“I’m jeopardizing that.”
“A bit.”
He smiled slightly at my honesty. “I never knew before you, how selfish a person could truly be.”
“Because you want both Elena and me?” I ripped the question off my heart quickly, like a Band-Aid but the pain still radiated through me and made my jaw ache.
He was silent for a lot longer than I was comfortable with but I tried to remain patient and still. This was hardly the place or time for such a conversation but I wasn’t willing to end it, not after weeks of wondering.
“It’s more complicated than that,” he said finally.
“How?”
His jaw tensed, the muscle skipping in his cheek.
“How?” I pressed.
“I have,” he hesitated, “a responsibility to Elena. I owe her happiness.”
My throat was being stitched closed inch by inch. “You can’t stay with someone because you feel beholden to them.”
“You can,” he argued firmly, turning to face me with eyes like chips of dry ice. “In fact, I would argue that most relationships are based on exactly that.”
“Those relationships fail,” I whispered.
I felt like an egg leaning too far over the balustrade, waiting with bone chilling apprehension for the right breeze to tumble me over the edge.
“What are you saying, Elle?” His hands were suddenly on my arms, grasping them so firmly that I gasped. “You said yourself, you were not willing to sacrifice your sister’s happiness and now this? What the fuck do you want from me? Because when you ask me these infernal questions and when you look at me with those grey eyes what do you expect me to do? I am no saint and I won’t pretend for one second longer that I’m anything close to a gentleman.”
His lips crashed onto mine and the feel of them went off like a bomb through my body. He tugged my shaking form closer until we were flush against each other, pressed so tightly I could feel him everywhere. His tongue swept between my teeth and took exactly want he wanted; my pleasure, my surrender.
I gasped into his mouth when his hands slid down my curves and grabbed my bum to lift me onto the ledge. As soon as I was settled, he stepped close, pushing my dress up and spreading my legs open to make room for him against my center. I tipped my head back to moan, my eyes absorbed by the sight of the moon as Sinclair’s lips found the sensitive skin under my ear.
“You want this,” he rasped, pressing even closer so that I could feel his erection against my heat. “Why can’t you admit that you want this?”
My head was dizzy with sensation but the conscious part of me hated his question. Why couldn’t I admit I wanted this? More, that I needed it. I bit back a sob at the idea of never having him like this again and tightened my hands in his hair.
His hand lowered, finding my heeled foot and running his fingers gently around my anklebone before moving up, cool and fluid as rainwater, to my inner thigh. I panted when he pulled away to look into my eyes, his fingertips lazily swirling across the heated skin just beside my sex.
“Admit you want this.”
I moaned because I could still see the people inside, splashes of rich color behind the slightly molted glass doors.
Elena was in there.
“Even with all those people steps away, with your sister just inside, you want thi
s, Elle.”
I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his neck to lick at his delicious salty skin. But he wouldn’t let me escape into the fantasy. Instead, he pulled me back and grasped my chin firmly between his thumb and forefinger.
“Tell me.”
“Yes,” I breathed.
“Yes to what?” Sinclair’s eyes sparkled in the starlight and I knew he was enjoying this. “You know how much I like it when you use your words.”
“Yes,” I said, louder this time. “I want you. I need this.”
I watched my words ignite him, the way goose bumps raced across his skin like a lit fuse towards his fiery gaze.
“Elle,” he groaned, before simultaneously claiming my mouth and plunging two fingers deep inside me.
He caught my moan between his teeth and echoed it with one of his own. Combined with the roar of my blood rushing through my veins it took me a moment to realize that someone was clearing their throat behind Sinclair. I thought quickly, pulling him to me instead of pushing him away, placing my hands over his hair as I tucked his face into the side of my neck. That way, someone might not notice whom it was that I was kissing. Sinclair tensed but allowed me to hide him.
I sighed heavily when I saw Cage standing there, his hands in the pockets of his all black ensemble.
“You scared me.”
“I can’t imagine why, cherie, when you chose such an excellent place for a clandestine rendez-vous.”
I frowned at him as Sinclair extricated himself from my embrace and smoothed down my long skirt before turning to Cage.
“You’re late.”
Cage laughed but it was a hollow sound. “That is the least of our transgressions.”
Sinclair’s lips thinned and he stepped forward, barring me partially from Cage’s cold look. “Are you judging me, rock star?”
“Are you implying I don’t have a right to, gypsy?”
I blinked as the acidity of the atmosphere stung my eyes. I could understand why Cage would be disappointed in us for falling into each others arms yet again, but he had been there in Mexico and more than that, he had encouraged me to pursue Sinclair again even knowing that Elena was my sister. Why the hell was he being so antagonistic?
“Cage,” I began but he held up a hand.
“No, Giselle, I think I will tell you some things, hmm?” He tugged at the end of his braid and sighed roughly. “I care for you two and I do not care much for your woman or your sister, Elena. But I just came from talking with her about a baby, a baby that she hopes to have with you, Sin. She was smiling, you see, in a way that I did not think she was capable of. The idea of family made her smile like that. And you are both her family.”
He shrugged with the tired wisdom of someone eternal. “I want you to be together. I’m, as you say, Team Giselle. But you both need to take your heads out of your asses and figure this out before you all get fucked.”
I don’t know when I started to cry but by the time he was finished, I couldn’t see through the tears and a thin trail of snot was becomingly seeping from my nose. It wasn’t because of Cage’s cruelty. It was because he had no choice but to speak so harshly; the truth of our clandestine relationship was cruel.
“Jesus, Cage,” Sinclair said.
His rage was palpable but instead of ripping into his friend, he stepped back to me and took my face in his hands so that I was forced to look up at him. He pulled out a kerchief from the inside pocket of his blazer and tenderly wiped my tear-streaked face. Cage was watching us, people inside were waiting for us, but Sinclair wouldn’t leave, I realized with growing warmth, without making sure I was okay.
“I’ll take you home.”
“No.” He flinched at my rejection so I placed a soothing hand against his on my cheek. “No, you need to go inside to Elena. Cage is,” I sniffed grossly but he didn’t recoil, “right. This isn’t fair to anyone. We agreed to be friends and it needs to stay that way.”
Sinclair closed his eyes and breathed deeply before touching his forehead to mine and admitting in a soft, quiet voice that mended my heart as quickly as it was broken, “I can’t leave it like this. I thought I could but,” his sigh feathered against my lips, “I need more time with you. Give me more time with you.”
It wasn’t quite a question but it didn’t matter. I pressed my lips to his nose and whispered, “Okay.”
His full smile took my breath away and I laughed when his lips crashed inelegantly against mine. Pushing a lock of hair gently behind my ear, he bent his knees so that our eyes were level and when he spoke, his voice was pure smoke.
“Tuesday night, my siren. That’s when I’ll have you.”
“You look flushed.”
I was startled out of my day dreaming by Sebastian, who had joined me at the bar where I waited for a glass of wine.
“Hmm?”
“I said you look flushed.”
His eyes were sharp and I straightened up self-consciously. It was dangerous to have ones head in the clouds around one of the twins; they saw things most people shouldn’t.
“It’s warm in here.”
“But you were just outside,” he countered, too casually. “With Cage?”
“Yes, the poor guy can’t keep his hands off me,” I giggled nervously.
He didn’t buy it.
“Interesting, he can’t seem to keep his hands off of that one too.” He tilted his head to indicate Cage, who was kissing a beautifully clad woman’s neck on the dance floor.
“My heart,” I joked, clutching at it dramatically.
Sebastian bit down on his smirk, which made me realize how serious he was about seeing this line of questioning through to the end. I didn’t know if it was because I was still high on Sinclair’s kisses or if it was because I was so tired of lying and feeling guilty but either way, I crossed my arms and gave Sebastian my best no-nonsense glare.
“Seems like another poor guy can’t keep his eyes off you.”
Ah. I knew without following his gaze behind me, who he was referring to. I had felt his eyes on me as soon as he and Cage had followed me inside after a short private conversation. I wore that gaze with pride as an invisible mantle across my shoulders, infusing me with a cheeky confidence and power.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Seb,” I demurred. “But I may have been distracted by Savannah Richardson’s multiple attempts to catch your eye.”
We stared at each other for a long moment and I wondered if this is what yet another of my familial relationships would be reduced to – acridity and defensiveness.
But Sebastian mocked me for my pessimism by dissolving into full-throated laughter. Still chuckling, he leaned forward to swing his arms around me and tug me closer.
“Ti amo, bambina.”
“I love you too,” I said as I pressed my smile into the soft fabric of his blazer.
A slight cough alerted us to the arrival of Elena who stood with her fingers clutched tightly before her gorgeous Grecian inspired velvet gown. Despite her dark coloring and slumberous sexy eyes, Elena conducted herself like an ice queen. I wondered idly if she had ever seen Frozen.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” I waved away her question and nodded at the older man behind her. “Who is this?”
Elena’s eyes narrowed even though her lips automatically formed a genteel smile as she stepped backward to introduce him. “Mr. Paulson, please let me introduce my siblings, Sebastian and Giselle.”
Mr. Paulson wore a light metallic silver suit that perfectly matched his coiffed helmet of hair and stern expression. Despite his austerity, there were deep brackets around his broad mouth that indicated he smiled often and his pocket square was orange, which meant that he couldn’t take himself too seriously.
“Wonderful to meet you.” He clasped my hand in both of his and even though I understood he wanted the gesture to be warm, welcoming, the feel of his eyes cataloging every inch of me negated the effect.
“Mr. Paulson i
s the CEO of Dogwood International Hotels,” Elena explained with a significant eyebrow raise, trying to convey the importance of this fact. “Daniel and I invited him tonight to meet the family. Unfortunately, my youngest sister Cosima is away in Miami at the moment on a photo shoot but she sends her regrets.”
“Ah, Cosima.” Mr. Paulson had a surprisingly soft voice, his words carefully spoken. “She is a delightful young woman. I thought for certain she would be married by now.”
I frowned and opened my mouth to question his odd comment but Elena shot me a glare before I could.
She laughed lightly and placed a gentle hand on his arm. “She receives proposals by the dozens but my younger sister believes in the sanctity of marriage and doesn’t take entering into it lightly.”
While they smiled at each other, I nudged Sebastian in the ribs and he shrugged, rolling his eyes.
“You and Sinclair have been engaged for ages now, when are you love birds going to tie the knot?” Mr. Paulson asked Elena, but his eyes veered towards me.
It was a smart move. It took me at least three seconds to rearrange my shocked features into some semblance of normalcy. Engaged?
Sebastian’s hand pressed between my shoulders comfortingly and I watched him jerk his head slightly from side to side.
Aware of Mr. Paulson’s eyes, I swallowed my relieved sigh.
“We are happy as we are,” Elena was saying but she fiddled with the long string of pink pearls at her neck nervously. “In fact, I’ve never been happier. My entire family is living in the same city for the first time in years.”
Seamus wasn’t here, but he had long ago ceased to exist for us so I guess our father’s absence didn’t really matter. Still, Elena’s increasing insincerity made me uncomfortable, and my fidgeting brought Mr. Paulson’s attention to me.
“Family is the most important thing in a person’s life, I’ve come to realize. My wife is the most important person in my life. Are you married, young woman?”
I bristled slightly at his condescension but hid it behind a flashy smile. “I am not.”
“And you?”
Sebastian laughed. “Happily, single.”
Mr. Paulson’s disapproving frown was nowhere near the magnitude of Elena’s glare. A sharp prickle of foreboding lanced my spine.
The Secret (The Evolution Of Sin Book 2) Page 13
