“Can I turn on the small lamp?” He had to see her face to make sure she was alright.
“Okay.”
He flicked on the light, sat on the love seat, and adjusted her so he held her across his lap. She was so small in his arms. “Tell me.”
“I never cry.”
One side of his mouth kicked up. “I know.”
“I never cry unless I’m around you. You’ve seen me cry more than any person in my whole life. Why do you think that is, Jack?”
“I don’t know, Lou.” He wiped the tears from one cheek with his thumb. “What’s wrong, darlin’?”
“It’s just…” she hiccupped. “I have a shitty family.”
Finally. “Yeah, you do.”
“I think I’ve always known it, but I’ve always made excuses for them. I can’t do that anymore. You’re right, Jack, about all of it. About my mom, Gigi, and my dad. It was neglectful and abusive. What do I do with all of that?”
It broke his heart to see this fierce, capable woman doubt herself. “What do you want to do with it?”
She wiped her face and climbed off his lap. “I’m not taking it anymore.”
“Damn straight.”
“I’m not taking responsibility for my mother’s actions ever again.”
He sat back and stretched his arms across the back of the sofa. “Anything else?”
“I will never let my father manipulate me.”
“Yes!”
She stopped pacing and stared at him for several long seconds. “You knew I’d get here, didn’t you?”
He shrugged. “You’re a brilliant woman, Luanne. I knew you’d figure it out somehow. What brought about these huge revelations?”
“Your family. There’s so much love going on here. It’s not perfect or pretty, but it’s the real deal.” She crawled onto the sofa, sitting sideways with her legs crossed. “You’re so lucky.”
Lucky? Was she watching the same shit show he was? His whole life had become a joke, exactly like it had been all those years ago, when he wore hand-me-down clothes and was on the free-lunch plan in school. He wasn’t lucky, he was laughable. The whole damn situation was laughable.
Anxiety pricked his skin like vultures pecking at road kill. A sensation, so foreign and yet so familiar, pressed in on him. Fear and paranoia had been his sadistic sidekicks growing up, and sometimes they’d bring along their old buddy panic to the party. It was unfortunate that they chose now to stage a reunion.
He was prepared to handle her issues, wanted to be her hero, but he hadn’t counted on her turning the tables on him and his screwed-up family. He plastered on his most charming grin. “If you say so.”
Guilt punched him in the gut when he saw confusion on her tearstained face. “I do say so. They’re wonderful. Surely you can see that.”
“Yeah, they are great.” Sugar coated the words, but sweat gathered in his palms. His heart vibrated in his chest, and the air in his lungs turned to concrete. Damn it. It was coming. He knew the signs all too well. With all of his strength he wrapped himself in the last ounce of charisma he possessed. “Listen, if you’re alright, then I need to go take care of something downstairs.”
She held her hand out to him. “Jack…stay.”
Her whispered words shot a hole all the way through him. He wanted to take the comfort she offered, but his pride wouldn’t let him. He hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “I really should…”
She drew her knees to her chest, closing herself off to him. Her disappointment about killed him, but he couldn’t stay. Jack Avery didn’t do public breakdowns.
He coolly strolled from the room, closing the door behind him. One stumbling step after another got him to the bathroom, where he concentrated on even breathing and calming his revved-up heart. All he wanted to do was retreat into the counterfeit affability that had seen him through his life.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t sure he could ever get to that place again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jack relaxed at Mimi’s kitchen table and watched Luanne shovel a bite of French toast into her mouth. He loved watching her eat. Was that weird? If it was he didn’t care. He pretty much loved everything about her. In fact…he loved her. He was in love with Luanne.
Well, damn it.
Just what this situation needed, love. Talk about terrible timing. He waited for the panic, but it didn’t come. He probably knew he loved her last night, but was too scared and freaked out to admit it. Still, this was the worst possible time for this to happen. His life was unraveling at the seams, and now he was in love.
Awesome.
After he fled the room last night, he hid in the bathroom for a while then went for a long drive, hoping to get some clarity. It hadn’t worked. He was split in two and unable to merge the pieces together. The only real conclusion he’d come to was that he needed to apologize to Luanne.
For her part, Luanne had been pleasant and cordial to him and he hated every minute of it. And now he was in love with her, he really hated it. Her unhappiness with him was a living thing, but she pretended she wasn’t upset. He didn’t want her to hide from him. Yes, that was hypocritical, but he’d deal with that later. For right now he wanted to knock down her barriers.
He slid his arm around the back of her chair. “You sure have pretty eyes, Luanne.”
She eyed him suspiciously. “Thank you.” The words were wrapped around a mouthful of French toast, so it sounded like Hank ewww.
He winked at her the way he knew she hated.
“What are you up to, Jack?”
“Not a thing. Can’t I tell a pretty girl she has nice eyes?” He dabbed at her milk mustache with his napkin.
She slapped his hand away. “Stop it, or I’ll shove that napkin down your throat.”
Ah, there she was, his fierce little blossom. The sweet smell of jasmine shampoo filled his nose when he put his mouth to her ear. “I’m sorry for leaving last night. Will you forgive me?”
Her surprised gaze softened, and she gave him the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. “Yes.”
“Just like that?”
She shrugged. “I know you’re going through a tough time. I can understand that.”
“I should’ve stayed. It’s just—”
“Y’all eat up. There’s more where that came from.” Mimi placed another piece of egg-coated bread on the griddle.
“These are delicious, Mimi,” Luanne said.
Or he assumed that’s what she said. It was hard to tell with her mouth as full as it was. “You might want to slow down there, champ. I’d hate for you to choke and I’d have to give you mouth-to-mouth. On second thought…”
“You wish.” She flipped him the bird. Covertly, of course, since Mimi and Leslie were in the room.
He did indeed wish. Thoughts of her straddling him, with her hands in his hair and her lips on his, were all he could think about these days. He reached over and wiped a bit of syrup from her lower lip with his thumb. The sticky goodness was sweet on his tongue as he licked it off, while never looking away from her. “This syrup’s delicious, Mimi.”
“Your daddy and Kyle made it.”
The bites he’d eaten coagulated into a ball of confusion, disappointment, and anger in his belly. He pushed his plate away and picked up his coffee.
“Are you going to eat those?” Luanne asked.
He slid his plate her direction. “Be my guest.”
His daddy. He needed to decide what he was going to do about that situation. Mimi had stressed several times that Mitch was sick. But he wasn’t ready to confront him. And besides, what was there to confront? It sounded like the man had done all he could to protect Jack. He just wasn’t ready to see him yet.
The sound of the front door opening and closing came from the other room.
“Clyde, is that you?” Mimi called.
“No Mimi, it’s us.” Two men appeared in the entry to the kitchen. Both were tall, but one was blonde and fit, while the other leaned on a
cane.
Even without anyone saying a thing. Jack knew this was his father.
Mimi dropped the spatula and gasped. “Mitch, Kyle, what in heaven’s name are you doing here?”
Mitch’s partner came into the room and kissed Leslie and Mimi on the cheek. “You know him, Mimi, stubborn as a mule. Once he found out Jack was here, nothing would stop him from coming.
A hand appeared in Jack’s face. “I’m Kyle Harris-Rawlings. You must be Jack.”
Jack never took his eyes off Mitch and Mitch never took his eyes off him.
“I’m Luanne Price, Kyle. It’s nice to meet you.”
Kyle didn’t seem the least bit flustered by Jack’s rudeness. He switched his focus to Luanne. “Oh, my word, if you aren’t the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”
If Jack hadn’t been having an out-of-body experience, he would’ve laughed at that. Luanne was a lot of things, but cute wasn’t one of them. Fierce, fiery, spectacular, but not cute. However, he was in the middle of his own existential crisis, because the father he’d never known existed was standing six feet away from him.
“Mitch, honey, sit down, before you fall down.” Leslie went to him and tried to lead him to a chair.
He waved her off and stood staring at Jack.
“Mitch, why in the world would you risk your health by getting on a plane?” Mimi went to him and fluttered her hands over his body.
“Because my son is here.” His voice cracked on the word son, and Jack had to fight the urge to run from the room.
“Don’t be a doodle, Mitch. Sit down,” Kyle said.
Mimi walked beside Mitch as he made his way to the chair opposite Jack. He vaguely wondered what she thought she would do if Mitch went down.
He extended his hand to Jack. “I’m Mitch Rawlings.”
Never let ’em see you sweat.
Jack leaned across the table and took his hand. “Jack Avery.”
Luanne squeezed his leg under the table. He ignored it, no matter how bad he wanted to hold on for dear life.
“Kyle, Mitch, are you hungry?” Mimi wiped her hands on her apron.
“Starvin’, Mimi,” Kyle said.
“I’m fine,” Mitch said.
“No you’re not.” Kyle sounded snappy, but even Jack could see the worry in the man’s face. “He’ll have a piece of French toast and a glass of milk. “You know what the doctor said.”
Mimi stopped and whirled around. “What did the doctor say?”
For the first time since he walked into the room Mitch looked away from his son and smiled at Mimi. “That my scans and blood work came back clear. But Dr. Travis says I’m too thin. He wants me to gain some weight.” His voice shook with emotion. “I’m cancer free, Mama. We just found out.”
Mimi dropped the spatula, then grabbed the bottom of her apron and buried her face in it, crying silently.
Mitch rose from the table and went to her, wrapping her in a hug. “It’s alright, Mama. It’s alright.”
She lowered the apron and took a huge breath. “Thank you, Jesus.”
Leslie and Kyle wiped their own tears and laughed. Mitch made his way back to his seat. On the way, he squeezed Leslie’s shoulder. She leaned her head to his arm, love radiating from her face. He dropped into his chair and put his arm around a crying Kyle, who immediately crumbled into his embrace.
Mitch glanced at Jack and Luanne. “He hasn’t broken down at all since we got the news. I think being here with the family he feels like he can finally let down his guard.”
Kyle sat up and wiped his face. “Stop talkin’ about me like I’m not here.”
The sweetest expression swept across Mitch’s face, and he wiped a tear from Kyle’s cheek. “I could never forget you’re here.”
Jack’s skin felt itchy. Not because of the poignant scene across the table from him, but because he felt like an interloper. He didn’t know these people, and it seemed wrong to be sharing in their pain and joy.
He took Luanne’s elbow and stood. “We’re going to run an errand.”
He had to give Luanne credit, she didn’t hesitate or balk. “Yes, I need a few things from the drug store.”
Everyone looked at him like he was crazy, and a little heartless. Everyone but Mitch, who’d started eating the food Mimi set in front of him. “Okay, I’ll see you when you get back.” And even though he didn’t want to, Jack’s estimation of the man grew exponentially.
“We’ll be back.” He escaped with Luanne in tow.
As soon as they were out the front door he dropped her arm and walked down the steps and into the yard, leaving her on the porch. At the edge of the yard he stumbled and caught himself against a tree. This was so embarrassing. It had taken all of his strength not to blow chunks in the kitchen, and now he almost fell to the ground.
A water bottle appeared in front of his face. “Here.”
He grabbed it and chugged. “Where’d you get that?”
“I had it in my purse.” She took the bottle back and replaced the lid. “You alright?”
“Yeah, yeah.” He waved her off. “I must’ve gotten too hot.”
“Uh-huh.”
It was evident she didn’t believe a word he said. He took her hand and led her through the trees. “Come on, I want to show you something.”
She stumbled along behind him. “Hey, slow down. Short legs here.”
“Oh, sorry.” He slowed his pace to match hers.
“Where are we going?”
He tightened his grip on her hand in case she decided to bolt. “To a place Leslie showed me yesterday.”
They walked maybe a quarter of a mile until they came to a clearing. There was a stream that opened into a small swimming hole, with a wooden structure next to the water. He dropped her hand and filled his lungs for the first time since seeing Mitch Rawlings walk into Mimi’s kitchen. Then he bent over with his hands on his knees and squeezed his lids shut.
“Jack?”
Shit. For a moment, he forgot she was there. Without opening his eyes, he said, “Yeah.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“What do you want to do?”
Forget this whole freakin’ mess. Not look pitiful. Take back some fucking control. He peeked up at her and gave her his most convincing I-don’t-give-a-shit-that-my-life-is-falling-apart smile. “Let’s go skinny-dipping.”
Luanne’s heart broke a little bit for Jack at that moment. He was trying so hard to hold it together and pretend like nothing happened that he was now talking like a crazy man. “You want to go skinny dipping? Now?”
He began undoing the buttons of his shirt with jerky movements. “Yes. It’s hot as hell out here. We should jump in and cool off. Don’t ya think?”
His words came out so fast she could hardly understand him. “Skinny-dipping isn’t exactly what I had planned today. Why don’t we sit and talk?”
He worked at toeing one shoe off while still unbuttoning his shirt. “What’s the matter Lulu, you chicken?”
His movements were choppy and manic, not at all like the sleek, smooth-talking Jack Avery she’d come to know, and lov—no, she didn’t do love. But she did care about him, and the idiot couldn’t get out of his own way long enough to realize that he didn’t have to hide from her. After all, hadn’t she told him things and opened up to him in a way that she never had to anyone else?
There was no help for it. She’d have to do something drastic to snap him out of this fight or flight episode. He was way past reason. And because she cared about him, she’d do this for him.
She grabbed the hem of her Charity Mart green sundress and began inching it up her legs.
Jack stopped moving. “What are you doing?”
“I’m getting undressed.”
“I can see that.” He sounded downright peevish.
She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. “You said we were going skinny-dipping.”
“I…um…I didn’t think…”
<
br /> Her dress inched up a little more.
He stilled her hand. “Stop that.”
She smoothed down the material. “Then stop acting like an idiot and talk to me.”
There was a long beat of silence then he exploded. “Gaaaaaaah!” He stomped away then stomped back to her. “This is so fucked up!”
“I know.” It was all she could say until he calmed down. She held her ground as hurricane Jack whirled around her.
“Look at my hands.” Both shook like puppies in a thunderstorm. “I don’t do this.” He hid the evidence of his freak-out by crossing his arms over his chest, the shaking appendages shoved into his armpits. “I do not lose it.”
“I know.” It was a strain to keep her voice steady and even. It was so hard watching him suffer this way.
He jabbed his finger in the direction of Mimi’s house. “Did you see what happened in there? Why is he here? I wasn’t ready to see him.” He laced his fingers on top of his head and took several shaky breaths.
“I know.” The breathing seemed to be working. When he opened his lids, the wildness was gone, but the torture was still front and center. Seeing him in this much pain hurt her heart and caused a strange, powerful sensation to seep between her ribs and fill her chest.
He stalked around for a bit more, mumbling and muttering to himself, then finally seemed to run out of steam. “What do I do, Lu?”
“Come with me.” She took his hand and led him to the wooden structure by the pond. He followed along wordlessly, which worried her more than his ranting.
The little shack wasn’t a shack at all, but a bird observatory. Comfy chairs and a chaise lounge filled the space. A glass wall revealed the pond’s bank, the beautiful green meadow dotted with wild flowers beyond, and an electronic bird feeder like the one Gigi had in her yard hanging in a tree. Birds of all shapes and sizes loitered around waiting for the bounty. She led Jack to the chaise. “Sit.”
He did, then rested his elbows on his knees, clasped his hands between his legs, and dropped his head. The scrape of the chair she pulled in front of him seemed to get his attention.
“I’m sorry.” His handsome face was drawn and flushed from his outburst.
Running with a Sweet Talker (Brides on the Run Book 2) Page 20
