by London Casey
He kept pressing at me, staying so impossibly deep, leaving me feel like he was going to break me open. I wasn’t sure if it would help with the pregnancy or not, but I knew one thing for sure.
I was relaxed.
Kye kissed my cheek and placed his lips to my neck. Each exhale of breath sent shivers through my body.
Slowly and softly, he exited my body.
Before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed for him. I looked at him. “Sleep in bed with me tonight, Kye. Please. I just feel…”
“Okay, darling,” he said. His lips pressed to my shoulder and he moved to the other side of bed.
I smiled and shut my eyes, feeling at peace.
My night got better when I felt Kye touch me again. His hand started at my shoulder and worked its way down to my belly. I put my hand to his hand.
Did it have to be so bad? Did he have to be an outlaw? Wasn’t there a chance that things could work between us?
The thoughts swam around my mind like goldfish in a big bowl.
I thought maybe there was a chance we were turning a corner.
I turned out to be right… but we were turning a very dark and bad corner…
**
I rolled over and the bed was empty.
Big shock there.
I kept rolling, unable to be on my back for long before my back started to ache in pain. The baby did not like me on my back.
The baby.
That was the other thing.
Kye and I hadn’t decided on a name yet. We had done nothing that a normal couple would probably do as they prepare for their first child together. Then again, look at the circumstances. Most of our communication was short lived, questions and answers, and sometimes we ended up having sex. Just like the night before.
I forced myself to sit up, groaning. The pains shot through my legs and my back. They were damn near everywhere. The first sight of pains used to scare me. Kye had snuck me to the hospital more than once only to be told by doctors and PA’s that I was fine. Either normal pains or fake contractions. The word was easy: I’d know when the baby was coming.
Kye appeared in the doorway in jeans and a t-shirt. Call me crazy but as sexy as Kye looked butt naked he looked just as sexy in jeans and a t-shirt. His body was made for t-shirts. The size of his chest pulled the shirt up, showing off his reaper belt buckle. His arms naturally filled out the sleeves with ease. Veins throbbed and he wasn’t even working out or flexing.
He had a glass of orange juice in one hand and bowl of oatmeal in the other.
“Let me know if this works,” he said. “If not, I’ll go get something.”
“Good morning to you too,” I said.
Kye brought me the breakfast. The orange juice was cold with pulp - just the way I like it. The oatmeal was thick and sugary. Probably nothing healthy about it at all, but it soothed my stomach and made the baby happy.
Sometimes I felt like a hidden crippled person. The way Kye stood at the end of the bed and watched me. The way he catered to me in the sense of convenience. The way he always had an excuse to leave and by leaving, I had no idea when he was going to return.
If ever.
I stared at Kye and that was the scariest thing. I knew the way his MC was. Shit, the entire town knew it. I grew up in Daurian and knew about Back Down Devil MC. There had been bad wars between the club and the police. Wars with other clubs. Wars with powerful people from Russia, Ireland, even China. All that kind of stuff in such a small town seemed impossible.
My father had been in the mix of it, trying to keep a balance. That balance only gained him a bullet to his chest, taking his life.
“You’re mad at me,” Kye said. “I see your eyes burning.”
I took a big bite of the oatmeal and put it down on the nightstand. “I feel like a whale.”
“You’re not a whale, darling. You’re a very pregnant woman.”
“I feel hidden.”
“You are hidden,” he said. “By choice.”
“Fuck you, Kye.”
“Already been done,” he said.
“I hate you.”
“That’s okay.”
I sipped the orange juice. “You don’t even care, do you?”
“About what?”
“Dying.”
Kye grinned. “That conversation again?”
“Again? Kye, you run with bad guys.”
“Alleged bad guys,” he said making air quotes. “Why does that matter?”
“What if something happens to you?” I asked. “What do I do? Huh?”
Kye shook his head. “The club would take care of you and the baby. But you don’t want that. I gave you a phone, darling. I swear, if something happened to me, you’d know. Someone would call.”
“From the club?”
“Yeah. I put trust in Max to call you. I gave him the number and I told him someone important needed to know. For all he knows it could be a woman, a man, a relative, a fucking lawyer or accountant. I trust him.”
“So I sit and wait to either have a baby or wait for the phone to ring.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Kye said. He moved toward the bed. When he got close enough he touched my shoulder. “You wanted it like this, Dakota. Remember that. You asked. You begged. You cried. So I did what you wanted.”
Kye tried to touch my face but I swatted him away. I was being catty but whatever, I had the right to do so. It was my body that had been put through hell and back. I was the one who had to force a baby through my hole. My mind still hadn’t figured out how that was going to happen.
“Fine,” he said. “If you need anything else, let me know.”
“The name,” I blurted out.
“The name? Of who?”
“Our baby, Kye.”
He froze at the end of the bed. “I don’t know, darling. I was hoping to pick when we met him.”
“We can’t even talk about it?”
Kye looked back at me. “I don’t know. Makes everything feel too real for me then.”
I touched my huge belly. “And what is this? Bloat from eating too much?”
Kye laughed. “I love when you get mad at me. Your nostrils flare.”
“Don’t look at me and use the word love ever.”
“Yeah, right,” he said. Kye walked to the door and stopped. “I’m leaving in a few. Club stuff. Yeah, go roll your eyes. Don’t forget, Dakota, what I do for a living pays the bills here. I’ve gotten everything I could for the baby. We’re stocked on supplies for a while. I hope you can appreciate that.”
“Kye, I do appreciate it. All of it. You know my…”
“I know your…,” Kye said and waved as he disappeared. A second later his head popped back through the doorway. “Tell you what, darling. To help pass the time. Why don’t you grab a notebook and pen. Write down your favorite names. We’ll talk tonight. Okay? I promise.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
Kye winked.
Ah, that fucking wink.
That wink was what got my attention the night we met. The wink that led me down a dangerous path.
But at least it was something, right?
We’d talk about the name of our baby. That was a step in the right direction.
I heard the door shut downstairs and I heard the motorcycle engine fire up.
I smiled, almost enjoying it all.
Maybe things would slowly change. Me and the outlaw. Our baby.
I finished the oatmeal and drank the OJ. I climbed out of bed to stretch my legs. I carried the bowl and glass down the stairs, taking them slowly. I stood in the kitchen, rinsing them out, and then found a notebook and pen.
I sat at the table and looked out the window to a backyard that was more than enough for our family.
The first name I wrote down was Kye.
Wouldn’t it be great to name the first born son after his father?
I then put the pen to paper and stopped.
I had been so worried about picking a
name I hadn’t even thought about a name.
I almost laughed at myself for being such a bitch to Kye.
Oh well, he’d have to go through the list and help me whittle it down.
It was going to be fun. It was going to make us feel normal.
I quickly wrote down the first three names that came to mind.
There was only one problem…
Kye was never going to get to read that list.
chapter five
(kye)
I pulled into the lot and saw Max, Cash, and Tristan standing at a table.
Max had a mug of coffee while Cash and Tristan were already on beer. Nothing like passing out drunk and waking up to chase the hangover away with more alcohol.
I couldn’t knock them though because when I climbed off my ride and walked to them, I kicked at the cooler under Tristan’s foot.
“Hit me up, brother,” I said.
Tristan opened the cooler and grabbed me a beer.
“Cheers, bro,” he said in a rough voice.
“So here’s what I did,” Cash said. “I took these three fingers and slid a condom over them, okay? I mean, I don’t mind a finger here and there, but I’m not digging up in there like a fucking doctor, right? I mean, not with a beautiful pink pussy staring at me. But she kept talking about her ass…”
“Another fun night?” I asked.
Cash looked at me. He peeled his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose and showed me his bloodshot eyes. “You have no idea. That chick was wild, man. Emily. Damn. I usually forget their names. But this one… almost brought a tear to my eye.”
“Question,” I said. “Did you kiss her?”
“Of course I did.”
“You stuck your tongue in her mouth?”
“Yeah,” Cash said. “Why?”
I smiled ear to ear.
“What?”
I took a swig of beer. “Bro, she went down on me before she went to you.”
Cash stepped back. “What the fuck did you just say?”
“You heard me,” I said. “I took her down the hall. She wanted to suck me off. I had something else already in place, that’s why I left. But before… she got on her knees…”
Cash spit on the ground. He slammed his beer on the table, sending a stream of foam up and over the neck.
“You fucker,” he growled. “You fucking blew a load all over her mouth and I kissed her!”
“So…,” Max said. “It’s like Cash gave Kye a blowjob.”
“Easy with that,” I said.
“I’ll kill you,” Cash said.
He jumped forward. He smashed into Max’s hand, spilling coffee everywhere.
“Fuck!” Max yelled as he let the mug go and dropped it. The mug shattered on the ground.
Tristan grabbed Cash and held him back as I laughed.
“Come on, Cash,” I said. “It’s not the first time you’ve tasted another guy’s jizz. You and I both know that.”
“Fuck off,” Cash said. He wrestled Tristan away. He rubbed his face. “Goddammit. I need something stronger than beer for this.”
“For what?” Trev asked as he came out of the clubhouse, Jasper, Trent, and Duke behind him.
Max looked at Trev. “Cash gave Kye a blowjob last night.”
“What?” Jasper asked.
“Bro,” I said. “Some reliever went down on me and then kissed Cash.”
“Oh,” Trev said. “Well, that’s why they invented toothpaste and whiskey.”
“I’m going to set my mouth on fire,” Cash said.
Trent and Duke started to laugh. Cash downed the entire bottle of beer and demanded a second one.
I reached down to grab a fresh bottle for Cash, wanting to give him a peace offering. I put my hand around the cold bottle and I heard the blip blip of a siren behind me.
I stood and looked over my shoulder as a police SUV came into the lot with two cruisers behind it.
“Ah, shit,” I whispered.
Trev curled his lip. “What the fuck is this about?”
**
Chief Danielson ripped the sunglasses off his face and threw a folder on the table. He looked around at all of us. Then he focused right at me for a few extra seconds.
“How was that jelly?”
“Don’t ask me,” I said. “It was the Prez’s old lady.”
“She still pregnant?” the chief asked Trev.
“You know that answer,” Trev said. “What’s this?”
“This is a big problem,” Chief Danielson said. “A car exploded. Nasty thing. Out of my jurisdiction though. Good for me. Bad though that county is all over me for more answers.”
“We were already harassed,” I said.
“Right. Over jelly.”
“You ever deal with cravings and pregnant women?” I asked.
“Trust me, you don’t want to say no to a pregnant woman with cravings,” Trev said.
I hear you, Prez. I can’t tell you… but I hear you.
“Right,” the chief said. He put a foot up and pointed to the folder. “So let me break this thing down easily. The car bomb? Fuck that. They’re looking into it. They know what it means. It’s a beef and it’s not good. Nobody needs that shit in their lives. I think we can all agree on that. The problem… is the body.”
“The what?” Trev asked.
Chief leaned forward and flipped open the folder. I saw the picture for a few seconds and then turned my head. The guy had been beaten up pretty bad. He looked like he was left in a ditch. I felt bad for whoever it was but I had nothing to do with it. Neither did the MC.
“This guy,” Chief Danielson. “He means nothing to me. But he obviously got himself a little hurt there.”
“Looks that way,” Trev said.
“I have to give you a quick warning,” Chief Danielson said. “You’ve got two minutes.” He looked right at me. “Then I’m taking you in.”
“What?” I asked.
“County has you tied to this.”
“To a murder? Fuck off.”
“You can give your alibi and figure this out later. If you don’t come in with me, Kye, then county will sweep through. You don’t want that. They want to search the clubhouse and go after all of you.”
“This doesn’t make sense. How the fuck…”
“Give me a second here,” Trev said.
Chief grabbed his folder and backed off. That was the relationship we had in town with the police. Some were on board. Some weren’t. No matter what though, the MC always had the stronger hand and always did what was best for the club and for the town.
“Murder?” Jasper asked. “What the fuck is this?”
“Smells like a setup,” I said. “Coming straight from Ivan.”
“Easy now,” Trev said. “We all just need to get our heads straight. Nobody is going to jail. I might need you to go inside, Kye. Just local.”
“Fuck,” I said. I looked at Max.
“I don’t get this,” Cade said. “We were together last night. We did what was done. Xavier broke away to get the damn jelly.”
“Shit,” Cash said. “Brother,” - he pointed to me - “you said you took off last night.”
“You left the clubhouse?” Trev asked.
“I had to go…”
“You took that woman with you, right?”
“No, Prez,” I said. “She took care of me and then spent the night with Cash.”
“Ah, fuck,” Trev growled. “You were alone?”
“Yeah.”
“You have an alibi?”
“Yeah. What the fuck? You think I did something…”
“I didn’t say that,” Trev said. He turned his head. Anger spread across his face.
“Brother, look at the outside,” Jasper said. “You leave the clubhouse. We don’t know where you’re at. The next day the police show up blaming you for murder.”
“So my own brothers don’t believe me?” I asked.
“Of course we believe you,” Max said. “I
t doesn’t make sense. You couldn’t have gone to another county to knock off some guy. But you know how this works, Kye…”
“Guilty until proven innocent,” I muttered.
“Damn straight,” Max said. “So we just have to push through this.”
There was a whistle from behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Chief Danielson standing there. Two officers got out of the cars behind his SUV and started to approach.
“Fuck me,” I said.
“We’ll sort this out,” Jasper said.
“Just go with the motion,” Trev said. He wouldn’t look at me. “I’ll get on the line with the lawyers.”
“I didn’t do a thing,” I said. “I just want you all to know that.”
“Let’s go for a walk, Kye,” one of the officers said.
Suddenly Dakota popped into my head. I saw her sitting in bed, writing out a list of names. I had avoided that shit with her for the longest time. Why? Because I wanted it to work with her. I wanted to tell the MC. I wanted to have my fucking family.
More than that I wanted to see her again. Just one more time. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hug her. Kiss her. I wanted to touch her stomach and kiss it. I wanted to tell my baby - my son - that it was all going to be okay.
My mind raced and I felt my heart racing. We were all born with the flight-or-fight response. What the fuck did you think I’d do?
The second one of the officers touched my wrist, I flipped shit.
I tore my hand away. I threw an elbow back, cracking him in the nose. I dove forward and jumped over the table. I grabbed Max by his leather cut and pulled at him.
“Listen to me,” I said.
Voices were screaming as the officers drew their weapons.
I had created a scene.
“You call that number. Right fucking now. Max, you tell her…”
“Her?” Max asked. “What the hell are you hiding, brother?”
I opened my mouth to tell Max what was going on. I had no choice. I had to give it all to Max. It was a ton of shit to wear on his shoulder, but I needed Dakota to be safe. And my baby.
“She’s the m…”
I couldn’t get the other out of my mouth.
I heard screaming and then I felt a crippling jolt. My body froze and it was like I just got whacked with a lightning bolt. Except it was a taser.
