by Jack Parker
"What the hell, David?" He lowered me to the ground but kept a firm grip on the saw.
"You trying to get yourself killed? That tree is rotten." He jerked his huge arm in the direction of the tree, but if he had continued speaking, his next words were lost as the huge Oak crashed down, taking a few smaller Maples with it. I stared in disbelief. It had fallen the opposite direction of the notch, and my stomach dropped and recoiled with nausea. Trees that had rotted out in the middle were just one of the many dangers timber cutters faced every day. I had been lucky that the bottom of the tree had not shot out and hit me while I stood there. If the bottom blows out, there is no telling which way the tree will fall and the person holding the saw almost always gets smacked, killed if they're lucky.
"And that's why I was waiting to get the equipment to top it before I cut it." He stated matter-of-factly and lowered himself to one knee in front of me. "Are you okay, Miss Lauren?" I nodded, not trusting my voice, and his rough heavy hand fell onto my shoulder as he searched my face and body for any indication otherwise.
Luci's car hummed quietly as it pulled into the round driveway, but when she saw us in the middle of the yard like that, she slammed on the breaks. The tires skidded a few feet and then stopped in the gravels. Luci ran as best she could in her high heels to us, slowing to a walk the last ten feet when she found no physical damage. She mirrored David and kneeled beside me and placed a warm hand on my other shoulder.
"What happened?" She demanded, but I turned my eyes back to the fallen tree and tuned out David's voice as he explained his version. I should have been more careful, judged the tree more accurately. There really is no way to tell for sure by looking at a tree, but if I had been thinking clearly, my intuition would have saved me.
Luci and David's firm grips on my arms pulled me back to reality as I found my feet on solid ground. Mattison and Berta stood closely together at the front door, watching the scene. Mattie jumped the three steps from the landing by the door to the ground when we reached to cobblestone path leading to the door. David stood back and allowed her to resume his position at my side, but I felt his lingering presence just behind us.
"Berta, please bring some tea to Lauren's room." Luci bade softly as we passed the grouchy cook.
I looked between Mattison and Luci's worried eyes and tried to shrug away their hands. "I'm fine, really." They looked at each other above my head and held tight as we climbed the stairs. Adrenaline joined the nausea in my stomach when I realized that Ashley may not have taken the file from my bed, and I nearly puked in front of my door.
Mattison opened it quickly, and David's strong hand on my back urged me forward. I released my held breath when I found the bed empty. David nodded in satisfaction when I sat on the bed limply without protest. Luci fussed with the covers, and Mattison hugged herself, not quite sure what to do with her hands.
"You stay there, okay, Miss Lauren. You've been in an almost catatonic shock twice in less than twenty-four hours. You need to rest and let your mind catch up," David ordered and placed his huge hands on his hips. Luci nodded at the instruction and turned to me.
"It will be done, David. Thank you." The words had been directed at him, but her tone was for my ears. He nodded and squinted at the obvious tension in the room.
"If you don't mind, I'll get back to work now." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder towards the door.
"Of course. Thank you again, David." His boots boomed across the balcony and down the stairs. "Mattie, you may resume your chores as well."
"I could take Lauren to my room to watch some T.V since she must rest," Mattison offered helpfully; no ulterior motive hid beneath her concerned words, but Luci waved her hand dismissively.
"Absolutely not. Resume your chores," Luci ground out coldly, and Mattie bowed her head and exited the room, closing the door softly behind her. I felt bad for the girl and almost called Luci on her harsh treatment but decided the effort too great for my weary mind at the moment.
Luci paced and wrung her hands, grabbing at threads of control over her emotions. She retrieved my cigarettes and ash tray and deposited them on the nightstand, finally sitting in the wooden chair at the desk and propped her elbow on the arm rest. Her face fell into her hand, and a sigh heaved her chest. I thought for a brief moment that she might have been crying, but Berta's knock at the door pulled her normally controlled face into place as she opened the door and took the tray from the older woman. Her toe nudged the door closed with a click.
"Do you wish to share exactly what you were proving with that stunt?" Luci asked callously as she poured two cups of steaming tea. She handed one to me as she lowered herself into the chair again.
"I don't know." I shrugged. Luci fixed a pointed gaze upon my face, and I withered, grasping at an answer, any answer, that might have placated my seething employer. "Ashley made me so mad. I think I just needed to feel like I was in control of something. The last 24 hours of my life have been very bizarre and stressful." I answered as honestly as I could, hoping the rambling words that strung together in sentences made sense to Luci.
"Are you referring to its beginning as the incident with Mattison last night?" There was something indefinable in her voice. Anger and jealousy, sure, but something else lurked just beneath the surface, and I felt two inches tall.
"I told you then and I will tell you now, that was never supposed to happen." I sipped the tea and winced at the burn on my lips and tongue. The minty flavor, however, was surprisingly good.
"What exactly had you expected to happen? You have been practically undressing the girl with your eyes for weeks now. She's very intelligent, so naturally, she noticed your attention. Mattison is very open with her sexuality and certainly understands how to wield it. I have encountered a similar issue once before with her. She is also quite impressionable. Her lack of emotional nourishment as a child has left her feeling empty and searching for attention. It matters little to her heart who offers it." Luci sipped at her tea, and her shoulders instantly relaxed.
I studied her exhausted face; the creased lines around her mouth seemed more pronounced than usual. Her eyes puffed from sleep deprivation, emphasizing the dark purple circles beneath them. She probably had not gone back to sleep after she had put me to bed last night. Guilt swelled in my chest, and I stared into my tea cup. She knew Mattison better than anyone else in the world, and if she had given the time and effort to analyze Mattison's condition, I would be nothing but disrespectful to challenge it.
"So, what happened?" I pried as I always did. Luci sighed and rubbed her eyes with a thumb and fore finger.
"We were still in France. The incident involved the previous companion under my employ, Emily. Things happened that night that I'd rather not discuss." Luci placed her empty tea cup on the desk and slumped into her chair. Whatever happened in France obviously bothered Luci to this day, even though nearly two years had passed.
"I lost control that day, Lauren, and also when I struck you, but I assure you, it will never happen again. You needn't know the details of that day as long as you understand that those events are the reason I stress the importance of learning to control your anger. I do not wish to see you repeat my mistakes." Luci's haunted eyes gazed into mine, and I squirmed uncomfortably. Her brokenness unnerved me. It felt superficial and at the same time the darkest reality I'd ever experienced.
"So, when you saw me with Mattie, it brought all of that up?" I wondered aloud, and she nodded.
"Precisely. I understand you may have reservations, but I do hope that you wish to remain here," she prodded for reassurance. I withheld, feeling slightly satisfied in the confirmation of her continued desire of my presence.
"How long were you with Emily?" I sat the tea on the night stand and lit a cigarette. Luci sighed deeply, resigning herself to a story she hadn't wished to tell.
"3 years. 2 of them as lovers," she responded after a stretched silence. "I have been without companionship for nearly 18 months, to answer your next quest
ion. And, no, I do not expect a sexual relationship with you. I stated my intentions when you first interviewed for this job. I only want a protégé, nothing more."
Luci's resigned tone and broken demeanor tore at my heart, and I slid off the bed with my arms stretched towards her. Luci anticipated the embrace and stood abruptly, thwarting my movements. She stepped towards the door but did not reach for the knob. I held my hands up and returned to my seat on the bed. Luci made it so incredibly easy to forget that she had been broken by life, and I reminded myself sometimes that the woman was not invincible. The events of the past day had worn her down nearly as much as they had me, and I needed to respect her right to build herself up again.
"I'm sorry that you had to go through all that crap again, Luci. I swear that I will not take advantage of Mattie or your kindness. I know that sounds like an empty promise, but it's true. This whole being into women thing is new to me, and she caught me off guard in a vulnerable situation. That's all. It will not happen again." I hoped my words would reach her but didn't expect much. Luci was a complex, highly emotional woman who sparingly gave her trust. I only prayed that one day I would be able to regain it.
"I believe you, Lauren. I had no idea you were so inexperienced." I shrugged and stared at the floor, unsure of what my next course of action should be. Luci wrung her hands nervously and stared at me. If the kiss with Mattie didn't ruin a sexual relationship with Luci, I'm fairly certain that my lack of lady love just stomped it out completely. I sighed. Emotions were sloppy and difficult, and I yearned to go into town tonight and find a one night stand just to confirm my ability to lure people with my sexuality.
"Rest, Lauren. Listen to some of those books I gave you or sleep. We will resume learning the computer software next week. Right now, you need to focus on making the final arrangements for your father, despite your strained relationship." Her blue silk soothed my frayed nerves, despite the subject of discussion. I felt nothing for the man who'd given me life. I felt so far removed from that life that beyond the initial shock of the information my mind and heart remained completely detached as though I'd not actually been awake for the first 22 years of my life. Luci Pravitas breathed life into this weary soul, rousing her from a horrible nightmare.
"Okay," I whispered, but she'd already clacked from the room. I curled into a ball in the middle of my bed and let the exhaustion of the day pull me from consciousness.
When I awoke the second time that day, the sun had nearly set, and my stomach growled and grumbled like trolls assembling for war. I rolled out of bed, flailing slightly as my feet searched for balance and then stretched my arms above my head and leaned from side to side; vertebrae popped and snapped as they realigned. I grabbed the tray on the desk and lazily trekked towards the kitchen. Everything felt surreal, even the mansion seemed like a dream in the dim light. I tried to clear my mind, discern reality from fantasy, and before I realized I had entered the kitchen, Berta stood before me. She snatched the tray away and placed it next to the sink.
"Hi Berta." Determined to break the ice with this woman, I stepped beside her and began rinsing dishes. "Let me help you." Also, she may actually give me dinner leftovers if I helped her. She grunted but did not slap my hands away from the sink.
"So, you've worked for Luci's family a long time?" She grunted and nodded as she slipped a plate into my sink. I rinsed both sides thoroughly and placed it in the dish rack at my right. Why she washed them by hand when she had access to a dishwasher flitted in and out of my mind. It wasn't important.
"Held that girl as a wee babe," she commented in her thick scratchy voice.
"Really? That's pretty cool. Didn't you ever want a life outside of your work, though? Have kids of your own?" Berta wasn't so bad.
"Amelia, Luci's mother, was my life. I protected her secrets, and she gave me everything. I was loyal to the end and now I keep my promise to watch over the child we raised together after her husband died." Her voice was the same strong, firm, scratchy voice as always, but her face had drooped. Her eyes portrayed the grief she carried at the lost of her dear friend, and I felt sorry for the woman. She had no tether to this life either save her turbulent relationship with the daughter she never had. I changed the subject.
"What was Luci like growing up?" I asked nonchalantly as I rinsed another dinner plate.
"Oh, much like she is now. Quiet. Troubled. Stubborn as a donkey. Always did have a hard time keeping friends." She flipped soap from her fingers, pulled a pot across the counter and scrubbed it diligently with a metal scratcher.
"Because of her scars?" The words slipped out before I could stop them, and I held my breath. Berta stiffened, faltering exactly one second in the diligent cleaning of the pot.
"Now, girlie, that is a question for Luci, not me. Only she knows her reasons." She did not sound angered or offended, grieved perhaps.
"Please, Berta. I only want to understand her so that I can help her. I can't do that if she won't let me in." I wasn't above begging.
Berta tossed the scratcher into the soapy water and dunked the pot. She scrubbed some more and nodded her head like she was thinking of an appropriate response. She handed me the pot and pulled the plug on her sink before drying her hands on a towel slung over her shoulder.
"She was nine years old when it happened. She keeps most of them covered," the cook explained, waving her hand over her chest and stomach. I jerked with the new knowledge. How extensive were Luci's scars? "Took weeks for her body to recover from the shock and infection of it. Once she had, Amelia and I decided that she would fare best away from the family and sent her to a boarding school outside of London." She shuffled across the kitchen and opened the large stainless steel refrigerator, pulling plastic food containers from a couple of shelves. I stared at her slack-jawed.
"She was just a little girl, and she needed you. Why would you send her away?" I understood the stormy relationship between Berta and Luci better now. If she had taken part in Luci's separation from her mother when she obviously needed her, Luci's anger was justified.
"You weren't there, girlie. Luci was a difficult child. Smart as a hickory switch and devious as a cat, and Amelia… Well, my dear friend was great at a lot of things. Being a mother was not one of them." She shoveled food from each of the containers onto a plate and set it in the microwave. The machine beeped and then lit up as it heated the food. I chewed on the information, sensing Berta's patience with my invasive questions wearing thin. She pulled a fork from a drawer near the stove and placed it on top of the counter.
"Your food will be done soon. Clean up once you've finished." She nodded at me and then shuffled from the room.
I barely acknowledged her exit, my mind too focused on this new information. Luci's entire life had been one disappointment after another, and she had grown into a beautiful, compassionate, generous woman despite that. It gave me hope that one day people would look at me like they looked at her. They didn't care that she was odd and asocial once they felt the hand of her compassion pull them from their misery.
The microwave beeped, and I jumped as my thoughts slipped away in light of warm food. I pulled out the plate and dug in with gusto, not bothering to sit. I leaned against the counter and shoveled food into my mouth. I couldn't even taste it through the haze of my racing thoughts. If Luci had seen nothing but betrayal or what she perceived as betrayal from everyone she'd ever met, save those she paid for their service, then I would be different. I could leave, walk out the door right now, and I knew that I would make it just fine on my own, but I'd have never forgiven myself. I cared for her, and once I cared for someone, I refused to blatantly ignore that. I decided in that quiet kitchen that I would help Luci find peace and happiness, and if at all possible, I would be the reason for those things in her life.
CHAPTER 14
An obnoxious beeping and roar of a large machine woke me two days after my brief conversation with Berta. My bleary eyes searched for the red numbers of the digital alarm clock, and the
blurry numbers told me that it was just after ten. I smelled coffee and smiled at the thermos on the desk near the door. Luci would truly spoil me before the end. I picked the morning crust from my eyes and searched for a clean pair of jeans, nearly toppling over as I pulled them up my trembling legs. My equilibrium had not recovered from the abrupt awakening and the intense session Luci forced upon me last night. I loved it when she pushed me during our training time in the dark courtyard. I leaned my shoulder against the bed post and tried again. I grabbed my boots and sank into the chair in front of the thermos.
A tan piece of paper from Luci's notepad stuck out from beneath the thermos, and I stared at it as I popped the lid and sipped cautiously. Like yesterday, the coffee had cooled just enough to comfortably drink, and my body warmed as it trickled into my throat. I unfolded the note and set the thermos on the corner to prevent it from flapping as I tried to read it. I pulled on my socks and laced my boots as my foggy mind deciphered Luci's cursive script.
"Lauren, Come assist us if you feel up to the task. Follow the noise. Luci." I smiled at her barely masked challenge and stood. She knew that I would "feel up to the task" if she phrased it in such a way, and I assumed she had done it intentionally to keep my mind from wondering to the events of the past few days.
I snatched the coffee as I left the room and followed the noise to the front law near the tree line. A gigantic yellow backhoe and cherry picker sat near the tree line, and men with hard hats trimmed the canopy and strung lines with an excited fervor. I watched the intense work as I slowly crossed the lawn. David met me half way and shoved a hard hat onto my head. It fell into my eyes, and I laughed as I readjusted it. He turned and placed his huge hands on his hips as we continued towards the action.
"Is this your doing so I don't end up killing one of us?" I yelled over the chugging of machine motors, and he shook his head.
