DEADLY HOPE a gripping detective mystery full of twists and turns

by Jack Parker

  "Oh, that's all, is it? For the last time, leave this alone, Lauren. It is none of your concern." Her voice dropped in pitch as her red silk washed over my face and trickled down my spine.

  "It is my concern. What does she want you to tell me the truth about?" I pushed when I should have stopped and assessed the situation better.

  "As I said, that is none of your concern. Now do as you're told." I cracked. Luci had only given me a condescending command once before, but she'd thrown a tray of hot coffee and cups at me at the time. I no longer feared her, so I pressed on even though I knew she'd be angry with me afterwards.

  "No. Absolutely not. Not until you tell me what the hell is going on." Luci's eyes flared at the rebellion and then went blank. My heart pounded at the empty, hollow expressionless eyes which were usually so alive with emotion and life. Even when she'd been tossed into a jail cell and stripped of her protective clothing, her eyes had never been devoid of all emotions and expressions.

  "Luci?" She stood slowly, every muscle in her body controlled by the sheer will of her mind. She walked mechanically out of the dining room, the only sound came from her clicking heels and gentle swoosh of her blazer. I followed her at a distance. She crossed the Great Hall and shut herself away in her office. The lock clicked into place, and I stood outside of the door for a long time, wondering whether or not I should have knocked and apologized or leave her alone.

  I left her alone for now. We would revisit this conversation tomorrow, but for now, I'd obviously pushed her too far for the night. I climbed the stairs numbly, nearly knocking Mattison over as I reached the top. She smiled and flung herself in my arms, but I felt nothing for her during the hug. I supposed all of my emotions were tied with Luci's it seemed, and if she needed to be numb for the time being, I would follow her lead until we came together again.

  "Lauren, I'm so glad you are back!" She squealed when she released me from her death grip.

  "Thanks," I mumbled and stepped back.

  "Are you okay?" she asked and dipped her head to meet my down turned gaze.

  "Huh? Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Just a long day, I guess. How are you?" I lied.

  "I will be better when all of this is over. Are you sure you are okay?" She squinted like she was trying to read my emotions and confused by what she saw.

  "Really, Mattie." I squeezed her shoulder and smiled, hoping it looked genuine. "I'm just tired is all." She believed me because she returned my smile and hugged me again.

  "I will let you go to bed. I was just finishing for the day." She rubbed my shoulders. "Hang in there." I nodded, and she skipped off towards the West Wing.

  I hurried to my room and locked the door before anyone else stumbled across me in this state. I pulled my shoes off and crawled atop the cool comforter. I stared up at the colorful paintings on my bedroom ceiling and folded my hands on my full stomach. I wondered if this had been Luci's room as a child or if she'd kept her room when she moved back to the mansion. A thousand thoughts flitted through my mind, but I grasped none of them long enough to analyze it properly.

  Luci was a damaged woman, and whatever had happened between her and Berta while I was napping earlier had rattled her. Somehow I'd fallen under her spell without thinking twice or even realizing it. Is this what people felt like when they realized I'd seduced them into trusting me while hiding secrets and ulterior motives? It couldn't have been. Those people were essentially nothing to me, an amusement at best. I barely remembered half of them. This was different. Luci and I cared for each other in some insanely odd way that I've never before felt. Maybe it wasn't odd at all. Maybe I had fallen in love with her, and tonight's rejection was the type of emptiness and grief that people talk about when they went through a break-up.

  Maybe that's the true difference between men and women.

  Most of the men I knew covered true fear and pain with anger when the stakes were too high, and women felt nothing, choosing instead to fake emotions and continue functioning as if everything were ideal. Ashley had done it for years, gone numb to survive. Maybe I'd just never met anyone who was worth the sacrifice of my emotions, my sense of self. That thought comforted me, and I closed my eyes and pictured Luci's smiling face. Tomorrow she'd reveal everything, let me see all of that ugliness she kept locked away from the world.

  I would never run from her, would never betray her. She would be mine, and if it was the last thing I ever did, I'd make her understand that she never had to be alone again.

  CHAPTER 19

  Need.

  An aching, wanting compulsion that clawed at my chest from the inside and made me steal into the darkness of the mansion. The moonlight streamed a path from window to window, wisps in the darkness of the carved forest of the house that with each step brought me closer to dulling the pulsing twinge reverberating from my bones and organs, closer to her, the woman so complex that not even her lifelong employees and friends dared to speak with her on personal matters, lest they became swept away in the darkness lurking just beneath the surface. The thin sheet of ice that separated the graceful perfection that walked the halls in the darkness when she found sleep too elusive to bother with, a veil through which only Luci herself could see through to name and describe each horror on the other side, became thinner each day as more paranoia than poise seeped into the aura of her house.

  Luci's haunted eyes as she left the dinner table only a few hours earlier must have caused the ghastly images that violently tormented my sleeping mind. Human bodies writhed in pain, crying for water or a mother or a lover, in a pit similar to those of Ancient Rome, dark gaping holes beneath palaces where prisoners slowly starved to death, left mad by the silence and darkness. I knew in my dream that Luci had caused that suffering, but as I slipped quietly through the dark silent house with nothing but the slightly creaking floor boards and the moon as accomplices, my only thought that spurred me onwards, was the realization that I truly didn't care. My heart could not break for those souls lost in the pit at the hands of my employer, my sometimes friend and part time tormentor. I could not save them, and I could not save myself without Luci's aid.

  My steps faltered, my body half-hidden in the shadows of the corridor. I needn't be saved because there was no danger to be feared from Luci. She's a lonely woman who had been on the receiving end of more than enough bad karma to present a fallible case that she'd been a willing member of the Nazi Party in a past life, but that karma cannot and had not defined who Luci Pravitas became. The woman had been nothing but kind if not a bit reticent about her past since I'd begun my position.

  "I haven't made an insomniac of you as well, have I?" A silky voice teased from the shadows, impressing upon me how very easily it would be for one to slink through the halls of the manor in the dead of night completely undetected.

  "I was worried." I scratched out, wishing I could quit smoking, and cleared my throat. A silhouette formed in front of me, the unmistakable feminine curve of Luci. I loved bumping into her at night away from the prying eyes of the house and grounds staff who slept in a different wing of the mansion. Luci became so normal, so very human in her silk pajama pants and loose fitting tank top that she wore every night without regard to decorum, but the piece of the living portrait that I adored most was the sloppy ponytail that became Luci's soft blonde hair after night descended. The porcelain skin of her neck, the dip of her collarbones, all spoke a wonderful testament to the beautiful female that hid behind the veil of shiny dead skin cells each day.

  "Whatever about, Darling?" Luci purred, inches away from me, unseen even as her energy surrounded me. Sometimes, I wondered if Luci had fallen straight from a British novelist's mind, equipped fully with the proper vocabulary of the Queen's English.

  The proximity between us pulled a lurch from the clawing ache inside my chest once more, reminding me of the purpose for skulking about the dark hallways of the mansion in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping in my deluxe king-sized bed at the opposite side of the East wing from Luci
's room.

  "You." I nearly guffawed at the concern poisoning my voice, my reason. This woman had changed me in so many ways, made me feel so many things I'd never dreamed of feeling. I learned early in my life that once a person realized you cared, they manipulated you into whichever precipice they wished to push you over with barely lifting a finger. I'd done that very thing several times to the men I'd manipulated into bed.

  "Do you find amusement in your concern, Lauren?" Luci queried. Her eyes looked black in the darkness of the hall. I could not see the emotion there, but I felt them on my body like fingertips. An involuntary shudder slid up my spine, tickling the hair at the nape of my neck. Had I been more naïve, I would have turned to search out the specter that had breathed on the back of my neck. Instead, I searched the darkened face before me, catching glimpses of alabaster skin in the moonlight.

  "Not in the way you think, Luci. It's just…" I stopped, probing the darkness again for a glimmer of those kind and haunted eyes that I'd come to adore, to crave.

  Luci stepped forward, almost as if she sensed my need for connection, not quite into the light but near enough that I glimpsed her eyes, felt the heat spiraling from her body. My eyes slid shut, soaking in that warmth, that comfort that I'd been offered so freely with so little demanded in return. I flinched gently under the fingertips that skimmed the hair at my temple before resting on my cheek. I opened my eyes only to confirm that she had indeed touched me, that I hadn't imagined it.

  "Just what?" My eyes searched for a glimmer of evidence to the cause of the high pitch in Luci's voice, so unlike the gentle prodding of my friend's normal tone. I realized that within a moment the tender expression Luci wore only seconds before had been replaced with one of a woman who hungered to see the diseased parts of a person's psyche. I recognized early on in my employment under Luci Pravitas that my boss truly enjoyed puzzling together the ugly pieces that makes a person whole, like an addict scraping together that last penny required to buy his fix.

  "Why do you do that?" The words had fallen from my mouth before I could clamp my lips shut, and I grabbed at the side table behind me, physically preparing for an outburst similar to the one at dinner.

  To my relief, Luci made no indication that she would answer my hastily delivered question. Instead, she smiled that striking smile which caught all who looked upon it off balance and took another step forward into the silver pool of light offered by an almost full moon. One of Luci's thin hands reach out for my waist with all the intimacy and confidence of a lover and failed at stifling the tremor that shook my shoulders in anticipation. I had never bedded a woman before, but the idea didn't repulse me, especially if that woman was Luci. In fact, it had been the sole sexual curiosity that I had not explored during my many trysts of varying degrees. The fact that such a woman as Luci Pravitas currently pressed me against a table ignited a false confidence, and I boldly dared to press my hands against Luci's collarbones. Such a small gesture to the outside observer, but to anyone who knew Luci would recognize how intimate the touch was, how very rarely she allowed herself to be vulnerable. The thin lines of Luci's scars pressed into my palms, and I nearly climaxed there and then with the heady rush of power that spiked my adrenaline and clenched the muscles in my belly.

  I sought confirmation of Luci's consent or encouragement that she did in fact want this or perhaps mere guidance into this unchartered territory. The only expression I found, however, was that same one I'd seen on the first day I'd met the beautiful heiress, a look of pure bliss that such simple contact brought. Luci's eyes slid shut, mouth parted slightly, shoulders dropping slowly as the tension she constantly carried fell away. A similar swell of pity fill my stomach for Luci; beauty should be shared, but Luci had locked hers away in exchange for a life spent alone, physically and emotionally isolated from the world. I banished those thoughts and set my face to as calm and neutral an expression as I could muster given my current proximity to the lovely, complicated creature before me.

  "Don't run away from me," I begged her, surprised when I heard the desperate words aloud. Fear that Luci would bolt crept into my touch, sending tremors through my fingertips. Luci cracked her eyes after feeling the tremble and hearing my shaking words, but instead of the hardened expression that I had anticipated, she smiled and pulled my hips towards her. The movement clumsily shook the table and sent the vase crashing to the floor.

  I barely had time to flinch at the echoing shatter of glass before Luci pulled us from the pool of moonlight and pressed my back into the wall. Her toned body held mine in place as she stared down at me. I swallowed roughly as my mouth suddenly went dry. I had longed for this woman to be pressed against me for months, and now that my fantasy turned into reality, I hesitated, unsure of myself. She leaned into me slowly and pressed a kiss to my shoulder. I shuddered once, and then lips and teeth launched a delicious assault on my neck. I obligingly leaned my head to one side to accommodate the sensuous woman in front of me and clutched at her hips as a barrage of arousal and adrenaline pulled through my shaking body. The desperation in Luci's kiss broke whatever reserves I held, and the first time I felt Luci Pravitas' lips on my own, I knew I'd never again wonder what it felt like to kiss a goddess.

  I wrapped an arm around Luci's back, pulling her closer, tighter, feeling muscles ripple beneath the thin fabric of her tank top, evidence of her daily ride. Luci whimpered against my lips when my other hand found the curve of her ass and claimed it for my own, but just as quickly as it had come, the sound ceased when Luci's teeth painfully clamped onto my shoulder. I wasn't sure if I wanted to push Luci away in order to detach her or giggle in delight at the sound I had pulled from the other woman. My thoughts were decided for me when Luci jerked back, that wild look of terror and anger glowing in her eyes once again.

  "No," she commanded, grabbing at my hands and forcing them behind my back. She pushed me against the table, trapping my arms beneath my back with a strong hand to my throat, and I shut my eyes against the sudden light shining into them.

  Panic leapt into my chest and stole my breath. "Luci," was all I managed before the heiress leaned over my body and took a hardened nipple into her mouth through my shirt. My hips pressed into her without my permission, my body betraying my mind. I wanted to scream at Luci to stop, to let me go, that I needed equal ground in order to have sex with anyone, but the only sounds that escaped my lips were guttural, incomprehensible pleasure sounds. My body screamed for release, and my mind reminded me that this was wrong.

  "Luci," I tried again, only to feel the hand around my throat tighten ever so slightly. Finally, when I felt the cool night air upon me as my cotton sleep pants were dropped to the floor, I managed, against my body's will, to sit up and free my hands, only half in protest and the other in arousal. I pushed against Luci's shoulders, and she looked up at me in irritation.

  "Luci, stop," I panted. "Not this way," I added in a breathy whisper after watching the hurt dance across Luci's face before disappearing into the darkness.

  "Is my touch not pleasing to you, Darling?" Luci lilted teasingly, knowing her question was unnecessary if the smell of the liquid between my legs indicated anything.

  "It is." I answered unnecessarily and wrapped a hand around her hip, pulling her body against me again. I consciously prevented my hips from rolling the smooth silk fabric of Luci's pajama pants against that wetness before I forgot why I stopped completely. "Not like this, Luci."

  Luci considered my statement for a moment, cocking her head to one side. Her eyes bore into mine, gazing into my soul. "Then the only other alternative is for you to tell me a secret." Luci's eyes glinted in the moonlight, something primal, dark, stirred inside of her, and I was helpless to stop the gravitational pull this woman had over me so completely.

  "Deal," I pulled Luci flush against me, before raising my arms as Luci tugged at the hem of my shirt. A lingering sliver of modesty told me that I should be ashamed to sit on a table in the middle of my employer's hallway stark naked a
s said employer sank her teeth into the spongy flesh of my left breast. I cried out against the delicious burning left behind; I could not be certain if pleasure or pain had called the sound from my throat but I briefly prayed for the sensations to never end.

  "Tell me," Luci prompted before taking my hardened nipple into her mouth again. Her warm, wet tongue stole any coherent thought, and I fought helplessly through the haze to comprehend her words.

  A throaty sigh escaped my mouth as my hands reached for the flimsy hem of Luci's shirt. "Later," I pleaded, pulling on the garment. "I'll tell you later."

  "No," Luci said and grabbed at my hands before they could pull her tank top above her belly button.

  "Really?" I stared incredulously at this mutilated angel, my tone begged for the woman to continue her ministrations because no amount of self-pleasuring would ever satisfy me now, not after I'd felt her touch. This was becoming more tedious than originally anticipated; I knew Luci was a peculiar sort of woman, but this was edging into ridiculous. "You want me to tell you a secret now?"

  "Yes, and I want you to leave my clothes in place." I would have laughed at that statement were it not for the serious, even tone of Luci's voice.

  "No," I stated defiantly. I knew Luci hid more scars beneath her clothes and I wanted to kiss each and everyone until whatever evil memory she associated with them disappeared. "If you want me to spout secrets while you fuck me, then I want to feel your skin. I want to see you." I crossed my arms over my chest, emphasizing my resolve as much as I could while sitting naked on a table in the middle of a hallway.

  "Perhaps we should stop, then," Luci whispered, dropping her hands to her sides. Her voice had dipped dangerously low, warning rather than stating a fact. Damn that voice, that beautiful silky voice. Even when Luci was pissed, her voice was beautiful.

  "Luci, come on. Be reasonable." My voice didn't sound like my own. It sounded desperate, pleading, full of emotion, and had I hindsight during this moment, I would have realized that Luci made me feel exactly as I had made all of my previous sexual partners feel, pining for a connection that might never be possible. I felt the ache welling, physically collapsing my chest upon itself, like a well-landed punch to the sternum, and I finally realized that what I was feeling was fear. Of what I couldn't be certain, not until I'd had time to reevaluate my relationship with the elegant heiress. Disappointing Luci? Loving Luci? Losing Luci? Luci herself? I did know, however, that I wanted to make love to her, even if it meant I had to play her twisted games. I didn't want to leave her broken like so many men who had fallen into my trap.