by Jack Parker
"I'm perfectly reasonable. I also create the rules to this little game that you wanted to play." She turned to leave, but I quickly hopped from the table and followed her into the darkness of the hallway away.
"Luci, wait." She froze, waiting. I placed my hands on her glowing pale shoulders and pressed a kiss on the back of her neck. I felt a tremor beneath my hands and realized that she was as scared of this as I was, this connection between us. It wasn't quite love we felt, but something so much deeper. A completeness that most people never dreamed of feeling, utter submission and domination at the same time, an unexplainable bond of the soul. I traced my fingertips down her arms, feeling my arousal grow with each bump of her scars beneath them. I pressed my lips to her shoulder, grinning when I felt her body shudder against mine. The cotton of her camisole scratched my nipples, and I sighed with her. Her resolve weakened; I felt it.
"Enough!" She swatted my searching hands from her arms, expertly twisting each of them behind my back again.
My face collided with the wall beside the window, temporarily disabling my thought processes. Before I could even ask Luci to stop, a moan bubbled from my chest as three of Luci's long pianist fingers slipped easily inside me through the wetness. Pain vibrated from my shoulders with each thrust from the awkward position in which Luci had pinned my arms. Again, I felt the panic rising, constricting my chest, my breath, but this time the pleasure it mingled with became too strong to fight. Never before had I been so terrified and aroused at the same time, so helplessly, so passionately, and my body ached for so much more even though my mind wanted the sensations to stop.
"Tell me and I will take you back to my room," Luci encouraged into my ear, sending tendrils of arousal through my fingertips.
I panted into the old wood, my body betraying me by taking pleasure in my mind's torment. Part of my attraction to Luci stemmed from the challenge she presented. Not only did she require more effort than anyone I'd ever met to figure out, she pushed me beyond my boundaries, demanded my secrets, and opened my mind to new thoughts and experiences. She dangled just enough of herself in front of me to make me want more, just like I'd done to those men I had shut down after finding sexual release. I knew the game she played, yet my resolve weakened with each thrust of her fingers. If I told her, then she had won, had made me a slave to her purpose. I didn't care. I needed to touch her, see her.
"I lost my virginity here," I gasped out and whimpered when she stopped mid-stroke.
"Where?" She strained into my ear, clearly not as in control of herself as she believed. Her excitement at my submission had fueled her arousal, and I prayed that I could reclaim an equal footing in this situation. Her fingers moved slowly within me, drawing out my secret with each languorous stroke of my already clenching muscles.
"Outside." I bit my lip when her fingers left, not willing to satisfy her further with my desperation for her touch. "Against the front door. I was 12," I finished quickly, not trusting my voice to contain my urgent need for her to be inside me again. The confession left me raw, exposed, because I knew exactly what happened next. We would push and pull at each other until she destroyed me, but one night with her would have to sustain me for the rest of my life.
Luci released my arms and waited impatiently for me to turn and face her. She stared at me for a long time before reaching gently though the tension and brushing an errant strand of hair from my eyes. I gasped when realized that Luci's eyes held the same lustful desperation as my own; Luci Pravitas wanted me, needed my touch. I had claimed this elegant woman as my own without ever leaving a physical trace. Luci's emotions, perhaps her entire mental wellbeing had been unwillingly placed in my inexperienced hands, and Luci, aware of this, had denied that truth for the past few months, unsure of what course of action she should take.
Tonight would not be the last time I touched Luci Pravitas. I realized in that moment that she needed me as much as I needed her. As much as I craved her body and soul, I knew that my rejection would have shattered her. That feeling of domination didn't satisfy me as much as I thought it should, not like these exact moments of realization with my previous lovers, and I tenderly grasped her hands. She resisted when I pulled her towards her room, and I stopped, seeking frantically for the words to alleviate her fear.
I let go of one of her hands and slipped my fingers through her hair. I stepped against her again, ignoring my screaming body as it pressed against hers, and allowed her to see the vulnerability and fear in my own eyes, barely visibly away from the moonlight streaming through the window. My eyes danced back and forth, searching hers, begging her to trust me completely before they flicked to the scars on her neck and shoulders.
"It's okay," I promised when realization of what I was about to do flickered in her eyes, followed by a panic that mirrored my own only minutes earlier. Tears filled her eyes, surprising me, and her muscles tightened, fighting the urge to run, and I figured that was the only permission she'd ever give me.
Her grip on my hand tightened when I pressed against the side of her head with two fingertips. She resisted momentarily and then allowed her neck to lean towards her shoulder, granting unfettered access to the scars there. My eyes met hers briefly before I leaned forward and pressed my lips to one jagged line. Her chest shook beneath my lips as she released the wet, ragged breath she'd been holding. I turned my eyes upward as I pulled away from her skin. A silent tear glistened on her cheek, but her eyes were squeezed shut tightly.
I knelt before her and retrieved my discarded clothing, and she opened her eyes, allowing more tears to spill over her cheeks. My god, this woman defined the word beautiful. I tugged her hand again when I stood, and she followed silently. I walked backwards, terrified of what would happen if I broke eye contact. When I reached Luci's door, I groped for the door knob awkwardly with the hand holding my clothes, not willing to relinquish my grip on her hand. Finally, the door opened silently with a burst of cool air. She'd left her windows open, and the room had become too chilly in the cool August night air. One bedside lamp finally illuminated us, pulling Luci from the emotional prison of her mind.
She turned from me and closed the door, never releasing her death grip on my hand. She stepped against me slowly, unsure of herself now that I'd seen her tears in the light. She never wiped them away, though, allowing me full access to her vulnerabilities, something I never thought would happen.
I let go of her hand and gripped her hips, wanting every inch of her lithe body pressed against me. I rested my temple against her cheek and slid my hands beneath her shirt. Her arms stayed limp at her sides even though her shoulders knotted with tension, the only physical evidence of the ongoing war in her mind. My lips fell against her shoulder, and it drooped as the muscles relaxed. My hands instinctively moved upwards, the hem of her shirt hooked under my thumbs. I suppressed a gasp when my palms slipped over bump after bump of scarred flesh, but Luci's would not be held inside. She panted with the effort of maintaining control of her emotions.
I pulled away and studied her tormented face, eyes shut and teeth gnawing anxiously at her bottom lip. I tugged gently when the flimsy fabric slipped over her breasts, and her arms lifted obediently like a marionette. I dropped the camisole beside me as my eyes trailed down her torso. All of her scars started at the center of her chest and stomach and swooped downwards, creating tiger-like stripes across her body. I immediately adored them.
"Lauren?" Luci questioned, the lingering moment absent of my touch worrying her.
More tears slipped down her cheeks, and her hands jerked towards her body, seeking to cover herself. I caught her by the wrists and pulled her against me, securing her in place with my arms around her back. I cried with her, not because of her tragedy as she may have believed but because I'd never been so honored before. She trusted me, and I would never betray her.
"Don't hide your scars anymore, Luci," I whispered into her ear.
"They're hideous, Lauren," she buried her face into my neck and slipped her a
rms around my waist. "A hideous reminder," she added through her tears.
I struggled to remain lucid against the sensation of our bare breasts pressing together in the embrace. Though Luci was aroused, she'd been with women before, and the sensations had not caught her so completely off guard as they had me. A heady wave of dizziness distracted me momentarily when the throbbing between my legs returned. I silently willed my body to behave properly to no avail. I didn't ask what they reminded her of; she'd been through enough painful memories tonight. Perhaps my body already knew the proper course of actions to take and was screaming at me to follow it. I only needed to touch her, all of her, to chase away whatever demons she was fighting, to vanquish her insecurities. I pulled away slightly to look into her eyes.
"They are gorgeous, Luci." I waited for her to lift her eyes to mine again. "They aren't anything but a part of you. Unique. Like you." She listened, maybe even believed me. "You should wear them proudly. Stop letting them wear you."
A hint of a smile reached her eyes, but she commented no further on the subject of her scars. Instead, she pressed her lips against mine again, tentatively at first. They grew in vigor as I responded, and I suddenly felt myself being pushed onto her soft comforter. I licked my lips in anticipation as she stood before me and let me watch her finish undressing, her eyes never leaving mine as they raked across her body. I thought my chest would explode when her pants slipped below her waist, revealing nothing but perfectly smooth, pale skin. Her lack of hair both surprised me and seemed completely natural for Luci.
Any thought on the subject disappeared when she crawled up the length of my body and lowered herself against me. The explosion of sensations deafened me. Nothing could have prepared me for the experience of having another woman pressed against me like this, or maybe it was just Luci who made me feel this way. I was being ripped apart from the inside out, and when her thigh slipped between mine and rubbed against me, I pushed her at her shoulders violently.
"Lauren?" Her tone was confused, but her eyes were concerned. She hovered above me, unmoving, her thigh still pressed against my slick center.
"I'm sorry," I panted.
"It's quite alright, Darling. Tell me what happened." She lowered herself onto her elbows and rested her palms on my hair.
"I've just never done this before," I confided.
"What's that? Pleasured a woman," she teased, though I saw her own fears dancing in her eyes at the statement.
"Well, there's that, but it's not what I meant." I rolled my eyes and looked down at our bodies pressed together, becoming immediately addicted to the sight of them in this position. "I've never had sex with someone I cared for," I mumbled as I traced a scar on her chest near her right collar bone.
Luci tensed momentarily and then relaxed into my touch. She smiled and kissed me again. "I've never allowed anyone to see my scars completely uncovered," she whispered as she pulled back, her lips brushing mine as she comforted me with admission of her own vulnerability.
Those were the last words spoken before she was inside me again, gentler but no less passionate. My body's natural reactions to her surprised me. I always imagined an orgasm powerful enough to leave me limp afterwards would be accompanied by pain and some sort of loud scream torn from my throat, but only soft sighs and throaty moans filled her room that night. My brain never processed who had made the sounds. It didn't matter.
Luci buried her fist in my hair and pulled my head back as her body stiffened with release. I never tired of watching her, and this moment was no exception. Instead of the usual rush of power I felt with previous lovers in this moment, the only thing I wanted was to hold the beautiful woman beneath me in my arms and watch her slowly return to reality. When her body relaxed, I began my ascent to her lips, stopping to kiss each of her scars along the way before finally reaching my goal. Her body shuddered beneath my mouth, and tears leaked from her eyes by the time I reached her neck. Our kiss connected, and she clutched at my back with her hands and pulled me into her heated body.
The residual adrenaline faded quickly, and our kisses slowed to a gentle meshing of our lips over and over a thousand times before she finally rested her head completely against the bed. I pressed my hands into the bed in an attempt to lever myself off of her, but her hands grabbed at my back again.
"Stay with me tonight," she pleaded, and I was powerless to do anything but nod.
Satisfied that I would not leave her side, she released me. I pulled the covers from beneath her and waited until she had situated her head comfortably on the pillows. I settled beside her and covered us. She surprised me further when she held her arm out and looked at me expectantly with those blue eyes glazed with endorphins and sleepiness. I swallowed roughly and studied her face for a moment before pressing our naked bodies together once more and resting my head in the crook of her shoulder. I wiggled until my body felt comfortable with a leg thrown over her thigh and my ankle tucked around her calf. My right arm was trapped between us, and I wrapped it around my stomach while my left hand found a home between her breasts. I'd never lain with anyone like this before, but I found comfort in the warmth of her body, the intimacy of the position. I felt safe, protected, and I knew that I would never leave that feeling, never leave her side.
I listened to her heartbeat slow as sleep claimed her. I traced the scars nearest my fingers and prayed that tomorrow would not bring an end to whatever this new development in our relationship was. My questions outnumbered my answers after the events of the night, most prominent being the secret that had upset Berta and Luci's scars. They had been simply a part of her until tonight, but now I knew why she covered them. The mere thought of them conjured a memory so painful that she had not been able to properly accept it as reality. 'A hideous reminder,' she'd said. A reminder of what was the last thought that flitted through my mind before I joined my new lover in the world of dreams.
CHAPTER 19
I awoke to an empty bed and instantly realized it was not my own. The events of the previous night rushed back to me, and I felt a silly smile spread on my lips as a giddiness rose in my chest. I stretched and giggled, reveling in the scent of Luci Pravitas surrounding me. I sat up slowly and held the sheet to my chest against the slight morning chill, smile permanently fixed on my face. It wasn't the sex. I'd had mind-blowing orgasms before, but the morning after never felt like this, and then there was her. She was the reason my soul felt so light. Before when I was with someone, it always felt like my body and emotions were two completely separate entities. She'd forged them together last night, made me whole. I was ruined and didn't care one bit.
I looked around the room for any sign of her whereabouts. Her discarded sleeping clothes lay beside the bed where we'd left them last night, but nothing else was misplaced. My smile widened painfully when I saw that stainless steel thermos on her nightstand, a note beneath it. I rolled to the side of the bed she'd slept in and leaned against the headboard as I reached for the coffee and note. I popped the lid and took a sip, surprised when the milky liquid burned my mouth. She'd been here no more than ten minutes ago. I left the lid open, returned the thermos to the nightstand, and unfolded the note. I traced my finger over Luci's elegant script as I read.
"Darling, Last night was wonderful. Thank you. I have gone to my office. Take your time and come down when you are ready. Luci."
Her thoughtfulness turned my chest into a gooey mess. She hadn't wanted me to worry when I woke up and found her gone. I swung the covers off my body, scrambled into my pajamas, and snagged my coffee. I visited my room long enough to change into blue jeans and a t-shirt and pull on my tennis shoes. I nearly tripped down the stairs in my haste to get to Luci's office. I nearly tripped again when I saw what she was wearing. Her pants were hidden beneath her huge Oak desk, but I noticed immediately that the t-shirt she wore was one of the new 100% cotton v-necks from my closet. I smiled and leaned against the door frame and watched her as she worked out another contract, head bent over the paper and
eyebrows knitted together in determination. Her scars glinted in the bright sunlight, exposed.
"Slumming it up today?" I teased. She jerked her head up in surprise, and I nearly laughed at the ink streaked on her face near her temple. Her eyes softened when she realized it was me who had startled her.
"Good morning, Darling." She rounded the desk quickly and met me in the center of the room. We hesitated once we'd reach each other, but she recovered more quickly than I. She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine, and I gripped her hip with my free hand possessively. She smiled into the kiss and then pulled back.
"Did you sleep well, Love?" She tucked some hair behind my ear and left her hand on my cheek. I nodded, unable to form words through my happiness.
I wanted to kiss her again, so I did. I was forced to stand on my toes in order to reach her lips, and she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me tightly against her body as our kiss deepened. The thermos slipped out of my hand and clanked against the floor, ignored by both of us. I wrapped my arms around her neck as the same arousal I'd felt last night pooled in my jeans and coiled the muscles in my belly. Luci Pravitas would be the death of me for sure. I broke the kiss before I lost control of my senses, but her fingertips playing against the skin on my lower back tempted me to throw caution to the wind.
