by Jack Parker
Her gaze faltered to my lips momentarily and then back to my eyes. Her jaw muscle jumped as she restrained her thoughts or actions and stepped away from me. I followed. I didn't mean to, but I wasn't ready to leave the warmth of her wet embrace. She closed her eyes tightly and breathed through her nose. She was controlling herself, and I hated it. I wanted my Luci back, my uncontrolled, passionate, bold Luci and to hell with the consequences. I kissed her lightly, a ghost of lips brushing against one another. Her fingers flexed and released my arms, and something sparked in my chest, warmth, love. I jerked away, but her tight grip on my arms crushed my lips against hers. My chest and libido exploded with warmth.
"Luci?" She responded with a hum against my temple. "I want to know how my father died." She allowed me enough space to look into her eyes but still held me tightly against uncomfortably thin body. "Did he suffer?"
"Yes." My breath caught in my throat and choked me. Her honesty shocked me, though it shouldn't have. She promised the day she revealed the truth to answer all of my questions honestly.
The horse beneath Luci splashed through the river with gentle swooshes. He railed against the idea at first, but Luci whispered into his ear, told him how important his role was in her mission. He whinnied and tossed his black mane at her face but ultimately obeyed her tender request. He gratefully stopped when she pulled on the reigns and dipped his head towards the greens on the riverbank. Luci slid from the loyal accomplish silently and pulled the saddlebags onto her shoulder before tossing the reigns over a nearby branch and patting his neck affectionately.
Her soft-soled flats barely marked the forest floor beneath the leaves and twigs as she moved silently across the damp cushion, the river her only guide. She'd left her horse to graze nearly a quarter of a mile from her intended destination for fear of him being discovered and harmed due to her actions. When the house came into view, she dropped the bag to the ground and quickly slipped into red stilettos, the pair she'd worn the first day she set eyes on the daughter of the man she meant to kill that night.
He made it so very easy. Finding the back door unlocked, she slipped in and grinned at the tiny holes left in the soft dirt outside the house. The only evidence carefully planted, just enough to thrill her with the thought of being caught. She entered the living room unseen in the darkness, the flashes of television her only guide. He jumped when she lit the cigarette taken from Lauren's pack, and she answered his confusion with a smirk.
"Are you prepared to feel the pain of all you've done, Mr. Danes?"
"Stop. Did you burn him with the cigarette?" I wasn't sure I'd stomach the rest of her tale without puking.
"Yes," she answered breathily. "I spent quite some time with that particular mode of torture. He eventually passed out from pain. In that state, strangling the life from him came as easily as covering his mouth and nose gently with my hands. I almost wish he'd been awake, to feel the same sort of fear and panic he must have caused you. I lit another cigarette and caught the comforter on fire and waited until the it had consumed most of the bedroom before leaving." Her eyes glazed with the thought and slipped shut. Nails pressed little crescent indentations into my waist from the effort of controlling the heady rush of desire the memory ignited within her. I'd never wanted someone so much in my life.
"Teach me." I kissed her again. She released a ragged breath through her lips, but her eyes remain closed. "Teach me." I pressed against her and guided her beneath the warm spray again. My shirt and jeans were soaked instantly, but I didn't care. I trapped her between my body and the shower wall and peppered kisses across her collarbone. I needed her to show me how to protect Lilly. I needed her to need me again. Without her, I felt nothing, and I could bear it no longer. She was still my light in the darkness, even if she was the darkness.
"Show me how to protect her." She was right. Some people didn't deserve to live, and I needed to accept that if I wanted to find my place in this world. With her. At her side, always.
She came alive beneath my touch and flipped our position so quickly that my breath caught in my chest when she slammed my shoulders into the wall. Her clear blue eyes bore into my green, seeing through me, and I froze, waiting. She was teaching, and I needed to find the lesson before I reacted. Control. She was waiting for me to take control. I smirked and grabbed her wrists, twisting them behind her back. I always was a hands-on learner. She gasped when I bucked away from the wall and pushed her beneath the spray. I'd missed her soft skin under my fingertips.
My belly tingled when I turned her in my arms and pressed her chest into the wall beneath the spray. I thought I might pass out from the heady rush of adrenaline and supremacy that surged through my body when I slid inside her. I could feel again. I felt her, all over me. Inside my mind, in my heart and chest. It zinged straight to the pit of my belly, and as she flew higher and higher, I followed. I allowed the undeniable arousal of power over another human being slide through my fingertips, my mind, my body. Take the power, the control, and leave the victim with an overwhelming sense of pleasure to disguise the loss of free will. That's what she had done to me, and I was good at it, very good. She fell over the edge, but I pulled myself back before I joined her.
I released her arms, and she faced me with glazed eyes and a satisfied grin. She'd enjoyed that as much as I. I unbuttoned my jeans and then pushed down on her shoulders. She sank willingly to her knees and peeled the wet fabric from my body. I never in a million years would have dreamed that Luci Pravitas would submit to another human being, but here she was, on her knees, silently obeying my commands.
"Stop." Her misty eyes turned upward as her shaking fingers clutched at my thighs. "Finish your shower." She smiled, a real full smile. I'd passed her first test and had been rewarded with the third full smile I'd ever seen her wear.
"Well done, Darling." I pulled her to her feet, and she wrapped her arms around me for support. She leaned her lips close to my ear. "Don't become consumed, or it shall be your undoing."
Control the power, don't let the power control you. That's why I'd never felt completely satisfied with the men I'd been with before Luci. It wasn't because she was a woman, and they were men. She understood me on the deepest level, challenged me. She was the only person on this earth I respected enough to submit to, not because it was required but because she had to tear me down in order to build me up stronger than I was before.
"Luci, I have one question." She nodded against my temple. "Do you love me or did you just love having power over me? Was I just a challenge?" She chuckled and pulled back.
"You were… everything I'd hoped you'd be. If you're asking if you fill the emptiness inside of me, then the answer is yes. I suspect that you have that same gaping void in your chest but never realized it until I filled it. We are the same, Lauren, and I love you as I love myself because we are one. You shall be my greatest achievement." She brushed wet hair from my forehead and traced my scar with her thumb.
"The day he did this was the day I realized that you would be mine to mould and sculpt." I should have been frightened by her words. I should have run screaming and called the police, but I didn't. I wanted to be hers. From the moment I first set eyes on her, I knew she was different from the rest of the world and I wanted her to consume me.
"I'm going to change my clothes." She grabbed my arm, and I froze. Her eyes bore into mine and my body slowly reacted to her silent request.
"Stay." She whispered, but it wasn't a command just a simple statement of what she wanted. We were equals.
I raised my arms and she pulled the soaked shirt over my head and tossed it onto the bathroom floor and then kicked my jeans from the shower. Her lips descended upon mine in slow motion. Everything seemed so slow, so right. I sighed into her touch as her lips breathed life into my soul. Her touch revived the dead monotony of numbness that had been my heart from the moment I left her. The jagged bumps of her scars beneath my fingertips blazed a trail straight to the pit of my stomach. I loved them, the physical
representation of the ugly disease inside her mind and soul. We were the same, damaged but not broken, alive but dead to societal nuances that prevented true goodness. Love was messy, but goodness and innocence lasted forever if someone, like Luci, willingly stood and fought for it. Like me. She offered our soul as sacrifice to save the innocents of this world, and now asked me to inherit that burdensome throne. I wanted it. I wanted her.
I bit into her shoulder as I fell over the edge, and she sighed into the pain and slammed me against the bathroom wall. Adrenaline surged through my body and my lungs collapsed under the force of her hands. Plastic bottles tumbled from the shelf and clattered to the shower floor. I gasped against her chest and trusted her to hold me upright as I regained my bearings. Had I hit my head, too? She shuddered against me as she wrestled for control of her emotions. Her head fell against my shoulder and we panted together as the world rushed around us again.
"I'm sorry, Lauren," she whispered, and I pulled her head up until our eyes connected again.
"For what?" Something dark glinted behind her eyes, and I watched it settle there as Luci revealed her true self to me.
"I like causing you pain," she confessed, and adrenaline pulled through my stomach again. This woman didn't even have to try to turn me on. I crushed her bruised lips against mine and then flipped our positions on the wall. I lowered my mouth to her breast, and she sagged against the wall as sensation exploded inside of her. I grinned and clamped my teeth around the supple flesh. A sound I'd never heard from her lips filled the small bathroom, a cross between a cry of surprise and a moan. I pulled at the skin with my teeth and then released it. Already angry red and purple marks marred the alabaster breast. A thin scar ran through the center of my teeth imprint, and I traced a finger over it.
"I can take it," I whispered against her neck, and her body shook against mine.
She brushed my wet hair from my face and half-smiled. Lazily, her hand reached for the bottle of shampoo and squeezed some onto my head. I hummed as her skilled fingers worked the lather through my thick tresses and repeated the same motion on her head as I allowed the spray to wash the soapy substance from my hair. Conditioner came next, and then body wash. My eyes rolled into my head at the new sensations of someone else cleaning my body, but we had work to do and Lilly wouldn't sleep forever. So, I reluctantly shut off the now cold water and forced myself from the shower. I tossed a towel at Luci and then dried myself and secured the damp towel around my body.
"Dress, Darling, and then we shall concoct a solution to this nuisance." I nodded and slipped from the bathroom, feeling cleaner than I ever had since the day I lost my virginity.
She followed me to the bedroom, and we left our mark upon every surface. A damp outline of my hair against the wall where she pounded into me so roughly that my entire body jumped upwards with each thrust. The muted thumps of an alarm clock and lamp finding the floor when I pushed her against the night stand, and she screamed my name in a strangled cry around my tight fingers that limited her air supply. A rug burn on my thigh. Nail tracks across her ribs and those delicious tiger stripe scars.
She was mine.
CHAPTER 25
I thought I would feel sick or guilty, but I never did. Every time Lilly moaned in pain, I remembered why I plotted such a heinous crime, and a sense of peace, calm, determination overcame any other emotion. Far worse acts had been committed to bring my sister to the place she was now. He deserved to die. I sipped coffee and listened to Luci's well laid plan. She'd done this more than a few times; I wondered exactly how many.
"Luci, how many people have you killed?" I asked curiously, almost absently as I hadn't expected an answer.
"I suppose I have averaged at least two or three a year since Cindy," she answered after a pensive pause to properly consider the question.
"That was twenty-five years ago." She nodded and sipped her tea nonchalantly.
"I suppose. I imagine the number to be higher, but that also is one of the reasons I prefer to live away from others. I generally contract them under my employment for several months before I relieve them of their burden, but occasionally someone of import comes along. Do you remember the young woman from Carmona's, Cara?" I nodded. "She lived with her parents and was working her way through university, but not to save on expenses. Her father had been raping her since she was twelve. It required a modicum of patience, but I eventually learned his schedule, part of the reason I traveled into the city every evening. It's amazing how undetectable and effective a syringe filled with poison that simulates a heart attack and a crowded area can be. I rarely help someone who is very close to me. It's too messy, as you discovered with your father, but if the reward merits the struggle, it is a risk you must be willing to take. Like helping your sister." She sipped her tea and sighed as the warmth filled her throat.
"We must go visit Cara soon," she commented absently, lost in her own thoughts.
"I thought serial killers stuck to one method once they found what worked for them?"
She grinned and sighed into another gulp of tea. "I am not your typical serial killer. I'm not a sociopath, Lauren. I feel guilt and remorse to an extent. I simply am convicted to my cause and carefully target those who truly don't deserve their lives."
"How do you get away with it when one of your closest and oldest friends is a lawyer? I mean, Katherine is smart, and I'm sure you've needed her assistance more than once for stuff like this." She smirked and waved her hand.
"How do you think she became my family's lawyer?" My eyes widened with the admission. Katherine had known the whole time. She knew exactly who Luci was and what she did with her spare time.
"I think I'm going to go lay down for a bit." My mind needed time to adjust to this new wealth of information, and I needed to decide if this truly was the best option for me. Once I killed Andre, there would be nothing of my old self to reclaim. This Lauren would be dead, and a new Lauren would see the sunrise tomorrow. A better Lauren. Stronger and united with the one person who understood her.
"I'll watch over Lilly, Darling."
I tossed and twisted beneath the covers of my temporary bed until finally I dozed into a restless sleep. Who would I be when I awoke?
Luci's gentle voice and warm hands pulled me from my fitful slumber. "Darling, it's time." I rubbed my eyes. I thought perhaps sleep would bring a different light to my feelings, but as I gazed into Luci's concerned blue eyes, I knew I was exactly where I belonged, at her side. Sleep hadn't changed my mind but brought clarity to my position in this world. Luci's burden would become my own this night.
"Did you find a rehab center?" She nodded and sat on the edge of the bed.
"I did. It is in D.C. I estimate a 45 minute drive both ways. Are you prepared for the first phase?" I sat up and rolled my head side to side, sighing as my neck popped.
"Yeah, let me take something first." She held out her hand and presented four little pinkish brown pills. I gathered the spit under my tongue and swallowed them down. It wouldn't stop me from feeling pain, but it would be dulled.
"Are you certain you can complete the rest, Darling?" I nodded.
"Let's just get this over with." I stood and crossed my arms over my chest. Luci took a defensive stance in front of me and searched my eyes.
"Not all will require this, I assure you, but you must work with what you've been given. I have sent the text message from her phone already, so we must do this quickly." I nodded again.
"I trust you. Give me your best shot." And she did.
My head whipped to the side as her punch split my lip. The pain wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated and readied myself for another blow. I yelled when the next blow broke my nose. My eyes watered and I leaned over to compensate for the pain. That was worst than I thought, but it should be enough. I raised my arms, disappointed that my hands were shaking. I hissed when her knuckles slammed into my ribs but didn't move. She repeated the motion two more times, not holding back at all. I wheezed and coughed after the
third blow, and she stopped.
"That's enough, Darling. Hold on, I've one more spot." She swung before I prepared myself, and I fell off balance as my brains rattled. I already felt the bruise forming around my eye socket.
"There. Call me when you've finished. Remember, he must be lured into the house. Otherwise, a dead body in front of the door would appear suspicious, and he must touch the knife beforehand. It must contain both his and your blood, but yours must come first."
"Luci, we've been over this a hundred times. I've got it. You just keep my sister safe." She nodded.
"I know, Lauren. I'm only concerned for your wellbeing, but I can do no more to assist you. Stay here while I collect Lilly. She needn't be involved in this anymore than she has been. I will see her safely to her rehabilitation center." I wanted to kiss her, to touch her, but I didn't want to spread my blood around and force her to change again. I nodded and held her extended gaze for as long as she offered it.
The condo was dark, only a lamp illuminated the living room. I tried to feel excited or scared, but all I felt was calm. I knew I was doing the right thing. Luci had taught me how to protect the world, and it was a responsibility I held close to my heart. She'd look after Lilly while I completed the mission, and then she'd come back to me, proud. A knock sounded through the house, and my heart began pounding. This was it, the moment I would become complete, destined.
"Come in." I called across the room and tightened my grip on the knife.
"Lauren, I brought Chinese tonight. I hope that's okay." Jason? It was Monday.
"Jason! You have to get out of here now!" I yelled at him. Why was he here now?
"What the hell happened to your face?" He sat the brown paper bag on the coffee table and rounded the sofa.
