DEADLY HOPE a gripping detective mystery full of twists and turns

by Jack Parker

"Luci, I want to go home." My mind had never been so clear before this moment. I was built for this life. I was designed to be at Luci's side, and to deny that would be defying my destiny, my entire purpose for existing.

  "To Carver?" The excitement in her voice sparked joy in my chest. She was so childlike at times that I forgot she'd been damaged beyond repair by her life.

  "To Carver."

  CHAPTER 26

  I awoke Halloween morning with a strange sense of excitement. Today would be different than most, I felt it. Nearly two months had passed since I'd taken Andre's life, and every day I found myself becoming more and more at peace with the decision. Luci helped me understand why he'd needed to die, and I believed her. The first week after my surgery had been the worst. I cried most of the time, and slept when I wasn't crying. I mourned Jason's death and I mourned the fact that I had become what I had feared the most, a heartless monster, but Luci made me understand that I'd done the world a favor. I wasn't a monster, never have been; some people were made to sacrifice their own blissful ignorance for true justice and for the greater good of humanity. I believed her. Her words had become my only comfort, my gospel. She was the only thing I had left, and if I abandoned my hope in our bond and our destiny now, I'd be lost, forever doomed to exist as a ghost in this world.

  I rolled over to find our bed empty and shook my head as I sat up. I knew a note would be on the nightstand along with a thermos of coffee and maybe a scone. I'd barely been allowed to lift a finger during my recovery, and before I met Luci, I probably would have found the insinuation that I was helpless incredibly offensive. Now, I allowed myself to fall more and more in love with her with every gesture. Well, our idea of love, anyway. We completed each other, complimented each other in a way I'd never thought possible. Teacher and student had become equal. I'd found my place in the world at her side, in her destiny. She may never love me back in the traditional manner but she had chosen me, and that was good enough.

  I squinted at the note as I drank the coffee and nearly spit it out when I read the words. She wanted me to put on riding boots and pants? I glanced around the room and located the items on the wooden desk chair. I had only begun physical therapy two weeks ago after my second surgery, and she wanted to teach me how to ride a horse. I grinned and shook my head. Of course she did; otherwise, she wouldn't be Luci. I resigned myself to the task and slipped into the pants. They fit perfectly and were more comfortable than I had anticipated.

  I struggled with the button for a moment and then gave up. My hand still didn't work properly from being stabbed, but I was assured by my physical therapist that I would regain all abilities with time. My first day of physical therapy, Luci pulled into a Toyota dealership on the way out of Ellie Hill and told me to pick whatever I wanted. Unfortunately, since her car was a standard, I'd need an automatic if I were to become independent again. I slipped into the boots easily and then thumped to the window. My shiny dark blue Toyota Tacoma sat next to Luci's black sedan in the driveway, and I smiled before I returned to the extremely difficult task of dressing myself. I grabbed the button-up shirt she'd left with the pants, pulled it up my healing arm gently and then fumbled with the other sleeve. I stared at the buttons and sighed before I grabbed my coffee and arm sling and headed towards Luci's office. She laughed when set eyes on my unbuttoned shirt and pants.

  "Don't laugh. Help me." I tried to thwart the giggle that bubbled from my throat at her amusement and failed.

  "Good morning, Darling." She whispered into my ear as she buttoned the pants. I shivered. I'd known Luci for six months and been her lover for half that, and her voice still melted me into a puddle of goo when she whispered into my ear.

  "Hello to you too. So, riding? You want to teach me riding now?" I questioned the ridiculousness of the suggestion as she slid my arm through the sling and adjusted it for comfort.

  "Of course. You may ride behind me if you wish. It generally teaches the horse bad habits, but Dodger has been with me for years now and should handle the change gracefully." She pulled my hair from its elastic prison and untangled the worst of the knots with her warm fingers before securing it once more.

  "There. You look a picture, Darling. Are you ready?" Excitement flared in her eyes, and I shook my head.

  "You mean you want to go right now." I'd barely woken up and definitely had not consumed enough coffee yet to keep up with her.

  "Of course. Katherine is due to arrive by noon, and I will be occupied with her until this evening, I am sure. I want to spend this morning teaching you my absolute favorite activity in the world." I just knew today would be full of surprises.

  "Okay, but I'm taking my coffee?"

  "Of course." She led me to the door with an arm around my waist and then held the heavy wood as I passed the threshold.

  "I must warn you about Cal, Darling. He is very shy around people. He loathes loud noises and sudden movements. His older brother was quite the tormentor when they were children, and he has been conditioned to fear everyone. Please, bear this in mind while we are at the stables." She pointed in the distance at the large structure rising before us. I can't believe I'd never been to see the horses before today.

  "Okay." I agreed and swigged the rest of my coffee. She remained silent as we approached, and I followed her lead. She set a reminding gaze upon me before entering the stables.

  "Good morning, Cal." She whispered gently. I doubted anyone could have heard her soft voice, but a young man poked his head around the door of one of the stalls and nodded. He was young, probably my age. His tanned face was covered in acne, and his dirty blonde hair appeared to have been neglected for weeks. He would have dread locks soon.

  "Hi Luci. You're early today." He glanced nervously at me and then disappeared into the stall again.

  "Indeed. Unfortunately, I have an affair this afternoon that shall keep me from my ride." She guided me to the open stall but stood near the opposite wall. She didn't want him to feel trapped, I supposed.

  "Cal, this is Lauren. She cannot ride alone due to her injuries, but I would like to teach her to ride and care for Dodger this morning, if that is all right by you." I looked up at Luci in shock. Since when did she ask permission to do anything, especially with her own property?

  "Sure. Want me to saddle him for you?" He was genuinely eager to help but stayed near the back corner of the stall.

  "That's fine. I shall visit with Othello while you work." She turned from the young man and ushered me to the next stall where a pure black stallion munched happily on some oats. I giggled.

  "Something amusing, Darling?" She queried absently as she opened the stall door.

  "Where's Iago?" Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What? I've read Shakespeare. Not well, but I've read it. Frankly, I find him wordy and full of crap, but I like his tragedies." I divulged, and Luci chuckled once and shook her head slowly.

  "You are marvelously refreshing. Has anyone ever told you that?" She pulled on my good arm, and I stepped beside the horse.

  "Only you, though I have been told that I am abrasive and crude by many."

  I leaned into her as she settled her body behind mine and guided my arm towards the wiry hair on the horse's neck. I stiffened when he turned his head towards the contact, but Luci held my arm in place.

  "Easy, Love. Let him smell you. He needs to get to know you before he can trust you. Isn't that right, Othello? Relax. You are perfectly safe." I followed her instructions and released a long soothing breath.

  "I could use a cigarette." She clicked her tongue in my ear, and I smiled.

  "It's been a month since you've sucked on those ash sticks. Your mind is only playing tricks." She leaned closer, her lips brushing the shell of my ear. "Though I do fantasize at times."

  "Oh? About?" My god, I loved this woman and what she did to me.

  "Do you remember during the summer when you and David returned from laying stones on your path to the river?" I nodded. "Well, I watched you sometimes from my study. You were
always sweaty and dirty. You'd jump over the side of the truck bed in that black tank top that clung to your body even more when it was slick with sweat." Her free left hand slid over my hip, and the muscles in my stomach clenched.

  "Your jeans had slid lower while you were working, and a small strip of skin became exposed just here." She traced a slow line just below my belly button, and I swallowed roughly and closed my eyes. Forget the horse. I wanted to hear more about Luci's observations.

  "You leaned against the side of the truck, like the pose in an iconic cowboy image, with one hip slightly higher than the other and poured the some of remaining water from the jug over your head to cool your body from the exertion. You didn't bother to wipe it away, just allowed it to drip down your face and chest. Then you lit a cigarette. It was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen you do, Darling." I laughed.

  "Really? Me sweaty and dirty and smoking got you hot and bothered?" I forgot the question when I felt her nipples harden against my shoulder blades. My eyes rolled into the back of my head when her fingers dipped beneath the waist of the riding pants and her other hand fumbled with the button.

  This woman was insatiable. I'd had more sex in the past two months in the oddest places (with more witnesses than I cared to admit) than I had in the past year, maybe the past two. I spread my legs further and wrapped my good arm around her neck as she slid inside. I really didn't care about being caught as long as she continued to touch me. I'd even film it and post it on the Internet if it meant one more kiss. The angle was awkward, I'll admit, but her warmth between my legs combined with mine was enough. I turned my face into her neck and gasped, trusting her to hold me up while she pushed me over the edge.

  My legs wobbled, and I tightened my grip around her neck as I tried to find my bearings. We were worst than teenagers, and I adored every glorious, pleasure-fill second of it. I'd never grow tired of her touch. She clasped her hands over my hips and held me against her for support. Something had snapped inside of her the night I killed Andre, I think. She'd held back for a few weeks until my grief and the better part of my physical pain subsided, and then she was upon me, night after night, day after day. I loved it. I loved her. I was happy and very satisfied.

  "Luci?" Cal called hesitantly from the stall door. I giggled and pressed my burning cheeks further into her neck.

  "What is it, Cal?" Amusement laced her blue silk.

  "Dodger is ready. I'm going to head out to my coyote traps if you are okay here." The boy sounded ready to run for the hills. How much had he heard or seen? I didn't care.

  "That will be all. Thank you, Cal." Luci looked down at me and bit her lip as she silently laughed. Payback would be severe. I wondered if Luci had ever had a lover's hand down her pants while riding a horse.

  All thoughts of my devious scheme were forgotten, however, when I'd finally managed to pull myself into the saddle behind her. Dodger danced at the added weight and the strange feeling of two people on his back. I clung to Luci's waist as she calmed the animal. She was more concerned for his comfort than mine, but I found that I didn't mind that at all when he settled under her hushed, soothing tone. After the initial fear passed and my body found a harmonic movement with Dodger's and Luci's, I realized why Luci enjoyed riding so much. I felt the power of the animal beneath me, the raw force, and yet I knew that it obeyed Luci's every command. It was breathtaking, like her.

  "I've decided that we need a four-wheeler so I can take you riding sometime or a motorcycle. Yeah, a motorcycle." I squeezed tighter as she kicked the horse into a gallop to the top of a large grassy hill. Something in my soul clicked into place when we reached the top, a union with nature that can only be felt when completely removed from civilization. I panted from the overwhelming sensation. Not many people knew where they belonged, not after an entire lifetime, and I'd found the person I was meant to be beside in the place we were meant to live.

  "All good, Darling?" She covered my hand with her own and soaked up the view. I leaned around her shoulder when she sniffed.

  "Luci, are you crying?" She nodded, unashamed, a feeling I feared I would never master. I held her tightly and pressed my lips to the back of her neck.

  "This will be yours one day, Lauren. Everything from here to the tree line in all directions is mine. It's beautiful, isn't it?" The pride and conviction in her voice made tears burn the back of my throat, and I leaned my forehead onto her shoulder as they flowed freely down my cheeks. She was amazing. The view was amazing. My life was amazing.

  "Yes, you are." I answered her rhetorical question with a compliment, and I felt her smile rather than saw it. Her muscles always relaxed when she smiled, and the energy surrounding her body changed.

  "Is this why you wanted to bring me riding, to show me this?" I hooked my chin over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her neck.

  "Yes. I wanted you to see it. We should return, though. Riding uses nearly every muscle in your body, and I don't want to strain your shoulder anymore than I have. Thank you for agreeing to this." Her blue silk floated through the open air, and I resisted the urge to cry again. I wasn't even sure why I was crying in the first place. I felt Luci's emotions like a genuine empath, a paranormal being who could feel other people's emotions as their own, and I was usually overwhelmed by whatever sensation she sent out.

  "I'm glad I did. Thank you for showing me."

  "Of course, Darling. I have only one question for you." I leaned my head to the side and studied her face, knowing I would bow to her every wish. "When I die, make sure I'm buried at your spot near the river. It is most dear to your heart, and I want to be visited often."

  "Okay. That's a bit morbid for the current moment, but sure. And I shall join you when my time comes. Right by your side." I smiled into her neck and squeezed her tightly.

  "Thank you. Come. We have much to do before Katherine arrives. David informed me last night that he has finished the arch for the walkway. We shall see it completed this morning." I gasped. I'd been waiting for months for David to carve the elaborate arch, disappointed that I was practically useless in the endeavor.

  She steered Dodger towards the stables and clicked her teeth and squeezed with her heels. He took off in a gallop, and I feared nothing as he sprinted toward his house. Luci wouldn't let me fall. Cal had returned before us, and he reached for the reigns as Luci guided me safely to the ground. I offered him a small smile and stepped away from him, lest he become nervous and spook Dodger. I couldn't bear the thought of Luci being injured on my account.

  "Thank you, Cal. You will give him the full rub down?" The young man nodded and started for Dodger's stall. "One moment, Cal." Luci stopped him and pressed her face into Dodger's neck and hugged him. She truly loved her horses. She whispered into his ear, but I never heard the words. His ears twitched when she let go, and he nudged her belly with his nose. She smiled and scratched between his ears.

  "I know, boy." She kissed the side of his face. "Cal? If Lauren should ever visit without me, please see her as you see me. She will not harm you, I assure you, and she will give the utmost respect to your charges. You understand?"

  "Sure, Luci. You are welcome, Lauren, anytime. Just talk quietly." He turned on his heel and disappeared into the stable, and I raised an eyebrow. Odd man.

  "Thanks." I whispered to no one in particular, and Luci smiled and wrapped her arm around my waist.

  "He's odd, but he will obey my wishes as long as you treat the horses kindly. They are his whole life." I nodded and leaned into her shoulder. "David should be nearly ready by now. Shall we see this endeavor to fruition, my Darling?"

  "Yes." There was no hesitation. She could have asked me to go watch a badminton match, and I would have agreed with the same conviction and enthusiasm.

  "Wonderful. I've asked David to prepare for this morning. I do hope you approve of the design. I created it myself." I was the luckiest woman on the planet, possibly the luckiest to have ever lived.

  "I just can't believe it's actually going to be
finished. We've worked so hard on it." I smiled at David across the yard. He'd been distant but polite since my return. I wondered if he felt my abandonment as acutely as Luci had, but where she'd welcomed me home with open arms and a joy-filled heart, he remained reticent, the pain too close to his heart. I hoped to regain his faith in time. I really never intended to leave Luci, and I could guarantee that I would never attempt it again, not now. Not after my mind had been awakened to the truth of the world for the first time in my life. I had the ability to fight back, and Luci guided my way with her wisdom and experience. We were going to make an unstoppable team.

  "Hi David." I wanted him to smile and call me Hummingbird, like he had this summer when he'd believed I was unshakably faithful.

  "Lauren. Good morning, Miss Luci." I stared up at the huge arch covered with a tan drop cloth. He must have begun work on it after I'd left for Baltimore.

  "Are you ready, Darling?"

  She turned her face towards mine, but I only stared at the covered arch with excitement pounding in my chest. I nodded, and David pulled on the cloth. I gasped and stepped out of Luci's arm. The wood was a dark pink, faint red, probably Red Oak, a very hard and difficult wood to work with by hand, but durable. The arch stood seven or eight feet tall and had huge, square side pillars supporting it, and a large single piece of wood as the top arch. Three elaborate designs had been carved or burned onto the pillars, and a majestic tree covered the top arch with roots trailing down the pillars and connecting the three symbols. I ran my fingers over the middle symbol that I could easily reach.

  "What do these mean, Luci?" She stepped beside me and brushed one finger over the round elaborate Celtic knot.

  "This is a Celtic Peace Knot. It means peace, obviously, but not just with others. It also reminds the wearer, or in this case the visitor, to seek out peace within oneself." She pointed at the top symbol, unable to reach it. "This is a Shield Knot. Warriors would carve or paint this symbol on their shields before battle for protection. Patches would also be sewn onto the clothing of children and the sick in the hopes that the knot would bring healing and protection. The third."