by Tanya Hanson
“Oh, Mallie.” He stopped and pulled her close again. No kiss this time. Just held like he’d never let go.
Finally, they drew apart, gazes not meeting, but as they headed to the burbling stream, she let him take her hand. She squeezed his fingers, maybe harder than she would have in normal times. How much numbness she had to perforate she couldn’t really know.
“OK. So that’s pretty much my life history.” She broke the silence that seemed heavy but not uncomfortable. Might as well tackle another miserable subject. “Tell me about Lynn.”
Down deep, Hoop sighed. The afternoon was cooling down quick, but the day was still something special. “All righty. I met Lynn through friends in Greeley. I was at a symposium on, ahem, artificial insemination and genetics.” Cheeks red, he cleared his throat as they hunkered against the rail of the bridge. “She was taking a class to update her teaching credentials.”
“Colorado girl?”
“Yep. Not a good part of Denver. She told me today that’s why she liked Hearts Crossing so much. Well, I mean, I don’t deny she knocked my boots off right away. Even before all this”—he waved his free hand up and down his body, and she knew right off he meant cancer—“even before my new creed of not wasting time, I’m not all that subtle. Don’t like waiting around, beating around bushes. But she had a teaching job she liked in Denver.” He sighed, his voice soft. “For about a year, we did the e-mail thing. I’d get to Denver on weekends when I could. Then she came here to Hearts Crossing the next Christmas and seemed hooked. We had a little wedding here the summer after we met. She kept busy as a substitute teacher. And then we had Ella.”
He turned with bleak eyes that soon softened. “If I’d only known, well, I gotta say I’d do the very same thing. That little girl is my world.” His fingers tightened. “But I do know there’s also room for somebody else.” He explained Lynn’s reasons for coming back to Hearts Crossing.
“So, Ella will have a mom.”
“Yeah. Not much of one, in my opinion.”
“But you have to give Lynn a chance.” The words stumbled into her head and across her tongue, but she had to say them.
Hoop frowned at her. “I know that, and I intend to. But it’s not gonna be warm fuzzies around here, um, tomorrow.”
“Hooper…” she started but he interrupted, quick but not rude.
“Mallie, you gotta admit it. Right now, we’re the only two people in the world.”
She felt the same and wanted it to be real, but it could never be. “No, we’re not. There’s Ella. And Lynn. Hooper.” As she spoke his name, he groaned, and she tried to smile. “I can promise you friendship. I am a real good friend. Even with my old boyfriend and guys I used to date.” She swallowed tears. “You should see it. My team for the brain cancer fundraiser walk—why, everybody I ever knew was in it. Almost two hundred people.”
“Mallie...”
“No, Hoop. You just said it yourself. This illness does it to us. We can’t waste time beating around the bush. I am certain I could fall for you. Hard, fast. Maybe forever. So I can’t let myself. We can be friends. That’s it. That’s all I can promise.”
“Mallie…” he said again, his arms open, beseeching.
“We can e-mail. Facebook. Call each other. That kind of stuff…”
“Phone calls? E-mail? You’d rather talk to a machine than…than me? I’m no good with computers.”
Unsure whether to laugh or to cry, she did both. Her bark of laughter was as real as the rush of tears. “You will be. You’ve got a twenty-first century kid. Sometimes one day is all we get. Now, I want to get back to the ranch. It’s just about time for cake.”
She ran back to Crazy Horse.
If he asked, she might just stay. She couldn’t give him the chance. But when he called out, she did turn around.
“Promise me. You won’t leave Colorado without telling me goodbye.”
OK, that was easy. “You got it, Hooper.” Why did his name taste like honey on her tongue? “I won’t leave without telling you goodbye.”
“And by the way, I think you’ve already given your heart, Mallie.”
****
Three weeks without her.
Life was pushing into Thanksgiving. Every ten minutes, Ella ran around the ranch singing some silly song about a fat turkey, and Ma busily sewed a Pilgrim costume for the kindergarten’s feast next week. Snow had fallen three nights this week, and would likely return to trap the bazillion folks Ma had invited for Thanksgiving dinner.
Tomorrow was Hooper’s birthday. The big thirty-five. And Mallie had vanished without a word. Even though she’d promised. His heart caved in for about the millionth time as he sat warming his feet at the fireplace in the big house, morning chores done. The heat from a mug of coffee tried to sink into his dead fingers. Dr. Schwartz had said nerves are about a hundred miles long, and it might take years for the endings to heal.
Yeah, he might not have years.
Worse. His ma and sisters all wore The Look. He knew it well. Kelley was home for a couple of days, and they had cooked up something for his birthday tomorrow, somehow intending to fix up his loser self with somebody they reckoned worth it. Worth him. Well, he wasn’t about to cave. Matchmakers had really started to annoy him. Try as he might, he hadn’t been able to weasel anything out of his daughter. Nobody had told Ella a thing because she couldn’t keep a secret if she swallowed it. But truth was, he didn’t want anybody but Mallie.
And as for Mallie… he’d gone to the flower shop in Promise where the sign in the window read Wildflower Junction was closed on Tuesdays. By the time he’d asked Kenn for Brian’s phone number because he didn’t have Mallie’s, he realized he wouldn’t push the keypad. Hooper Martin’s ego helped him decide he was done chasing down a woman who obviously didn’t want him. Once had been quite enough, thank you.
He sighed. Lynn’s barge into his life hadn’t caused too much of a ruckus, and for that he thanked God daily. She’d asked for and gotten forgiveness. Although Ma had been pretty cool, his siblings were kind of a work in progress every night at family devotions even though the Martin credo had always been about the F-word—Forgiveness. Rachel was smart, and a mother herself, totally on board. She’d worked out a generous visitation agreement and had assured Hoop that his sole permanent custody was not in danger.
So what was left to want?
Nothing but Mallie.
Mallie who had broken her promise.
Ah, well. She wasn’t the first woman to break a vow to him.
Or his heart.
His jaws clenched as the heat left his coffee cup, and his fingers chilled worse than ever.
Getting home from his honeymoon, all secure in his love, Kenn had wondered why Hoop didn’t call her.
“I won’t go chasing after a woman again.” Hoop could say those words in his sleep.
Speaking of Kenn, his happily-wed brother dashed into the big living room just as Hoop rose to lay another log on the fire. He turned to face him.
“You up to going to Posy’s Grove?” Kenn asked.
Hoop sighed, deep. Something he was getting good at. “I dunno. Gotta get Ella at school.” He felt his eyebrows rise. “What’s up?”
“Ma’ll pick her up. Christy needs some measuring done. For the benches she’s planned for the wedding grotto.”
“What?” Hoop couldn’t help it. “It’s probably gonna snow again later. Can’t it wait until springtime?”
“Apparently not.” Kenn hung his head, and Hoop got it. Kenn was suffering from newlyweditis.
“All righty, then. Let me get Alamo saddled up.”
“Nope. Get in my truck.”
Hoop shrugged, grabbed his jacket and gloves, dumped his Stetson on his new head of hair, and obeyed. Seemed easier these days than arguing with everybody’s nagging.
As they set off, Hoop blew on his hands mostly just for show. The day had warmed up a bit, melted all of the recent snowfall. It might be ten below in ten hours, but ri
ght now was all he needed to live for. The sight surrounding him never failed to thrill him.
He’d driven a covered wagon along this route a hundred times, never tiring of city folks gasping and grinning at getting to be pioneers for a few days. But now his mopes came back in a rush. Truth was, he was headed for a wedding spot, and he wasn’t sure how much more his heart could take.
When you knew, you knew. He couldn’t quite recall when he’d known for sure, but he did know God didn’t play games. Somehow, some day, it would work out.
Kenn turned off the main trail to what normally was a horse track. Sometimes on their longer wagon tours, folks rode or hiked this one to the grove, but rowboats were quicker. As if reading Hoop’s thoughts, Kenn chuckled.
“What’s that?” Hoop asked.
“A rowboat with Christy in it sure was the fastest way to my heart. Looks like you’ve got your work cut out.”
“Don’t get what you’re saying,” Hoop grumped, but his blood started to rush at the sight of Crazy Horse and Alamo up ahead, all saddled and ready, under a stand of ponderosa pine. A cough of surprise was all he could manage.
“What’s going on, Kenn?” At Kenn’s eye roll, Hoop let him have it. “I’m your big brother, foreman of this ranch, and I have some clout. What the dickens is going on?”
“Don’t know exactly. But you know the girls. It’s bound to be good.” Kenn dished out an elaborate wink. “They got Bragg to bring the horses out here in the trailer.”
Crazy Horse. As Kenn waved off, Hoop headed for the horses. His brain raced with memories of Mallie sitting atop that horse like she wasn’t a California big-city girl. Hope started to simmer because in his heart, the horse meant Mallie.
Mallie who had broken her promise.
Mallie who sat on a stump in front of the giant flat boulder Christy envisioned for an altarpiece. Like she was praying.
For a flash, he stood like a stone pillar, breath gushing, skin prickling and not from the cold. Then he started up. He knew how to walk soft so as not to spook cattle, and he reckoned she didn’t hear his footfalls. But glory be, she had to hear the thundering of his heart against his ribs.
Maybe it was his eyes watching her, maybe she could sense somebody was there, for slowly she turned around, and before he could drink in her beautiful face, she ran into his arms.
Her lemony scent filled his nose, and her arms were as tight around him as his to her even through their down coats. How he had survived three weeks without her life-giving energy he’d never know. His blood thudded in his ears.
Finally, he pulled back a bit and had to ask. “Mallie, what are you doing here?”
Her lips turned up in secret satisfaction, her cheeks red from more than the chilly air. “It’s your birthday.”
“Not till tomorrow.”
“Well, I wanted to be first to wish you happy birthday.” She pointed past the big boulder where, next to the stream, he could see a small foldout table and a picnic basket. A candle flickered, and he reckoned it was one of those silly battery ones.
“How’d you know?”
“Well, you might not do e-mail and Facebook, but Kelley does.” She raised her nose, smug.
He didn’t mention he’d found her blog and pored over it, crying and laughing and rejoicing. Oh, he wanted to be thrilled, but… “You never said goodbye, Mallie.”
“That’s because I never left Colorado.”
When her mittened hand grabbed his, he felt it to his toes in spite of the numbness and the wool. Her eyes brimmed with tears.
“I’m so, so sorry, Hooper.” Her fingers tightened. “Uncle Teddy had a stroke the night I got there, so I stayed on. Things have been absolutely frantic, and Auntie Jeanette needed me twenty-five hours a day. He’s out of danger now, but he’s all I could think of.”
Her words wounded him. “I should have been there, Mallie.”
“Believe me, Hoop, I know you’d have been there in a heartbeat.” She cupped his cheek. “But I needed to prove to my parents I can do things on my own. Here. In Colorado.”
In Colorado? She looked him full on. “Thing is, helping Auntie Jeannette, watching their faith guide them through, well, Hoop. I learned how even my short time at Hearts Crossing changed me. God makes everything easier.”
“So that’s why you’re here now. This is goodbye.” He didn’t ask. He stated in a dull thud of a voice, and his heart stopped.
She shook her head and leaned close. No way could he resist pulling her against his side where she fit perfect.
“No, Hoop. I’m staying to help out at the flower shop. And…” She lowered her eyes, bashful. “I’m starting up a little wedding coordinator business in Promise. Something low-key, but I know I’ll be good at it. More than that”—here she raised her gaze to his, and he read straight through to her soul—“I listened with my heart. I listened again to Rachel telling me just one second with Nick would have made it all worth it.”
With his knees doing that weak thing, he sat on the bench, and it was natural to pull her onto his lap.
“Auntie said much the same,” Mallie said as she cuddled close, and bliss covered him. “She said some people get just one whirlwind of love, some get a hurricane. But no matter how much or how long, it’s God’s truest blessing to a man and a woman.”
Hoop held his breath. It couldn’t mean…she loved him, could it? These past three weeks had allowed him to accept he’d fallen for her practically from the first second, but he’d never admit it out loud to loving her that fast.
Until today. He opened his mouth, but she wasn’t done.
“Hoop, even more, I remembered something your mom said to me when I was here. She told me about your dad passing. How blessed it was for her to hold the one she loved as he went to Heaven. Well, Hoop, when it’s my time to find Heaven, I can’t imagine anybody else holding me. Except you.”
Except you. The one she loved? Him? But he swallowed hard. When it’s my time…
“Mallie, this doesn’t mean…” Fear that her health had taken a wrong-way detour flooded him.
“Oh, no, honey.” She laughed her big joyful laugh, the pet name thrilling him. “I’m still status-quo. I’ll be going to California often to see Mom and Dad and for all my scheduled tests.” She paused for a minute. “And Dad has access to the corporate jet if, you know, if I need to get anywhere fast.” Then she blinded him with a smile. “To help Uncle Ted’s speech, he and I read two Psalms and one Gospel chapter each day. I’m learning so much, Hoop. Most of all, I learned why God had me be Brian’s plus one. It was, of course, to find my faith. But also…to find you.”
He grabbed her hands and held them against his chest, but she said the words before he did.
“This is a day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad.”
“Amen!” After a sacred moment, he couldn’t help a grin. “So we’ve got three weeks of dating to make up for. What do you reckon we should do first?”
“Tell me the story of this grove.”
“Later. I’m a guy. This works for me.” Quickly he stood, pulling her along and held her close. Her kiss tasted of lemons and springtime. Hmmm. Springtime. The perfect season for a wedding in a perfect little grotto with a creek singing nearby.
“What’s that grin for?” Mallie said in a dreamy voice when she opened her eyes, wide, so he could see himself in them. He fought for control.
“I’m hungry. Let’s eat. Then we’ll take that ride I promised you.”
“OK, but that better not be all you promise me. Hooper Martin.”
Like the rehearsal night, his lips sparked as he dropped another kiss on her forehead, promising his future and whatever forever the Lord had in mind.
Epilogue
Three weeks later
Cattleman Club banquet hall
As the camera zoomed, Ella posed in front of the Christmas tree like a real child model. And why not? She was used to photo ops by now. The last six weeks had seen her dressed in white for another
wedding, dressed in black as a Pilgrim maiden at school, and today dressed in holiday plaid. On Christmas Eve, she’d be wearing angel wings in the pageant at church. Like the autumn leaves at the altar, she and Mallie had glued on goose feathers one by one.
Ella’s taffeta dress crinkled as she ran off with Daisy’s three-year old nephew Owen, the ring bearer beyond adorable in his tiny tux. Hoop pocketed the camera, but Mallie held his arm.
“Now, let me see. If they aren’t good, you’ll need to retake,” she told him.
He chuckled, and she figured she sounded as naggy as a wife.
Or as real as a mom.
Something wonderful fluttered through her. True to her word, Lynn went slow in her relationship with her daughter, reassuring Hoop she meant no trouble. Ella, while interested in Lynn, made it clear she was cautious, too, about giving her heart. Although she’d given it completely to Mallie.
With a nod, Mallie approved the digital photos. “I better go after the kids. It’s about time for dinner.”
Again as real as any mom.
Eyes half-lidded, Hoop grinned at her in the way that always caused a tingle. “They got a minute. Pike and Daisy aren’t here yet.” He took her hand and led her to their table. Mallie’s tummy took another tumble as wedding guests gushed over the centerpieces of silver-glittered willow twigs, tufts of pine and white roses, and yes, rosemary. Mallie sighed in pleasure; the floral designs were her own.
“Well, as I reckon it, you done good your first time as weddin’ coordinator.” Hoop exaggerated the whole Wild West thing. “And your second time recitin’ Scripture at a Martin wedding.”
Mallie thrilled again at the beautiful words of First Corinthians thirteen. Love beareth all things, hopeth all things. Endureth all things. Thrilled at Daisy and Pike honoring her in such a way. In fact, everything about tonight pleased her. Uncle Ted’s flower shop and her new venture, Wildflower Wedding Planning, had turned Mountainview Church into a forest of pine and white lights to celebrate Pike and Daisy’s union as well as the holy season.
She shook her head. “I just took care of all the last-minute hysteria. Daisy’s mom and grandmother did a superb job setting things in motion. And Auntie Jeannette helped me with the flowers.” Glancing around the bustling banquet hall, Mallie caught sight of Elaine Martin and muttered, “This is a lovely old building, but I know your mom’s a bit discombobulated. You know, the Densmores are having the reception here in town, not at the ranch.”
