by K J Carr
“T’Koran? Chlarm?” Torry looked at Malak questioningly before looking back at me.
“Yes, he’s a….”
“…a special type of dog that can sense daemons. Enoch found him, figured out he was unique and gave him to Nica after she had been kidnapped.” Malak didn’t look at me while spinning this crap. If I hadn’t been standing so close to him, I would have poked him hard.
“Ah, interesting. Perhaps we need to test more dogs for this kind of help.” Torry looked thoughtful.
“Weren’t you going to go to Coco for Cupcakes? I think they close at five pm and it is now…” I glanced at the nearby clock. “About three o’clock. And rush hour traffic has already started.” I tried my innocent look on him, but I am sure he wasn’t quite buying it.
“Yes, you are right. I will see you later around six. Malak. Nica.” Torry smirked at me and then left, luckily taking the out I had given him.
I whirled around towards Malak. He raised a hand to stop me, quickly speaking before I could open my mouth. “Enoch doesn’t think we should let anyone know about T’Koran being a Chlarm daemon. Some may think you should be disqualified from transitioning because you can talk with him – a daemon. Enoch, though, thinks that this is something new, that it happened because we may need to have an alliance with the Chlarm daemons to continue our fight against evil in general.”
I pushed his hand down and then grimaced. “That is good reasoning. Not everything is all evil, just as not all things good are all good. God knows I am not the perfect little do-gooder.”
“Oh, so true.” Malak leered at me.
“Hey! I bet you weren’t as well! I mean, how many hearts did you callously break before you died?”
He just shook his head and smiled.
“Which brings up another question.” I continued. “Did you die this young or did you revert to this age after transitioning?”
Malak gave me a surprised look. “We revert. Even though, back then, humans didn’t have the same lifespan. We also are given what we need to continue as the type of Tennin we are. I got more charm and reasoning skills.” He smirked. “Hyrs-Tennin get more patience and the ability to teach better. Jyrd-Tennin can lead, which also means more charisma. We all are better with weapons, although different ones for everyone. And we all get immortality in the fact we don’t die of natural causes or diseases, but we can be killed, mainly if the injury is a fatal one.”
I thought about that. “Do you have any rapid healing abilities? For non-fatal injuries?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes. It depends a lot on the injury. And who gave it to us. You saw how I was able to help Kaitie by giving her some of my life force. That was one type of healing. You will learn more from the Hyrs-Tennin pair that is assigned to you.” He paused and then grinned evilly at me. “That is, once you formally decide.”
I closed my eyes, putting my hand over them while shaking my head at the same time. That decision thing again! Luckily, the nurse came to tell us that Kaitie was almost ready to go.
I followed her back down the hall.
“Hey, girl, let’s blow this joint.” Kaitie grinned at me.
Chapter 15
Malak dropped us off at Kaitie’s house. Since we wanted all the good crap, we sent him off to the store to get it – ice cream, chips, dip for the chips, guacamole (only store-made, not prepackaged) and such. We were such snobs about our junk food.
I knew that Malak had walked the perimeter earlier to make sure things were okay and to set some sort of protection ward. In addition, T’Koran had walked with him. I figured we were as safe as we could be, at this time.
The trip home had not been fun. T’Koran had been in my car when we left the hospital, and getting home without Kaitie seeing him was…interesting. Apparently, his little invisibility trick worked for Tennins but not so well with some humans. Kaitie just might be one of those, as she had seen his tail at one point.
Somehow, though, we managed to get everyone in the car and to her house. Poor T’Koran had been squashed under the front seats the whole way. Luckily, he was used to it, but I still felt bad.
Kaitie and I settled in her living room after she had changed into sweats and a T-shirt. I had built up a fire in her fireplace for atmosphere because if you have a fireplace and it was fall in New England, you just had to use it. Kaitie just laughed at me.
I lounged in my favorite over-sized chair, my legs over the armrests, my head laying on the back. Kaitie was stretched out on her couch. I knew there was some time before the men would return.
“Hey, girl?” My voice was soft.
“Uh-huh.” Kaitie had her eyes closed and was probably half asleep.
“If you had the chance to be immortal, to never die of natural causes, would you take it?” I always talked things over with her, but this I couldn’t really. It had to be all hypothetical.
“Where is this coming from Nica?” She turned her head to look at me.
I sighed. “Something someone said to me got me wondering. And now, with everything going on…”
“You are not afraid of death, girlfriend. Why would you want to live forever?”
“Just…. play along with me a little. If you were given the chance, would you take it to live forever?”
Kaitie turned back to stare at the ceiling. I waited, knowing that this was not a simple answer. Hence why I haven’t made my decision yet.
The pause went on so long, I wasn’t sure if she was going to answer me. Then she exhaled loudly.
“Nica, I think the answer, for me, is no. I don’t think I would want to live forever. Not unless there was a really binding reason to do so. Living for the sake of living would get…boring. If I was living to learn every language, then I would only want to live until I have done that. Then what? Or perhaps I could live to record history, but after a while, it would be a lot of the same thing, different time, I suspect.” She paused again. “Some people would want to become some ideal, like Justice. Justice to right the rights. But how can you tell what is right and what is not? Who is right and who is not? There are so many lines. Not any one person is all good nor are they all evil. I think the lines blur over time. So how do you decide? And who decided to make you a God such that you are the judge?”
She turned on her side to look at me.
“This appears like a simple question, but it is not. There are so many lines, so many things to think about. For me, that is tiring. I would think living forever would make it easy to talk yourself into complacency. You might take the devil’s advocate at times, just to keep yourself from being bored. So, while you think bank robbers are bad, you may try robbing a bank. All for the sake of experimentation. Because, well, you can’t die.”
“What if you could be killed but just not catch diseases or, I don’t know, age at all?” I interrupted because that was more of a facet of my circumstance.
“Oh, well, then you would be very careful if living forever was important to you, wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t put yourself into circumstances where you could be killed, I would suspect. Even if that was not your intention, after the first – what? – two hundred years or so, you might want to protect yourself. You might not rob a bank, but then you also might not help save people from a burning building. You might not become the best that we as humans could become. People do amazing things because they know they won’t live forever. They travel the world, and climb mountains; they write books, start their own business, and go to the moon. They push the envelope because they can and so that a little piece of them can live on after they are gone.
If you lived forever, why do you need to leave a legacy? You are still here. There would always be a lot of time. You would probably grow jaded.”
She smiled sadly, looking at the flames.
“I don’t want to live forever, Nica. I want to live this life to its fullest. I love my business. I don’t think I would have started it if I knew I would live forever. I don’t think I would be so invested in astrology and
tarot if I could live forever. I don’t think I would love you and Marcus less but I would tell you less often – because I would think I had forever to tell you so or to let you know. More time makes people want to put things off, procrastinate, and not realize how special they are. I love telling those I love that I love them because I know there may not be tomorrow.”
“You have lived your life brightly, Kait. But for me? I have slid by. I haven’t done anything great with my life. I work because it is there, not because I am passionate about it. I always envied you about your career. It never was a job. It was who you are. But for me, I am just Jennica, Marcus’s little sister. I just do what I have been expected to do. I am not sure, even now at sixty, what my dreams are. How did I get this far and not have dreams?”
“You have them, you have just put them aside.”
“But I have been living as if I have an infinite amount of time to do them, right?” I sat up and leaned forward, my arms on my thighs. “I have been living as if I will live forever, but I won’t. You won’t. But if we look at the two of us, you have filled your life with…. You. I have just waited until some point in time.”
“So, what do you want to do, Nica? You must decide what it is you want to do. Do you want to just wait? What are you waiting for? When will it be the right time? And when it is time, what will you do? What brings you joy? For me, lying in that bed these last few days, I knew I would do nothing different, even if I died tonight. I love my life. I love you and Marcus. I love the diner and everything that is good about it. I love my shop and astrology and tarot and everything mystical that helps us to look at our world a little differently. I love it all.”
There it was. One piece of what it meant to be human, as according to Kaitie. I didn’t want to become unfeeling, like Enoch appeared to be, nor evil like Achilah. I had to decide what was important to me — and how much of my humanity I wanted to bring along with me on this journey.
Malak walked into the house. “Hello?”
I knew he had been listening in. I just didn’t have an answer for him yet. In fact, right now, I was leaning more towards no. But I needed to think harder about this. And perhaps ask a few more questions.
“Hi, Malak. Get everything?” Kaitie jumped up and followed him into her kitchen. She started helping him put away the ice cream and pulled out bowls and spoons for the junk food.
“Hey, Nica! Pick out a movie – either from my stash or check to see what is streaming.”
I sat for a moment more, thinking. Heck, I didn’t even know what I wanted to see. Malak came into the room and put his hand on my shoulder.
“You are asking the right questions, Nica. So many go into this without thinking about it. And then they… go a little crazy. Sometimes we can save them from themselves. Sometimes we cannot. We are not invincible people. Mainly because most of us started out as human ourselves. A few were born as Tennin, but that is rare. And humans, as you must know, are not infallible.” His voice was soft.
I glanced up at him and nodded.
“I think a comedy or something light may be best for tonight.”
He smiled. “Indeed. What about Deadpool? Or an Austin Powers movie?”
I grinned. “I think it could be a Marvel-ous kind of night.”
Malak swiped at me half-heartedly as he went back into the kitchen to help Kaitie.
“I come bringing cupcakes!” Torry sang out as he entered the house, a huge box in his hand.
Chapter 16
After stuffing ourselves with junk food and pizza and cupcakes and watching a couple of the Marvel comic hero movies, Kaitie was obviously reaching her limit.
I rounded up the guys and pushed them towards the door. “I will come back tomorrow to clean up, Kaitie. Don’t worry about a thing. Just go to bed.”
Kaitie stood looking at us, a tired smile on her face. “I think I will. But don’t you have work tomorrow?”
“Took this week off. Couldn’t think of work when my best girl was in the hospital.” I hugged her and then followed the guys.
Torry stopped, his hand on the door. “I think I should stay with her.” His voice was quiet.
“Why?” I crossed my arms over my chest, staring at him belligerently.
He rolled his eyes. “For one, she just had brain surgery a couple of days ago and shouldn’t be alone. Even if she healed faster than normal.” He glanced at Malak, who just shrugged, a small smile on his face. “For another, to protect her from any other daemons attacking her.”
I dropped my arms, kicking myself mentally. “Perhaps I should stay…”
“No, go, Nica. If a daemon appeared, do you know how to protect her?”
I felt torn. She was my sister, and yet, I couldn’t protect her from these monsters. I shook my head. Malak rubbed my shoulder briefly before sliding his hand down to take mine. He tugged me down the stairs toward my car, waving at Torry, who quickly turned and re-entered the house.
“Want to talk?” He said quietly.
“I am not sure. I am pretty much talked out right now.” I moved around to the driver’s side of the car.
“How about you just listen? Let me tell you some stories.”
I looked at him across the roof of my car. “Okay. Get in.”
“So why did you decide to transition?” I pulled out of Kaitie’s driveway, turning towards my house.
“Me? It wasn’t for any of the right reasons. Back then, it was either be a slave – which meant hard labor – or if you were lucky, you were one of the ruling families. I was a slave. And not a good one.” He stopped. “There have been others who did think about this. What it would mean. What they could do. Unfortunately, I wasn’t one of those, but I have found some of those who did. Two hundred years is a long time. I haven’t advanced much. I have wanted to be the best Kri I could be to move up, but somehow, things always have gotten in the way. Kaitie is right. This kind of life does not suit everyone. You have to be focused and have at least one major goal or person to help you navigate the years.”
“Do you have a…..” I wasn’t sure how to put it.
“What? A significant other? A lover? A spouse?” Malak shrugged. “I have had those, both among the Tennin and among humans. The humans grow old and die. The Tennins grow cynical. I was one of those who was world-weary. And then I started working for Enoch. He is fighting evil. Not all evil, but evil against innocents. He is known as the Recording Angel. Some see him as the Voice of God. In any case, he is trying to stay close to his roots…to humans. He is trying to keep humans moving forward. He knows there is free-will, and that humans must decide what they will do or not do, but he records their actions and tries to tweak events that are not for the greater good, which are instigated by daemons to take over the humans so that humans can survive. I am now a part of this.”
“Have you ever wanted to stop living?”
Malak thought about this. He was honestly thinking this through before answering me.
“Yes. Many times. But I always keep going. I have seen colleagues kill themselves. I have seen others let themselves be killed. And I have seen good people killed doing great things that many will never know about. I have been injured but have recovered. I do not, though, do this for fame or fortune. I do this because I believe in Enoch.”
“Interesting. I don’t think I can do this because of someone else’s vision.”
“No, I don’t think you could either.” Malak looked at me. “You have more to you, even though it hasn’t come to the forefront. You need a reason to continue on.”
I nodded.
“Which makes you the type of person that should become a Tennin. But that is neither here nor there, now. Because your potential has made you a target.”
“But I was going to die anyway. So, either I die as human or I die as Tennin.” I pulled into my driveway and shut off the car.
Malak sat for a moment. “Daemons,” he started slowly, “do not always kill quickly. Sometimes they torture for many years, perhaps de
cades. Sometimes they take your soul and enslave it. And sometimes, they transform you into a daemon, a lesser one, but still a daemon.”
My mind froze at that thought.
T’Koran! I almost shouted out mentally, still looking at Malak.
Are you…?
I think I was. It was so long ago, I am not sure though, Nica. T’Koran’s mental voice was sad.
I wanted to cry. This sweet soul had possibly been human, and then had been transformed into the lowest of low daemons. He had to get by on scraps and hiding in tunnels. Thinking about that, I started to get angry.
“Do you know who transformed you, TK?” I opened the door.
The Chlarm daemon scooted out and ran up the stairs to my front door. No. I have my ideas, but nothing definite. They try to wipe your mind when they transform you. If they care, they do a good job. The one that did me really didn’t care, so I remember a little, but not much.
I got out and followed him, letting him into the house. Malak followed me, running into me when I stopped suddenly.
“Malak, can you see your friends and family after you become Tennin?” My lip trembled.
He looked into my eyes, contemplative, and then hugged me. “Nica, you die or almost die to transform. How can you see them after they have buried you?”
“Oh!” Tears filled my eyes.
Malak moved us into the living room. “This is another reason why we choose humans that are older. Besides having gained wisdom and knowing themselves better, they also have had many years with the ones they love. They still can have many more, but death is not a stranger to them anymore.” He pulled me around to look at him, his hands on my shoulders. “Look at you. You have spent most of your life with Kaitie and Marcus. They could die tomorrow or live another twenty or thirty years. Even so, there is a limit on how long they will live that is almost….” He thought for a minute before continuing. “Almost touchable. When you were twenty years old, death was a long way away. You didn’t think it could happen to you. Now, though, you know different. Friends have died. Others are sick. Things happen. You plan for it, you try to come to peace with it.”
