by Sam Crescent
She felt his heart beat and lifted up to look at him. “I have a family. They’re just not people you brag about.”
He ran his fingers down her cheek. Erica closed her eyes, moaning at his touch.
“I missed you,” she admitted, not only to him but to herself. He sat up, taking her lips in a sweet, tender kiss. She closed her eyes as her body came alive under his skilful touch.
Chris pulled away, cupping her face in his hand. “I’ve not been with anyone since you.”
She stared at him. Erica thought her mouth would be hanging open in disbelief at his statement. “That’s not possible. I saw the newspaper headlines about your latest conquest.”
He shook his head. “You saw what I wanted the media to see. Chris Sinclair up to his usual antics. I couldn’t touch another woman after you. I tried, but the only woman I wanted was you.”
Erica felt guilty. Even though she’d never been with another man for intercourse, she’d let Ben touch her intimately as she’d touched him.
“You look sad. What’s the matter?” he asked. “Have you been with someone else?”
She moved away.
“Yes and no.”
“What do you mean, yes and no?”
Erica glanced at her hands then back at him. “I haven’t been physical with anyone else. Ben and I, well, we fooled around a little.”
“Only fooled around?” he asked. She nodded her head.
He laughed. “I’m not going to hold that against you, Erica. I fucked up. I wouldn’t have been surprised if you hadn’t slept with other men to rid your mind of me. I’m pleased you didn’t. It makes what we have a little more special.”
Chris caressed her face, kissing her on the lips. “Let’s eat.”
Chapter Seven
Ben sat nursing a beer as he thought about what Erica had said to him. The attraction he felt towards Martin was wrong. Ever since they’d grown into adolescents he’d been drawn to the other man. Martin was his life-long friend. Ben never wanted to ruin the friendship he had, but how could he carry on watching him with other people?
He had truly thought with the right woman all of his desire for men would disappear. For a short time he had felt Erica had been that woman. She was smart and fun to be around. He did find her attractive to look at. But no matter how many times he tried to fantasize about her naked or having sex with her, nothing ever stirred him. Even now as he sat with a beer thinking about sex with her, his cock lay flaccid in his pants.
“Fucking traitor.”
“Who’s a fucking traitor? Are you still nursing a crush for Erica?” Martin asked as he walked into the kitchen where Ben was sat at the counter. His pulse quickened as his friend grew closer to him. Taking a sip of his beer he tried to distract himself from the pleasure of seeing his friend. Erica had been right about his attraction to Martin. He thought he’d kept his feelings about the other man close to his chest.
“Nothing to do with Erica. She’s out with her man right now.” He smiled thinking about how happy she looked when Chris was mentioned. She really wanted it to work this time. He hoped it did. Erica deserved happiness. Most people did. Her past was still a grey area to him. She rarely talked about anything but work or stuff to do.
“Is that why she’s been all cheery lately? I thought you were going steady with her?” Martin pulled himself a beer from the fridge. Ben couldn’t help but admire his firm ass.
Get a grip. He’s not yours.
“No. We thought about it. We’re both without partners and want to start a family and everything.” He wanted kids, but his lack of attraction to women could be a problem.
“Then at least you both realise it now rather than later on.”
“Huh?”
“That you’re both not suited together. When kids are involved it can get a bit messy.”
Ben nodded his head. The words he wanted to say to the man in front of him were on the tip of his tongue. He couldn’t get them to come out. They were alone, talking about his lack of a relationship. This was his golden opportunity.
Tell him how you feel, Ben.
“It would have never worked. We both knew she was in love with Chris from the start. She never hid it from me. That part of her past she’d told. The other part about her family she refused to.”
“Yeah, we can’t help who we love. I’m going out to the others. Come and join us when you’re ready.” Martin reached out, touching his hands. “She’ll be out there.”
“Who?”
“The right woman for you. You’ll find her and never look back.”
Good going.
Ben looked behind him watching Martin disappear from view. Why couldn’t he come clean? He was tired of playing the spare wheel. Watching Martin with other women was killing him. Grabbing his bottle he walked over to his bedroom.
He knew he’d have to come clean soon. Living a life constantly yearning for a man he could never have was not the answer.
Ben sat down on his chair looking out at the guys on the beach. None of them knew. How had Erica known?
You’d been with her for weeks. She’s bound to know something.
He enjoyed her curves against him and appreciated her full body, but beyond that he got nothing else from her.
Martin came into view. Ben felt his world fall apart watching the man he loved with someone else. Throwing his bottle in the trash can, he grabbed his coat and left the beach house. He didn’t know where he was going. There was a small town nearby. He walked the distance trying to clear his head. The last time he’d visited with the guys there had been a club where men could go and have a drink and find company for a few short hours. At least, that is how he saw it.
Half an hour later, he entered the club and went straight up to the bar. It was still early, and they were serving alcohol as well as coffee.
“Can I have a strong coffee with sugar? No cream,” he said to the man behind the bar.
“Sure thing. Have I seen you in here before?” the barman asked.
“I stopped by a couple of weeks back with a few friends. We didn’t stay.” He tapped his fingers on the bar as he took more in.
“Is that because we’re a gay bar?” the barman asked.
“What?”
“Because if you’re here to cause trouble, you can get the hell out.”
Ben held his hands up. “I just want a coffee and to sit here.”
“Good. Sorry about the high-handed warning. We have so much trouble that we like to keep it simple.”
Ben nodded, taking his cup of coffee. The scent reminded him of the Italian blend he preferred to buy. There was a lot of stuff he kept covered about his personality. Maybe it was time for him to come out. If he lost his friends then they weren’t really his friends.
“I’ll have a black coffee with your greasiest bagel, Clyde.” A man approached on his other side. He was large and looked to be in his late twenties. Ben tried to ignore him, but the guy oozed sex appeal. He dropped his shoulder bag onto the chair between them. Ben’s hands started to shake as the stirring in his groin began to intensify.
“I’m surprised to see you here. I thought you were vacationing with the parentals,” Clyde said to the mystery man.
“I’ve just left my mom. She’s on her way home, but I don’t want to be anywhere near the chaos when that all kicks off.” The guy sat down rolling up his sleeves. Ben saw a small dragon tattoo on the inside of the other man’s arm.
“Here you go. Enjoy.” Clyde handed a plate and mug to the guy sitting next to him.
“Cheers, mate. This is my one consolation.”
Clyde walked off leaving Ben alone with the mystery man.
“If you keep stirring the spoon in your cup the bottom will drop off.”
Ben dropped the spoon with a clatter. “Sorry.”
“It’s your first time here?”
“Yes, I’m Ben....” He went to say his last name but decided to leave it off.
“I’m Trent.” Trent shook h
is hand. “So are you gay or just curious?”
“I don’t really know.”
“Whoever really knows what they want? Me, I’m a bit of everything. I like men and women. There is something to be said for the woman’s supple body while I also love taking a hard man.” Trent took a bite of his bagel. “I’m sorry for being a cuss. I’ve spent a great deal of time with my family. I have to hide who I am. You’re a stranger, and I can talk to a stranger. You don’t know who I am.”
“No, keep going on.” Ben listened to the other man. He had thought he was the only one with problems. From the sounds of it, this Trent had plenty of issues of his own.
“What about you?”
“Me? Well, I’ve never been with a man. I’ve tried with a woman, but nothing happens. I figured I was weird somehow.” Ben began talking, opening up to the stranger before him. How could he be so open and honest with a man he didn’t know? He talked about his feelings with Martin.
Then the phone buzzed, interrupting his flow.
“Shit, let me take this.”
Ben took a sip of his coffee, which the bar-man had refreshed for him.
“Fucking hell, I’ve got to go. I’m sorry, mate. Family emergency.” Trent paid the bill then gathered his stuff. Ben didn’t mind. Talking with someone who wasn’t a friend had helped open him up.
“Before I go as I don’t think we’ll meet again,” said Trent. “Talk to this Martin guy. He might surprise you. If not, then you can move on with your life. Take care, Ben.”
Then Trent walked out.
Sitting back in his chair, Ben stared off into space. Trent had breezed in, allowed him to talk, then breezed back out of his life. Maybe it was a sign. Either way, Ben felt better and ready to face Martin.
Chapter Eight
Chris burst out laughing, pulling Erica into his arms and swinging her in the air. She let out the cutest giggle followed by a squeal. The cool ocean water kept licking their ankles.
“I’ll throw you into the water,” he said teasingly.
“No.” She pulled away. Chris let her down on her feet so he could run after her. He loved catching her. “You’re going to pull a muscle if you keep lifting me up.”
“Don’t let me fool you, babe. I’ve been working out, and I love the feel of you in my arms.” He ran towards her. She froze, screamed, and ran. Chris caught her, lifting her up and swinging her around. The breeze felt wonderful against their skin. He’d removed his shirt, shoes, and socks. Erica had left her sandals near their picnic area.
He put her down.
“Pick me up like a damsel in distress and carry me back for food,” she said. Chris laughed. He placed one hand under her legs, and the other supported her back. She cried out as he lifted her up. “Forget it. You’ll drop me. Put me down.”
“Wrap your hands around my neck.”
She did as he instructed. “You, Mr. Sinclair, are a very dangerous man.”
“Do you think so?”
Erica nodded.
“You’d better get used to it. I’m your dangerous man, and I don’t intend to go anywhere.”
“I like the sound of that.”
He put her on her feet and saw his phone lighting up. “Don’t answer it,” she said.
“I wouldn’t, but I’m still one of the oldest brothers, and the little ones might need a bail out.” He kissed her, picking up his phone and flipping it open. “What?” he asked. Chris didn’t want to spoil their time together, but he had no choice but to be responsible.
“Chris?” It was Blaze.
“What’s up? I’m a little busy.” He picked up a strawberry and fed it to Erica. Her lips looked lovely and red around the bright red fruit. “How soon can you get to a hospital?”
“Why? What’s going on?”
Erica looked at him, concerned.
“The old man collapsed at home. They’re thinking heart attack. Can you get to the hospital?”
“Yes. I’ll be there soon.” He hung up and stared out at the ocean.
“Chris, what’s the matter?” She was on her knees in front of him.
“My dad’s collapsed. Blaze thinks it’s a heart attack. I need to get to the hospital. I’ll drop you home.” Chris got to his feet, packing away the picnic. Erica grabbed his hand, pulling him to face her.
“Chris, look at me. I’m not going home and leaving you to deal with this alone. We’re together now. Where you go, I’ll go.” She went on her toes and kissed him. He nodded his head, thankful for the support she was offering.
“I don’t know what to do,” he said against her neck. Chris inhaled her sweet scent to try to calm his nerves. His father was an asshole at times, but he was still his father.
“We pack the picnic away. Then we go to your car and on to the hospital.” She stroked his hair. He welcomed every comforting touch. Chris wished he could stay in her arms forever. All too soon he had to pull away and let real life invade their time together.
In silence, they gathered the boxes, putting them away. Hand in hand, they walked to his car, putting the basket in the back. He took every step as a moment of time. Chris wasn’t prepared for his father’s death. What would happen if he never saw him again?
“Stop thinking the end of the world. Your father will be fine,” she said.
“You don’t know that.”
“I know I don’t know. Wouldn’t you rather be thinking the good rather than the bad?”
He nodded his head, moving faster towards the hospital.
The sunshine disappeared in a sea of clouds. His heart was racing. The pain inside him grew worse at the thought of losing his father. Erica put her hand on his thigh, offering him comfort. Chris took everything he could get. He had never anticipated losing his father.
He parked the car, and together they walked into the hospital. They were sent to cardiology wing. When he saw the sad expressions on his family’s faces he gripped Erica’s hand. She tightened her grip, offering him her strength.
Molly stood, embracing him.
“What’s going on? Is he with a doctor?” he asked.
“They’re running the necessary tests. We’re waiting for a doctor,” Blaze said. Luke, John, and Trent sat with Blaze Jr. at their feet. Chris’s nephew looked concerned.
“What do they think it is?”
“They think it’s a heart attack. His age and the stress of work may have taken their toll,” Blaze said.
“No. He’s not working. What was going on before he fell?” Chris turned to Molly.
She shook her head. “I can’t tell you.”
“Your husband may be dying, and you can’t tell us?” Chris yelled.
“Chris. Enough. Some stuff is meant to be private,” Erica whispered.
He relaxed at the sound of her voice. Closing his eyes, he tried to deal with the riot of emotions inside him.
When he opened his eyes, he stared at Molly. She looked to have aged twenty years since that morning.
“We’ve got to sit and wait,” Blaze said, moving towards Cassie. Molly took a seat on the end of the waiting room, her gaze fixed on the door.
Chris held Erica’s hand and led her to a corner seat. She sat next to him. Their hands joined, and the pair sat staring and waiting.
They each took it in turns to assist Blaze Jr. and get refreshments. Erica left him for a short time to make a phone call. While he was alone, Chris thought about all the pain he’d caused. The possible death of his father was opening his eyes to so much more. He would not allow Erica to leave him. This was for life. He wanted her by his side.
He watched Cassie with Blaze. The love the couple had for each other had overcome so many odds. If she could forgive Blaze, then Erica could forgive him. They could have a future together. She came back, handing him back his phone. Chris took the device, kissing her on the lips before she could speak.
Molly was handed some forms to fill out, which she did with a shaking hand.
Chris kept hold of Erica’s hand. The tests be
ing run were taking their time.
Finally, as it was getting dark outside, a doctor appeared. Chris recognised the cardiologist as one of the people who visited his father’s country club.
“Mrs. Sinclair,” he said.
“Don’t do that, Malcolm. Just tell me if he’s going to be all right.” Molly sounded scared. Chris knew without doubt that she still loved his father.
“He’s going to be fine. I’m so sorry. We’ve been running these tests, and there has been a lot going on in the hospital today. Your husband had an angina attack. This is not a heart attack, but I’m pleased we’ve caught it before it could get worse.”
All of them crowded the doctor.
“Has he had a heart attack?” Trent asked.
“No. He’s got diabetes, which some of the tests showed, and he’s suffering from stress. Is David under a lot of stress or anxiety at home?”
They all turned to Molly.
“Yes,” she said. “I’ve asked for a divorce, and it has been quite tense.”
“Then I want to keep him in for observation. His age, circumstances, and diet could be detrimental to his health. I’m going to write him a prescription for his diabetes and heart. Providing his tests come back clean, he should be free to go home tomorrow.”
Chris took a seat while Molly finished talking to the doctor. “He’s going to be all right,” Erica said.
“I know.”
****
Erica stayed with him. His brothers went into visit his father. She kept hold of his hand when each one came out looking shocked. Even though he was fine, she imagined the sight of their father in a hospital bed, hooked up to tubes would be shocking for anyone.
Chris was the last brother to go through. She started to stay in her chair, but Chris held her hand through to the waiting room. David was propped against a load of pillows. Erica stood in the corner allowing Chris space. Molly sat by the bed. Erica noticed the grip the older man had on his wife’s hand. He clearly didn’t want her to leave him.
“Hi, dad,” Chris said.
“I can’t believe it took the fear of a heart attack for all my boys to call me dad in the same day,” David said.
