by Jennie Marts
“Whoa there! Settle down, Nell.” Grabbing the reins, he pulled back, beckoning the horse to stop.
The frightened mare reared back. Holly lost her balance, screaming in terror as she fell from the horse. She landed in the snow, unhurt, but terrified that the horse would trample her. Curled in a ball, she whimpered in fright, even as she heard the horse gallop away.
Within seconds, Levi was off his horse and by her side, running his hands along her body, checking for injuries. “Holly, are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened?”
She gulped in air, trying to catch her breath. Levi wrapped his arms around her, holding her against his solid chest as he murmured sounds of apology.
It felt so good to be held. Everything in her wanted to sink into his embrace. He cradled her against him, shielding her from the cold, and she instinctively slipped her arms around his neck.
Realizing how close they were, she looked up at him, flakes of snow mingling with the tears on her cheeks. His eyes held such compassion, no judgment, just a sincerity that reached in and touched her heart.
Something in his eyes changed, a slight moment, like a shadow passing in the hall, and she caught a flicker of desire. Her stomach dropped, the rollercoaster feeling returned as he leaned down and kissed her.
His lips were warm, and he tasted like spearmint. Her arms tightened around his neck, and she gave in to the moment of passion, kissing him fiercely.
Maybe the trip to Pleasant Valley, the riding lessons, the fall from the horse were all leading up to this moment, this kiss. Flickers of need filled her chest. She pulled him tighter, holding on to him as if her life depended on it.
Maybe it did.
He was so warm, so solid. The passion in his embrace matched hers as his strong hands clutched her back and tangled in her hair. It had been so long since she’d been held, caressed, wanted. Not since Scott…
Scott. Oh no. She couldn’t do this.
She pushed against Levi’s chest, breaking their connection, and stumbled to her feet. “I can’t. I can’t do this.”
The snow fell harder as she broke into a run, the drifts pulling at her legs, dragging her back. Sobs coursed from her throat as she pushed on. She ignored Levi’s shouts as he called for her to come back. Her jeans were soaked to her knees as she reached her car.
Hard pants of breath condensed in the air, and she dug into her pocket for her keys. Collapsing into the car seat, she pushed back her sweaty bangs as she started the car and threw it into gear.
Snow had drifted across the ground, and the back end of the car fishtailed as she pulled out of the driveway. Her tires spun on sheets of black ice as she drove too fast down the highway.
She had to get away. To tamp down the feelings that betrayed her, that yearned for the kiss of another man.
Huge flakes now covered the sky, swirling blizzard-like in a whiteout. The world fell away, and she could no longer see the road.
Her car hit another sheet of ice, and within an instant, she lost control.
Time slowed as her car spun out. A deafening screech of metal sounded as the front end ricocheted off the guardrail. Her head slammed against the steering wheel, knocking her teeth together and sending shocks of pain through her already dizzy head.
The car continued to slide. The back end slipped off the highway, falling backwards, then stopped with a jolt as the car collided with the snowdrifts in the ditch.
The swirling snow blurred out of focus as the edges of her vision filled with grey. The white disappeared as a quiet blackness closed in.
A gust of cold air rushed in, jolting Holly awake.
Her head throbbed, and she looked down to see bright droplets of blood splattered across her coat. The fabric of her wet jeans had frozen stiff, and she couldn’t feel her toes at all. She flexed her fingers, trying to get some feeling into them.
She had no idea how long she’d been out. The blizzard of snow still swirled outside, but she could tell it was still daylight, so that was good.
When she tried to move, a pain shot up her leg. The car was tilted back, but she was pretty sure she faced the road.
She remembered the back end sliding off the highway. Her body was leaned back against the seat, and it took effort just to hold her head up. She tried to turn, but her leg was pinned under the steering wheel.
The interior of the car was eerily dark as drifts of snow encased all but the front windshield. Cold air whistled through the cracked front window, and swirls of snow gave her the feeling she was inside of a snow globe.
Funny, that was how she’d felt the last two years. Enclosed in a glass bubble, like nothing could reach in to her, and she couldn’t get out. And if anyone tried to touch the globe, the shattered pieces of her life would spin and swirl around her in a confetti of grief and confusion. She had no way to escape the prison of the snow globe of her life, and now here she was, literally trapped in a snow prison in the car.
Was this it? Was this her penance for trying to break free of the chains of grief? Was this how her life was supposed to end? Would she die here, in a frozen tangle of metal and ice?
When she’d left the ranch, she hadn’t seen another car on the road. It had to be early afternoon by now. It was Christmas Eve, and by this time, most people would be home, tucked in for the night with their families.
No one knew she was here.
Her teeth chattered, and she pulled her bloodstained coat tighter around her. The reflection in the rearview mirror showed a small cut on her forehead, but the blood had dried to a crusty brown. Too bad the ache in her head hadn’t dried up as well.
She searched the interior of the car for anything that would help. Her purse was nowhere to be seen. It must have fell from the seat during the crash.
As if on cue, she heard the melodic tinkling ring of her cell phone coming from under her seat. Stretching her body forward, she reached toward the floor. Crying out in pain as her leg shifted, she fell back against the seat as dizziness overtook her. There was no way she could get to the phone under the seat.
The ringing stopped, leaving the car deadly silent, the only sound the soft hush as snow fell onto the windshield.
This was it.
She’d always been levelheaded, an optimist, fun to be around. She’d never been prone to dramatics. But this felt real to her, like her time was up, and this was how she would die.
Would anyone even miss her? Her parents would, of course, and close family like Cassie. But she’d burned all of her other bridges. Where was that fun optimistic girl she used to be? Was she even still inside her?
She’d let the pain and grief of Scott’s death build a wall around her that no well-meaning friend with a handful of flowers or an over-cooked casserole could scale. After months of shutting everyone out, they finally stopped trying, which was okay with her. It was easier that way.
No one really understood what she was going through. Not until Dr. Collins.
Her mom had shown up on her doorstep one day about a year after Scott died. She’d flown in from Florida and taken a taxi to Holly’s apartment.
Evidently Holly hadn’t answered her phone in ten days, and her mom had been worried. Scott’s life insurance was enough that she didn’t have to work that first year, and getting out of bed had seemed too much of a struggle.
Holly didn’t know what would have happened if her mom hadn’t shown up and dragged her into the shower and back into life. She’d stayed for two weeks, cleaned her apartment, took her food shopping, and found her a therapist.
A therapist who’d helped her to finally scale those walls and try to find her way back to the living. A therapist who’d helped her to create the list.
The freaking list.
Was this part of facing her fears? Was she even afraid to die? To slip off to sleep and let the cold numbness of a frozen winter day take her last breath.
She had come into the world on Christmas Eve—it seemed fitting that was the way she would leave.
Sh
e closed her eyes, slumped down in the seat. She was so tired. Tired of thinking, tired of trying to fix herself.
If she could just sleep for a little bit.
“Holly!”
She jerked awake, her heart racing at the sound of her husband’s voice.
“Scott?”
“Holly, I never wanted this for you. I love you too much to see you wasting your life by grieving for me. I died because I was living and doing what I loved. It’s time, baby. It’s time for you to let me go. Time for you to live.”
Scott’s words were as clear as if he were sitting in the car next to her. How could she hear his voice?
Unless she was dead too.
She didn’t feel dead. She did feel very cold, though. Her fingers were now numb, but suddenly her heart felt the tiny stirring of warmth.
She thought about her life.
I’m not ready to die.
She wanted to live. To experience life again. To feel joy and laughter. And love. Yes, even love.
A new sound surfaced in the storm. A steady, plodding beat.
Looking out the icicled windshield, she let out a sob of relief.
Through the swirling snow, a dark figure emerged. A cowboy on a black horse. Her knight in shining armor. Except this knight was wearing a leather duster and a brown cowboy hat.
She stared at him in disbelief, tears rolling down her icy cheeks. How could he be here?
Her head couldn’t believe it. But in her deepest heart, she knew he would come. Knew that he would be the one to save her.
“Holly?” he called into the storm.
“I’m here,” she cried. “Levi, I’m here.”
He jumped down from the horse and peered through the windshield. “Hold on.”
He used his boot heel to kick in the corner of the windshield, then pulled back the large sheet of shatter-resistant glass. Icy gusts of cold air filled the car as he tugged the windshield back.
“My leg’s stuck. I can’t move.”
He dropped into the seat, pulling her to him. “Thank God you’re all right.” His arms felt so warm as they wrapped around her, and he kissed the top of her head. “I’m gonna get you out of here.”
Bracing his legs against the dashboard, he pushed. A groan of metal sounded as the dash shifted, and she pulled her leg free.
He climbed out of the window and steadied himself on the hood of the car as he reached back in and pulled her body out. He cradled her against him, and she locked her arms around his neck.
His horse had stood still, patiently awaiting Levi’s return. He stood her on the ground for a second, using the horse as support, only long enough to swing himself into the saddle. Then he reached down and pulled her into the saddle in front of him.
She sat sideways, her body cradled against him as the horse plodded forward. He unzipped his coat and wrapped her inside. His chest was solid and warm, and she slid her arms around his waist, shivering against him.
He untied a blanket from the back of the saddle and wrapped it around them both, protecting their bodies from the driving snow as the horse carried them back to the ranch.
Holly curled against him, letting herself sink into the warmth of his arms. Sink into the safety of his embrace. She was going to be okay. She was safe.
Her heartbeat settled into the rhythm of the plodding horse. Her eyes drifted closed as the blackness overtook her once again.
Chapter Four
Holy shit. She could have died out there.
Levi ran a hand through his hair as he watched Holly sleeping peacefully on the sofa. She seriously could have died.
He couldn’t believe it when he saw her car buried in the ditch. He’d almost missed it. Thank God the front of her car was still just visible at the top of the road. He’d barely caught the flash of red through the snow.
His heart thundered against his chest as he considered the possibilities. She could have frozen to death. Or her injuries could have been worse. Or the crash could have thrown her from the car.
He never should have let her go.
If he hadn’t had to take care of the horses, he’d have been able to catch up to her. He knew the storm was bad, but he’d assumed she’d made it home.
It wasn’t until Cassie called him hours later looking for her cousin that he knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
The storm had made travel impossible. He couldn’t get his truck out of the driveway. He’d saddled Lady as fast as he could, knowing the horse was his only chance at getting to the road. Thank God Holly hadn’t made it too far.
They’d made it back to the house, and he’d carried her inside. He stripped her of her coat and boots, then pulled off her wet jeans, tugging at the brittle, frozen fabric. Wrapping her in another blanket, he’d lain down beside her on the couch, using his body heat to try to warm her.
Once her breathing evened out and she settled into a more peaceful sleep, he got up, changed into dry clothes, and called Cassie to assure her that Holly was fine.
“Oh my gosh, Levi. You are my hero! Thank goodness you found her,” Cassie said on the other end of the line. “That wasn’t what I had in mind when I signed her up for horseback riding lessons.”
He smiled ruefully as he stirred some chicken noodle soup in a pan on the stove. “Me either. But the snow’s so deep, I couldn’t get more than six feet with my truck. And it’s still snowing, so it doesn’t look like she’s going to make it home tonight.”
“No, I guess not. I’m bummed to hear that, but I’m just so thankful that she’s okay, and at least she won’t be alone for her birthday.”
“Her birthday?”
“Yes. Today’s her birthday. And it seems like it’s going to be a memorable one. Listen, I’ve got to go. Have her call me later. Tell her I’m just glad that she’s safe and that you two will have each other for Christmas.”
She hung up, leaving her words ringing in Levi’s ears. He and Holly would have each other for Christmas?
He looked back at the sleeping woman on the couch and tried to ignore the feelings stirring in his heart. She looked so beautiful. Her skin was regaining a little of its color, and the lines of worry and sadness were gone from her face as she relaxed in sleep.
Football. Peyton Manning had led the Broncos in a record-breaking year. How many touchdowns had he scored this year? He couldn’t think. Algebra. X equaled Y-squared. That wasn’t working either. Sports stats and math couldn’t keep his mind from thinking about Holly.
Thinking about the way she felt cuddled against him. Thinking about her bare legs under that blanket. Thinking about the way she’d kissed him earlier today, with such passion and fire.
Yeah, well, a kiss was what had started this whole thing. In high school and this afternoon. And the kiss today had caused her so much pain that she ran off. No matter how great a kiss it was, he wouldn’t let that happen again. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.
She stirred on the sofa, and her bare leg slipped from under the covers. Dang, she had great legs. All he wanted to do was crawl back under those covers with her and hold her against him. And maybe run his hand along the bare skin of that leg.
Uh oh. Here we go again. What was that passing record that Manning had completed this year?
##
Each sip seemed to warm her from the inside out. Holly sat up on the sofa, spooning chicken noodle soup into her mouth. She had the blanket wrapped around her, and Duke’s head on her lap. He looked up with big brown eyes, just in case she wanted to pet him or give him a bite.
She smiled at Levi. “This soup is good. Really good. You’re handsome and you can cook.”
He gave her a questioning look. “Are you flirting with me?”
She laughed and raised a hand to cover her flushed cheeks. “Yes, I guess. Or that was my poor attempt at trying. I haven’t flirted in years.”
He chuckled. “That was a good start. Complimenting my looks and my culinary skills.” He nodded at the bowl of soup. “But I can
’t really take credit. Dad and I have a gal that comes in a couple of times a week. She cleans up, does a little laundry, and usually leaves the fridge stocked with a couple of meals. She’s been helping out since we were kids; she’s practically a second mom to me and Dallas. We’d all be lost without her. That’s a batch of her chicken noodle soup.”
“How is Dallas?”
“He’s good. Ended up marrying a great gal. Lives down in Durango. My dad is staying with them for the holidays.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. He was a great guy. Cute. Just not my type. That was one crazy prom night senior year, though.” She shook her head, suddenly immersed in the high school memories. “Did he ever tell you about that night?”
A funny smirk crossed Levi’s face. What was that about? “I think I may have heard a little about it.”
“Dallas and I weren’t a couple. We were just both the friends of a couple who were going, and it worked out for us to go with them. I don’t know if he even liked me. If he did, I’m pretty sure he got over it by the end of the night.”
She laughed. “We went to a party after the dance, and our friends wanted some alone time, if you know what I mean, so Dallas and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. I lived near there, and every time I walked by this one brown house, I saw this poor dog chained up in the backyard. I knew the kids that lived there, and they were total bullies. I’d even seen them abuse the little mutt. One of the boys had kicked it, and the poor thing was so skinny. It was always in the backyard, chained to a post. I don’t think they ever brought it in.”
Levi grimaced. “That’s terrible. People like that don’t deserve to have a dog.”
She grinned. “That’s what I thought, too. So that night, we’d probably had a little too much to drink, and I decided to do something about it. The house was dark, so I figured that was my sign to get that dog out of there. I had a little bit of booze bravery going on, so I kicked off my heels and had your brother boost me over the chain-link fence into the backyard. He wasn’t as excited about the idea, but he went along with it. The problems started when my poofy prom dress got caught on the chain link. I was hanging there upside down, trying not to scream and alert the neighbors. Then the dog started barking and my dress gave way and the whole bottom half ripped off.”
