Following them for a few blocks, Allan started to get the feeling they were more likely just co-stars in the live sex show on offer at the theater, rather than a genuine couple. Which didn’t bode well for any kind of added emotional torment when he made one watch the other die. He was about to give up on the pair and start looking for inspiration elsewhere, when a female voice called out to him from a shadowy doorway.
“Hey, man.”
He turned toward the voice, which belonged to a skinny brunette with a pixie haircut and a silver raincoat. Her bony shoulders were slumped and defeated. Her eyes were already dead. She wouldn’t meet his gaze.
“Hey,” he replied.
“Got a light?” she asked, raising an unlit cigarette to her chapped lips.
He pulled a disposable lighter from his hip pocket, cupping his hand over the flame, and lit her cigarette. She inhaled deeply, gaze flicking up to him for a fleeting second, then away again.
“So,” she said. “You wanna...?”
She tipped her chin back toward the door behind her.
He nodded.
She led him past a row of warped, pried open and broken brass mailboxes, then into the dim and stinking lobby. She paused for a second, her back to him, then toed a crumpled Chinese takeout menu on the octagonal tiled floor. He thought maybe she was having second thoughts. Rightly so, considering what he planned to do to her. But then she plunged her cigarette into the dirty sand that filled the tall steel ashtray and motioned that he should follow her up the cracked marble stairs.
Her single room was on the third floor, at the end of a long, crooked hallway that smelled like urine, roach-spray, and despair. From behind one of the doors there came a vociferous argument going on between two drunks of indeterminate gender. This might be a good thing for Allan, because it would mask any sounds the girl might make during their encounter. Or it could be problematic if it became too violent and attracted the police.
Allan smiled to himself at his overly cautious thinking. After all, how often did the police get called by the denizens of a place like this? Not unless someone was dead, Allan surmised. And by that time, he would be long gone.
Inside the girl’s room it was dank and shabby. The kind of room that was destined to be immortalized in a crime scene photo. The only decoration was a torn and peeling black light poster of a topless woman with an afro and a pet panther. The bed was a spavined, overworked wreck that sagged in the center. The colorful Navajo blanket thrown over the worn-out mattress didn’t do a very good job at hiding the stains.
The girl’s name was Desiree, or that’s what she said it was anyway. Allan honestly could not have cared less. What he did care about was the impression that she was a woman who had completely and utterly given up on life. Under her raincoat, she wore only a bra and panties, both of them cheap and mismatched with worn-out, sagging elastic.
Her emaciated arms and legs were peppered with weeping, infected track marks. She moved as if hypnotized, face mask-like and eyes far away. Going through the motions, like a person who was already dead and just didn’t know it yet.
Like a Casanova who sees a frigid woman as a challenge, Allan found himself profoundly aroused by her indifference. How sweet it would be to torture her and make her want to live again, only to see that fresh, rekindled hope die in her eyes as she realized that wasn’t going to happen.
“Why don’t you lie on the bed,” he told her. “On your stomach.”
She did what she was told.
He took out his knife and smiled.
19
“Institute for the Advancement of Bio-Spiritual Awarness,” Walter read off the small, unassuming sign above the buzzer in a urine-scented Berkley doorway, between a delicatessen and a head shop. “Sounds intriguing.”
“Sounds like some kind of cult,” Bell said. “You know, like est, or the Moonies, or something.”
“Doctor Raley’s not a guru,” Nina said, pressing the buzzer. “He’s a scientist. You’ll like him.” A muffled buzz and a click, and Nina pushed the door open. Walter and Bell followed her through.
Inside was a clean, modern waiting area with several groupings of orange and white plastic chairs and low Lucite tables strewn with a variety of interesting scientific journals and magazines. It looked not unlike an ordinary doctor’s office. A slender young Asian woman in a lavender pantsuit was sitting behind a desk and reading a dog-eared copy of Erving Goffman’s The Presentation of the Self in Everyday Life.
She stood when they entered and greeted Nina warmly.
“Hi, May,” Nina said. “These are my friends William Bell and Walter Bishop. They’re in town for the ABS Conference.”
“Nice to meet you both,” she said, reaching out a delicate hand to shake first Walter’s, then Bell’s. “I have a background in biochemistry myself.” She smiled, revealing gapped teeth. “I did my thesis on the circular dichroism of helical polypeptides, but more recently I’ve become interested in the use of biofeedback technology to regulate what up until now has been considered involuntary organ function.”
“Fascinating,” Walter said, utterly charmed by this lovely and studious young lady. “My colleague and I just presented a very well-received paper on hepatic microsomal drug-binding sites. Have you had any success using biofeedback to regulate other kinds of liver function? Perhaps we could compare notes sometime.” He reached into his pocket. “Necco wafer?”
“Walter...” Bell warned.
“Is the good doctor in?” Nina asked, suppressing a grin.
May reached out and selected a clove-flavored purple wafer from the roll. That was his favorite.
“Thank you,” she said, popping the candy into her mouth with what Walter swore was a flirtatious expression. Though he was the first to admit he was often wrong about such things. “Doctor Rayley is in the lab working on a new experiment. You can wait for him in the observation room, if you’d like. This way please.”
At that point, Walter was prepared to follow May anywhere, but he was disappointed to find that she had no intention of joining them. She just showed them to a door at the end of a long hallway, and then returned to her desk.
“I think I’m in love,” Walter stage-whispered to Bell, taking a lime Necco wafer off the roll for himself, before putting the package back in his pocket.
“I hardly think this is the time for sexual liaisons, Walter,” Bell said.
Nina said nothing, but her subtle smile and arched brow made Bell stammer and blush.
“Well,” he said. “I mean...”
“Come on,” she said, opening the door and ushering the two men inside.
The long narrow room reminded Walter of the viewing area adjacent to an old-fashioned operating theater, where medical students would observe various procedures, back before sterilization and the invention of closed circuit television cameras. There were three rows of stadium-like riser seats facing a large one-way pane the size of a movie screen. And, like an old-fashioned operating theater, there was a small group of enraptured young people with notebooks—students, presumably— observing the procedure occurring on the other side of the glass.
Walter stepped up to the glass to see what was going on in the adjacent room.
There were two subjects, both male and Caucasian, but that’s where the similarities ended. The man on the left was young and gangly, with an unfortunate beaky profile and long, sandy hair. The man on the right was older and pudgy, with a gleaming bald head and a weak chin hidden beneath a steely gray goatee. Each man was hooked up to a heart rate monitor that displayed the function of that organ for the students to observe.
The two were laid out on the sort of low-profile, bedshaped couches you might see in an analyst’s office, heads toward the middle of the room. In the center, sandwiched in the narrow space between two folding rice paper screens, was a third man.
He was in his mid-forties, with a thick shock of unruly white hair, large square glasses, and a jovial, slightly mischievous manner that r
eminded Walter of Willy Wonka in that film that had come out a few years back. He was dressed in a lab coat and was fiddling with a toaster-sized machine that sat on a spidery steel table. This, he assumed, was Doctor Rayley.
“What is he working on today?” Nina asked a young, redheaded man with a spare mustache and a Dr Pepper T-shirt.
“He’s synchronized the subjects heartbeats,” the young man said, “and is now seeing if one is able to control the frequency of the other.”
“Any success?” Walter asked.
“More luck with slowing than raising,” the Dr Pepper kid replied. “They tend to go out of sync once they go above a hundred beats per minute.”
“Well,” Walter said, “that’s still quite impressive, and potentially relevant for our own study. I’m particularly interested in the fact that he is able to achieve synchronization of subjects without the use of wires or electrodes to connect them either to the biofeedback machine or to each other.” He turned. “We must speak with him at once, Belly!”
“We can’t just barge in on an experiment in progress,” Bell replied.
“I suppose you’re right,” Walter admitted, chastened.
“It’s been an hour and forty-five minutes already,” the Dr Pepper kid said. “Shouldn’t be much longer now.”
Walter sat down on the far end of one of the risers, studying the machine in the center of the room and trying to work out its various components and functions. Trying to think of ways it might be adapted to serve their purpose. He unfolded the schematic he’d sketched out for Bell, and started making a few modifications.
Before he knew it, the experiment was over and the two subjects were attended to by nurses who checked them over thoroughly and helped them sit up. They both seemed upbeat, excited by their accomplishments and impatient with the nurses’ poking and prodding. Doctor Rayley embraced each of his subjects as if they were family, before allowing them to leave the lab.
He then disappeared through a hidden door and reappeared in the observation area, greeting each of his students by name and taking time to thoughtfully answer all of their questions. Bell had to grab Walter by the back of his collar to prevent him from barging over to accost Doctor Rayley with a hundred questions of his own.
But Nina had more subtle ways of attracting Doctor Rayley’s attention and within minutes, she’d drawn him into her gravitational field without even trying.
“Miss Sharp,” he said, arms wide. “To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?”
“I have some friends from out of town who are very interested in your biofeedback studies,” she said, allowing herself to be embraced and yet somehow not fully participating in it, like a cat tolerating a hug while waiting for food. “Walter Bishop, William Bell, this is Doctor Jeremey Rayley.”
“Yes, yes,” Rayley said extending his hand to both Bell and Walter. “A pleasure, indeed.”
“We are currently conducting a series of experiments not unlike your own recent work, involving the synchronization of multiple minds,” Walter blurted out. “We were hoping that you might allow us to borrow one of your devices, to test their use under very specific field conditions.”
“If it were anyone but Miss Sharp,” Rayley said. “I wouldn’t even consider letting one of my patented machines out of the building. But what you say intrigues me—I don’t mind telling you that I’ve been very interested in the use of biofeedback to control various brain functions. Particularly the more esoteric ones, such as...” He paused for dramatic effect, waggling his considerable eyebrows. “Telepathy and telekinesis. I know for a fact that those are specific topics of Nina’s personal studies.” He cast a glance in her direction.
“We will gladly share the results of our research,” Walter said, ignoring Bell’s warning glare. “As scientists, we are all in this together, aren’t we?”
“Ah, yes, quite right,” Rayley said. “Science, like love, should be free for all.”
20
They left the Institute for the Advancement of Bio-Spiritual Awareness with two large cardboard boxes filled with equipment and supplemental parts. There was barely enough room in the back seat of Nina’s Beetle to fit everything so Walter ended up having to hold one of the boxes in his lap for the drive back in to San Francisco.
He didn’t complain, though, and when Nina looked up at his reflection in the rearview mirror, she could practically see the wheels turning behind his eyes. He almost looked happy. She wished that she could share his enthusiasm, and sincerely hoped that this crazy plan of theirs would work, but all she could see were flaws and weaknesses.
They returned to the house, and Walter and Bell immediately went to work on modifying the biofeedback rig to Walter’s specifications. Nina tried very hard not to be bothered by the mess of wires and solder they made in her pristine bedroom, which offered a much more effective working space than the crowded basement.
After a time, she decided to go out for cigarettes.
Outside, the mess had been cleared out of the street, but the neighbors’ house was still in chaotic disarray, the missing wall along the front of the top floor covered by a flapping tarp. The place looked deserted, no sign of the family—the McBrides, she thought their name was. They must have gone to stay with relatives or friends.
She felt a slight twinge of guilt over what had happened to them, and to Mrs. Baumgartner, too, but quickly sloughed it off, focusing instead on planning ahead, running scenarios in her mind and picking them apart.
As she turned and headed down the block toward the liquor store, she lit the last cigarette left in the pack. The street seemed weirdly empty for midday. An occasional car trundled up the hill and past her. The only person in sight was a colorful bum that she saw almost every day, an eccentric local character nicknamed “Circles” by the people in the neighborhood.
He had a dozen colorful ribbons braided into his dirty beard and had earned his nickname because of his strange way of walking. Instead of moving in a straight line, he got from place to place by walking in a chain of tight circles. Sometimes it took him two or three hours just to travel the length of one block.
When he saw Nina, he executed a couple of agitated circles in her direction, waving his skinny arms.
“The man wants you!” he shouted. “You watch out! He’ll do it to you! I know!”
“How you doing, Circles?” she said with an indulgent smile, wrinkling her nose against the scent he emitted. She held up her cigarette. “I’d give you a smoke, but this is my last one. How about I give you one on the way back from the store, okay?”
“The man!” he said again. “He doesn’t think I know, but I know.” He tapped his temple with a black fingernail. “Nobody’s gonna tell me what I know!”
Clearly she wasn’t going to get through to him.
“See you later, Circles,” Nina said, waving with her cigarette hand and walking away, smoke trailing behind her.
Even though the streets were relatively empty, there was a small line at the liquor store, including an elderly woman who wanted to get input from everyone about which lottery numbers “felt most lucky.” Nina was about ready use a bottle of Tab to conk the old biddy on the back of her bouffanted head. But she wasn’t confident that the bottle would make a dent in that blue Aqua Net helmet.
The woman finally got her lucky numbers sorted out, and Nina finally got her two packs of Virginia Slims and her diet soda.
On her way out the jingling door, she stuffed the soda and one of the two packs of cigarettes into her purse, and then started to peel the cellophane off the second pack. She was planning to give one of the cigarettes to Circles, like she’d said she would, but as she turned to walk back to her house, she didn’t see him anywhere.
Strange, she thought.
Circles was so slow that it took him ages to get anywhere, and he had been in the middle of the block when Nina had talked to him. Yes, it had been a longer wait then she’d expected at the liquor store, but not more than ten or fifteen minut
es. It would usually take Circles at least an hour to cycle his way from the middle of the block to one of the cross streets.
No one on the block would have invited him into their house or car, smelling the way he did. The only place he could have gone was up the driveway on the left side of the shabby apartment building across the street from her place.
Curious, she waited for a car to pass, then headed over, open pack of cigarettes in her hand. But when she reached the mouth of the driveway in question, she paused.
It was broad daylight, and while her neighborhood certainly wasn’t the safest in the world, it was hardly a crime-infested war zone. There was no reason why she should hesitate about entering the alley.
But she did.
It just didn’t feel right.
Circles wasn’t visible from where Nina was standing, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in there. There were a large dumpster, some stray trash bags, and a stained, discarded twin mattress down at the far end. He easily could have been behind the debris. Probably just taking a piss. Or worse. And that was nothing she needed to see.
Nina looked down at the pack of cigarettes, then turned on her heel, tucking the smokes into her purse and heading back home.
* * *
“Aw, don’t go,” Allan whispered. “Come back and join us, Miss Nina Sharp.”
But she didn’t, and with conflicting emotion, he watched her walk away. On the one hand, he knew that the time wasn’t yet right for him to have her, and any deviation from the plan made him anxious, as if it might spiral wildly out of control. But there was another part of him that yearned for her without regard for all his cautious preparation.
He still knew next to nothing about the two hippies from Reiden Lake, but Nina Sharp, she had been easy to research. Starting with her registration for the cute little green Volkswagen Beetle, Allan had leapfrogged through her paper trail, eager to learn everything he could about her.
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