I nodded in understanding, but with that understanding also came the knowledge that he would be alone at the end. I wished more than anything that he’d let me stay with him, be there for him, to pick of the shattered pieces after she was gone, but I knew he never would. He’d made up his mind.
I squeezed his hand and blinked rapidly several times, trying to will the tears to stay in my eyes. I didn’t want him to know how much I was hurting, since it could never compare to what he was experiencing, but I was pretty sure he could tell. He always could read me better than anyone else.
I nodded a few times. “I don’t want to think about it either,” I said, not sure I could say much else without breaking down. There were a lot of things I didn’t want to think about.
God, how I would miss him. I fought with everything in me to keep it together, but knowing I would never see him again, it was just too hard. I wanted more than anything to just have one more perfect day with him, but I knew it wasn’t possible. He’d already made up his mind that we weren’t right for each other, and that was that. Plus he had more important things to focus on than a girl who fell way too hard for him when she should have known better.
“It really was a great summer,” he said then, his teary eyes meeting mine. “I’m so grateful that I got the chance to know you. You are truly a special person, Emily Cole, and I hope you find what you’re looking for, once you realize what that is. Just don’t lose sight of who you are – remember that.”
I nodded as tears flowed down my cheeks. He released my hand and set it back in my lap. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I knew in that moment just one thing I wanted, but it was slipping out of my grip. Out of instinct, and because I wanted to do it one last time, I reached up and cupped his cheek with my hand. He leaned into it, closing his eyes for a beat, as if letting some of his pain go for just a few moments.
“You’ll get through this, Zack. You’ll be okay,” I said, hoping he would see I was right.
He nodded a few times but didn’t respond. I wanted to tell him he could call me, but I didn’t think he’d want to do that. I didn’t think he’d want to see me again. He came by to see me to tell me goodbye, and he meant it.
“Please take care of yourself,” he said softy, before he leaned down to kiss me one last time, pressing his lips firmly against mine for a few seconds before he pulled away.
Then he walked off the porch to his motorcycle that was parked at the end of our driveway. I watched him ride away, and when he finally disappeared, I let the tears fall again, my whole body shaking as I cried uncontrollably on the front porch, wishing I could turn back time.
To be continued . . .
Work of Art
Only With You
Love is Madness
Paper Airplanes
Dancing With Monsters
Playing With Dynamite
Monsters in the Closet (Dancing With Monsters #2)
Haunted
Lost in Wonderland (Westside #1)
Lost Chances (Westside #2)
Lost to You (Westside #3)
Playlist
I listen to music constantly, so inevitably songs have a way of working themselves into my stories, but this was even truer with Broken Fairytales since music was an underlying theme all throughout the book. Below is a playlist of the songs I hear when I read the book. Of course, I had to leave out the Liar’s Edge songs because, as much as I wish they were a real band with real songs, they’re completely fictional. I can’t write music to save my life, and my guitar skills are even worse, so imagination will have to suffice for those songs, but all others are below are real. Some songs I referenced in the book itself, some Zack played, and others are just ones that I felt fit in nicely with the story. Enjoy!
Disloyal Order of the Water Buffalo – Fall Out Boy
This Too Shall Pass – OK Go
Move Along – The All-American Rejects
Glimpse – Liar’s Edge
Panic Switch – Silversun Pickups
Brick By Boring Brick – Paramore
Paradise – Coldplay
Welcome to Oblivion – Madina Lake
Sidewalks (Acoustic Version) – Story of the Year
All That I’ve Got – The Used
Architects – Rise Against
Paint it Black – The Rolling Stones
Hotel California – The Eagles
Shake it Out – Florence + the Machine
Yellow Ledbetter – Pearl Jam
Heart-Shaped Box – Nirvana
Just Like Anyone – Soul Asylum
Monster – Skillet
I’ve Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth – Fall Out Boy
Good Girl – Carrie Underwood
Runaway – Mat Kearney
Never Let Me Go – Florence + the Machine
Fall Away – Liar’s Edge
Halo – Haley James Scott
Only Girl (In the World) – Rihanna
Love Like Winter – AFI
Regret – Liar’s Edge
Something Beautiful – Needtobreathe
The Great Filling Station Holdup – Jimmy Buffett
Under a Paper Moon – All Time Low
Thank You – The Little Heroes
Mysterious Ways – U2
Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
Jump – Liar’s Edge
Heavily Broken – The Veronicas
Let Me Go – 3 Doors Down
Buried Castles
By Monica Alexander
ISBN: 978-1-4764-7818-0
Copyright 2012 by Monica Alexander
Cover image: © Markusunger / www.fotosearch.com Stock Photography
This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or personals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All Rights Reserved
No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the author.
The information in this book is distributed as an “as is” basis, without warranty. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this work, neither the author nor the publisher shall have any liability to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Buried Castles
By Monica Alexander
ISBN: 978-1-4764-7818-0
Copyright 2012 by Monica Alexander
Cover image: © Markusunger / www.fotosearch.com Stock Photography
This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or personals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All Rights Reserved
No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the author.
The information in this book is distributed as an “as is” basis, without warranty. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this work, neither the author nor the publisher shall have any liability to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you f
or respecting the hard work of this author.
Chapter One
Emily
“Angry much!” Rachel yelled over the music I was blaring.
I glared at her as she took it upon herself to turn down the Halestorm album I was listening to at top volume. She hadn’t been home when I’d arrived at our apartment at school, and faced with unpacking and the memories of the summer that I knew would surely flood me as soon as I opened my suitcase, I’d turned up my iPod player in the hopes of drowning out everything I wanted to forget. I hadn’t even heard her come in.
“It’s my new anthem,” I said blandly.
“And it’s not the least bit rage-filled,” she said, and I just stared at her. “You’re making fantastic progress, I see.”
“Grrr!” I growled, basically proving her point. I hadn’t made one bit of progress, but I was glad to have at least moved beyond depression to anger. It was a much more preferable state to be in, and at least I wasn’t crying.
I shook my head at Rachel as I threw the two t-shirts I was holding onto the floor. She recoiled away from me.
“All I wanted was a freakin’ summer vacation where I could just let go!” I yelled, as I yanked random clothes from my suitcase and threw them on the floor in a heap. “I wanted to relax, get a tan, read some books. I did not want to meet a guy, I definitely wasn’t looking to fall in love, and I sure as hell wasn’t planning on getting my heart broken!”
“Well, you did,” Rachel said, settling onto my window seat, far enough away from any projectiles that might leave my hands.
Thank you, Captain Obvious, I thought, as I shot her a derisive look.
“Hey, if it’s any consolation, your tan looks amazing,” she said in a poor attempt to pacify me.
“I’m done,” I said definitively, ignoring her comment.
“With?” she prompted, not following my thought process.
“Guys,” I said, yanking another handful of clothes from my suitcase.
Everything was dirty and smelled like the beach. I needed to wash it all. I hadn’t opened my suitcase in the week since we’d been home from the Outer Banks – the week I’d spent at my parents’ house crying my eyes out and avoiding anything that reminded me of the summer. I hadn’t been able to look at my clothes that I knew would remind me of Zack, let alone anything else that reminded me of him, so my suitcases had remained packed.
But Rush Week started tomorrow, and tonight I had to model my outfits for a panel of my sorority sisters who would deem them appropriate or not for the week’s events. I’d received the list of Rush events and suggested outfits via email the week before, along with an invitation to be at the house at 7 pm that night. There was a sundress I knew would be what they had in mind for our garden party theme on the first day, so I was being forced to unpack and do laundry.
I seriously hated this part of Rush, where five of my sisters judged and scrutinized everything down to the jewelry I picked out or the shoes I paired with a certain dress. It was a little archaic to ensure we all looked like little homogenous puppets with no sense of a personal style, but I guess we were representing Gamma Pi, so personal style went out the window. We’d all march out of the house with big smiles on our faces, dressed in some variation of the same outfit, all in the hopes that we’d attract the best pledge class on campus by the end of the week.
Bitter, party of one? Oh, that would be me.
Truthfully, I’d never really had an issue with outfit approvals in the past, nor had I really argued for diversity within the house, but this year, things were different. I was different. The summer had changed me, and I suddenly had the urge to set myself apart from the masses. I was honestly half-tempted to arrive in my black leather skirt and platforms just to make a statement, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to stomach wearing that outfit for a while. There were too many memories attached to that skirt and that night. I knew it would most likely remain buried in the back of my closet until I was sufficiently over Zack enough that I didn’t feel like vomiting every time I looked at it.
“You’re really done with guys?” Rachel asked. I could tell she didn’t believe me.
“Oh, I’m done,” I said, crossing my arms in front of my chest, appraising her as she lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out my open window. “I do not like feeling this way. I did not like being led on, and I do not feel like I can actually trust another guy ever again, so yes, I’m done.”
Rachel pulled her knees up to her chest. “Not all guys are like Zack, Em,” she said, and I knew what she was doing. I just didn’t want to hear it.
I put my finger up to stop her. “I don’t care. I am not interested in dating anyone – ever.”
She raised her eyebrows at me. “Yeah, I’m not buying that. You’re just hurting right now. Give it time. In a few weeks, I’m sure you’ll be saying yes to one of the many guys who will be waiting in line to ask you to their Woodser or Biker Bash now that you’re single.”
“I will say no to each and every one of them,” I said, crossing my arms defiantly in front of my chest. “I do not want a boyfriend. I don’t need the hassle. I’m just going to focus on school and that’s it.”
“That’s it?” she asked, and I knew she was goading me. “You mean we can’t even go out and party? Come on, Fun Emily just made her debut. Don’t take her away from me already.”
“Fine,” I said, throwing my hands up dramatically. “I’ll hang out with you, but no boys. I refused to get my heart stomped on by another asshole.”
“Can Chase come with us?” she asked pleadingly, pouting for emphasis. “He’s a boy, but since he’s your brother, and he’s madly in love with me, he’s not a threat to you.”
I rolled my eyes at her. Ever since she’d come clean about her relationship with my brother, she hadn’t shut up about him, and it was starting to teeter on annoying.
“Fine, you can invite Chase, but if any other guys come around, he’d better show them the door, because I’m tapping out.”
I tapped my two fingers against the lip of my suitcase for emphasis.
She sighed. “Sweetie, maybe you can just have some fun – you know, enjoy some time with a guy and move on. You don’t have to commit to every guy who comes along. Maybe if you don’t get attached, it won’t be that bad. You can make the rules.”
I raised my eyebrows at her. What she was describing was exactly how she used to be with guys until she fell for my brother and decided she was done sleeping around. But she knew me better than that. I’d never been anything but monogamous. Casual sex didn’t interest me, and I wasn’t exactly sure I was capable of it – especially since I’d tried it with Zack and ended up falling in love with him. Stupid asshole.
Reaching back into my suitcase, I suddenly froze, my hands poised above the one item of clothing I’d completely forgotten about. There, stuffed in a corner, was Zack’s gray Duke University sweatshirt. I picked it up slowly, my fingers gripping the soft material as if it might disintegrate before my eyes. Aside from a few pictures and his guitar pick, it was the only thing I had to remind me that Zack and the summer had been real. Even though it had only been two weeks since I’d seen him last, it felt like months, and sometimes I found myself wondering if our brief time together had been real at all.
Yeah, it had been real. I had a heart that was cracked in two as a souvenir of just how real it all was. I’d fallen hard and fast for Zack Easton over the summer. And I’d thought he was falling for me too, but I was wrong.
My mind flew back to that last perfect night we had together before he disappeared on me. Sitting under the stars, making love and listening to him play his guitar. He’d given me his sweatshirt to wear when I got cold, and I’d never given it back. It still smelled like him, and the memories flooded back to me with reckless abandon. I tried to push them away.
I didn’t want to think about that night and what he’d said and how he’d held me, because not a week later, he’d completely negated everything he’d insinuated th
at night when he broke up with me. He made me think he’d never really felt anything for me at all, and for that, I didn’t want to think about him.
Not able to hold onto my resolve a second longer, I doubled-over and fell to my knees, clutching the sweatshirt to my chest as the sobs I couldn’t hold back racked my body. Within seconds, Rachel was beside me, her arms around me, but it did little to fill the hollow ache that was now all too familiar to me.
So much for moving past the crying stage.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay, sweetie,” she said, stroking my hair as the tears streamed down my face.
Two weeks. It had been two weeks since I’d seen Zack, since he’d let me go, since he’d told me that, essentially, he didn’t love me. Two weeks since I’d looked into his brown eyes so light they looked translucent at times. Two weeks since I’d kissed him and held his hand and felt the warmth of his body so close to mine. Two weeks since I’d felt that first pain in my chest; the tightening that told me we were over. Two weeks, and it still felt as fresh as it had that rainy day on the front porch of our beach house.
I curled tighter into a ball, falling forward onto my knees, the sweatshirt, pressed between my legs and my body, as in my mind I heard Zack tell me goodbye, and I watched him walk away from me.
Bastard! I wanted to scream, but doing that only told me I was being selfish. Zack was dealing with so much, and I couldn’t hold that against him. I could hate him and miss him and wish things had turned out different for us, but it didn’t change the fact that his mother was sick, and he was hurting because of that. Of course what stung the most was that now I had no idea how she was doing or how he was doing. Zack had cut ties completely. He hadn’t even wanted us to be friends, and that might have hurt worst of all. That was what made me think that even though he’d alluded that he wanted to end things because his mom was sick, there was another reason, but I would never know what that reason was.
Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns) Page 30
