Derrick slung his arm over my shoulder then, and I looked at him in surprise.
“You just need some beers and some funnel cake and a day with the boys, then,” he said. “Give him some time to cool off, and then call him tonight. It’s what I do when I really piss off a girl.”
“I’m not sure I want to take love advice from Derrick Chandler,” I said, grinning at him, honestly surprised that he was talking so openly about my relationship – if I could still call it that.
He pulled his arm back and shoved me, so I fell over on the bed. “Jackass,” he grumbled, but he was smiling.
“Give us an hour,” I said to Zack. “We’ll meet you at your dad’s house.”
“Um, we might need a little more time than that so we can swing by the emergency room,” Derrick said, and we all looked at him. “What? I’m not a pussy. I think my nose is broken for real, and I don’t want it healing all weird. This face is a money-maker.”
“Douchebag,” Leo muttered from across the room.
“I’ll take you to the hospital,” I offered.
“Thanks, man,” Derrick said, touching the tip of his nose and wincing.
“Hey, it’s my fault. I’d kind of be a dickhead if I didn’t help you out.”
“This is true,” he said playfully, and I laughed.
“Cool, Drew’s got Derrick covered. We’ll meet you idiots at the house,” Zack said, and I could tell he was happy things were going back to normal, even if he did think we were idiots.
We were. But we were idiots together, and that’s what made it great. I’d follow these guys anywhere. They were my family, and I loved them more than anything.
I did what I could in that moment to put Cole out of my mind, even though just thinking about him leaving made my stomach feel like there was a brick in it. Everything with the guys was good, but things with him were shit. It was like I just couldn’t have it all. Something in my life always had to be broken. But I wanted to fix it, make it whole.
When I got back to my room, and after I’d taken a shower, I sent Cole a text that I was sure he wouldn’t see until later since he was most likely on an airplane.
I’m sorry. I know you’re pissed, and you have every right to be. I was an idiot last night. But just know that I care about you a lot, and if you want to give me another chance, it would mean everything to me.
I hit send before I could back out, knowing it was the right thing to do.
Chapter Twenty-One
Andrew
After having a much needed break and just letting loose with the guys for two days, we were back in the studio on Monday for one last day of recording. Zack and Jonathan had approached the rest of us about an acoustic version of Without You, and we were all in, loving how it had sounded on the radio.
When we walked into the studio, Jonathan looked up from where he was sitting at the mixing board and just stared at us. “Well, I’m glad we’re not shooting a video today, because you two look like hell.”
I knew how bad I looked with a black eye and busted lip, but Derrick, with two black eyes, cuts and bruises all over his face and a piece of tape over his nose, looked ten times worse. He came behind me and put me in a playful chokehold, making me smile.
“Pretty boy pretty much kicked my ass on Saturday,” he said, grinning widely.
He’d been playful since we’d made up, just like he used to be. A part of me knew he was proud that I’d laid him out, and in a sick way, it had almost brought us closer together. I didn’t even mind him calling me pretty boy, since he’d pretty much called me that since the day he met me. I’d been preppy in high school, and with my ‘angel face’ as Jen had called it back then, I’d always looked more sweet than tough.
Thankfully, my look had gotten edgier over the years, and my face more angular, but I knew I was still pretty. Derrick teasing me about that actually felt normal, and it was a relief. At least something in my life was good. Even if I still hadn’t heard from Cole, at least stuff with the band was back to where it should be. But of course it didn’t fill that aching void that had been present since the morning I realized Cole had left.
I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t breaking my heart that he hadn’t called, but I’d sent that text. He knew how I felt. There was nothing else I could do. The ball was in his court. I just hoped he responded soon. I missed him, and I missed hearing his voice. But I knew I’d screwed up. It was all me, and there was nothing I could do to take it back.
“I’m assuming everything’s good with you two now?” Jonathan asked, and Derrick and I both nodded, his arm still resting around my neck.
“Good. Let’s keep it that way, shall we?”
“We will,” we said in unison, feeling like little kids being scolded.
“It’s a good thing I don’t have to do much pounding of the sticks today,” Derrick whispered to me when Jonathan turned away.
“Why’s that?”
He pointed to his nose. “This still hurts like a bitch.”
His nose was broken, but the doctor said it was a clean break, right down the middle, so there wasn’t much he could do. Derrick thankfully wouldn’t have to wear a splint, and the break should heal fine as long as he didn’t get into any more fights.
I started to open my mouth to apologize, like I felt inclined to do constantly, but he just laughed and clapped me on the back before walking over to talk to Jonathan. He really had no hard feelings.
“You two seemed to be getting along well,” Zack said, coming up behind me.
I turned to face him. “Yeah, it’s good.”
“I’m glad. You hear from Cole yet?”
I felt like Zack was always the peacekeeper in the band, always needing to make sure everyone else was doing okay.
I shook my head. “Nope, and I don’t think I will. It sucks, but what can I do?”
“I hear you. I thought the same thing when everything happened with Emily last year, but look how that turned out. Sometimes it just takes time for people to come around.”
I saw his point, but he and Emily also had six weeks together before they broke up. I’d been with Cole for a week and a half at best, and we’d only spent twelve hours physically together. Sure, it had been the best experience I’d ever had, and I knew how hard I was falling for him, but it didn’t mean we even had something salvageable.
A part of me knew that I just needed to get over him, and that made me sad.
* * *
When we left Charlotte, we all headed home. We’d been given a week off before practices and promotion of the new album would start again. Originally I had planned to spend that week with Cole, but now I was stuck in my apartment in Durham with not a lot to do. Sure, Derrick came over and we played video games, but by the third day, I was bored out of my mind.
We’d been touring and recording since April. Nearly six months of nonstop craziness, and it was hard to slow down. Zack and Emily were headed to New York for a long weekend. It was her birthday, and her twin brother lived in the city with her best friend, Rachel, so they were going to hang out with them. They’d invited me, but I just wasn’t up to being social, so I decided to stay home. Maybe I’d go to Leo’s bar and hang out with him, since whenever we weren’t doing band stuff, he was pretty much always there.
After sleeping in, I was lounging by the pool, trying to soak up some sun before it turned into fall and I had to succumb to being officially pale, when my cell phone rang. I figured it was Derrick wanting me to go out with him that night, which I wasn’t really in the mood to do, but figured I’d go anyway. Of course it wasn’t Derrick.
It was Cole, and I think my heart stopped beating for a few seconds as that registered with me. I almost didn’t answer the phone in time. Finally my brain engaged enough for me to press my finger to the screen and answer.
“Hello?”
“Hey. It’s Cole.”
Well that sounded formal as hell.
“I know. I have caller ID.”
“T
hen I guess I should be grateful that you picked up.”
“I suppose.”
I really wasn’t trying to be pissy with him, but he was sort of pushing my buttons being all cold and shit when he was the one who’d called me. And he’d walked out on me, which I probably deserved, but still.
“I’m sorry,” he said then.
“For what?”
Like I had to ask.
“Leaving like I did, not telling you why or responding to your text.”
“I know why you left. You don’t have to apologize. I get it. Is that all you called to say, or did you need something else?”
Two could play the formal and stilted conversation game.
He sighed. “Don’t be like this, Drew. Please.”
Grr. Fine.
“How do you expect me to be, Cole? You tell me you’re falling for me, and then I screw up, and yes, I understand how bad I screwed up, but you made your point when you walked out. There’s no need to grind it in any further.”
He was quiet for so many seconds that I actually thought we might have gotten disconnected. I pulled my phone away from my ear to see that we were still connected, his name and picture on my screen making my heart flutter. I put the phone back to my ear so I didn’t have to look at them any longer.
“Don’t be mad at yourself, Drew,” he finally said. “It’s not your fault. It’s me.”
Oh, hell no. He did not just use the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line. Come on!
“No, I do blame myself,” I said, taking the high road instead of countering his bullshit line. I figured it was better to own up to my mistakes. “I should have come right back to the room. I should have talked to you, but I didn’t do that. I got drunk, and I smoked, because, yes, I used to do that, and I still do it when I’m stressed. I know you probably think I’m an immature asshole, but I’m really not. It was just a momentary lapse in judgment, and I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I’m only human, but if that was more than you could handle, then I guess it is what it is.”
“Do you think I left because you were wasted?”
“Yeah, why else would you have left?”
He sighed. “Drew, do you know how many times I’ve fallen through my front door after I’ve been drinking or how many times I’ve drank my way through my problems? Hell, last month my best friend Josh had to come get me because I was drunk and making a scene at his bar. Trust me, I’m not one to judge for any alcohol-related screw-ups. Truthfully, I’m not a big fan of the smoking, because I don’t like the taste of it, but it wouldn’t have kept me from kissing you.”
My stomach tightened at the memory of what it was like to kiss him. So amazing. I really, really wanted to do it again. But then I realized what he was saying.
“Wait, then why the hell did you leave?!”
I started to worry then about what I might have not remembered doing while I’d been drunk. An endless number of things flashed through my mind.
“I panicked, okay,” he finally said.
Been there, done that. But I wasn’t sure why Cole had panicked. Whatever I’d done must have been pretty bad.
“About what?”
“Things just moved to fast. I wasn’t ready for it.”
“For what? Cole, I don’t understand. You’re the one who told me you were all into me, and you agreed to be exclusive and do long distance. What exactly did you freak out about?”
“You told me you loved me.”
Huh?
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, you did.
“No, I definitely did not do that.”
“You did. Right before you passed out, you said it, and I freaked. I like you so much, but holy shit, at that point, all I could think was that we barely knew each other. I couldn’t fathom how you could love me so soon.”
And there it was. The shit I say when I’m drunk that I wish I could take back.
“I don’t!” I said, probably harsher than was necessary, but I was kind of emotional at that point. “I was drunk. I was out of my mind, and–”
“Let me finish,” he commanded, so I instantly shut up. “I freaked out, but then I realized how stupid it was to do that. We’ve known each other for so much longer than we’ve actually been together. I’ve honestly known you were the guy I wanted, even on a subconscious level for over a year, and when I was away from you this week, it sucked so bad. And I realized that . . . I love you too.”
My eyes went wide behind my aviators. I was glad no one was at the pool since it was a Thursday afternoon and everyone was at work, because I was about to have a nervous breakdown.
“You do? Seriously?! But how? How is that possible? What the hell?!”
I was spluttering like an idiot, because he’d really just dropped the L-Bomb on me. Ho-ly shit.
“Andrew, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, inside and out. You’re kind and caring and a good friend, you’re sexy as hell, and being with you has made me happier that I’ve been in my whole life.”
I started to fan myself, realizing how hot it had gotten sitting in the sun, and it wasn’t even that warm out.
“And you look utterly adorable when you do things like fan yourself when I get you all hot and bothered.”
I froze when he said that. “What do you mean? How did you know I was doing that?”
“Let’s just say I know you better than you think,” he said, and when he laughed, I heard it in stereo.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
He laughed again, and I spun around to see him standing outside the fenced in pool area wearing cargo shorts, a navy blue t-shirt, a backwards baseball cap and aviators, looking sexier than I ever imagined possible.
I dropped my phone, not caring where it landed, and walked over to the gate – truthfully I had to restrain myself from full-on running, because I had to maintain some cool points, but I was tempted as hell. Cole smiled when I opened it for him and let him inside. Then I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug, just wanting to be as close as I could at that point.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” I said, as my arms held him tight.
“You smell incredible, babe,” he said, as he held me just as tight, his arms feeling like the comforting support I knew I needed. “Like suntan lotion and the sun and you. I missed this.”
“I missed you,” I said, as I pulled back to look at him. He was smiling, and it made me smile back. “What the hell are you doing here? How did you even know where I lived?”
He shrugged. “I made a few calls. I had to see you. I knew once I called, seeing you was going to be all I’d want, and I couldn’t stand the thought of waiting. I didn’t know if you were going to be rehearsing this week or if you could even get away, so I decided to come to you. I just missed you, and I figured if you tried to reject me, it would be harder to do once you saw me in person.”
“I’d never reject you,” I said softly, my arms looped around his waist.
“You were pretty bitchy when I first called. I wasn’t so sure that I wasn’t going to get shot down.”
I looked down at the ground for a few seconds. “I was afraid you were calling to officially end things. I didn’t want that.”
He reached out and tilted my chin up with his index finger. “I don’t want to end things, babe. Truthfully, I don’t ever want to not be with you, and if that scares you, I don’t care, because you’re not getting rid of me – ever.”
“Are you serious?”
He nodded. “Yeah, this is it for me, I think. I’m thirty-two. I’m ready to settle down with someone, and I think I’d like that person to be you.”
“But you live in Tampa,” I reasoned.
He shrugged. “That can always change.” He looked around then. “I like this area. It might be nice to have four seasons for a change.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, but my heart was about to burst open it was so full. I don’t think anything he said could have made me happier. “You’ve only bee
n here for five minutes.”
He smiled. “My sister lives in Raleigh, remember? I’ve been here before.”
“But,” I said, trying to poke holes in what he’d said before. “You do realize that we’ve just started seeing each other, and you’re telling me you love me and you want to move here and be with me forever?” Why the hell was I questioning him? I wanted the same things. Who cared how long we’d known each other. “Are you sure? You have a business and friends. Why me?”
Yup, that was the question I’d really been thinking the whole time. How could he know that he wanted all of that with me.
He stepped closer to me. “I’ve never been surer about anything in my entire life. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been together. I know that I’m never going to want more than what I have with you, because being with you is perfect. It’s what I’ve always imagined in a relationship. You’re home for me, Andrew. It doesn’t matter where we live. I can work from anywhere. I’m the architect. Sean’s the one who handles the on-the-job stuff. I already talked to him about this, and he’s good with it.”
“You talked to him about us?” I was kind of touched by that.
He smiled. “Yeah, I did, because I was miserable without you. He’s the one who convinced me to come here, to make a grand gesture, because I was being a pussy and was afraid to tell you that I want everything with you. I want to be here with you. I can travel back to Tampa if I have to for work or if I want to see my friends, but I don’t want to have to travel to see you if I can help it. And maybe it’ll make things a little easier for you if you know you have someone waiting for you when you get off tour.”
Holy shit. He’d put a lot of thought into this.
“You would seriously do that for me?”
He leaned forward and kissed me then, giving me my answer without using any words. “I would do just about anything for you, Andrew Bryce,” he murmured against my lips.
He pulled me against him, the hardness of his body feeling more comforting than anything in the world. And that was when I melted, right into a puddle on the ground. I never in a million years would have thought that I’d end my crappy day in the arms of the man I loved – and yeah, I loved him – even though I was still afraid to say it. Apparently my subconscious knew it before I did, and even though I’d initially regretted telling him while I was drunk, it probably ended up being the best thing I could have done.
Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns) Page 85
