Reno grinned at her. “Your reputation precedes you.”
“You’re talking to the woman who created it.” Kari let go of Reno and squeezed my hand. “Girls night soon. I miss you.”
**
Reno Romano was not the most intimidating person I’d meet with that day. Juggling two TV shows was more work than I ever expected, and Raven had locked herself in her room by the time I came home every night that week. Every night I’d talked at her door, and shuffled back to my bedroom with burning eyes and an aching heart when she brushed me off.
Not tonight.
I cleared the rest of my schedule as a work-at-home day. Raven’s mouth dropped when she walked into the living room after school and saw me sitting there. I was working on Reno’s design with my favorite eighties hair bands blaring from my computer as my soundtrack.
I shut the music down. “Want to get cupcakes?”
Raven hesitated.
“Come on. You’re never mad enough to say no to chocolate.”
She fought her smile, but the corners of her mouth betrayed her. “You’re right.”
One of the reasons I loved living in the city was we could actually walk to things. It wasn’t obnoxiously cold out that day. On the way there, I attempted small talk, testing the waters. She opened up more than I expected, telling me about her new graphic design class. I had no idea what she was talking about, but that wasn’t the point. She was actually talking. To me.
I waited until we ordered to get down to business.
“Listen, I know you’re having a hard time with how I met Jagger. I struggled with it, too. Remember how upset I was after the reunion?”
Her eyes widened behind her cupcake. She’d been about to take a bite. “You want to talk about this here?”
“Not particularly, but this is the only place you won’t run off on me.” I sighed. “No one’s paying any attention to us. I can’t stand the silence anymore, Raven. I don’t need your permission to live my life, but I want you to understand my choices.”
Her gaze fell to her plate. She was clearly uncomfortable.
“I was your age when I started dating your father. The playing field was even back then. Everybody was starting out, having all their firsts at the same time, and making mistakes. I felt pretty smug about my life choices since I married the first guy who asked me on a date. I got it right. Things were really good—until they weren’t. I don’t have to tell you about that part. You were there. Leaving your father was the absolute scariest thing I ever did. I was taking you out of your home. All I’d ever had was a part-time job a kid could do. But I couldn’t live with someone who treated me like that. I was angry and bitter. Not so much about Shelley—she can have him—but about all the time I realized I wasted. Not standing up for myself. Keeping my mouth shut when I should’ve spoken up. And once I’m back in that environment, it’s easy to slip back into my old habits.”
“What does this have to do with Jagger?”
I licked frosting off my fingers. I hadn’t meant to go off on a tangent, but it all made sense. “I’ve been dating the whole time we’ve lived in Washington.” I totally expected the nose wrinkle. “Trying to, anyway. The playing field isn’t so even anymore. We’ve all got baggage and things we regret at this stage of the game. There’s usually a reason why someone’s starting over, even if they don’t know what it is yet. I hope you never have to date in your thirties. To make a long story short, it sucks. Eventually, I gave up, figuring what was meant to be was meant to be. But there was no way I was going to that reunion alone. Jagger was just supposed to be my cover story, but that’s not what happened.”
“But he’s been with hundreds of women. And they paid him.” Raven was still making faces. “Doesn’t that bother you?”
“It does.” I wasn’t going to lie to her. “But I paid him, too. I was sick of wasting time, and coming home feeling empty. Like there was something wrong with me. And there’s no guarantee that a guy I met somewhere else would’ve had fewer partners. That’s exactly my point. Nobody’s perfect. But some people are pretty damn good. Those are the ones you keep, no matter what, because you know they’ll do the same for you.”
“Ma, it’s gross. It’s...dirty. The two of you are all over each other. I don’t need to see that. Nobody does.” She shuddered.
“Probably not.” I thought we’d done pretty good at keeping our hands to ourselves in front of her. Guess that needed some work. “But he’s not gross and he’s not dirty.”
Raven raised an eyebrow.
“Take my word for it,” I said. Raven would wither and die if I told her Jagger got tested for STDs regularly. My comfort level with this conversation was shaky, as well.
She sighed. “Is he going to move in with us? Or you move down there?”
“Not right now.” But the ache in my chest grew more intense every day we were apart. Seeing Kari with Reno solidified it. “We’re still getting to know each other. So he’ll come visit, and I’ll do the same.”
“What about me?”
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“You’ll be in Miami all the time, or he’ll be here.” She looked away from me. “Christmas sucked. It was all about you and Dad fighting and you sucking face with Jagger. It was so awkward. Then you forgot about me at Dad’s house.”
“I did not forget you.” That broke my heart. This Christmas had been one of the best holidays I’d had since Raven was a little kid, because I felt whole again. I didn’t realize to feel that way, I’d taken away from my daughter.
“Yes, you did! I asked you to come get me before the storm got bad, but you were busy with Jagger and then the roads were too bad for you to drive over. I didn’t want to be at Dad’s. I wanted to hang out with you.”
All those text messages she sent during the storm I thought were cute had a totally different meaning. “That’s not the way I meant it. Things will be different now we’ve added another person to the mix. But I never meant to leave you out. And you know I’d never ship you off to you father’s house and forget about you. I’d rather have you with me, even if what I’m doing grosses you out.”
I hoped to make her laugh. No such luck.
“You’ll be at college soon. It won’t matter to you if I go visit Jagger or he comes to see me. You won’t be here.”
She frowned but didn’t say anything else.
“Something else is bothering you.” I wanted to get everything out in the open. Otherwise, it would fester and kill everything good.
Raven bit her lip, searching for her words. “I think he’s lying to you. What if he’s scam artist and he’s after your money? It skeezy.”
Kari said the same thing in not so many words. No. Jagger didn’t lie. He’d come from the same place I had, full of vulnerability and candor. “Your father lied to me.”
She took a moment to consider that. “I didn’t think of it that way.”
“Of course not. And that’s why you shouldn’t judge Jagger because of what other people told you about him. You know better than that. Before Christmas, the two of you got along great. The next time he comes to visit, I expect you to treat him with respect. He’s a guest in our home.”
Raven twisted her hands in her lap. “I’m sorry.”
“One more thing,” I said when we got outside. “If something’s bothering you, from now on, say it. Running from the problem doesn’t solve anything. It only makes it worse.”
She stopped dead in her tracks, hands shoved in her jacket pockets to protect her from the cold, cute slouchy hat covering her half purple, half non-existent hairdo. I wished Jagger was there with his camera. Raven had always been adorable, but somewhere under my radar, she’d become truly beautiful. Full of all the promise I was desperately trying to get back. And not because I was biased. She took my breath away when I looked back at her.
Raven bit her lip, frowning, and looked down at her feet as she kicked her boots against the sidewalk. “I hate the
way Dad’s talking about it. What if everyone thinks that way? I do like Jagger. But...”
She didn’t finish her thought. She didn’t have to.
I expected Raven to stiffen when I hugged her. After all, we were in public. But instead her body relaxed and her arms slipped around my waist. I took advantage of the moment, it wasn’t often I got to hug my baby anymore. “Don’t worry about what other people think. All that matters is the truth. And when you find someone who makes you happy, don’t let them go.”
And that included my daughter.
Chapter Eight
Jagger
“Come to Miami.” I didn’t waste time with small talk. As soon as Leah’s image popped on the screen, I made my request. We’d gone from FaceTime to Skype. Simple reason for that—the bigger screen. I wanted all of Leah, all the time. She always started in the same position. On her stomach, chin in her hands, ankles crossed and in the air. The low light from her lamp on her nightstand shined in the background, breaking through her wild curls.
Something inside me rumbled like thunder when appeared every night.
“I can’t stand being away from you anymore.” Leah reached out and touched the screen. She always did that. It made my heart stop like her fingers were actually brushing against my skin. “Voting’s started on the new show, which I totally need your opinion on. I’m working you either way, so you might as well get paid for it. Just saying. And I got my next Great Start Today client. It’s—”
“You can tell me about it when you get down here.” I stood up and took off my shirt. We did this every night, too. “We’ve been together for two months. You’ve never been to my house.”
Leah deflated. “I don’t know when I can come.” She licked her lips, and my cock was going crazy. I liked to sit on my balcony when we talked. I needed all the air I could get. She softened, and the smile was back. “Get this, we’re working with—”
“What did I just say?” I was dying to know what was going on, but the tease was working for both of us. We’d both get what we wanted.
“You ordered me to come visit you. And I’m trying to tell you why it will be hard to schedule.”
“I’ve come every time you asked me,” I reminded her. “And this is the first time I’ve asked you. Don’t think for a second I just came up with this plan. It’s all I can think about. I see you everywhere I go.”
I loved that smile. “Yeah? Tell me what you see,” she practically purred. And in case I needed my memory jogged, she sat up, following my lead, and pulled her shirt over her head. The bra disappointed me at first, but once she settled and came back into focus, the tease of the sheer lace, the hint of her nipples straining against it, made my mouth water.
It was my turn to touch the screen. The flat surface confirmed our distance. Her nipple should’ve tightened under my touch. “Wynwood is full of color, there’s art everywhere. You’d love it. It’s sexy and bold. The curves, the shapes, the music. It makes me think of your body, and I want to touch you, but when it’s flat, like this screen, it just reminds me how far away you are.”
Leah sighed. “I know what you mean. What I’ve been trying to tell you is that I met with Kari and Reno today. Watching them together, their energy...I could practically feel you, but it made me so sad that you weren’t here.”
“How could you feel me?” I unbuckled my belt and Leah gasped, scraping her teeth along her bottom lip as I continued the strip tease. No one could see me up here. Concrete walls separated me from my neighbors, and I was high enough up that no one could figure out what I was doing from street level. The things I’d do with Leah on this balcony. I couldn’t wait.
Her lips spread into a slow smile. “If I were there I could take care of that for you.” She nodded when I put my hand on my cock. “It’s fun to watch you do it, too. Back to your question. I could feel your breath on my neck, Jagger. I could’ve sworn you were about to kiss me.”
“Then come.” It was hard to concentrate with my dick throbbing, wishing I could put it inside her. I could feel her too; her hot, wet heat pulsing around me. But she wasn’t here. My cock deflated. Leah opened her mouth to protest, but I cut her off. “The only way this will work is if we become a part of each other’s lives. Like a real couple. I quit my job—”
“I didn’t ask you to do that. The only way this will work is if you don’t hold that against me every time something doesn’t happen the way you want it to.” Leah’s mouth settled into a hard line. She’d never been mad at me before. As far as I knew. “I resented Rich for a long time because he held me back. I know you don’t want to hear about him. I’ve failed once. I don’t want to do it again. I won’t hold you back, Jagger. I know you’ve been struggling since you went back to Miami. I can see it. Let me help you.”
I shook my head, looking off-screen. “I can’t take that job.” For exactly those reasons.
“It doesn’t have to be my job. Do whatever makes you happy. The money will come. Trust me.” Neither of us said anything for too long.
Leah broke the silence. “I want to come see you. I’m just overwhelmed right now.”
“Which is the perfect reason to get out of dodge.” I leaned forward, like maybe I could touch her. “I haven’t done this in a long time. And I’m actually glad we’re arguing. We’ll say what we really think. This won’t be easy until one of us decides to move to the other one. Then we’ll have new issues. But there’s got to be some compromise.”
“Our first fight.” Leah laughed softly. “I guess the make-up sex will have to wait until I get down there.”
Yes. “I won’t be able to keep my hands off of you when you get here.” Thinking about it brought the life back to my cock. “I can’t wait to wake up with you in my bed.”
She scoffed, rolling her eyes playfully. “The last thing I want to do in your bed is sleep. I expect to have quite the introduction to your bedroom. Every time we’ve had sex in a new place, it’s been pretty incredible. You’ve set a precedent.” Her finger brushed against the screen. “Let me grab my planner so we can figure what works for both of us.”
We picked a weekend at the end of the month. Leah wasn’t kidding about her schedule being full. She rattled off her commitments, and it sounded just like my old schedule. All I’d wanted was time to myself when it was happening, but now I wanted it back. I was being too hard on myself, it had only been a couple weeks since I quit escorting. With all my endless excuses about why I stayed in, now I realized it was because I didn’t have a plan once I was out.
“I’m so excited about this. I can’t wait,” Leah said, blowing me a kiss before the screen went black. I missed her already. Fuck, I always wanted what I couldn’t have.
Chapter Nine
Leah
Palm trees made me ridiculously happy. I associated them with vacation since that was the only time I ever saw any. I closed my laptop and dug my phone out of my bag to take a picture out the airplane window of the palm tree and sent it to Jagger. I am minutes away from kissing you, I wrote.
I had time to get myself together while everyone got their stuff out of the overhead bins. I worked the whole flight to Miami and raced to turn on my auto-responders before I lost the internet. The only thing I cared about this weekend was Jagger.
It didn’t matter that this was a bad time, juggling all the work stuff, I had to come. It wasn’t fair to expect Jagger to always come to me. He’d done the all the heavy lifting so far travel-wise. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy. Seeing him was always exciting, a stolen moment, but being on his turf scared me. It could change everything. What if against this backdrop, he didn’t see me the same way? If I didn’t fit in his life? I’d never done a long distance relationship before. I shouldn’t have anything to worry about, but as I walked through the airport, my belly clenched with doubt.
I got lost trying to find baggage claim, I was in such a daze. Jagger waited for me at the bottom of the escalator. It took everything I had not to push through the p
eople ahead of me to get to him. He pulled me into his arms as soon as he could reach me. People bumped into us, muttering, but I didn’t care. My lips were on his, and immediately I knew I was where I belonged.
“You’re brave,” I said when we stopped kissing. It was funny, I knew every inch of his body, but distance had dulled my senses. The electricity surprised me every time as it flowed between us, threatening to become something dangerous if left unchecked. “This is scary.”
Jagger cocked his head, confused. “What are you talking about? You travel all the time.” We walked to the baggage carousel hand in hand. “Unless you’re afraid of flying. Is that why I had such a hard time getting you down here?”
“No, it’s not that. You were always going to something unknown. It’s...” I stopped to grab my bag. Jagger beat me to it. I was pretty flustered. “Everything’s always been on my terms. What if—“
He took my face in his hands and kissed me before I had a chance to finish my thought. “You’re kind of a control freak.” He smiled against my lips. His voice was low and husky. “And I like it.”
I laughed. “Nope. Not this weekend. I completely surrender to you.”
“I like that even better.” We were close enough that his erection was obvious against my belly. “You won’t be sorry.”
The sunshine kissed my skin as soon as we got outside. I had to be careful, in paradise with this man, I could easily become addicted. And my life was somewhere else...
Stop it, I told myself. See where the weekend takes you.
Jagger’s car was as sleek and sexy as he was. I peeked in before getting inside. The backseat was tiny. “Damn. No room for a quickie.”
“It wouldn’t be a quickie, Leah.”
Everything inside me fluttered. The current was different on Jagger’s turf. Much more sensual, like either of us had been able to think of anything else since we’d last seen each other. Or we were trying to distract ourselves from the truth.
He took me to a restaurant on the beach. Palm trees shaded the outdoor deck, with sand below us, and the ocean going on forever. It was beautiful. Almost as beautiful as my host. Sunglasses pushed his long hair away from his face. His shoulders were broader than I remembered, and his T-shirt strained against his muscles. This was the place he belonged. So many things made sense now.
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