While he worked, Jared couldn’t slow his racing thoughts about the determined woman beside him. If she wanted, she could stick to safer duties and chores expected of women. Or tonight she could have cowered in a corner while her father took charge. Yet she’d beaten him and Cal out the door, rushing to save Mr. Sharp from losing valuable livestock, not to mention save him a great deal of pain.
As he thought more about it, he remembered why he’d courted her in the first place. When she got all gussied up for church, she outshined every other female in the congregation. Yet in this moonlight she looked mighty fine in those dusty, oversize trousers, cooing like a mourning dove to the frightened sheep as she separated them from the barbs, taking a few minutes to commend the guard dogs and promise them steak in the morning. Tough as nails and fully feminine at the same time. She knew and loved this land and wouldn’t be likely to leave it. How could a man not admire a woman like that?
At last exhaustion forced them all back to the house for a few hours of sleep before church. In the morning, chores came first, of course. Jared convinced Emma that he and Cal could take care of the sheep and guard dogs while she helped her ma. To his surprise, she accepted the offer. Even gave him a sweet smile that caused all sorts of odd feelings to tumble through his chest. Was that the sign he’d prayed for? Pop would say a man should never make a decision based on feelings. But how could Jared know what to do?
At the sheepfold, the dogs devoured the chunks of beef and gratefully licked the hands that fed them before settling down to gnaw on bones.
The brothers returned to the house to find the Sharp ladies had a breakfast feast spread across the kitchen table. When Emma poured coffee for everyone, Jared had to pull his lips between his teeth to keep from whistling at how nice she looked.
She wore her pretty blue dress, the one like Julia’s, only different. Whereas Julia’s had all sorts of lacy ruffles and ribbons like the ones most of the girls at church wore, Emma’s getup looked simpler. The only decoration was a single dark blue ribbon around the high neckline. It seemed to him that Emma’s dress suited her. He couldn’t exactly use the word elegant to describe her appearance, short as she was, but refined seemed about right, especially when she stood up as tall as her height allowed. Nobody seeing her at church this morning would believe she’d been out in the middle of the night untangling sheep from barbed wire.
He’d never before noticed such things about a lady’s appearance. After living in a house full of men all his life, his eyes had been opened to something new. Maybe this was the sign he’d prayed for. But how could he be sure?
*
Emma and Julia sat behind Ma and Pa in the surrey. Emma felt both sad and grateful that Pa had been able to save it from the fire. Otherwise they’d have to take a wagon, which would be harder on Pa’s hip.
After they’d gotten all of the animals out of the barn, he’d gone back in to retrieve this fine buggy he’d been so proud to buy just last spring after sheep-shearing. But when it proved heavier than expected, he’d pulled too hard on the traces, fallen and twisted his leg clear out of the hip joint. Yet he’d limped out of the burning barn, pulling the surrey to safety.
The doctor from Riverton had reset his hip, yet it still pained Pa considerably, bad enough to keep him from working on the new barn. To hear Pa tell it, though, it had been worth it to save the conveyance so he could take his “girls” to church in style. She wouldn’t hurt Pa’s feelings by disputing what he said, so she put on her happiest smile and tugged her warm woolen cape closer around her cheeks to keep out the cold wind.
Just looking at Jared brought another kind of warmth to her face. He wore a white Sunday shirt, a black bolo tie and a blue-and-red-plaid winter jacket, and looked so handsome as he rode his horse beside the surrey. Although she hadn’t told him, she was deeply grateful to him. Last night he hadn’t been obliged to go out in the cold to save the sheep, yet he had. Well, and Cal, too. But he had more interest in protecting Pa’s property considering he’d soon be part of the family.
As far as Emma was concerned, Jared had proved his character over these past few days. Yes, he jilted her, but maybe after those picnics and outings she’d enjoyed so much, he’d decided they weren’t suited to each other. She could forgive him. Wish him well. Hope he found the woman of his dreams.
No, that was going too far. Instead, maybe she could figure out how to be that woman, so long as she wasn’t expected to change too much. She couldn’t mince around like the other girls. Couldn’t simper and give false compliments. Winning a man’s attention and admiration was an art she’d never even tried to acquire. She’d feel foolish trying now.
But then, maybe Julia was right. Maybe Jared already loved her. What could she do to get him to say so? She might not always come up to Ma’s standards of ladylike behavior, but she did hold fast to one of those lessons: she wouldn’t chase after any man, not even Jared Mattson. If he wasn’t attracted to her, as Julia insisted he was, then it was hopeless. Her only consolation came from knowing he’d be with her family for another week. That was plenty of time for a man to decide his feelings and speak up about them.
For now, she needed to turn her thoughts toward the Lord. She and her family had a good deal of blessings to be thankful for, especially this past week. In spite of losing their barn, no animals died and Pa would heal soon. Through it all, they’d learned how much their neighbors cared for and respected them. People from both the Mexican and Americano communities had offered time and resources. Even Yankees and Southerners had put aside bitterness left over from the War Between the States, and tomorrow a passel of men would arrive for the barn raising.
Only God could bring about such unity in this diverse community, and it was all because of Pastor Daniel and Brother Miguel, the minister from the Spanish mission across the road from Grace Church. The two preachers had decided years ago it was their responsibility to bridge the gap between the longtime settlers and the newcomers. Through their wise teaching, folks had learned to respect land boundaries and one another. As Brother Miguel often said, “Love your neighbor, as the Lord commands, and not just those who agree with you.”
The surrey pulled up to Grace Church, and folks they hadn’t seen since last Sunday surrounded them to offer words of sympathy and encouragement. Several ladies placed food baskets in the storage box on the back of the surrey for tomorrow.
“Much obliged.” Ma blinked back a few tears. “I wondered how I was going to feed all those fellas who’re coming to help with the barn raising tomorrow.”
When several men expressed dismay over the fire, Pa brushed off their condolences with his usual wry humor. “Just because my Christian name is Job don’t mean I’ve suffered more than anybody else around here. My family’s all safe and well. That’s what matters.” Despite the strength of his words, he let Jared and Cal help him and Ma down from the surrey.
While Jared attached a lead rope to the horse’s halter and tied it around the hitching post, Cal lifted Julia down. Emma scooted over, her pulse racing with uncertain hope. Would Jared lend her a hand? From the corner of her eye, she saw Patrick Ahern headed in her direction. Conviction told her not to accept his help or even grin at him as she had yesterday. If she did, she’d be no better than Jared when he’d courted but then jilted her, encouraging feelings that weren’t returned. She started to climb down on her own, but Jared was there before she could blink.
“Mind if I help you?” His gray eyes held a note of doubt, but his gloved hands were already moving toward her waist. He grasped and lifted her easily with a grip so strong she hardly needed to steady herself by clutching his shoulders.
“Much obliged.” To her consternation, her words came out breathlessly.
He must have noticed, because he got that cute grin on his face that made her heart trip all over itself.
To make matters worse—or maybe better—he held out his arm. “May I escort you?”
She took it gladly, could even allow that Jul
ia might be right about his feelings for her.
“Ahern.” He nodded to Patrick, and his voice dripped with triumph.
Emma huffed out a cross breath. So this was nothing more than a competition between the two of them to see whom she was partial to. Her growing happiness disappeared, replaced by cold reality. At least Patrick had been honest enough to admit he was interested in Pa’s land and not her. Had Jared decided that wasn’t a bad idea? Was he planning to court her again so he could get the ranch? If so, he’d be sadly disappointed.
She wouldn’t shame Ma and Pa by giving him a piece of her mind right here in front of the church when she should be thinking about worshipping the Lord. But tomorrow she’d make sure her team won the barn-raising competition. After that, the day she said goodbye to Jared Mattson couldn’t come fast enough to suit her.
Chapter Four
Women! Jared had been right about not marrying one of ’em. Even if Emma wasn’t the sort to leave her family, even if she loved the land and would stay on it if things got bad, what man could stand living with a prickly pear? One minute she was all sweet and thankful to him for helping her down from the surrey and offering his arm. The next she was as cold as the surrey wheels after traveling over two miles of frozen ground. She even ignored her mama’s instructions to sit by him and moved beyond her family to the other end of the pew. What had set her off?
Two things were sure. One was that he couldn’t wait to beat her in the barn-raising competition. Two, he couldn’t wait to get back home so he could make plans to move to Colorado.
He nodded to Pop, who sat across the small sanctuary with Jared’s other brothers and nephew. All except Will. Maybe his middle brother was still down in Espanola looking for a shepherd. Jared grunted. He’d sent Will to find help for Mr. Sharp, not to impress Emma. He had to admit, though, that he’d hoped she would look favorably on him for trying to solve the sheep problem. Now he refused to care. Even if Will was successful, she’d likely shrug it off.
“Good morning and welcome.” Pastor Daniel took his place at the front of the congregation. “Please turn to hymn number one, ‘Holy, Holy, Holy.’”
After that soul-lifting song, the minister invited them to bow their heads for prayer. Jared felt a guilty twinge in his chest. He’d been so focused on his troubles with Emma that he’d forgotten to prepare his mind for worship. The Lord had forgiven all his sins, but Jared wouldn’t use that as an excuse for failing to worship Him. He redirected his thoughts right away, joining in the next hymn with enthusiasm.
“Redeemed, How I Love to Proclaim It!” was a new song to Jared, written by Fanny Crosby, but he managed to read the music, thanks to Mama’s early teaching. If, as the third verse said, he thought of the Lord all day long, how could he go wrong? If he made the Lord’s “law” his delight, the Lord would lovingly guard his footsteps. No one could ask for more. On the last chorus, he attempted to follow Mr. Sharp’s bass harmony and was rewarded with a curious look from Emma. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it wasn’t a grimace, either, so he must have sung all right.
Maybe he’d been wrong about her mood. Maybe she’d sat so far away from him so people wouldn’t think they were courting again. If so, it was a smart thing to do and protected them both from gossip. He’d noticed when they came in that several younger ladies had cast curious glances their way, then huddled together and whispered who knew what. Didn’t everyone know he and Cal were staying with the Sharps to help with the barn? How could that cause gossip?
Jared had to work hard to turn his mind to Pastor Daniel’s sermon, but soon the minister’s words swept away all other thoughts. He preached from Galatians 3:13: “Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree.” Mrs. Crosby’s hymn had been the perfect choice for today. Pastor Daniel spoke at length about all that the Lord’s redemption meant, and Jared wished he’d brought paper and pencil to write down all those good ideas.
One Bible passage did stick in his mind and lift his heart. Hebrews 13:5 said, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” He needed this reminder every day of his life. No matter who abandoned him, the Lord would never leave nor forsake him. Neither would the Almighty turn prickly or distant for no reason. According to the Word of God, Jared could count on it. So he would.
Back at the Sharp ranch, while he and Cal fed the guard dogs, sheep and other livestock, the Sharp ladies fixed a tasty fried chicken dinner. After that, they all settled in for a relaxing afternoon in the parlor, everybody busy with their handiwork and sipping coffee. Unlike Pop, who forbade anything but the most necessary chores, Mr. Sharp didn’t mind his family and guests doing small jobs like mending clothes, whittling or oiling harnesses.
Jared liked that practical view of God’s day of rest. Sometimes he got the idea that Pop was either mad at the Lord or trying extra hard to please Him through living a perfect life—and making sure his sons did the same. Did Pop even listen to Pastor Daniel’s sermons? Had he heard the part today about being redeemed from the curse of the law? Jared prayed those holy words would seep into Pop’s brain and give him some joy and peace.
Without thinking, he began to hum the sermon hymn, and soon the family joined in. Mrs. Sharp pulled out her concertina to accompany them. After they finished “Redeemed,” she asked what else they’d like to sing.
“I always like ‘Amazing Grace,’” Mr. Sharp said.
Julia opened a hymnal and held it so her mama could see the notes and remind everyone of the words. After that, each person requested a favorite. Emma chose “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.”
Coming from a house that hadn’t heard any music since Mama left, Jared felt his heart just about burst with holy joy. This was what family life was supposed to be like, and seeing Emma’s love for the Lord helped him appreciate her a whole heap more. He just hoped he wasn’t one of those “griefs” that Jesus bore for her, as the song said. In truth, though, he knew all too well he’d brought her grief.
When they’d been in church this morning, he’d decided to shrug off his care for her, but here in her home, he couldn’t stick to that decision. Even if they didn’t court again, he’d have to make sure he didn’t hurt her a second time. Maybe he should let her win the barn-raising competition. On the other hand, that would let his crew down. He’d just try his best and leave the winning up to the Lord. After all, the rivalry was meant for fun. Yet he suspected winning meant more to Emma than it did to him.
Thinking back to Mr. Sharp’s Bible reading that first evening he and Cal were here, Jared wondered if letting Emma win would be like sacrificing himself for her, as Christ had for the church. Of course, he’d only be sacrificing his manly pride, not his life. He could manage that, couldn’t he? Especially since he’d damaged her womanly pride when he’d jilted her.
Yep, he needed to let her win but without telling Cal or any of his team. That would be the hard part, because everyone at church now knew about the competition. All those men had a stake in it now. They wouldn’t take kindly to him letting them down.
“Don’t push so hard, dear. Be gentle.”
Across the room, Emma now held the concertina while her mama gave her instructions on how to change an ear-splitting screech into a pleasing tone. The dogged look on Emma’s face was one he’d seen before. She meant to conquer the music box just like she meant to win the barn-raising competition. A mixture of admiration and consternation swept through Jared. My, this lady was feisty and determined and not a little proud. Somehow he didn’t think she’d take it kindly if he let her win. He had to put out his best effort just as she intended to do. Even if it meant he lost her good opinion forever.
Lord, how did I manage to get myself into this mess?
*
Emma had no idea why she’d asked Mama for a music lesson in front of Jared, especially since she didn’t seem to have that knack Mama had for bringing a pretty tune out of the squeezebox. Why set herself up for
teasing? She still hadn’t gotten over the way Jared had spoken to Patrick before church. Nor had she gotten over Suzette Pursers asking if they were courting again since they were at church together. Did Suzette want to know if it was all right to flirt with Jared? Well, she could go right ahead, even though deep down inside, Emma didn’t like the idea one bit. Suzette was a short, pretty blonde, just the kind of girl all the men buzzed around like bees. Why would she need to flirt with Jared? To prove she could catch the man Emma couldn’t keep, a man more than one other girl admired? Emma didn’t have any trouble understanding why he got all of that attention.
He was the handsomest of the five brothers, even though they all looked pretty much alike. Well, except that his grin was cuter than the others, and those gray eyes twinkled with mischief from time to time, unlike his dour oldest brother’s and their pa’s. Cal was spoken for, so he didn’t count. Jared enjoyed church, even seemed a tad more spiritual than any of the other Mattsons, if his enjoyment of the hymns and rapt attention to the sermon were any indication. All of that, and he was a hard worker and generous with his labor, as well.
Maybe she’d been too hard on him about Patrick. It wasn’t as though he’d started a fight with the cowboy. He’d just sounded a bit too proud because she’d chosen to walk into the church with him. He’d really done her a favor by warding off an unwanted suitor. So why couldn’t she spare him a kind word or at least a friendly smile?
It was his fault. If he hadn’t jilted her, maybe she could trust him. But the old saying, Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, kept coming to mind. She could trust him with the sheep, trust him with his share of building the barn. She just couldn’t trust him with her heart.
In the late afternoon horses’ hooves sounded in the barnyard. Everyone set aside their work and hurried down the hallway, through the kitchen and out the back door. Will Mattson and two companions dismounted from their horses. Two black-and-white sheepdogs and a pack mule accompanied the dark-haired young man and woman.
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