A Selection of Recent Titles by Chaz Brenchley
The Keys to D’Esperance Series
THE KEYS TO D’ESPERANCE
HOUSE OF DOORS *
The Selling Water by the River Series
BRIDGE OF DREAMS
RIVER OF THE WORLD
* available from Severn House
HOUSE OF DOORS
Chaz Brenchley
This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
First world edition published 2011
in Great Britain and in the USA by
SEVERN HOUSE PUBLISHERS LTD of
9–15 High Street, Sutton, Surrey, England, SM1 1DF.
Copyright © 2011 by Chaz Brenchley.
All rights reserved.
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
Brenchley, Chaz.
House of doors.
1. War widows – Fiction. 2. World War, 1939–1945 – War
Work – Fiction. 3. Great Britain. Royal Air Force –
Airmen – Nursing home care – Fiction. 4. Haunted
Hospitals – Fiction. 5. Horror tales.
I. Title
823.9´2-dc22
ISBN-13: 978-1-78010-156-9 (ePub)
ISBN-13: 978-0-7278-8089-5 (cased)
ISBN-13: 978-1-84751-390-8 (trade paper)
Except where actual historical events and characters are being
described for the storyline of this novel, all situations in this
publication are fictitious and any resemblance to living persons
is purely coincidental.
This ebook produced by
Palimpsest Book Production Limited,
Falkirk, Stirlingshire, Scotland.
ONE
She had never really believed in the car.
There’ll be a car to meet you at the station. It was an absolute promise; but even in peacetime, it had been Ruth’s experience that other people’s promises were . . . contingent. Never her own, she was scrupulous about that. A promise was a promise. Even Peter, though, whom she had loved and trusted beyond measure, beyond reason: even he had made certain promises that turned out to be worth less than she had hoped.
And now, after Peter, in this world of war – well, she had apparently become someone to whom promises could be made carelessly, heedlessly, with no real intent behind them. A woman, a widow, a nurse. There was nothing in her life or situation, nothing in herself to give her weight or influence. Nothing in her sense of self. She had no family to back her and no money, no position, no authority. She didn’t care about any of that, but she did wish that people would not make promises they had no intention of keeping.
No possibility of keeping, in wartime. Travel arrangements across half the country, for someone so insignificant? No, she had never believed in the car. Even before her train north had been delayed and delayed: shunted aside to let a troop-train by, re-routed away from a marshalling yard that billowed smoke, stranded in a siding for hours with no explanation. Night had come before Leeds, her expected connection had been and gone long since.
She ended up sitting through the darkness on Darlington station, a rug around her knees and her eyes on the sky. No searchlights, no balloons; no distant fires, no firefly-spark of aeroplane exhausts, no ack-ack. No sudden flares of death dealt out. Only clouds and stars and the waning moon. She could spot all the constellations that Peter had taught her and make up others, tell herself their stories, try not to dwell on the train she had missed and the car that would never have been there anyway.
Try not to wonder just what it was that she was travelling to, what blind commitment she had made now. What all her promises might mean, to herself and to others in the weeks and months to come.
She no longer thought in years. Months were enough, surely.
It had been an odd interview that fetched her here, unforthcoming even by wartime standards. She hadn’t actually applied for a transfer, even, only mentioned in the canteen that she was thinking of it: ‘I suppose I’d feel more useful overseas, where the men are fighting. When they need a nurse right there, right then.’
‘We’re needed here, now.’ This was at the end of a long night, half a dozen of them clustered around a table with mugs of tea and cigarettes, their voices blurred with exhaustion. Almost too tired to go home, when home meant only a quick wash and a tumble into bed, a few blessed hours’ sleep and then back into uniform and back to the ward, back to work again.
‘Of course,’ Ruth said quickly. The raids were worse than ever. London was burning all about them, and most of these girls were Londoners. ‘The home front is as important as anywhere else. Just – well, we can’t win the war from here. Only survive it. I want to help win it. And that means nursing soldiers, not civilians.’
‘That’ll mean the QAs, then.’
‘I suppose so, yes.’ The Queen Alexandra corps, military nurses: almost a regiment in themselves.
‘Sooner you than me, Ruth. All that marching and saluting – if I wanted to be a soldier, I’d join the ATS. But I don’t. Why would you?’
‘Because the QA’s full of posh girls, of course,’ another voice, too weary to be bitter. ‘Posh like her.’
‘That’s not true,’ although it was, of course. Both parts of it. The QA was scrupulous in selecting girls from good families, and Ruth would fit right in.
‘You leave her alone, Maisie. She does her share; that’s all that counts these days. Go on, though, Ruth. Why would you?’
‘Oh, you know,’ she said vaguely. ‘I’d like to get away, find some sunshine. The desert might be nice, Egypt or Palestine, but that doesn’t really matter. Anywhere but here.’
‘And live in tents and be shot at?’
‘It’s no worse than living in digs and being bombed.’ She was trying to make light of it, trying to sound superficial. Flighty and, yes, posh. Not making a very good job of that, she thought, but no matter. So long as no one picked up what she really meant. I’d like to find a bullet, if there’s one out there with my name on it. As all these damn bombs keep missing me.
The following week, she was called into Matron’s office.
‘Sit down, Taylor. I hear you’re thinking of leaving us.’
Matron famously heard everything. Either she had a spy network that rivalled whatever Hitler could achieve, or else her own chilly spirit pervaded the entire hospital, noting every sin and listening in to every whisper. Certainly that was what the probationers believed. Ruth used to laugh at the silly young things in their awed terror. It didn’t seem quite so funny now.
‘I’ve been considering it, Matron, yes. I haven’t quite decided yet.’
‘Indeed? Well, you may find that the decision is not entirely your own to take. This is wartime, you know.’
Ruth blinked. In anyone else, that would have been nothing but bluff. Wartime, of course yes, but nursing was a reserved occupation and she wasn’t proposing to leave it. Only to leave here, a grey and hopeless hospital in a grey and hopeless city. If her new path led to a quick sunlit death in a distant land – well, that was her own affair and no great loss to her country, no great loss to herself. No loss at all to anyone else. She wouldn’t throw her life away, but she must be allowed to risk it.
She shouldn’t need to
say that, any of that. Only, Matron didn’t bluff . . .
They weren’t alone in this little cubicle. A man sat in one corner, on a chair that must have been fetched in for him, cramped awkwardly between Matron’s desk and her filing cabinet. His felt hat was perched jauntily on a plaster bust – of Aesculapius, Ruth rather thought – that was as unfamiliar in here as the chair or the man. He was soberly suited, middle-aged, crisply shaven. It was odd to see such a man without either the white coat of a doctor or the uniform of an officer; in honesty, though, it was odd to see a man at all in Matron’s bailiwick.
Matron hadn’t introduced him. That was odd, too.
He stirred now, said, ‘Why the Queen Alexandra mob? Looking to be with your own kind?’
It was the same question, the same accusation; she hadn’t expected it here. ‘No!’ she said. Really she wanted to say it’s none of your business, but Matron had scared her now. Perhaps she – or he – really could stop her going. ‘Not that,’ she went on more steadily, getting a grip, understanding this to be some kind of interview. ‘I just feel that the war’s . . . elsewhere. I know that makes no sense when the bombs are falling every night and we’re treating people in corridors because we don’t have enough beds, but even so. There’s nothing we can do here but suffer. I want to, to make a difference. To be closer. To help the men when they need it most.’
All her justifications, trotted out to order. They sounded thinner than ever to her own ears, where she most needed them to carry weight. When she was done she felt oddly breathless, pent up, waiting.
He said, ‘Hmm. You’re a widow, I believe?’
It was easy for him. Herself, she still struggled to believe it sometimes. I’m twenty-nine, and Peter—
Twenty-nine, and Peter. Yes. They were almost the two facts of her life now, the twin poles that defined her. Twenty-nine seemed quite long enough in the circumstances, and Peter . . .
Peter had always been enough. And still was. No need for more now, no.
‘Yes,’ she said: the coldest, bleakest word she knew. May I have my bullet now, or will you really make me wait?
He said, ‘If I asked you to consider something else, would you do that?’
Consider. It was her own word, unfairly used against her. She couldn’t conceivably say no.
He said, ‘We need experienced nurses, adults. People who have seen the worst of life, and death too. The worst of death.’
Oh, Peter . . .
Ruth said nothing aloud. She was revising her first estimate of this man. A doctor and an officer, she thought now. Who else could be quite so ruthless?
But then, they were all soldiers now. She had said it herself, the home front is as important as anywhere else, and she could be ruthless on her own account. With her patients, and with herself too. Which was what this man was looking for, what he was seeing, what Matron had presumably promised him.
Ruthlessness and honesty went hand in hand, each drawing from the other. She said, ‘You’re not going to let me join the QAs, are you?’
‘I think it would be a waste,’ he said. ‘Society girls doing their bit, bandaging troops and keeping up morale, squirting the mosquitoes. You’re worth more than that. Come to me, I’ll give you a job to stretch you to the limit.’
Yes. He would use her and use her, she could see that; he would use himself just as hardly. Not married, she thought. Not ever likely to marry. Like herself, now. Oh, Peter . . .
She said, ‘Where is it, this job?’
‘I can’t tell you that.’
‘Not overseas, though?’
‘No. A train journey, no more.’
No bullets, then. And probably no bombs either. He had dressed for town, but she thought that was a rare event. He had the air of someone who had come a long way. The shadows under his eyes were nothing, everyone was tired these days, but not everyone had a soot smudge on their face and an overnight case tucked beneath their chair.
His shoes were scuffed, and she thought his feet hurt from pounding pavement.
She said, ‘What is the job?’
‘I can’t tell you that, either.’
His own reticence amused him. She had to struggle a little not to match his smile with her own. To remember that this was not what she wanted, a challenge from a challenging man. A swift release and a sudden end, that was what she wanted. Yes.
‘Nursing, though?’ she pursued, just for the sake of it, just to appear calmly ordinary. As though her mind had never turned to thoughts, to hopes of death.
‘Oh, yes. Nursing, absolutely. And the chance to make a difference to the war, that too. I can say that much. It’s more important work than you will find anywhere else.’
That stymied her, perhaps. It took her credibility away. Nevertheless, ‘And if I say no, if I go to the QAs anyway?’
‘You might find that they won’t take you. Despite your impeccable credentials. You might find that there is no way to come closer to the war, except through me.’ Just for that little moment, his eyes were stone hard, absolute. No bombs, no bullets. As though he knew her inner self entirely. Then he smiled again, and said it again. ‘Come to me. We’ll give you a promotion, ward sister, how about that? You give us your best for six months, and if it doesn’t suit, then I promise the QAs will swallow you up gladly and waft you away. You can have your pick of postings, as close as you like to the front. Just, promise to give us a fair try first.’
She had, apparently, promised. It felt now like a deal with the devil. No – even at the time, it had felt like making a deal with the devil. It wasn’t charm, exactly, but he had something irresistible in his manner, or more deeply embedded in himself.
He had gone away with his hat on his head and the bust of Aesculapius under his arm. She rather thought he might have been whistling as he went.
And now she was here, chilled and stiff on Darlington station as night faded into dawn, waiting under the milk-stained sky for the milk train to take her forward in pursuit of a promise she had not wanted to make and would keep regardless. Six months. She could do that, yes. And then a different uniform, a posting, the war, that relentless pursuit of a bullet. Yes.
The milk train came and carried her through a succession of valleys, hills that grew steeper and darker against the day, bleak moors and tangled woods.
At last one more station, yet one more, and the kindly guard there to hand her case down to her, to be sure she got off where she was meant to.
She stood in a watery sunlight and eased her back and gazed about her, understanding how the town, such as it was, spread that way along the river – eastward, Peter, yes, towards the risen sun – while all the valley else looked entirely grim. Unlifted by light. She shivered, scolded herself for being fanciful and turned away from the view, turned her mind to practical matters. She’d need a cab, she supposed. She had written orders to say where she should report, but of course no map and no notion of how to find her way.
Here was the station forecourt, and of course no taxis. Only the one car waiting, a landaulet with the hood folded back and an officer drowsing in the driving seat. If the RAF had taken to moonlighting as cab drivers, she hadn’t heard of it. She might have asked him whether there was any point her waiting, any chance at all of a cab’s arriving; but he was at least half asleep, his back to the thin sun and his cap pulled low across his face. She really didn’t like to disturb him. Especially when the answer was almost sure to be no. Petrol was short everywhere. She’d just go into town, ask directions and steel herself to walking. However far it might be, and however heavy her case.
Behind her the train was pulling out, giving a peremptory blast of its whistle at a level crossing. The sound was unexpectedly raucous, trapped here between the valley walls and echoing off the slab side of a mill. The man in the car startled, and sat up straight.
Ruth smiled, and thought she would still not bother him with pointless questions. She turned, hefted her case in her hand and began to walk the other way . . . and wa
s arrested by a sudden voice, cracked and hoarse but strong enough to carry.
‘I say, excuse me . . .!’
Still expecting nothing, she stopped and looked back over her shoulder. He was half out of the car, almost falling over himself in his hurry. A very young man, she diagnosed. As so many of them were.
Catching his balance, he was suddenly almost graceful as he came towards her. Not quite. There was something wrong: something in the way he held his right arm, awkwardly unmoving at his side. He didn’t wear driving gloves, which any young man might not, but this particular young man, she thought, probably could not. One useless hand would leave the other necessarily bare, unless a friend helped out. Or he could use his teeth, perhaps, to draw a glove on, but . . .
She was surprised, a little, that he could drive at all. That was all but drowned, though, in a far greater surprise. Here was her promised car after all, at the wrong time on the wrong day and quite unlooked for. And her driver – well. She would never have expected this.
Even before he lifted his head and met her eye to eye, letting the sun strike in under the peak of his cap. She would still never have expected this much just for her, a flying officer with the kind of car her brothers liked to jaunt about in before the war. Even so: his injuries suggested some kind of recuperative treatment; his uniform said he was still on active service, which would justify the hush-hush nature of her appointment here; and his determined chasing implied that he was here to pick up a female. All in all, she did think this was her car.
Then she saw his face, and all doubt fled away.
He blinked, which was a thoughtful, almost an effortful process, nothing natural; and said, ‘Miss Taylor?’
‘Mrs Taylor. But yes.’ She had been Miss Elverson once. That seemed a long time ago. Then she had been Peter’s, and he marked her with his name. Now she was no one’s, but she kept that name like a banner. She wore that and his ring together, not to let him pass from the world entirely before she must, before she did. Until that bullet found her, she would be Mrs Peter Taylor. A promise was a promise, after all.
House of Doors Page 1
