Placing his elbows on the desk, he threw his head in his hands and groaned. He couldn’t feel this way about her. He just couldn’t. If he went after Lila, he knew that Chase would just assume that he’d only fired her to get her all to himself. Apart of him wondered if Chase would even be wrong to feel that way. Would he? Jack was afraid to think about it.
His eyes went to the phone. Where the hell was Chase? His little brother had always been good at avoiding Jack at every turn, but this was just ridiculous. When Jack woke up in the morning Chase was already gone, when he came home at night Chase was already asleep. They hadn’t spoken a word to each other since the confrontation they’d had in that very office. Even when they were on good terms they didn’t talk much, but Jack missed seeing him, he even missed his angry face.
Jack slowly picked up the phone and dialed his brother’s number, rolling his eyes when he was sent straight to his voicemail.
“Typical.,” he grumbled, slamming the phone down. The stress of work and his brother hating his guts was sending Jack into an emotional overdrive that he wasn’t prepared to handle. He needed to get his mind off of everything. He needed a drink, and preferably someone to share it with.
Without another thought, Jack snatched up the phone on his desk and dialed the number he hadn’t even realized he knew by heart.
“Hello?” Her voice was low and soft.
Jack’s heart seized. “Hi.” He loosened his tie. “It’s Jack.”
“I know who it is.”
He heard the amusement in her voice and it relaxed him. “I was, uh…. How are you?”
“I’m good. Just doing some paperwork.”
“Late night?” His eyes flew to the clock. It was six-thirty.
“Something like that.”
He couldn’t take it, anymore. The pleasantries. The bullshit. “Will you have dinner tonight?” He reached out and wrapped his fingers around the pens and pencils in the holder on his desk, bracing himself.
“I’d like that.”
Jack shot up from his chair, pumping his fist into the air before falling back into his seat and adjusting his loosened tie. He tilted his head and whispered into the receiver, “yeah?”
“Yeah,” he laughed, again.
He was officially afraid to talk now, fearing he would say something stupid. “Okay. I was thinking Sushi Tyme, they have this spicy tuna roll that’s unbelievab--”
“I don’t like sushi.”
“I hate sushi,” Jack said, quickly. “Hate it…”
She was now openly laughing on the other end of the phone. “Why don’t you pick me up from the school when you’re off, and we’ll play it by ear?”
A large smile crossed his face. “Great.” His eyes scanned the paperwork scattered across his desk. It would take him at least six hours to finish it all by his deadline tonight. Even with a weeks’ worth of work on his shoulders, he still wasn’t quite ready to hang up the phone. “I’ll be off in half an hour.”
“I’ll be here. And Jack?”
“Hm?”
“Did you wish Chase a Happy Birthday today?”
“Trying, but he’s not my biggest fan at the moment.”
“So I guess I was wrong to assume this dinner was a celebration for him.” Her voice was laced with disappointment.
Jack’s heart fell. “No.”
“Then I have to take back my acceptance.” Lila paused. “I don’t think dinner is a good idea.”
He jammed his eyes shut. “How long are we going to make all of our decisions based on the opinion of a seventeen year old? Chase hates my guts, Lila. Okay? He doesn’t want me around for his birthday. Why subject everyone to a dinner that’s just going to be laced with awkwardness and, quite possibly, attempted murder?”
“Jack, it’s his birthday.”
He gritted his teeth and leaned forward in his chair, his mind racing for a way out.
“And he doesn’t hate you,” Lila whispered. “He loves you very much.”
“You might be able to take reality and wrap it up in a pretty bow for the kids at school, but I’m a grown man, Lila.” Jack told himself to bite his tongue, but he couldn’t stop. “Maybe you should start expressing the same honesty that you constantly demand of them.”
“And what the hell does that mean?”
“I think you know what it means.” He was now upset. “It’s always going to be something, isn’t it? There’s always going to be a reason because then you’ll never have to be honest with yourself. When are you ever going to face up to anything?” Jack jammed his eyes shut.
“So there must be something wrong with me because I don’t want to have dinner with you tonight? Damn, the ego has landed,” Lila fumed. “You know it’s really funny that you all of a sudden have time to buy me dinner on your brother’s birthday, when all along I’ve been under the impression that you barely had time to fit in a good tooth brushing, Mr. Partner-at-a-Law-Firm. What a treat that you were able to clear your schedule long enough to fit in a three course meal tonight! Very impressive. Do me a favor and use that time to make memories with your brother. Goodnight.” She disconnected the call before he could say another word.
Jack listened to the dial tone on the other end of the line before cringing and falling back into his seat. It took everything he had not to send the phone flying at the wall.
Just hearing her voice over the phone had brought him to a different level entirely. Even though they’d spent more than half of the conversation fighting, he still felt ten times more clear-headed than he had before he’d called her. He couldn’t remember the last time any woman—or any person for that matter—had made him feel as good as he did when she’d answered his call, and as furious as he did when she’d ended it.
Two seconds later, his phone blared to life. Chase’s name lit up the screen.
Jack scrambled to snatch up the phone, shocked at the sudden and unexpected response from his brother.
“Hey,” he breathed, having all but slammed the phone against his ear. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
Jack bit his lip as silence passed between himself and the phone on his ear. Chase had never been much of a talker, and neither had Jack, but he was desperate to keep the conversation going. “I was going to try to get out of here early for your birthday--”
“What did you think?” Chase suddenly said into the phone.
Jack faltered, “What… What did I think?—“
“Did you think that you were going to fire Lila and that everything between us was going to magically go back to normal? That we would talk on the phone and pretend to give a shit about each other’s lives? I was lucky to get a card from you for my last three birthdays and now you’re ‘trying to get out of work early?’ For what? You know what? I wasn’t going to call you back, at all, but I have something to say.”
Jack braced himself for the many blows he was sure had yet to come. “I was just calling because I haven’t seen you in a week. I was thinking about you--”
“Thinking about me? More like yourself.”
Jack decided to get right to the point before things got out of hand. “Chase. I know you’re pissed off about Lila but I was only trying to do what was best for you.”
Chase wasn’t listening. “What’s the sob story you’ve been shopping around town these days? That you gave up your childhood for me? You work at that law firm for me? You fired Lila for me? I love the way you run around town convincing everyone that you’re some sort of god damn wounded hero when you’re the reason they’re gone, you’re the reason they’re dead-- you took them from me and now you think you can take her from me, too, then turn around and act like you’re doing me some kind of favor? Fuck you.”
Jack jammed his eyes shut and leaned on his desk, covering his forehead with his hand as hot tears raced to his eyes.
“I see the way you look at her. I know you, okay? I know you, Jack.” Chase paused and when he spoke again his voice was broken. “And I fucking see the way she
looks at you, too. I’m not an idiot so don’t treat me like one. Don’t treat me like I’m a fucking blind idiot because I’m not.”
“I know you’re not an idiot,” Jack croaked, struggling to find his breath. “Please… where are you? Why are you bringing up Mom and Dad? This has nothing to do with them.” He couldn’t remember the last time that Chase had ever spoken of their parents’ or the night they died, and it was throwing Jack for a loop. “Where are you?” He demanded, his body beginning to tremble. He could hear the tears in Chase’s voice and it made his blood run cold.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you for making me give them the car keys that night, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself…”
“Chase…”
“But if you fuck Lila…”
Jack opened his eyes and a tear raced down his cheek.
“If you fuck Lila I will never forgive you,” Chase spat. “I will never forgive you, Jack.”
“This has nothing to do with Lila—“
“Stop.” Chase yelled. A few seconds passed. “Stop. Lying.” He gritted, his breathing growing heavy before he disconnected the call altogether.
Jack stared at the phone in a stony silence for several minutes after Chase had hung up, feeling a wave of horrible emotions ducking under his skin and holding him still in his chair.
He did the only thing he could think to do. He picked up the phone and dialed Lila’s number. When she answered he took his first deep breath in minutes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered passionately into the phone. “I’m lost, and I’m fucked up.” Silence followed on the other end, but he knew she was there. “I have no idea how to tell my brother… that I love him--Or how to tell him anything. I’ve been failing him since he was thirteen and I don’t know how to… to change. Or stop, or… I don’t know.” Taking a deep breath, Jack ran a hand down his face and lowered his voice when he realized he was frantic. “I can barely even wish him a happy birthday.” He laughed to himself. “I’m sorry, Lila, all right? I take it out on you because you’re the only one who’s ever been there, but that’s not fair—it’s bullshit, actually. It’s all such bullshit because you’re… you’re… perfect.” He’d never meant anything more. “When I found you I was at my wits end with Chase. I didn’t know what to do to stop the downward spiral he was on. I felt like I was watching him slowly waste away. Like I was watching the best pieces of someone I love with all of my heart waste away, piece by piece. You saved him, Lila and, in extention, you saved me. You have no idea how much that means to me, probably because I never told you. So I’m telling you now. It means so much to me, Lila. And I’ll never forget everything you’ve done for us. Never. I’m sorry.”
A long pause followed on the other end.
Jack’s eyes widened. “Hello?” he asked.
She spoke softly. “No, Jack, I’m sorry. You were right. Who am I to tell these kids at school how to live their lives when I don’t even know how to do that for myself? Even if you are a jerk sometimes I don’t think you’ve ever been dishonest with me. Not ever. That’s so important—that’s so rare, and all I do is rip your face off,” Lila breathed softly. “I’m a total bitch to you all the time.”
Jack’s eyes fluttered shut and a small smile covered his face. As soon as it was there, it was crumbling. “He hates me, Lila.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” she persisted.
“He fucking hates me.”
“He’s just angry.”
Jack placed a hand over his forehead and took steady breaths. “I want to fix it, but I don’t know… how.” He made a claw with his hand. “I don’t know how to talk to him.”
“I know,” Lila whispered.
Jack reveled in how much more relaxed he was already becoming and ran his fingers through his hair. “Can we make a deal right now?”
“Okay,” she agreed, laughing gently.
“Let’s agree… no bullshit for the next sixty seconds.” He checked his watch. “That’s it. Just one minute.”
“One minute.”
“I need your help with Chase. I need… you.” His eyes shot up to the ceiling. “I need to see you tonight, Lila.”
“I need to see you, too.”
Jack exhaled. “Tonight,” he reiterated.
“Yeah.”
Jack checked his clock. They had thirty seconds. “Why did you come to my room that night at Tahoe? Why my room out of all the other guys you were dancing with?”
“How do you know how many guys I was dancing with?”
Because he’d wanted to kill each and every one of them. He raised his chin. “I asked you first.”
A long while passed without Lila saying a word, then she answered playfully, “minute’s up.”
---
Lila hung up the phone and covered her mouth with her hand, wide eyes scanning her small office in shock. Jack Almeida had just called her and told her he needed her. Just like that. And she’d fallen for it like putty in his hands. Now that she was off of the phone and surrounded by the still silence in her office she was slightly ashamed of how quickly she’d agreed to go out with him.
Truth be told, she’d been waiting for him to call her since the moment he’d bought her coffee two days ago. She had since begun to give up hope. Too bad their first phone conversation after that wonderful morning had gone so sour. Secretly, she hated that they’d gotten into a fight, and might have had to tie her hands down to her office chair to keep from calling him back if he hadn’t called her first.
An ‘oh my fucking god’ reminiscent of her teenage years were the first words she’d said when she saw his name flashing across the screen of her ringing phone for the second time that night. It had taken several seconds of panicking and slow breathing exercises before she’d even trusted herself to pick it up.
Quickly, she dialed Chase’s number. Before it could ring she hung it up. Calling him would be going against everything she’d promised herself since the day he’d pulled her into the janitor’s closet. As tears pricked her eyes she reminded herself again that she had to let him go. And letting him go did not involve a phone call that would start off as “Happy Birthday’ and probably turn into something much more emotional.
So instead she sent a simple text.
‘Happy Birthday, Chase’, it was the same birthday message that she sent to all of her kids. Even after she’d sent the message it felt wrong, unfinished, cold, and she knew that it would feel the same way to Chase. A tear raced down her cheek as she thought of all the birthdays she’d shared with him.
Their bond had always felt pure to her, harmless, but time was quickly proving that what Chase felt for her was anything but harmless. It was something that was causing him—and her—a great deal of pain. She jammed her eyes shut when she began to feel overcome with emotion. She hated hurting him more than anything and would giving anything to forget. Even if only for tonight.
And what better way to do it than with Jack Almeida? If anything he would say something to piss her off so much that nothing else in her miserable world would matter but giving him a verbal smack-down. Or maybe they would have such a great night that she would wonder how she’d ever imagined missing it. She never knew with Jack. It was always a surprise--one that she was totally up for.
“Oh my god.” She said, again, looking down at her wardrobe: A pair of fitted grey slacks and a grey vest on top of her usual white button down. What the hell was she wearing? This simply wouldn’t do.
Jumping to her feet, Lila raced out of her office, remembering that she had some extra clothes in her car. As she rounded the corner her slow jog increased to a run, half because she was in a hurry and half because Dalton was always so creepy when it was empty. She thought about that mysterious blue car that had been suspiciously showing up everywhere she went and her run became a full on sprint.
She was the last person there that night—even the janitors had left—and all of the lights had been turned out. It was eerily
silent and every move she made seemed to catapult off the walls and tap her on the back, scaring the shit out of her every time. She turned the last corner and screamed in horror when she ran smack dab into a body, crying out even louder when a pair of hands gripped her arms.
Instinctively, Lila reared back and swung, her fist catching skin with so much force that pain ripped through her knuckles and rendered her breathless.
“Damnit!” She cradled her hand and fell back, her eyes widening when the moonlight peeking through the front doors cast light across the face of the person in front of her. “Jack! Oh my god, Jack, I’m so sorry!”
Jack was leaning against the red lockers lining the wall and holding his nose, attempting to appear nonchalant. “I’m fine.” Even as Lila catapulted herself toward him and wrapped her arms around him he tried to stay composed. “I’m fine.”
---
“I’m not fine.” Jack leaned his head back against the booth at the bustling Lavo Restaurant, avoiding the alarmed stares of the tables around him as Lila placed an ice pack on his nose. They had already slayed an entire pitcher of Lavo’s signature Raspberry Mojito and the pain was still present. Lila finally had to as the waiter to prepare a ziplock bag full of ice when his nose began to visibly swell. “I think you broke my nose.”
“Well how the hell was I supposed to know that you were going to show up at the school ten minutes after we hung up the phone? Knowing you I was sure that I had at least a couple of hours. I was actually going to go home, take a shower and drive back to the school.”
Jack laughed, and then frowned, clutching his nose as he did. He had actually left the office the second he’d gotten off of the phone with her, so shaken up by his previous conversation with Chase that he’d almost gotten into a car accident in his hurry to get to Lila. Guilt surged through his veins as he looked up at her, so delicate, so beautiful, holding that freezing ice pack against his nose. If she knew the explosive conversation he and Chase had had that day she surely wouldn’t be here. As much as she tried to put on a tough face, Jack could tell that Lila missed his little brother and was very serious about protecting his feelings. He saw the way her eyes narrowed whenever Chase’s name was mentioned, and was even sure he’d seen the beginnings of tears in them a few times.
Lila's Thunder: The Almeida Brothers, Book One Page 8
