“I don’t believe that Chase is behind any of this. I truly don’t. Besides, I can take care of myself. It’s not your job to save me.” Lila wept. “But it is your job to save him.”
“God damn it, Lila. What about us?” His voice trembled as he drug his gaze back to her tear stained face.
“Us?” Lila was dumbfounded. “Think about what just happened back there, Jack. What about us?”
Jack looked off.
Lila hammered on. “Without Chase, there will never be an ‘us’. And as long as there’s an ‘us’, you will never have Chase. He is our common denominator. He always has been. I know you love me, Jack, but you love him more. Why delay the inevitable? I’m only doing what has to be done… what will inevitably be done.”
“We can make it work.”
“No.” Lila shook her head and stole her next words right out of Chase’s mouth. “That’s just a fairytale.”
“Lila—“
“I don’t want to see you, again.” She covered her cringing mouth with her hand and continued to stare out the window. “Ever.” Her voice broke and her body began to shake as tears overtook her and she pulled away when Jack tried to touch her. She was too afraid that if he did she would give in, and she knew she couldn’t do that. “Goodbye, Jack.”
Jack listened to her climb out of the car and slam the door behind her. Only then did he bury his face in the steering wheel and allow a single tear to fall, then another, until the SUV was rocking gently along with the weight of his grief.
Chapter 9
Lila awoke with a start. She sat up in her bed and immediately bolted out of her bedroom and to the living room door. When she opened it, sure enough, there it was. Another photo.
Snatching it down, she slammed the door shut and immediately went to grab her phone and call the police until she turned it over.
What she saw stole her breath.
This time it wasn’t a photo of her and Jack. It was one of her and Chase.
The photo had been taken so long ago she felt like it had been an eternity. It was the last day that she’d allowed Chase to call her, see her, or walk her to school. In the photo they were standing face to face, and Chase was in the midst of tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. What was a completely innocent habit of his that he’d had since he was fourteen suddenly looked far too intimate. It looked like a man yearning to touch a woman he loved. The look in Chase’s eye only solidified this fact. Upon further inspection Lila realized the photo was taken on the same day Jack had fired her.
Little did she know back then that day would change absolutely everything, forever.
---
Jack pulled his truck to a stop at the Passenger Drop Off terminal at JFK and put the car in park before turning to the passenger’s seat and placing his arm across it.
“Look, Chase…”
Chase already had the passenger door open, grabbing his duffle bag from between his legs. “Don’t fucking bother—“
“Hey now!” Bitsy cried, leaning between the two front seats from where she’d been stewing in the silence of the truck from the back seat for the entire ride. She placed both of her hands on either of her grandson’s shoulders as she leaned in from the back seat. Feeling Chase’s entire body relax under the slight pressure of her hand, she gripped it. “You don’t speak to your fucking brother that way.”
Chase and Jack’s eyes both flew to Bitsy in shock. Not once in their lives had they ever heard that kind of language leave their grandmother’s mouth.
Bitsy’s eyes jumped from one grandson to the next in pure distress. Jack’s eyes were red and swollen, Chase’s lips were curled down into a disgusted sneer and he had bags under his eyes that she’d never recalled seeing there before. They both looked like hell rising, and she’d had enough.
“Now I’ll be damned if I let you climb out of this car and fly to Cambridge on that kind of piss poor note. You’re going to say goodbye to your god damn brother before you get on that plane even if it kills you, do you understand?”
Chase leveled Bitsy’s eyes with his own, willing himself to stay calm. “He attacked me.”
“You disappeared for three days. You’re lucky he didn’t murder you. Not a jury in the world would convict him.”
With his jaw clenched, Chase met Jack’s eyes, and his stomach immediately turned. With teeth grinding in pure fury, he managed to snarl. “Bye.”
Jack’s fingers dug into Chase’s head rest. “Good luck at Harvard, all right?”
Chase leaned over and gave Bitsy a begrudging kiss on the cheek before climbing out of the car.
“I love you, all right?” Jack called.
Chase stepped out onto the terminal walkway and mumbled, “you too,” softly, so softly it was barely audible.
But Jack heard it.
---
Ten minutes later, Bitsy was in the passenger seat as Jack pulled into a park in front of The Dalton School. She threw him a look.
“I just have to make a quick stop,” he said, undoing his seatbelt. “Five minutes--stay put,” he added when he saw that Bitsy was fixing to undue her seatbelt.
The hallways of Dalton were full of kids scattering about as Jack walked through, shrugging out of the way of every strange kid he touched, assuming that the bell had just rung. His eyes searched the halls until he found the long windowed wall of the front office, pushing his way through the door.
Every head at every desk, most of them women, flew to the door of the office the second Jack stepped through. Pens dropped, phone calls were forgotten and conversation came to a halt all around at the sight of him standing in the doorway. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his trench coat at the unexpected attention before gradually making his way to the reception desk.
“Hi. I’m here to speak to Lila James? It’s about my, uh… my brother.”
The receptionist raised an eyebrow. The smirk on her face spoke volumes.
Jack’s heart raced. “It’s important.”
The receptionist grabbed a pen and pad. “Well, Lila’s not here.”
“Not here?”
Her eyes rose to him as she de-capped her pen and leaned over, exposing her ample cleavage. “Not here. But I can certainly take a mess--”
“Where is she?”
She straightened up. “I’m really not at liberty to say, Mr. Almeida.”
Jack tilted his head down at the receptionist, not missing how she’d known his name with no introduction, his brown eyes going soft as they searched hers. He placed his elbows on her desk and leaned in close, a small smile lighting up his previously serious face.
“Listen…” He said, gently. “I’m sorry if I was rude just now… but I think we both know that I’m not really here for my brother…”
She only rolled her eyes in response before letting them slowly travel his body.
“But if you could do me this one favor I would…” Jack’s eyes bore into hers. “I would really appreciate it…” His eyes flew to the nameplate on her desk. “Marsha.”
Marsha smacked her gum and let her eyes travel his body once more before shaking her head. “She got on a plane to Cambridge this morning,” she whispered.
Jack visibly froze. “Cambridge?” he repeated.
“Massachusetts,” Marsha confirmed. “That’s all I know.”
Jack pushed away from the desk like it was on fire and took a moment to collect himself before offering Marsha a quiet thank you and flying out of the office door.
---
It was a full flight and it showed, but Lila didn’t care. After everything with Jack and finding yet another picture hanging from her door that morning, she was happy to be leaving New York City for a little while. Someone was following her, someone with an agenda that they had yet to make clear and she was sure it was only a matter of time before they did. She was too afraid to call the police. Partly because she would definitely lose her job if the administration got wind of the pictures, and partly because she was embarrasse
d. She thought maybe, just maybe, if she got this job and left New York for good this would all go away. The thought of leaving made her sick to her stomach.
But it didn’t make her nearly as sick as she got every time she thought about having blamed Chase for the pictures. Clearly he wasn’t the one who was taking them, and she hated that she’d let herself believe he was capable of it for even a second. She knew Chase. She knew him so much better than that, and yet she’d still burned him at the stake.
When someone jammed into the back of her ankle with god-knows-what from behind she begged for patience. Lila always seemed to have the awful luck of being upon the last passengers to board the plane and with, almost two hundred passengers, getting to her seat was taking longer than she cared for. Adjusting the heavy bag on her shoulders she breathed a sigh of relief as she finally stepped onto the plane and was able to make her way down the narrow isle.
“Row 10, seat F.” She said to herself, smiling gratefully when she found her seat in the first row of economy. Dropping the heavy bag from her shoulders felt like heaven, so much so that her eyes fluttered shut momentarily.
When they opened, the sight that met her stole her breath and stopped her in her tracks.
Chase was staring up at her from Row 10, seat D with wide eyes, his fingers clutching the handles of his seat like a vise.
“Holy shit you must be joking,” Lila whispered, shaking her head in shock, unable to break eye contact with Chase. After another long moment of silence, a sarcastic grin broke her face. “No, actually… this is just about right.”
Knowing exactly what she meant, Chase chortled, running a bashful hand down his face.
“Story of my life.” His deep voice boomed right into the isle and wrapped itself around her. He stood from his seat and placed his hand on top of hers.
Lila looked down at her hand, which was gripping the handle of her suitcase tightly, holding her breath at the warmth of his hand on hers. Apart of her knew it was wrong to feel so much comfort from being this close to him, and that she should shut it down immediately, but another part—the much more powerful part—could only be relieved that he didn’t hate her.
“I know you didn’t take those pictures.” She said suddenly, quickly, hers eyes watering at how horrible she must have made him feel.
Chase stared down at their hands for a few moments before looking up and meeting her eyes. He stared at her for ages, but didn’t say a word.
“I’m so sorry--I was so wrong,” Lila whispered, frowning deeply.
Before she could breathe another breath, think another thought, Chase had taken the bag from her hand and lifted it into the overhead bin with ease.
“Thanks,” she whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
“Story of my life,” he said, again, falling back into his seat and staring ahead.
“Story of your life?” She asked, thankful that they were able to somewhat break the discomfort with humor. She stepped out of the isle and began to squeeze past him to get to her window seat. “How about story of my freakin’ life?…” Her words slowed to a stop when Chase placed his hand on the small of her back, his fingers brushing gently under the fold of her small Dalton t-shirt as he helped her past him. She froze at the unexpected contact and moved quickly forward, plopping into the window seat and dropping her purse at her feet.
The skin on her back pounded where he’d touched her and she jammed her eyes shut.
“Story of my life,” she whispered to herself.
---
“This is Lila. You know what to do.”
Jack’s jaw clenched as he was sent to voicemail for what had to be the tenth time in under an hour. He’d been running errands with Bitsy all day in an attempt to clear his mind, but nothing was working.
He stared at the rapidly inclining number at the gas pump and his stomach felt like it was eating him alive. He’d been hanging up on her voicemail every time he called, but this time he couldn’t control himself.
“I’m sure it’s a complete coincidence that you and my brother are on the same god damn plane, right?” His voice was gripped with sarcasm. “Total fucking coincidence.”
After realizing that he was now unloading his feelings onto Lila’s voicemail, he forced himself to hang up the phone, mortified that he’d just solidified his complete loss of control for her to hear. Internalized it on her voicemail.
After filling the tank he opened the door to his truck and climbed in, slamming it behind him.
Bitsy jumped to attention and stared at her oldest grandson in dismay.
“What is it, dear?” she asked seeing the naked distress on his face.
“If it came down to me and Chase.” Jack stared out of the window, his eyes burning. “If it really came right down to it… she’ll always pick him. Always.” His eyes flew to Bitsy. “Am I right?”
Bitsy faltered.
“Am I right, Grams?” Jack’s voice trembled.
Bitsy didn’t want to answer, but she couldn’t stop herself, “Yes, darling. All right? Yes.”
Jack looked away.
“Whether she knows it or not,” Bitsy shrugged.
---
“Damn,” Lila said through gritted teeth, slamming her pen down as Chase drew a deep, dark line through the third three-in-a-row he’d achieved since he’d pulled out his notebook. Lila tossed her pen over her shoulder dramatically in response to her loss, cutting her eyes when Chase laughed an arrogant laugh.
“Still suck at tic-tac-toe.” His deep voice boomed so heavily that the flight attendant, who was in the middle of a safety briefing to their left, threw him a look of warning. “Some things never change,” he teased, his voice considerably lower.
“You know that planes have always made me woozy,” Lila beamed, turning in her seat and giving him a challenging gaze. “I’m clearly distracted by my fear and it’s affecting my ability to focus.”
“Is that what you’re telling yourself?” Chase squinted an eye at her. “You suck at tic-tac-toe. You have always sucked at tic-tac-toe. This is not brand new information.”
“I am great at tic-tac-toe. As I recall I used to kick your ass back in the day.”
Chase laughed heartily, “Back in what day? The ones you’ve concocted in your head? Even when I tried to let you win back then you still managed to lose. It was pitiful.”
“Bullshit,” Lila said, a little too loudly.
When the flight attendant shushed them Lila faced forward in her seat and didn’t make another peep until the safety briefing was over.
To her left, Chase had his eyes jammed shut, fighting not to laugh.
---
An hour into a flight, and after a few dozen more tic-tac-toe losses, Lila had finally thrown in the towel and crowned Chase the king. They had spent most of the flight reminiscing about the old days when they spent every second together, the many memories they’d made, and laughs they’d shared. It had been so long since it had just been her and him that Lila had almost let herself completely forget why she’d fought to be in his life for as long as she had. He was her friend.
She didn’t know how she’d let herself forget how kind and forgiving of a person he was, but sitting there next to him, reveling in the fact that he wasn’t even holding her terrible accusations against her, solidified that she would never put him through something like that again. She would never hurt him, again.
After coming down from a fit of giggles reminiscing with Chase Lila slowly sobered up, stealing a handful of trail mix from the bag on his tray table and tossing it into her mouth. When it was halfway eaten she summoned all the courage she had.
“So are we ever going to address the elephant in the room or are you going to leave that to me?”
“I think you mean the elephant on the plane,” Chase corrected, clearly trying to distract her with cheesy jokes.
But Lila wasn’t having it. “Common. I’m serious.”
He closed his eyes for several long moments, taking a
big, heaving breath, as if he were exhausted. “Apart of me was hoping we wouldn’t have to discuss it, at all.”
“Not discuss it, at all? Which part, exactly?”
“The part where you show me a picture of you and Jack having sex springs to mind,” he said with closed eyes.
Lila swallowed hard. “What about the part where you disappeared for three days? Or the part where you almost took Jack’s head clear off?”
“He started it, Lila.”
“He was scared to death. He had no idea where you were. He thought you were dead. There wasn’t a thing anyone else could say that would convince him otherwise. Chase he was crying. Jack!” Lila beamed. “Crying! He loves you and you scared the shit out of him. So, yeah, he tried to kill you…”
He gave her a look.
“Who wouldn’t?” she asked, with a shake of her head.
“I already told you. I’m not going to hang around and watch while you two play house. So I decided to go play house with Ashley, instead. What’s the problem?”
Lila’s eyebrows scrunched together. Though many things about Chase were still the same-- the way they so easily understood each other’s dry humor, how conversation just flowed, and even some of the faces he made-- a lot of things about him were totally different. He wasn’t willing to lie down and let her dominate the conversation, anymore. He didn’t bite his tongue to appease her anymore, either. If he felt something he now had the courage to say it to her face… And to deal with the aftermath. He was a little harder, a little rougher now than he had been a few months ago. His interior now was now in much deeper harmony with his exterior. Tough, confident, virle… almost macho. She wasn’t sure if she was happy with that or not.
Lila's Thunder: The Almeida Brothers, Book One Page 16
