She had given Sula and Felix some time and space for them to make up and she chose to travel west as it wasn’t too far away yet still very beautiful.
What a sight it would be to see her fly! Feline thought, but no one apart from Felix and Fay ever had. Feline had never dared to ask Sula knowing she was a little private about her skills. Feline respected that and knew how important it was to keep it a secret as well.
Her sky blue eyes stared at the hills ahead of her and met the pine forest which held her cosy home safe within its clutches; such a familiar heart warming sight. As much as she loved travelling, nothing compared to coming home. At least, that was how she had always felt before. Now for the first time her heart felt heavy and she was reluctant to urge her horse on.
She was however driven by the need to see her parents again; her brother, Fay and…Sula. But her sister-in-law had made it hard for her. Feline wanted to be close to her. Now that she had had some time to think about things, having spent time by the sea, which helped her clear her thoughts, she was sure about one thing; they could never be.
For the first time ever during her time away, she had felt lonely, empty, and her life meaningless. She had missed Sula’s company so much that she could not bear to stay away any longer. Though Feline’s frozen shoulder ached more and more and she desperately needed the sun to stop the constant pain, the thought had crossed her mind that Sula might need her, especially now during her pregnancy. And in the meantime, she could give her shoulder some of Sula’s bird-mode warmth?
This will only complicate things more! She can’t possibly give me treatment every day! Her touch…but it’s not just that. How I long for her eyes, her voice… Feline thought with a sting in her heart and she urgently nudged her mare on.
~~~
She decided to go and see her parents first of all in an attempt to distract her thoughts and lighten up her mood. Her parents were very good at that and she loved their easy warm company.
That evening in the dark she walked into the village of Rosinhill and approached her parents’ house. Feline saw and smelt the smoke of the hearths in the people’s homes and memories came flooding back to her. She smiled when she saw the familiar house and the figure of her mother moving in front of one of the windows. It looked like she was clearing up the table. When Feline came closer she heard a distant clatter of plates and muted voices and when she opened the door she was greeted with laughter.
‘-No way could you have moved that tree on your own, son!’ she heard her father say. He was blocked from her sight by her brother. ‘You must have had some help.’
‘Well, I’m telling you the truth, dad.’ Felix who stood with his back to her said. Sula, who sat next to his father was finishing her desert of what looked like apple pie. At that moment Sula eyes met with Feline’s and her hand with the spoon still in her mouth froze.
‘That tree nearly crushed your house yesterday and now all of a sudden it’s gone!’
Feline could hear her mother in the kitchen, mumbling presumably to Fay.
‘It was only a big side branch that came down in the storm in front of our house. The tree is still standing. Besides we had…help.’ Feline could hear by the tone in her brother’s voice and by the look on Sula’s flushed face that they felt trapped. It must have been Sula’s strength that had removed the branch easily. Her parents of course didn’t know anything about Sula’s strengths or her being a comyenti and Felix and Sula had insisted in keeping it that way.
‘Who from?’ her father Jolaz asked.
‘From me!’ Feline interrupted loudly, sensing the tricky situation.
All faces were moving her way now and the startled looks made her smile.
‘Feline?’ she heard her mother Feasgar ask.
Felix turned round and raised an eyebrow at her.
‘Ula helped remove that branch earlier on.’
‘You’re back!’ Jolaz smiled and stood but Felix was faster and embraced his sister casually, whispering, ‘Thanks, sis.’
Jolaz embraced her next and kissed her on the cheek. Her mother, Feasgar, came running over. ‘Feline, we thought you might have left for the season altogether?’ she asked before embracing her daughter too.
‘No, very soon I will though but I had…some business to attend to in the west country.’
‘Auntie!’ Fay hugged Feline from behind.
‘Hello Fay, I…missed you earlier on when Ula and I removed that branch. How did your first day at school go?’ she asked, remembering.
Fay giggled, knowing somehow that Feline had lied about the branch, but didn’t give it away.
‘It was okay.’
The only one who hadn’t greeted her was Sula. She still sat in the same position as before, looking dumbstruck at Feline.
‘We’re all complete now,’ Feasgar said smiling with a sigh. ‘Did you have your supper, sweetheart? I might still have some left?’
Feline avoided Sula’s stare and nodded. ‘I have, thanks. I brought some mushrooms for you but I’ll let Sula inspect them first since she is the expert.’ She slowly walked over to her.
‘Alright, who wants tea and who wants acorn coffee?’ Jolaz asked cheerfully and went to the kitchen whilst Feasgar took Sula’s empty bowl from her.
Fay jumped on her chair next to Sula whilst Feline took off her coat and hung it over a chair before emptying the content of her bag on the table.
‘Hmm good mushrooms eh, mummy?’ Fay said.
‘Er yes.’ Sula looked flustered eying the mushrooms, biting her lip.
‘Hello Sula. It’s…good to see… everybody again.’ Feline said.
‘Yes, it’s good to see you too,’ Sula said warmly and briefly met her eyes before disengaging again.
The awkwardness between them soon disappeared when they all sat down around the table, chattering away in small talk, drinking their warm beverages with the cosy fire popping and hissing. Feline hadn’t felt more at home than this in a long time.
~~~
‘But I’m a nomad,’ Sula said to Feline the next morning whilst strolling through the woods together around Rosinhill. Fay was ahead of them, running and bouncing up and down, chasing the colourful leaves that blew on the wind. Having Fay with them was a safeguard really, for both of them; so they wouldn’t be able to get too close to each other.
‘The vastness of freedom…it’s a lure I cannot deny. I wasn’t born to spend my life in a house and neither was any comyenti. How can I do that to my children? How can I deprive them of a free life in the wild?’
Feline’s shoulder brushed hers and she had to raise her voice to be heard above the sweeping wind through the pine trees. A wind that reminded her of the sea and her time away from Sula.
‘You are part human, hence the struggle. You will always be caught between both worlds. But who is to say if comyentis are truly nomads or whether it is you personally who craves freedom and the wilderness? You’ve only ever met two; your mother and… Shazar. And don’t forget they both travelled out of need. Sula, your search is over, there is no need to travel anymore; save for pleasure and showing and teaching your children about all the animals you love in the world. It’s up to you to find a balance and inner peace with your choice,’ she looked from Sula to Fay who was now climbing a tree. ‘Fay seems pretty happy with where she is; it’s as close to a life in the wild as any child can get, growing up in a friendly village in the mountains and woods, travelling to different parts of the globe every summer. I’d say she is pretty lucky.’ Feline glanced at Sula. ‘Your children will make their own choice one day. They might decide to live a life of travel or build their own house. Until then you can only give them the best start in life; a safe home, a loving environment. You’re doing fine.’
‘I’m not human and not comyenti.’
Feline stood still, as did Sula.
‘You’re both, which is better.’ Feline smiled warmly at her.
Sula smiled back and they started walking again but her smile soon f
aded. She said, ‘And I love both you and Felix, a man and a woman. Does that make me better too?’ she said with a hint of sarcasm.
Feline’s eyes flashed to Fay.
‘Oh, don’t worry, she knows. She read my mind when I was thinking about you.’
Her hand reached out for Feline’s, taking her hand in hers, rubbing her palm gently.
Walking hand in hand they heard a familiar sound; the honking of geese above the treetops on their way south. Sula normally would have smiled at the melancholic sound with love and warmth in her heart, but not now for it meant something else…
‘I wish I could come with you. I miss the freedom, the adventure. When you are going next, please take me with you?’
Feline halted and looked at Sula’s hand on her shoulder, taking it gently into her own hand, avoiding Sula’s tear stung eyes, she looked down instead. Sula’s normally flat belly was now round and showing ever so slightly as were her breasts.
Feline tore her eyes away and shook her head looking ahead still walking hand in hand. She had sincerely hoped her time away from Sula would have helped both their feelings to cool down and the Heartmerge to have re-established between Sula and Felix. It clearly hadn’t worked out the way Feline had hoped.
‘And then what? You travel with me for part of the year with the children or without? And live in Rosinhill reunited with Felix when we come back? How is that going to work?’
‘I don’t know.’ Sula’s voice sounded quiet.
‘Are you thinking about leaving him all together, to pick up you travels again?’
Sula looked at Feline with wide open eyes and Feline read the answer in them. Feline halted.
‘Sula! You have found a home here and a family. You can’t give it up for an uncertain rough life on the road. Yes, you loved it whilst growing up, but you’ve also told me how you always craved a steady home and a garden. Now that you have one, you can’t give it up again. And what about Fay and your new baby; surely they deserve a home, their friends and their father. What about Felix? You can’t have both.’
‘Ha, it’s not all domestic bliss! I’ve told you!’
But when Feline didn’t respond Sula sighed, ‘You’re right. I can’t give it up all together. I do love him. I…love cheese and jam…but why should I have to choose? Sometimes I crave cheese and sometimes jam, why can’t I have both in my cupboard?’
‘Oh, you don’t know that. What if this is just a phase and I’m just an experiment?’
Sula suddenly tightened her grip on Feline’s hand and pulled her close so that Feline had to look Sula in the eyes which were changing colour rapidly. She was furious.
‘Don’t ever say that! I’ve always loved you! I would never use you and cast you away like an old shoe!’
Feline stayed calm, her breathing quickened but it was from desire, not fear. Sula was even more stunning when angry.
Oh, if only I gave in! Feline thought. It would be so easy.
‘Sula, I love you too; more than anything, but you can’t compare me and Felix with food. We are living beings with feelings. Felix won’t want to share you and neither would I…Neither Felix or I will have you completely…I never thought I’d say this as I never wanted a lasting relationship before but since I met you…But it won’t work, so whatever you choose; one if us is going to get hurt. And that will have to be me! I cannot be responsible for Felix’s pain nor that of your children. We won’t act upon our feelings and he can never know.’
Sula let go of Feline’s hand slowly and sighed, ‘Why do you always have to be so rational and…and so self-sacrificing?’
‘Don’t you think it’s strange that ever since you met Shazar and he…he impregnated you, you are feeling this way?’
Sula was quiet.
‘It’s the Heartmerge, I’m sure of it. He has done something to you!’ I need to know for sure! Feline thought and the seed for an idea was planted inside her head.
‘No, not where my feelings for you are concerned, how could he have?’
Feline shook her head trying to avert her eyes from Sula’s hurt eyes.
‘I leave in two days time, Sula. I’m sorry.’ Feline’s face was pale and she reluctantly put space between herself and Sula, walking backwards, with tears in her eyes.
‘Feline?’
‘I’m sorry.’ And Feline turned round tearing her eyes away from Sula’s and started running.
‘Feline?!’ Sula called after her. Fay looked up and came skipping towards her mother.
‘Where did aunty go to, mummy?’
‘Home, Fay,’ she answered, staring absently with longing into the distance, thinking about different woods and mountains with new skies, new horizons and felt envy. Her heavy heart would leave with Feline.
‘Home’.
Chapter 31 Questions
Feline was inside her cosy home, standing by her window looking out. Sula could see her clearly from where she hid outside, knelt down on the forest floor, looking in. It was dark in the woods and Sula breathed in the damp spicy smell of decaying leaves. From the glow inside of the house, she could tell Feline had just had a bath as her hair was still wet and she wore her light blue night gown; matching her eyes perfectly.
In fact the whole room had a bluish glow to it; Feline was lighting three white candles on her window sill. Sula felt a little guilty for watching her, it was like she was spying on her. She didn’t mean to but she had to see her before she would leave…
The flames from the candles flickered pale blue; the first one she lit blew out so that she had to light it again.
She must have the window open a bit, but I can’t tell, Sula thought.
Then the second candle also blew out and the third, and again and again she had to re-light them. Feline tried so hard and Sula felt sorry for her. Until finally the first two remained lit but the last one, a smaller candle, wouldn’t stay lit.
It flickered in vain but then died out. Feline eventually stopped trying and seemed to accept it and went back to staring absent-mindedly through her window into the night sky. Sula was about to get up, to go to her, but then she heard someone coming towards her, rustling through the leaves…
‘Sula?’ she heard the familiar voice of her sister-in-law call out.
Sula stood and made a small startled sound, luckily it was too dark for Feline to see she blushed with embarrassment.
‘What are you doing here?’ Feline asked excitedly.
‘How did you know I was here?’ Sula whispered, why she was whispering she had no idea.
‘I…saw your eyes. They glow emerald in the dark, really glow!’
No! ‘I’m sorry, Feline. I didn’t mean to spy on you, I was going to knock on, but then…then-’ Sula felt Feline’s lips press on hers, hard and wanting, her way of stopping her from talking. She pulled Sula gently towards her and then down to the forest floor and they lay down upon the crisp autumn leaves…
Passionately Feline brushed Sula’s hair out of her face before covering her with kisses, caressing her body and skilfully unbuttoned Sula’s shirt in the dark with one hand, the other moved slowly between her legs...
Before Feline knew it, Sula was on top of her, like a predator; biting her neck and burying her face between her breasts, cupping them with her hands, finding her nipples which were already hard. Panting and moaning their bodies entwined and their hands locked together, their lovemaking was desperate but deep and they both climaxed at the same time with the other’s name on each of their lips…
~~~
In a sudden state of a shock Sula opened her eyes, calling out Feline’s name, her face flushed and with a throbbing wet feeling between her legs. She looked around; she was in her own bedroom.
A dream, it was just a dream…She felt her round belly, she could feel a twinge and glanced over at a still sleeping, soft snoring Felix. It was not yet morning, and still dark outside, just like in the dream...
I’ll go and see her this morning, Sula decided. Before she leaves.
/>
~~~
Feline had said she would leave in two days’ time, but she had actually gone the morning after. Feline hated saying goodbye.
It had now been a month since she’d left Rosinhill and she missed Sula with every heartbeat, but hopefully in the spring she would return with the answers to their questions.
She had followed the sun south, and headed for the West now. Usually she would head south and then east, camping out in the wild, but this time she stayed overnight in inns as the cold weather had already set in and the damp bothered her shoulder. But soon it would start to get warmer; she could feel the rise in temperature already, ever so slightly, the further south she was, as she was closer to the sun. Her island, Irinia, would have to wait. She remembered Sula saying that it was here; Randaria, in the dunes of Naru that Shazar had gone to live. Hidden away no doubt, like a rabbit in a hole, so more than likely it would be very hard to find him.
It was cloudy today, so Feline needed to take her compass out of her saddlebag and with one hand holding the map she stared from one to the other. The friendly innkeeper from the night before had very kindly marked the map for her and was relieved to discover when looking at the landscape ahead of her, that she was getting closer. The steppes and plains had gradually changed to undulating fields with friendly birch and small patches of spruce and she could see the first dunes in the distance through the trees. She could almost smell the sea. This trip had so far cost her quite a few pennies along the way and she had had to sell several items to fund the journey. But deep down she knew the sacrifice would be well worth it. A few blonde strands blew in her face from out of her ponytail and while lost in her thoughts she brushed them behind her ear and mounted her horse, Ula, once again.
The Comyenti Series Book Bundle, Volume 1 and 2 (Epic Romantic Supernatural Fantasy) Page 26
