Mother, how could you leave me like that?
Again, the moment of her death came to him; the intense knowing that morning, that something was wrong and the urge for him to make his way to the cliff edge. The cold wind tugged at his clothes and his hair during the long walk and the rain slashed into his eyes, like small knives piercing through his skin. Seeing her on the edge; her long blond hair whipping wildly around her, her arms spread out wide as if she embraced the wind, the mountains, the sea, the very world and heaven itself…
He had moved forward against the wind to warn her not to step too close to the edge. What was she doing there anyway? And then suddenly nothing…she was gone.
That moment would haunt him for the rest of his life. He hadn’t been fast or strong enough to fight the wind to get to her in time…Once again, being a mere human, had let him down. Unlike his father who, had he been there, could have saved her no doubt. With his countless skills, his abilities, his power. But no, not Twello. He was no comyenti.
More guilt piled up on Twello’s soul. If only he could have had the same powers as him. Even though his mother must have thought she had been all alone and couldn’t have known her son witnessed it all, Twello had most definitely seen her jump.
‘You see, I can forgive you for leaving me. I knew you’d always struggled living in this harsh world with your memories, your sensitivity. And even though you’d found peace within, companionship, a home and love to lighten your burden, it wasn’t enough to heal your wounds. You gave your heart and soul to us…to him. But tell me one thing…how can I ever forgive that man for what he drove you to? How can I forgive him for what he has done to us? You would have answered, no doubt, that I have to let go of my anger and that the most courageous thing to do, is to be kind to the ones who may not deserve it but who need it the most. Indeed, a stranger maybe but… him? He used to be my hero, my wizard. Oh, the irony of it.
Please, mother, tell me how can I forgive… my father?’
Part I Home
Once more I see valleys and mountains
Like those in my youth,
And the same wind cools my hot brow,
And there is gold on the snow as there used to be.
A.O. Vinje
Chapter 1 Missing
A warm and gentle breeze whispered through the newly blossoming cherry trees causing some of the pink petals to lift and swirl playfully about the trees and the bluebells below. Like snow they softly filled the fragrant spring air. The petals twirled and danced joyfully, and even though it brought back the memory of falling snow, it was the opposite of the icy scenery when Sula had first arrived in Rosinhill.
She looked in her garden and spotted a butterfly daintily fluttering around, a bright yellow one; the first this year!
How early! Sula thought as she looked at the scenery with warmth in her heart from her bedroom window, which was level with her garden. Her dark hair was tousled and her cheeks rosy; she looked more beautiful than ever in her tranquil state.
Sula was stirred from her thoughts by the moving, warm, little body of her baby son in her arms. Smiling she stroked his tiny head which was covered with a tuft of thick black hair. “Son of the Sun” they called him as he seemed to shine with an inner light and of course, because Sula’s name meant “Sun” in the ancient, long lost comyenti language, a symbol of light and hope.
He was, of course, their hope as was she and her halfling daughter Fay. They were the last of their kind. There was a full comyenti, Shazar, as well, but halfling Sula didn’t count him anymore, as he was nothing she expected a comyenti to be. She had blocked him out of her memories and hoped she would never have to see him again.
‘She should have been here by now,’ Felix said, interrupting Sula’s musings by touching her arm lightly, trying to guess her thoughts. ‘Sis knew you were due early spring!’
Sula glanced up at him with an equally worried look and nodded.
‘I know, don’t be angry with her. This isn’t like her, but-’
‘But what, dear?’ he asked her.
Sula tried to hide her worries from him. Naturally her husband, being human, couldn’t read her mind like she, a half-breed comyenti, could after their bonding; the unique HeartMerge. Ever since that first time she sensed when Felix was near and could hear his thoughts as if they were her own. Sometimes she even wondered which ones were her own as the pair had grown so close over the years. So much so that Sula had to block him out from time to time so as not to go insane. On the other hand, Felix had managed to keep her out, if he felt she needed it; not that he kept any secrets from her, but he knew his wife by now and how too many thoughts and images (“too much input”, as she called it) confused her and left her drained. He could still his active mind and had learnt to meditate, like her and Fay. Since then things between them ran smoother. Sula still missed Feline immensely, for not only did her sister-in-law understand what she had been going through, she seemed, somehow, to have been a better match. Sula could only imagine what if would have been like if she had met Feline that day on the ice and not Felix. A flashback from many years before suddenly appeared in front of her inner eye. Something she hadn’t thought about in years:
‘You have many years to live,’ Sula’s mother whispered to her, squeezing her hand with her last strength. Sula sighed and bit her lip. She knew her mother must think her stubborn, more than she herself had ever been. The woman’s eyes were suddenly bright green as she pleaded for her to listen. Pearls of sweat lay on her knotted brow. Through their bond, Sula felt her mother was in terrible pain, as if a fire consumed her from within. It tore them both apart. She dipped a cloth in a bowl with cold water, squeezed it and placed the cool material on her mother’s lips and forehead. The older woman closed her eyes for a moment. Please, darling, you are our last hope, her mother spoke in her mind.
Sula stared at her through her tears, dumbstruck. Her mother lay on her bed of straw in a cave they had found after she had been too feeble to travel on. Sula’s mother, who was never ill, had caught something mysterious; an illness that even she couldn’t seem to get rid of. None of Sula’s herbs, brews, cool cloths, nor tender, loving care had worked. Not even Sula’s comyenti powers could save her.
The light of the lamp flickered on the walls and her mother’s beautiful face, even with the dark rings and hollow eyes, glistened with sweat and was red from fever; a fever that didn’t die down. But she spoke clearly for the first time in all those days, however Sula knew that it was nothing to be hopeful about. They were her last words.
‘You’ve got a duty to fulfil; you are the last of our line. You can still continue the… search but promise me, Sula that you will find a mate and bear a child.’
‘I…I promise, Mother,’ Sula cried.
Her mother had smiled and closed her eyes peacefully, her breathing becoming irregular and raspy.
Sula shook up from those painful memories. Yes, I know, Mother. I wouldn’t have had Fay, my first child. It was as if with the memory her mother had tried to remind her. Still, Sula couldn’t stop thinking what could have been… She may still have decided for Felix to father her child, however she might have chosen to live a life of travelling with Feline. Shazar, after all, would still have found her… Oh, how could she think those wicked thoughts? Felix was a good man and more sensitive than most. Now, more than ever, did she feel guilty as Felix had no idea of her inner struggles. It would surely hurt him to know. And Feline loved her brother and had been so virtuous about it all.
‘What if she doesn’t come back at all?’ Sula said out loud, suddenly aware of her surroundings again, noticing Felix’ worrying look. What if I chased her away altogether with my foolish behaviour?
‘Don’t you worry now, she’ll be back soon,’ Jolaz, Felix’ father, assured her with a comforting, warm smile. He had overheard them as he stepped into the bedroom carrying a big basket of fruit in his arms. ‘She always does. When the swallows return, so does Feline.’
Jol
az was followed closely by his impatient wife, Feasgar, who was trying to get past him, and was soon cooing over the little one.
‘Aw, he looks so much like you, Sula dear!’ Feasgar clapped her hands with tears in her eyes and then reached out her arms for the baby.
Sula smiled at her upon seeing her. She was very fond of Felix’ gentle mother and handed the baby boy over to her so she could cuddle him.
‘Congratulations, Sula,’ Jolaz said and kissed her on the forehead. He was a small gentle man with white hair and laughter lines. Feasgar had been blond like her children, but was now greying a little at the sides, although she did dye it with chamomile. Her eyes were as strikingly blue as Felix’ and she was almost as tall as Jolaz. She kissed the baby and leaned over to Sula to kiss her on the cheek.
‘Hey, what about me?’ Felix complained mockingly. ‘I’m the daddy!’
Feasgar turned to her son, who looked tired but glowed with pride, and said with a shake of her head, ‘Ah, but it wasn’t you who did all the hard work, son.’
She gave him a kiss, too and his father laughingly patted him on the back.
‘Have you got a name yet?’ Jolaz asked curiously, looking from one parent to the other and then resting his smiling eyes on the baby. He had his eyes closed but moved his fingers; which were slender and petite.
‘Uh, you know we can’t tell you yet, dad! Nameday is not for another couple of weeks,’ Felix said a little annoyed.
‘I know but a granddad can hope, right?’
Felix knew his father wanted him to name their first son after him, but Sula was adamant about naming the boy herself, a name she had heard in one of her dreams: Aigle. She didn’t know what it meant yet, perhaps it referred to an eagle? Was it in the old comyenti language she didn’t speak? Either way, she saw it as a sign from her ancestors; her mother perhaps. Felix respected her and wasn’t bothered either way, but knew his father would be disappointed. Sula and Felix had discussed it, though. They could always name their second son Jolaz?
Feasgar tried to distract Jolaz and turned her attention to Fay, who sat quietly on the foot of the bed, taking it all in.
‘What do you think he should be called, sweetheart?’
‘A-’ Fay started but Sula warned her quickly with her mind, not to tell. It was their way, the way of the Rosinhillers, not the comyenti way; as a mother like Sula, would already know the name the moment she laid her eyes on her baby. Sula respected Felix’ people and tried to teach her daughter to do the same.
Fay sat with her mouth open, not knowing what to say.
‘Have you lost your tongue again, missy?’ Granddad teased and they all laughed when Fay coloured and smiled a little at the family joke. She had been late with starting to speak; only when she was two and a half did she finally utter her first word out loud: Daddy. Before that time she had kept mostly quiet, however she spoke to her mother very clearly with her mind; from the early age of one. She had been using images and simple words to tell Sula what she needed or wanted and therefore had no real need to articulate out loud. Sula had tried to press the matter with the little girl; that she needed to practise using her voice box and tongue and that her father couldn’t read minds. Fay understood quicker than anticipated but was still occasionally confused as to why she could hear her mummy’s thoughts and communicate with her in her mind, whereas when she heard her daddy’s thoughts and tried to reach out to his mind he seemed to be deaf. The same with her grandparents. It seemed her mother was the only one she could talk to with her mind, the rest were deaf to her and her mother’s thoughts. And that’s what really triggered Fay to talk, her need to be understood by everyone else.
‘Do you know why we named your daddy ‘Felix’, Fay?’ Grandma Feasgar asked the girl.
Fay shook her head vigorously.
‘Well, when your daddy and your auntie were a couple of days old me and your granddad were struggling with what to call them both, and then our cat, Thomkin, named them for us.’
Fay’s eyes widened at that and she asked, ‘Your cat spoke to you?’
Feasgar and Jolaz exchanged a loving look and she smiled warmly at the girl. ‘No, not exactly, but you could say in a way he did because you see, from day one, he was so charmed by the twins, so charmed that he never left the bedroom, apart from going to eat and to the toilet. He slept at our feet, close to their cot, peeking over and purring away. He even sat on my knee when I tried to feed your daddy and auntie. Thomkin watched over them when strangers came into the house. But what was even more special was the babies’ reactions. The very fact they both loved him so much; they followed him with their eyes, and started making small, funny sounds and always smiled when Thomkin was near. In fact the cat got more smiles and kisses than we ever did!’ Feasgar laughed and Felix winked at Fay who sat there smiling at her father proudly. She loved the fact that her dad loved cats so much, almost as much as she did.
‘So it was clear to us that they should have catlike names and therefore, Felix and Feline it was.’
Sula smiled sleepily and held Felix’ hand, glancing around the room. She radiated a deep love for these people, her eyes shone brightly and the emerald green in them interspersed with orange specks as if a thousand suns were shining. They were all here; her family: Felix, his parents, Fay and their cats, Wave and Tiger who were curled up next to Fay. Sula felt a warmth around her heart. But still…it wasn’t complete; her own mother wasn’t there for a start nor…Feline.
Where was she and why hadn’t she returned from the South yet? Her parents missed her, her niece and her brother and Sula had had a terrible time over the winter, not knowing if she was alright. Sula understood Feline; she had always travelled to the warmer south every winter, for she hated the cold as it pained her injured shoulder. She had been quite late in leaving last year. However, she had always returned in the spring to help her mum and dad on their farm and her brother on his wherever she was needed. Then why not this year or was she on her way back and got held up somehow?
Felix was visibly worried too. He shared a special bond with his sister; being twins. And although they had grown apart over the years, he sensed something was wrong. He tried to keep his worries from Sula, as he knew it made things worse for her.
A young woman alone on the road… thought Felix, and although proud of Feline, he had never liked it, nor had her parents, but they couldn’t stop her and understood her need for freedom and pain relief. Nothing else seemed to have worked so far; only a warm climate.
And my hands, Sula thought back lovingly to the picture of her using her powers, radiating warmth through her hands to Feline’s shoulder. It had helped somewhat…Perhaps she has decided to stay indefinitely this time? Sula wondered and tried to remember the moment she had asked Feline about this. How had she replied? She searched her mind and soon remembered: “I will one day but not while my parents are still alive.”
Feline felt it was her perfect lifestyle; so well balanced and it made everyone happy. It was just the way she was and it suited her; having two homes, one in the South and one in the North. No one to share them with…However Sula knew Feline wasn’t the kind of person to have just one steady relationship, given the fact that she never wanted to be tied down. She was too free and independent for that, even more so than Sula ever was, and she, being one of the last comyentis, searching for others like her, had of course led a nomadic life style before meeting Felix.
That’s why she couldn’t commit to me… Sula bit her lip and fought back tears, feeling guilty for thinking that way. I have chased her away with my desire for her.
Questions, there were so many questions in her tired mind. It had been a long night and the labour, although easier than it had been with Fay, had still been lengthy and exhausting.
Felix, captivated as ever by his wife’s beauty, noticed her red-rimmed eyes and tired, staring look.
‘Right, folks, it’s time for the new mummy to get some rest.’
Aigle let out a startled sharp
cry in protest and turned crimson.
‘And someone needs feeding me thinks,’ Felix smiled and picked his crying, wriggling son up from out of Feasgar’s arms.
Felix held the small boy in his arms, rocking him. He soon fell quiet again.
‘My son,’ Felix whispered, smiled and kissed him on the nose. He then laid him in his wife’s arms. The baby opened his eyes for a moment and due to not seeing much yet, instinctively started to feel for his mother with his tiny hands and mouth. Would he already pick up on her thoughts and emotions even at this young age? Felix wondered.
Jolaz and Feasgar each blew Sula a kiss and said goodbye to the baby. Felix had to almost shove them out of the bedroom as the pair couldn’t stop cooing over mother and son.
They look so proud and loving. Sula thought and smiled warmly at her parents-in- law. When they were gone, she opened the neck of her nightdress to free one breast which had already started to ooze milk in response to the baby’s needs.
~~~
Nights of broken sleep and lots of laundry followed for Sula and Felix. Felix had a natural way with Aigle and rocked him to sleep whenever he had a tummy ache or was overtired after his milk. He let Sula nap when the baby was awake and Fay helped as much as she could with the chores. It was spring and all hands were needed on the farm, with the sowing of the vegetables and flowers. Feline’s help was greatly missed but they all tried their best not to mention her name too much as it brought a sad ambience.
When Aigle was three months old, Felix decided to go and look for his sister. It would take him a couple of weeks to make the long journey to the South from the Balla Mountains range and its friendly village of Rosinhill, to her island. He knew the route. Feline had talked a great deal about it and had showed him maps. Felix had never visited her self-built winter home close to the sea, for she had never wanted any visitors. It was almost as if she kept a secret there. He had often teased her about it and had been very eager to see it for himself. If she were at home, at least he would have a valid excuse for his visit; their worry about her and the news that she had become an aunt again would surely please her? She loved Fay and the girl missed her too.
The Comyenti Series Book Bundle, Volume 1 and 2 (Epic Romantic Supernatural Fantasy) Page 28
