As expected, the night was bitter and I rubbed my hands together wondering how long my gloves could stand the friction. With the morning light came the sound of a chopper from somewhere behind me. I tensed. I knew the drop would occur before my team arrived and was anxious to get this over with.
The chopper set down and three men exited. I didn’t move my eye from my sight. A boat came near the shore and the men standing near the chopper started to unload several crates.
Grigori was stepping out of the boat with two other men. The three of them made their way toward the boxes. I saw one of Grigori’s men bend down and open all of the crates.
They were full of weapons. I steadied myself and considered the man who was receiving a briefcase from Grigori. I’d only seen the back of his head and didn’t realize he’d be familiar as well. My brain still wouldn’t allow me to think emotionally. I personally knew some of the men I was sent to kill but it didn’t affect me like I thought it should. They were the ones selling the contraband, after all. I knew I’d be able to take all six of them, but I needed to get them in a particular order to throw everyone off.
Grigori would be first. I felt the kick of my gun and chambered the next round. Next, I took out one of the men who’d come with Grigori. By now, the four left standing had their guns trained on each other and were all talking at the same time.
I pulled the trigger again, dropping one of the men I once knew. Again, I felt the kick of the weapon and saw another body drop. The two remaining men were running for the boat but fell to the ground in a heap before they made it halfway there. I surveyed the scene with a clinical aloofness. Every man who’d stepped foot on that shore that morning, would remain there.
I stood from my hiding spot and pushed the button on my GPS watch. This was the signal to set my team to its task. I’d meet White elsewhere for retrieval.
I hiked out with my self-awareness slowly returning. The stillness was no longer there and I started to bawl. I knew two of those men out there and I’d taken their lives. They were running guns I reminded myself and the crying stopped. I analyzed my feelings and my emotion didn’t come from killing any of the six men. It was a release of energy I’d been suppressing. Instead, I used this energy to get myself to the extraction point.
White was waiting on a lake with the plane instead of the chopper.
“And?” White asked as I strapped in.
“And, it’s done.”
A small group from Team Grey had left the compound in Jeeps as soon as White received my GPS transmission and were just arriving on scene. White was receiving the operations transmissions and handed me a headset of my own.
“I see six down and no movement. Proceed with caution,” I heard someone say. White gave me a questioning look.
After a short time I heard someone else say, “All clear. Grab the merchandise, men.” Then, from the same voice, “Shit! It’s Johns.” I watched the color drain from White’s face as he turned to look at me.
I gave him a slow nod and added, “and Sullivan.”
“Sealed envelope is in place. Let’s move!” The urgency in the man’s voice reminded me I’d killed my own men.
“I brought you a change of clothes.” White motioned to a duffle bag in the back.
“Keep your eyes forward,” I ordered as I started to undress. White complied and didn’t steal any peeks when I was watching.
We set down on the lake of our compound just as I was stuffing my used garb back into the bag. White took it from me and exited the plane. I carried my rifle back to my room with White trailing behind me.
“What the hell went on out there?” he asked as soon as we were inside my room with the door shut.
“I did my job,” I didn’t feel like talking about it.
“Johns?”
“Yes, and Sullivan.” I shrugged my shoulders. I wouldn’t allow him to make me feel guilty for a job he’d brought to me.
“I didn’t see this coming. What do I tell the men? Johns was demoted but he was still stationed here.”
“Let’s get down to C.I.C. and follow this to the end.”
“Stevens.” He was sitting at a computer.
“Commander,” he had a sick look on his face.
“Where are the men?” I asked.
“About an hour out yet, Ma’am.”
“I hear Johns was among the dead?” I feigned innocence.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Well, he was one of us. We need to find out what was going on out there. Even if the client doesn’t want us to know.” I knew I’d done the right thing, but knew there’d be questions. “White, you go talk to the C.O. and find out everything you can about Johns and Sullivan, Stevens and I will work from here.”
I took a seat at a computer screen and punched in my unrestricted password. I pulled up the same information I’d found before and printed out the relevant pieces.
After White returned I handed him the paperwork.
“What did you find out?” I asked before he could look at the information in his hands. He told me the C.O. had given Johns a week of R&R and he wasn’t due back until tomorrow. “No one has seen or heard from Sullivan, since we fired him.”
I allowed White to read what Johns and Sullivan had been up to and waited for him to begin the conversation again.
He took me aside so Stevens couldn’t hear our conversation then started, “You knew, didn’t you.”
“Of course I did. What I don’t know is, how do we explain this to the men?”
“I think we can give them a brief version to allay their concerns.”
The men returned at the expected time. During the debriefing, White made it clear, the only reason the men were privy to any of this information was for morale purposes and because of the proximity to the company. He then went on to tell them that we’d been sent out to clean up a gun deal gone wrong.
The condensed version of what they witnessed visibly helped the men and they all walked out of C.I.C. with a load off their shoulders.
When they were all gone, White handed me the briefcase they’d recovered and said, “Here’s the remainder of your payment, less twenty-five percent for the company, of course.”
I didn’t expect this and my mouth dropped open. I considered refusing, but decided against it. I didn’t know how much was in the case but wondered how I’d claim it on my taxes.
White and I returned to the office the next day and I went straight to my apartment. I didn’t want to be around people and reluctantly answered my door when I saw Colin through the peephole.
“I’ve come to see how you’re doing,” he admitted as I let him in.
“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, Porter’s disappearance for one thing and now this other thing your team was involved in…” Colin hesitated, a look of empathy on his face.
“I’m sorry men from the company were involved. I know hearing about their deaths can’t be easy for you. White informed me that all the participants were already dead when your team arrived. At least they weren’t met with enemy fire. I’ve got a team of my own already en-route to ‘discover’ the bodies. It’s probably a good thing you didn’t go out with the team.” I knew Colin had hired my team for the retrieval so I’d assumed he knew about my outside job. Now I wondered.
His sympathetic speech made me raise my eyebrows. He thought I couldn’t handle seeing dead people. I knew he’d hired my team for retrieval but he had no knowledge or my job.
“Colin, I’m fine.” I put my hands on my hips for emphasis. “I don’t think I ever told you this but, I’ve killed before. That’s sometimes a part of my job. And, I’ve even had a price on my head by one of the richest men in the world.” My voice was callous as I referred to a side effect of the K&G job I was sure he was aware of. But I wanted him to understand I could hold my own in any situation. His pity was misplaced and just flat pissed me off.
“What? You never told me you’d killed someone. Why didn’t you tell
me?” He was shocked.
“Didn’t think it was something to brag about. Plus, I didn’t want you to think of me differently. But, I don’t like you thinking I can’t cope with everything my job might bring my way.” By now, my brow was furrowed in anger.
“I know you’re right, Alex. I knew what this company did when you took the job. I didn’t really consider you being put into these kinds of positions and I’ll just have to get used to it. I presumed they’d keep you closer to home with your jobs. Utilize your computer skills and keep you safer.”
“I don’t care if you ever get used to the idea of me doing what I do. I love this job.” We were quiet long enough for me to get even more worked up. “I take that back about not caring if you get used to it or not. You better get used to it if you are going to take the Admiral’s place and wish to use the company. If you request I’m not used in any mission because you are afraid I might get hurt, you’ll be the one getting hurt.” I was furious but Colin found my diatribe funny.
“I know. I think I needed this ass chewing to remind me of how capable you really are.” He knew I was fuming and tried to calm me down with a rub to my arm. I pulled away which surprised him. “Alex, I’m trying to apologize here. You are my best friend and I don’t want to ever lose you, especially to something I’ve done.”
I quieted my attitude. “I understand, Colin. But, we have each made our own decisions and we have to live with whatever they bring.”
We changed the subject and tried to catch up. Our conversation remained strained until Colin left. Before now, I’d never found myself wishing Colin wasn’t in the same room with me. When he finally did leave, I felt relieved but empty.
Over the next hour I sat on my couch, feeling sorry for myself, again. Colin had no faith in me, White had a girlfriend, had me killing people, and I felt fat. When I caught myself standing in front of my bathroom mirror with my shirt raised I knew I was being stupid.
Colin was trying to protect me and White was just being a man trying to further my career. I guess I don’t mind Colin’s concern. It was sweet. As for White’s girlfriend, it was none of my business unless I chose to express my feelings and then, only if he felt the same. His job choices for me were much more important right now than his bed partners. I decided to really think about what I’d done. I’d killed six men, two of whom I’d actually had conversations with. But, I didn’t feel any real loss other than my innocence.
I put my shoes on and ended up driving around. Somehow I ended up in my parent’s driveway. I went with the flow and spent the evening talking with my mother about my sniper training. I wanted to tell her about my recent job but knew I couldn’t tell anyone, though she probably already knew. One of my main concerns I expressed to her was actually killing and how to get past it. I thought if anyone would know what I was going through, she would. I wasn’t disappointed and returned to my apartment feeling much better.
*****
Chapter Twelve
White was waiting in the lobby when I returned and he rode the elevator up with me.
“I told you I need to know where you are at all times until we find out about Evans,” he scolded.
“I had some thinking to do and I didn’t know where I was going or when I’d be back.” I actually liked the attention from White but I didn’t like the restrictions so my tone was defiant.
“I know you don’t like this,” he started.
“Do you hover like this when it happens to another partner?” I interrupted.
“That’s just the thing. It doesn’t happen. There’s something about you that just,” he paused, “draws attention.”
I stepped off the elevator at my floor and he followed me. This I didn’t expect.
“I suppose you want to come in,” I said rudely. I wanted nothing more than to spend time with him but I couldn’t get Lacewell out of my head.
“I don’t have to come in.” White was clearly stunned at my remark.
“I’m sorry. Of course you can come in.” I reminded myself that his choice of lovers was of no relevance to our working relationship or friendship. We entered my apartment and he went immediately to my couch and made himself at home. My clothes from the Emma Robertson job were still in the suitcases and I decided to take the time to put them away.
“Would you make some coffee?” I asked as I carried a suitcase to my bedroom.
“Sure,” he replied from the kitchen as I opened the case. The phone I’d been given was on top of the clothes and blinking. I had a message.
“White?” I held the phone out in front of myself as I walked toward the kitchen.
“What’s this?” He gave me a curious look.
“Emma’s phone and there are several messages.”
“Who is it?”
“It must be Evans.”
After pushing some buttons White put the phone to his ear. I watched his face for any hints about the message. He only listened to a couple of the messages and didn’t reveal anything until he hung up and called Red from his own phone. He gave Red the address of the apartment I used as Emma and told him to check it out with extreme caution and get back with him right away.
“It was Evans?” I thought I already knew the answer.
“No. It was someone named Sal. Said he had Evans and would keep him until you showed up.”
My mouth went dry as I thought about Evans and the message. Sal had been a zealous flirt but I didn’t think he would have done anything like this. I hoped Red and Green would find Evans and bring him back. I felt guilty for not having the phone on me.
White must have read my expression and told me I couldn’t have known this was going to happen.
I went back to putting my clothes away while we waited for Red to call back. For some reason it felt like he might call sooner if I just got these clothes out of the way. I quickly finished the job and Red still hadn’t called.
“Maybe you should call him back.”
“No. He’ll call. Be patient.”
White and I sat on the couch sipping our coffee for what seemed like an eternity. I watched my feet for a bit and then moved my gaze to White’s boots. I studied them for a while before I realized how close they were to my own. I immediately felt restless. If White were really seeing Lacewell I felt uncomfortable sitting this close to him. Especially since I felt the way I did about him. I’d resolved to dislike Lacewell but if White liked her I wouldn’t want to do anything to disrupt his happiness. As my mind raced with thoughts like this my eyes were slowly making observations of White’s feet, legs, and finally his arm before his phone rang. My eyes jumped to his and he was watching me inquisitively. Time stopped. The phone rang again before his eyes left mine. I was breathless. White had given me all kinds of looks but nothing ever so potently amorous. He hung up after a couple of affirmative answers to quick questions and one “Yes, Grey’s apartment.” I was still unsettled by the few seconds our eyes had locked and I didn’t trust my voice to ask him who it was. Instead I adverted my eyes and rose to get coffee. I didn’t know if the look was calculated on his part and was afraid to ask.
Neither of us spoke as I brought the pot over to give White a refill. While I put the pot back on the burner there was a knock at my door. My mind was aflutter with thoughts of White as I headed toward the door to answer it.
“I’ve got it,” I noticed White rise to answer it himself.
When I opened the door it was like being slapped in the face. Lacewell tried to walk past me into my apartment as if I weren’t even at the door.
“I’m here to see White.” Her tone was full of disdain and contempt when I stood in her way.
I didn’t reply. Instead I looked her up and down like she’d done to me and shut the door in her face.
“What did you do that for?” White was asking as Lacewell knocked insistently on my door.
“If you let her into my apartment I’ll punch you right in the mouth.” I growled, standing in front of my door with my hands balled into t
ight fists.
“Are you serious?”
“You’re damn right I’m serious.” Lacewell’s incessant beating on my door had stopped and White’s phone rang.
“Just hold on, Lacewell,” White sounded exasperated tone. “Alex, you have to let her in. She’s here because of Evans.”
I surrendered and relaxed my clenched hands. White started to reach past me for the doorknob. He stopped when he was close enough I could have heard his heartbeat if I’d have held my breath. He faltered, his arm falling back to his side. He sighed loudly and said, “Okay.” Lifting his phone back to his ear he then said, “Just meet us at the office,” then he hung up.
I walked past him, retrieved my coffee from the kitchen then made my way back to the couch. I had no intentions of going to meet with Lacewell.
“We’ll give her a chance to stand there for a while before we go down.” White joined me.
“Why?” I had to know why.
“She pisses me off a lot, too,” he shrugged.
“But, shouldn’t you take her side in this?”
“Was she right?”
“No,” of that I was sure.
“Then, no.”
“Won’t this get you into trouble?” I loved the fact that he was taking my side but couldn’t help but prod. I wanted to make sure he and Lacewell weren’t a couple.
White narrowed his eyes at me as a devilish grin spread across his face. “In trouble with whom?”
“Her.”
“I suppose, to some extent.” The grin was still there. He added, “We better get down there before Red calls. This is very unprofessional.”
I nodded and got to my feet. Though I hadn’t planned on going to the office I had to see their reactions to each other. I hadn’t gotten any information from him and his villainous grin had confused me. Did he know I was pushing for information or was he smiling like that for another reason?
Reflections of Grey: Book Three of the Alexis Stanton Chronicles Page 16
