“We don’t need a condom.”
He turned back. “Yeah, we do. I don’t wanna get ya pregnant.”
“We’re not having sex.”
“But, I thought—”
“I wanna do other stuff, like touching and kissing your…” She giggled. “…penis. I didn’t get to do it properly the other day. And I also want you to touch my breasts.”
“Okay,” he said, disappointed. A blowjob was cool, but she’d gotten him hoping for more. “Close your eyes then.”
She smiled. “I’ve seen your penis before.”
“Yeah, but I feel weird with you watching me like that.”
Giggling, she closed her eyes.
He removed his underwear and slipped under the covers. Tiana jumped at his touch. She opened her eyes and smiled shyly at him, then snuggled up close. He hugged her back. This time he was going to do things right, even if it was going to kill him.
17
Jenna
Not fucking again—literally! She’d seen Ash and Tiana head in the direction of Ash’s house, Tiana practically running. But this time Tiana wasn’t getting away with it, because there was one thing Jenna knew and it was that they weren’t allowed out during lunch.
She walked over to Joel, who was sitting on the row of benches in front of their English class. He was staring across the quad at Lavinia as she ate with Sonia and Monika. Jenna didn’t know where Ash’s other two mates were, but it was better this way, because she didn’t want an audience. Plus, if she got into a fight with Joel, she’d much rather not have Marko and Ant interfere again.
Joel looked up as she stopped in front of him. Even with his messy dreadlocks, he really was cute-looking. If anything the dreads framed his face nicely, just a pity it came with a sneer and one agro personality. Yeah, she still wanted to smack him one—or five-hundred—but held back, more interested in making him do what she wanted.
“Piss off, skank, before I bitch-slap ya for yesterday.”
Jenna stuffed her hands into her skirt pockets, willing herself not to react this time—no matter what the creep said. “Do you still believe Tiana cheated on Ash?”
“Why you bugging me again? You’re like bloody crabs.”
Yeah, I bet you know what they feel like, you grotty bastard. “Just answer me.”
“Will ya piss off if I do?”
No. “Yup.”
“Yeah, Tiana cheated on him. That may have been her bro yesterday, but the slut still sucked off Monika’s boyfriend.” He craned his neck to look around Jenna.
She glanced over her shoulder at the Catholic congregation. “Why’re you staring at them for?”
“I’ve answered your question, so go back to your lesbo mate, cos I betcha Tub-a-lub is dying to eat you out.” He made an obscene gesture with his hand and tongue.
Jenna gritted her teeth. Not going to react, not going to react… “She’s not a lesbian and you are gonna help me.”
“You said you’d leave.”
“Not until you help me.”
“There’s no way I’m helping your lying arse.”
“Yes, you are, cos Ash and Tiana are goin’ at it again.”
“If he’s too stupid to listen to me it’s his own fault.”
“So, you don’t wanna split ‘em up?”
“Tried and failed.”
“Then, you didn’t try hard enough.” She held out a piece of paper. “This is Tiana’s number. Ring it and say she skipped school with a boy, but don’t mention Ash’s name cos I don’t want him gettin’ into trouble. Make it sound like you’re a teacher, then hopefully she’ll get banned from seeing him.”
He shoved her hand away. “That’s one of the lamest things I’ve ever heard.”
“Is not, so ring it now.”
“With what? I don’t have a phone on me.”
“I saw you with a mobile at homeroom.”
“That piece of junk wuz Ant’s. And he got it taken offa him in art class.”
“Then ring when ya get home.”
“Fuck off, I ain’t a dobber, and I’ll be telling Ash ‘bout your dumbarse plan.”
“That means you are a dobber, you idiot.”
“Bitch.”
“Funny, I thought you wanted to split ‘em up after that tanty you threw at Tiana yesterday.”
“I didn’t throw a tantrum.”
“Whatever. So … why’re you sitting alone today? Where are tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber?”
“Shut your mouth, before I smack it shut.”
“Don’t your mates like you when Ash isn’t around?”
“They’re playing rugby, not cos they don’t like me.”
“So, you think they don’t like you?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“And where would Ash be if he wasn’t with Tiana now?”
“With me.”
“He likes rugby too.”
“Not as much as the other two, plus he’s my mate, he wouldn’t leave me alone.”
“Like now?”
He grimaced. “Why won’t you piss off?”
“I’ll leave you alone if you phone Tiana’s parents after school.” She held out the paper again.
He stared at it for a moment, then snatched it off her. “I’ll think about it.”
She glanced at the Catholic congregation, her attention on Lavinia. “You know, people will think you like Lavinia with the way you stare at her. I saw the way you almost spurted in your panties when you thought she was gonna sit next to you in class. It was hilarious.”
He stood up. “Piss off!”
Disgusted, she wiped her face. “Say it, don’t spray it, and you better ring that number or I’m telling Lavinia all about your incestual secret.”
“We’re not related by blood.”
“It won’t make much difference to Lavinia. So, you gonna ring that number or am I gonna have a wee chat to Lavinia about brotherly love?”
His jaw clenched for a few seconds before he spoke. “‘kay.”
Happy with his answer, she spun around and walked towards Lavinia, ignoring Joel’s “Hey!” She sat down on the bench next to Lavinia, who looked at her with a puzzled expression. Jenna waved at Joel from across the quad. He walked off in a rush, disappearing behind classrooms.
“What do ya want?” Lavinia asked.
“To sit here.”
“What about your friends?”
“I told them I was busy.”
“But, you’re not.”
Jenna smiled to herself as she pulled out her lunch. Yeah, she was busy alright, busy causing a whole world of trouble.
18
Ash and Tiana
They didn’t mean for things to go so far, but one touch led to another and…
ASH
She was naked…
TIANA
She couldn’t believe she was doing this.
ASH
…and in his bed.
TIANA
She tried to distract herself by kissing his lips, but his hands were everywhere.
ASH
He was scared she was going to change her mind with the way she was shaking, so he decided to try Hunter’s advice.
TIANA
He disappeared under the covers and started doing stuff to her below. It terrified her, but she still didn’t tell him to stop because it felt sooo good. She didn’t look or understand what he was doing down there—or how he was doing it—but it was way better than anything she’d ever done with her hand, and he had her making the most embarrassing noises.
ASH
Could it also be called a blowjob when done on a female? He didn’t know, but with all her moaning she seemed to like it. Even though he was suffocating under those damn blankets, he forced himself to continue. Maybe if he’d done this to Jenna they wouldn’t have broken up. Shit, why was he thinking about Jenna for?
TIANA
She cried out, feeling incredible. What on earth was that?
ASH
> Her reaction was driving him nuts. Unable to hold back anymore, he pushed the blankets off and entered her faster than he should have. Tiana’s pained expression made him freeze on top of her. Not again! Couldn’t he do anything fucking right?
TIANA
Although it hurt like crazy, Ash’s upset expression hurt more, so she grabbed him as he went to pull out and told him not to stop. Then the most beautiful smile lit up his face, making the pain not feel so bad. He started to move inside of her and after a little while pleasure replaced pain.
ASH
Oh…
Oh…
Not yet!
too late.
He didn’t mean to come so fast, but it was a hundred times better than wanking off.
He pulled out then froze. Shit, shit, shit! He didn’t use a condom.
TIANA
She didn’t know why Ash looked so concerned, like he’d done something wrong, because he did everything right as far as she was concerned. But he kept opening and closing his mouth, speechless. She guessed he didn’t expect things to turn out this way. Well, she didn’t either.
ASH
Should he tell her? But she looked so happy. Maybe he should take her to the doctor’s? But their parents might find out.
TIANA
It didn’t feel wrong like her mother or Father Jenkins had said. And it wasn’t disgusting like Iago proclaimed in Shakespeare’s Othello. No beasts with two backs lay here, just a joining of love.
ASH
Oh God, she was touching his...
Stuff it, they’d already done it once and it didn’t mean she’d get pregnant just from today. Yeah maybe she wouldn’t get preg…
Oh…
Oh…
TIANA
She giggled. He had the funniest expression.
ASH
Why was she laughing? She moved her hand away.
No, don’t stop…
Yeah, keep doing that…
TIANA
God, she loved him.
19
Tiana
Tiana wished she could stay in Ash’s arms, but things didn’t turn out that way. A car door slammed, sending her into a panic.
Ash grabbed her arm. “Stay put.” He pushed back the bedcovers and peeked through the curtains. “It’s just Chaz. He thinks we’re doin’ it anyway, so no needa worry.”
Tiana got out of bed, pulled on her knickers, then grabbed her bra. “We’re not s’posed to be outta school.”
“He doesn’t mind.”
She continued dressing. “He could tell my parents.”
“Doubt it. He doesn’t tell my mum, so why would he tell your parents? He doesn’t even know them.”
“He really does sound nice.” She zipped up her skirt.
“Guess so. Do ya wanna shower?”
She jumped as the front door banged. She did, but not with his stepdad in the house. “No, we should leave now.”
“Not before I clean myself. Stay in ‘ere, I’ll be quick.” He wrapped a sheet around his waist then left the room, shutting the door behind him.
Tiana did up the last button on her blouse, grabbed her socks and sat down on the bed. As she slipped them on the door reopened. Her eyes widened at the sight of Ash’s stepdad. Smiling, Chaz leaned against the doorframe with a grey jacket slung over one shoulder. He was dressed in matching trousers, a long-sleeved button down shirt, and a blue tie hanging loosely around his neck.
His smile widened. “Two girls in two days, that’s a record.”
Tiana went rigid.
“Don’t worry, love, I’m just teasing. Ash kicked Jenna out. She followed him home and refused to leave. White trash that girl, and with the dirtiest mouth.” His eyes moved to the messed up bed. “Guess you guys had a bit of fun. Hope you used protection.”
Tiana closed her eyes. Oh, God.
“Don’t tell me ya didn’t?”
She shook her head and opened her eyes.
“And after I gave him that talk.” Chaz opened a drawer and shifted through it, his expression unimpressed. “He even had condoms. Man, that kid can be thick at times.” He closed the drawer. “Well, ya better get in my van; I’ll take ya to the pharmacy.”
Terrified, Tiana remained seated.
Ash appeared in the doorway, his expression livid. “Get outta my room!”
“Get dressed,” Chaz said. “I’ve gotta get her the morning-after pill, cos you were too stupid to wear a condom.”
Ash’s glare disappeared. “I didn’t mean to, it just happened.”
Chaz placed an arm around Ash’s shoulders, making Ash look uncomfortable. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll sort things out.” Chaz let go then disappeared down the passage.
Ash closed the door. Facing away from Tiana, he dropped the towel and grabbed fresh underwear from the drawer. “I’m sorry.”
“‘Bout what?”
“For not wearing a condom.” He pulled on the underwear and turned back to her.
“No, it’s my fault. You asked, but I said no.”
He tugged on his school trousers. “I got carried away.”
“Me too, but as long as I take whatever pill your stepdad said, things’ll be alright. Won’t they?”
“Yeah, Chaz should know what he’s talking ‘bout, he’s old,” Ash said, picking up his shirt.
“He only looks about thirty.”
“Yeah, as I said, old.” He did up the buttons, then pulled out his art folder. He removed her picture, rolled it up, then grabbed his jumper. “Let’s go.”
***
Ash’s stepdad had gotten her the morning-after pill without a problem, then dropped her and Ash off at school. With ten minutes of maths left, they had made their way to class, discussing excuses. But they didn’t end up needing them, because Mr. Kennan hadn’t bothered to turn up. Five minutes later a different teacher had popped their head in, looking surprised upon finding them unsupervised. And surprisingly, no one had harassed her. Even Jenna didn’t give her any glares or snide remarks. Instead, the girl seemed perfectly happy, although Joel looked livid with Jenna sitting next to him. Tiana didn’t know what was up with that since she thought Jenna hated him, but she’d given up on trying to figure out the girl.
But, the car ride home with her mother and cousin had been horrible, the silence making her want to disappear. Yet, when they’d turned into their driveway Tiana had smiled, because at least she didn’t have to protest about not having had sex, the memory of being with Ash cheering her up.
Her mother pulled the handbrake on. “What’re you smiling at?”
Tiana quickly glanced out her window. “Nuthin’.”
“Just get out; I have to visit your brother. You and Monika will make dinner tonight.”
“Okay.” Tiana got out and walked around the front of the car, wishing she could tell Monika to eff-off. She wasn’t one to swear, but every time she looked at her cousin the need to do so almost hurt. And by Monika’s body language, she could tell her cousin wasn’t exactly enamoured with being with her either. She figured Monika was supposed to stop her from inviting all the boys in the neighbourhood over, making her feel like a modern day Desdemona being wrongly declared a whore.
Tiana unlocked the front door and headed for her room, trying her best to ignore Monika as her cousin followed.
“Is it really true you didn’t give Isaia a blowjob?” Monika asked.
Tiana spun around. “Yes! How many times do I hafta say it?”
Monika crossed her arms over her chest. “I still don’t believe that he harassed you.”
Tiana glared at her cousin like the idiot Monika was. “Even after he bashed Levi?”
Monika raised her chin. “He’s polite to me. Levi must’ve said sumpthin’ to upset him and knowing Levi, he would’ve too. Your brother’s got a dirty mouth.”
“Levi’s the one in hospital, not your thug boyfriend.”
“Isaia’s not a thug, Levi’s the horrible one.”
“Only
to you, cos you’re a cow.”
“I’m telling Aunty you said that.”
“Then I’ll tell her you’re goin’ out with the guy who almost killed her son.”
Monika looked worried. “I’ll lie and say you did Ash.”
“It wouldn’t be a lie.”
Monika’s mouth dropped open, making Tiana feel a little buzz that she’d shocked her cousin.
“You didn’t?”
“I did, and I don’t care if you tell anyone, cos my mum already thinks I’ve done it. So now you’ve got nuthin’ on me, but I have loads on you. So. Leave. Me. Alone.” Tiana walked into her room and slammed the door shut, feeling triumphant that she’d finally gotten Monika worked up and not the other way round.
She placed her bag on the bed and pulled out the picture Ash had given her. She looked around her room, wondering where she could hide it. Her mother put clothes away in her drawers, vacuumed under the bed, and hung things in the wardrobe… The wardrobe!
She dragged the desk chair over to the wardrobe and climbed onto it. She pushed open the panel in the ceiling and slipped the rolled up picture through as the phone rang. She jumped down, opened the door, then ran into the lounge. Monika was watching the music channel and ignoring the ringing.
Tiana entered the kitchen and swiped the phone off the hook. “Hello.”
“Mrs. Lilu, I’m a teacher from your daughter’s school,” the male voice rushed out. “She left during lunchtime to go home with a boy, and missed her maths class.”
Tiana opened her mouth then closed it, her heart pounding like the music from the telly.
“Mrs. Lilu, are you there?”
Tiana frowned. That voice sounded weird. “What’s your name?”
“Um … Mr. Clearing, the head of wagging.”
“I’ve never heard of a Mr. Clearing and there’s no such thing as a wagging department. And a teacher wouldn’t use that word. It’s truancy.”
“Tiana?”
“Is that you, Ash? Cos the voice you’re putting on sounds so funny.”
“No, this is Mr. Clearing.”
“Joel?”
The phone went dead. She shook her head, wondering what on earth that was about. She keyed in Lavinia’s number. A male voice answered.
“It was you,” she said. “Are ya tryna get me into trouble?”
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