Several feet in front of him a myna bird walked across the road, barely missing the tyres of a car. He’d always thought those birds were suicidal, one feather away from death. He emerged onto Claydon’s main road and watched as cars filed past, wondering what it would be like to tempt the traffic like the bird had. Before he could change his mind, he darted across the tarmac. Horns blasted and tyres screeched, but he continued until he’d reached the opposite side. He jumped up onto the kerb and laughed, a rush filling his body like a shot of cocaine on a sunny day.
Yelling came from behind him. He didn’t look back, but instead ran into a side street, then bent over and threw up what little he had in his stomach, the feeling bringing him down from the high. He wiped his mouth on a sleeve then continued into Wera, his suburb only slightly nicer than Claydon.
He headed past a dairy with its flowers and newspaper advertisements. The shop’s bell made him glance back. Two hoodies walked out with pies, the smell of mince making his gut clench. He turned right onto Joel’s road and crossed over, aiming for his mate’s home. Grateful there were no cars on the property, he cut through the carport and leapt over the back fence. He ran down the neighbour’s driveway and turned left, his nerves steadily increasing as he drew closer to his house. At this time of day, his mother would be at work and Chaz home. He stopped at the sight of Chaz’s white van parked behind his mother’s red civic.
It doesn’t mean she’s not at work. It could be broken down.
Look at the police tape. She’s dead.
Shut up!
He ripped down the tape, pushed open the gate and willed himself to the front door. His hand hovered over the handle. Hunter claimed Chaz was in prison, but like everything else Ash couldn’t bring himself to believe it.
He’s in prison whether you admit it or not.
Ash turned the door handle, but it was locked. He headed around the back, the absence of clothing on the line unusual. There was always something hanging there, especially at this time of day. He retrieved the key hidden amongst the rocks framing the daffodils and opened the backdoor. It was stuffy and quiet inside. He entered the passage and poked his head into his mother’s and Chaz’s room. The bed was made, everything in its place. His fear grew as he moved to his room. He hesitated, both wanting and not wanting to enter.
What was he scared of? No one was home and it was his room.
He stepped inside. His mattress was bare, the All Blacks duvet, sheets and pillow all gone. Ash stared at the bed for a moment, unable to push away the image of Chaz on top of him. But, he hadn’t seen that in his dreams, had only seen Chaz fighting his mother. His eyes shifted to where the fight had been: the space in between the cabinet and bed.
His mother had slashed a knife down his stepfather’s face, ripping a scream from Chaz, then had lunged again. Chaz grabbed the knife, turning it on his mother…
Ash’s gaze dropped to the carpet where his mother had collapsed, the blood stain making him stagger back. He bent over and vomited, coughing as it stung his throat. He backed out the door, turned into his mother’s room and climbed onto the bed, curling up as he began to shake uncontrollably.
He didn’t know how long he’d been lying there for, but the sound of a car caught his attention. He peeked through the slit in the navy-blue curtains. Hunter’s Chevy was parked on the road. Ash quickly crawled under the bed, remembering too late that he’d left the backdoor open.
Hunter’s voice soon filled the house. “Ash, you here?”
Ash watched from under the bed as Hunter walked down the passage.
“Where are you?” Hunter called out.
Ash closed his eyes, hoping Hunter wouldn’t find him.
The footsteps came closer, then stopped. “Christ, Ash, come out from under there.”
Ash opened his eyes. His cousin was peering under the bed at him. Hunter wiped Ash’s face with a hand. “You shouldn’t have come here alone.”
“I needed to see her,” Ash choked out.
“I know.” Hunter tugged on Ash’s arms. “C’mere.”
Ash crawled out.
Hunter pulled him into a bear hug. “I just wanted to protect you.”
Like my mother. Ash buried his face into Hunter’s shoulder. And she’s dead because of it … because of me.
31
Tiana
“Right … start from Act Five, Scene Two,” the English teacher shouted a few rows back from the stage.
Reciting Othello’s part, Llewellyn Jones walked towards Tiana, who was lying on a bed, pretending to sleep.
Llewellyn’s voice went higher as though he was beseeching God for forgiveness:
“Yet I’ll not shed her blood,
Nor scar that white skin of hers than snow
And smooth as monumental alabaster.”
Tiana grimaced at the mention of white skin. When Llewellyn and herself had been picked for the parts of Othello and Desdemona she’d thought the English teacher was going against the tradition of the Moor being dark and Desdemona being pale. After all, Llewellyn was lily-white with freckles and ginger hair. But no, Mr. Ogilvy had told her today that she was expected to powder her face, like a ridiculous caricature of a mime, while Llewellyn had to darken his, which Tiana thought was in poor taste.
Llewellyn climbed onto the bed. As he leaned towards her, Tiana closed her eyes and imagined he was Ash.
Llewellyn kissed her. “I will kill thee and love thee after. And that’s the loss.” He kissed her again, his lips making her think of a girl’s. Not that she would know, yuck! Still, it was awkward, strange, and she was sure she tasted Cherry ChapStick. Yeah, definitely strange, and nothing like Ash’s. The memory of Ash kissing her below made her smile.
“Tiana, say your part,” Llewellyn said.
She opened her eyes, surprised to find Llewellyn a few steps away from the bed. The meaning of his words finally sunk in. Oh crap, her lines! She stuttered through the first one, then sat up like she’d just awoken and asked him to come to bed. They both continued the scene, Tiana almost tripping over the words, “Talk you of killing…”
Killing—something that was fine in a Shakespeare play, but not in her reality. The news about Ash’s mother’s death was still the talk of the school, but the rumour mill was going even crazier over what had happened to Ash, because nobody knew. Was he stabbed or beaten or sick like his family claimed? She still didn’t know, her questioning of Ash’s grandmother unsuccessful.
“Tiana,” the English teacher said. “Are you alright?”
Tiana snapped out of her thoughts. “Sorry, Mr. Ogilvy, I was thinking ‘bout Ash again.”
The slim man, dressed in casual jeans and a plaid shirt, stood up from his seat. “I understand. How about we call it a day?”
“Thank you.” She got off the bed and removed her costume, a gown that had been worn over her white blouse and black skirt. It needed taking in, because whoever had previously played Desdemona must’ve been a large girl.
She put the costume away in the changing room, pulled on her red jumper, then grabbed her bag and headed down the stairs. She stopped at the bottom, annoyed to see Jenna sitting at the back of the theatre. Since Ash had been attacked, she couldn’t get rid of the girl, no matter how many times she’d told Jenna to ‘Leave me alone,’ ‘Go away,’ and ‘Stop following me!’ The girl was like a piece of chewing gum that she couldn’t get out of her hair.
Tiana walked up the aisle, trying to pretend that Jenna wasn’t there.
Jenna moved out from her seat, and blocked the exit. “You got anything planned for the next coupla hours?”
“Yup, bein’ away from you,” Tiana said, trying to get around Jenna.
Jenna mirrored her steps. “Oh, c’mon, I waited ages for you, and it was torture listening to all that Shakespeare crud.”
“I didn’t ask you to! And Shakespeare’s not crud.”
“Whoopty-do, I don’t give a shit. I waited, so you could at least hear me out. I thought we could gan
g up on Hunter, and force him to let us see Ash.”
“I’ve gotta go straight home,” Tiana lied. Since her father had left, her mother hadn’t been picking her up, feeling too sorry for herself to pay attention to Tiana.
“What a load of bull. I know you’ve been goin’ to Hunter’s house—and failing miserably. And I don’t appreciate you lying to me either.”
Tiana’s eyes widened. “You’ve been following me?”
“Get over yourself, I ain’t a stalker. Ash’s grandma told me. And by the way, she doesn’t like you, thinks you’re insensitive and pushy.” Jenna smiled. “Unlike me. And cos she likes me so much she told me something new.”
“What?”
“That Ash is bein’ let out of hospital today.”
“Really?” Tiana said, excitedly.
“Yup, so listen up. Ash’s grandparents have gone back to Dargaville, which means there’s only Hunter to get past now. If he’s home, I want you to distract him out front while I slip round the back. He thinks I’m a bitch, so the bastard won’t lemme through.”
You are a bitch. “What if the back’s locked?”
“I can pick a lock, been practicing it.”
“That’s illegal.”
“Not like a drug-dealer will dob me into the cops.” Jenna laughed. “That was actually funny.”
Shocked, Tiana stared at her. “Hunter’s a drug-dealer?”
Jenna pulled a face. “You’re kidding me? How can you not know that?”
“Ash never told me, so how would I? And, he’s pro’bly too ashamed to admit his cousin is doin’ sumpthin’ so horrible.”
“You’re hilarious, Ash isn’t ashamed of Hunter, he loves that guy like a father, and when I went with him he smoked weed in front of me, but I guess Ash doesn’t trust or care enough to tell you.”
Tiana wanted to punch Jenna’s smirk up through her nose, but instead lifted her chin, hoping like crazy that Ash’s hadn’t told Jenna that he loved her too. “Ash cares plenty ‘bout me. He said he loves me.”
Jenna’s smirk dropped. “You’re lying.”
A wide smile split Tiana’s features. She wanted to jump up and down, and say, ‘In your face, Jenna!’ but instead remained still, revelling in the jealousy colouring her rival’s complexion. “Nope, he told me last week,” she finally said.
Jenna stuck her chin up, mirroring Tiana. “He said he loved me too.”
Tiana knew it was a lie, because Jenna couldn’t act to save herself. “Okay, then let’s go see him.”
Jenna pushed open the door. “Then we better make it quick, cos I hafta get home before my parents. I’m grounded.”
Tiana followed Jenna through the door and across the English quad. With the exception of the students who’d stayed behind for drama, the school was pretty dead.
“Why’re you grounded?” Tiana asked, now feeling happier.
“I swiped my dad’s ciggie money. And he should thank, not punish me, cos that shit makes him cough like crazy.”
“I’m s’posed to be grounded too, but my mum’s a bit distracted at the moment.”
Jenna sniggered. “No needa tell me why you’re grounded.”
Tiana smiled. “Ash was worth it.”
Jenna’s face darkened, but she kept quiet.
They made their way to the bus stop, caught the next one to Claydon and got off at the main road. After several minutes of walking, they reached Hunter’s place. Crossing her heart and praying for some luck, Tiana knocked on the front door as Jenna disappeared around the corner. Swearing came from inside the house, then the foul-mouthed orator opened the door. Hunter was dressed in jeans and a blue button-down shirt, nothing like she’d imagined a drug-dealer to wear. No leather, no patches, just a clean-cut guy… well, except for the beard.
“Shit, what’s with you religious types?” he snapped. “You never go away, just keep knocking on my bloody door.”
Feeling scared, Tiana breathed out. For once she wished that Jenna was standing next to her, because she was talking to a drug-dealer! “I wanna see Ash.”
“He’s still not well, so go away!”
“Please, I’m his girlfriend; I should be able to see him.”
“If he wanted to see you he would’ve phoned, so trot along home like a good li’l Mormon to Mummy and Daddy.”
“I’m Catholic.”
“Same diff.”
“No, they’re not.”
“What do I care?”
He closed the door on her face, making Tiana yell out in frustration. She clomped down the steps and around the side of the house, where Jenna was waiting with her back against the wall.
“I couldn’t get the door unlocked.” Jenna pointed to the far end of the house. “We can knock on that window? Could be Ash’s room.”
Tiana ran past the curtained sliding door and what looked like the bathroom with its I-can’t-see-through-glass. She stopped outside the end window and tapped on it, feeling like she was doing something wrong. When no one answered, she tapped again, afraid that Hunter would find out. She smiled as the curtains drew back to reveal Ash’s face. He opened the window, his features sleepy and his eyes red.
Jenna moved forward. “Hunter won’t let us see you. Can ya let us in?”
He nodded and closed the window. Jenna shot round to the back door with Tiana following. A few seconds later Ash opened the sliding door.
As they entered, Hunter walked out of the passage. “I told ja to go away,” he said, looking angry.
“It’s alright, I should talk to them.” Ash walked past his cousin.
Jenna ran after Ash, eliciting a bigger scowl from Hunter. Tiana was sure Jenna would’ve pulled a face at him. Tiana tried to pretend she wasn’t scared of Hunter as she followed Ash and Jenna into the end room.
Ash sat on his bed. “How’re you?”
Tiana closed the door behind her, shutting out Hunter. She knew the question was directed at her, Ash’s stare intense, but Jenna piped up before she could get a word out.
“I’m okay,” Jenna said. “Sorry ‘bout your—”
Ash cut her off. “Don’t say anything ‘bout my mum or what happened.”
Jenna nodded. “Sure. When are ya coming back to school?”
“Dunno and don’t care.”
His attitude disturbed Tiana. She knew he needed time off, but he couldn’t miss too much of Year Eleven so close to assessment. “The holidays are in a coupla weeks,” she said. “You could come back after that.”
Ash shook his head. “I’ll pro’bly drop out.”
“You can’t do that,” Tiana blurted. “If you leave you won’t be able to get a good job and what about university? You hafta go to Year Thirteen.”
“Stuff university, there’s no way I’m goin’ there. I’ll pro’bly just help Hunter in his business.”
“No, Ash,” Jenna interrupted. “That’s not a good option, babe.”
“I’m not your babe.” His gaze moved to Tiana. “I’m no one’s babe.”
Tiana felt like disappearing at that point. Was Levi right about Ash not wanting her anymore? No, he’s just upset over his mum.
“You finished asking questions?” he said. “Cos it’s gonna get dark soon.”
“It’s okay, I can stay a bit longer,” Tiana said.
“No, you should go.” Ash pushed off the bed and opened the door.
Jenna stepped in front of him. “I’ll visit you tomorrow.”
“I’m busy.”
“Okay, I’ll catcha later.” Jenna reached out to touch Ash. He jumped back as though he’d been electrocuted. Jenna appeared shocked for a few seconds, then she smiled, the expression not reaching her eyes. “Take care,” she said.
Tiana watched as Jenna disappeared down the passage. She knew she should take off too, Ash’s behaviour promising nothing good, but she couldn’t make herself go.
“You better leave too,” Ash said.
“I’d rather stay with you… I love you.”
“
People who say that hurt me.”
She reached out a hand, upset as he jerked away. It was one thing for him to do it to Jenna, but not her. “I wouldn’t hurt you.”
“I know; I just don’t want cha touching me.”
“But we… Why?”
“I don’t hafta have a reason.”
She breathed out, not knowing how to handle his anger. “Then I’ll come back tomorrow. Say, eleven in the morning?”
“I’m busy.”
“Then pick a time.”
“I’m busy all weekend.”
“Monday at four?”
“Busy.”
She willed herself not to cry. He didn’t love her, his feelings towards her fleeting like their time together. And if he wasn’t returning to school, then she probably wouldn’t see him except maybe around Claydon in passing.
“Then, I’ll come when you’re not busy,” she said.
“Maybe you shouldn’t come at all.”
“Why?” she cried.
“I don’t wanna see anyone.”
Was he breaking up with her? “But, I wanna be with you.”
His face hardened. “I told ja, I don’t wanna see anyone.”
“We don’t hafta go anywhere, we can just stay here and talk.”
“You’re not listening to me—”
“Yes, I am. Just tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do anything for you, I love you so much.”
“You already said that,” he said harshly.
“That’s cos it’s true.”
“I’m different now, you shouldn’t love me.”
She went to touch his arm. He smacked her hand away, his eyes panicked.
“Ash!”
“Please, just leave.”
“Only if I can visit you tomorrow.”
“No.”
“Yes!”
He dropped his gaze. “We should break up.”
“No! You said you loved me.”
“Loving someone doesn’t mean you should be with them.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“Yes, it does. Please go.”
Graffiti Heaven Page 18
