by Dan Glover
"No, not at all."
"Well, it's just a thought. Probably not important. We're planning a trip to Santo Tomas, Ms. Stamper. Is there any chance you could accompany us?"
3
Oh Christ no... not back to that place again, not back to that shit hole. Santo Tomas. After years of near abstinence lately the nightmares had come ripping back, tearing at her psyche... of walking up one beach and down another, calling out for Eduardo... seeing a boy who resembled him from a distance but upon getting closer realizing her mistake. On she went as the frothy salty water roiled around her ankles the sea mist tingling her lips as she wetted them with her tongue and the quick-like sand bubbling up beneath her feet threatening to pull her under.
Far out to sea she could see the tide coming in... only like nothing she'd ever witnessed before. The waves mounted one after another higher and higher until they obliterated the blue of the sky with their own livid green. Somewhere in the distance a church bell tolled: bing-a, bing-a, bing-a... as if someone was pulling on the rope and letting go, pulling and letting go, pulling and letting go. No. They were being yanked up off the ground by the weight of the bell. She could see it in her mind's eye.
It had to be Eduardo. That old Catholic church... sure... why hadn’t she thought of that before? It was the one place she never looked. They went to mass every Easter and to the midnight service on Christmas Eve but otherwise mother was too busy working to go and there was something just a little off about the good Father Fletch and it made her uneasy taking Eduardo by herself... something Elena couldn’t quite articulate to anyone.
"Tell me when you're planning your trip, Ms. McNairy, and I'll see if I can take some of my vacation time I've saved up."
She recalled how in the days after Eduardo's disappearance the Federales came riding into the tiny village setting up roadblocks and searching every house with or without permission of the occupants... all of them dressed in black and carrying high power weaponry as if they expected a siege. The convoy of military-style Humvees stretched for blocks. She recalled thinking: all this over the disappearance of one little boy?
Father Fletch... that old fucking letch. Was he still ministering to the poor, the sexually depraved, and the shamelessly downtrodden of Santo Tomas? Funny... she hadn’t thought about that asshole in years. He was coated in Teflon. Yep. The man seemed to have connections reaching up into the highest parts of government... men who protected him. The Pope back in Rome doubtlessly granted the fucker some sort of Holy Dispensation to do as he liked.
She remembered vividly how the Federales searched everywhere... busting down doors, rounding up all the males of Santo Tomas, interrogating them for days... all but for Father Fletch inside that old church. The man and his temple seemed somehow sacrosanct the way they avoided the grounds. No other place was exempt, no one else above and beyond suspicion.
Now, she wondered just what had really been going on in Santo Tomas during those long ago days. Alexandria Cervantes... what a pretty little girl... had she been part of the reason the Federales appeared in Santo Tomas? Or had lots of other children been vanishing as well? She seemed to remember hearing rumors—no more than whispers—but what with the way Eduardo weighed on her mind she paid the gossip no attention at the time.
The Father might well be someone to take up with McNairy and Forthright. Or perhaps they'd do their homework and discover some things for themselves about fat Father Fletch. Jesus, as much money as she was paying them they ought to be enlightening her and not the other way around. She could do a lot with thirty thousand dollars... but on the other hand, to be able to sleep again was a treasure beyond measure, and lately that commodity was slow in coming and rarely did her slumbers last the night.
Chapter 11—Lost
(And Alone)
1
She felt so awkward being alone with Reilly Cooper. Oh, it wasn’t him. She'd always had a bit of social anxiety. Mother used to go on about how she was shy. But that wasn’t the right word. Liza didn’t have a problem speaking her mind, not even in public. No, it was these sorts of situations... the one on ones, especially where the other person waited for her to carry the conversation, as if she knew what the hell to say to a thirty year old black guy from East Los Angeles who happened to also be gay as a fucking window.
Ducking into the shitter to dust her nose didn’t help matters. She'd gotten sidetracked, as per usual. Before she realized it, a good half hour had gone by. But no worries. Bonnie had things covered. The waitress was one of the few people Liza knew who also liked to fix up every so often... like the customary three or four times a day... maybe five if time allowed. Nothing wrong with that.
You never knew. Hell, she had no idea Bonnie had a monkey crawling up her back... not until one day when she came into Presario's to pick up some bagels and pastry to bring back to the office and the poor girl was under the weather. Her first inclination was to turn and walk out. She certainly didn’t need to get sick. Bonnie seemed to read her mind.
"Don't worry, Liza... it's not contagious, what I have..."
"Allergies, Bonnie?"
"You could say that... but it had more to do with... well... I better not say."
It was the look Bonnie gave her... the guarded eyes, the furtive glance up and then back down again. Sideways. Always that danger a fellow employee might be within hearing. Somehow Liza knew exactly what was bothering Bonnie. For half a second, she thought about offering the girl some of what she was carrying, but what if she was wrong? That was a good way to get yourself arrested, sure enough. And the last thing Liza needed was to have to call Danners to have him go her bail.
It was strange, how this thing worked. She'd seen her own reflection in the mirror enough times that she'd grown familiar with all the symptoms... the runny nose, the twitching, and especially the eye movements... forever darting about in search of that name brand... that one thing that would make it all stop, and how she was always so sure she'd never find any of her precious candy again.
While Bonnie retrieved her call-in order, Liza surreptitiously dipped into her purse, palmed one of those little packets she always had on hand—just for emergencies—and waited. Should she or shouldn’t she? If Bonnie wasn’t familiar with the game, she wouldn’t even know what Liza was about. But if she was...
Liza set the folded white paper on the counter with her hand over it, obscuring all but a small corner... enough that if Bonnie didn’t recognize what was being offered, she could easily slip it back into her purse. Liza watched as Bonnie came over with her coffee and a bag of bagels, set it in front of her, and then spotted the packet.
Her expression went from bedraggled to surprised to pleased all in an instant. The melancholia heretofore pulling down the edges of her mouth and dulled the light in her eyes changed into euphoria. Oh, Bonnie knew.
"Girlfriend! Thank you! What do I owe you?"
"Nothing, darling... not a damned thing."
Those small kindnesses made her heart glad. Paying it forward. Or backwards. Hell, sideways even. If that's what you could call it. What the hell did she know, anyway. Liza recalled her own hard times... before she made the big top called Los Angeles... back in Belltown, that cesspool in the heart of Seattle where she'd learned to trick and treat, to take from the rich and give to the poor... namely, herself. And of course Allison Johns, her mentor and friend and fellow user and abuser. Key word: abused. They all had that in common, she supposed. The need to forget. If only for a sec.
Now,
2
After chipping a bit and taking a short siesta, Liza was once more ready to enter the fray, to slay the beast, to dilly with the dally and what's more, with delight. The man was looking at her strangely. Did he know? The fuck with Reilly Cooper and what he thought. FBI agent or not, what the hell was he going to do, arrest her?
"So, Reilly... we're leaving for Santo Tomas the day after tomorrow. Can we rely on you?"
"In what way, Liza?"
"We'll be limi
ted so far as our access to resources goes... we'd appreciate it if you'd lend us some of that expertise of yours, just in case we run up against it down there."
"Whatever I can do, Liza... whatever I can do. You know that. If you don’t mind, though, let's keep it between you and me. I'd rather not lead Danners on."
"What was that all about anyway? I could never see the two of you together, Reilly."
"I guess Danners sort of caught me on the rebound. I'd just gotten out of one of the longest relationships of my life and your partner was there for me. We were hot and heavy there for a while but later I wised up. I realized what a mistake I was making. Not to talk the man down, mind you."
She nodded, and in more ways than one. Of course a man of Reilly Cooper's stature couldn’t be bothered with kowtowing to an old queer like Danners Forthright, or rather giving the impression that he was. But she remembered... DanMan had felt sorry for Cooper... the man had an enormous heart and once someone figured that out, they invariably took advantage of him, playing those sweet sad strings for all it was worth.
Jesus... why'd Cooper think he had to lie to her? Danners had filled her in on all the details of that sordid little relationship, if you could even call it that. Reilly must know how they talked. Or did he? Perhaps he didn’t realize just how deeply in love she was with Danners Forthright and he with her. But then again how could he? Hell, she hid most of those feelings—especially the deepest part of them—even from herself.
It was only at times like these that they began to surface, like newly born dolphins tentatively coming up for their first breath of air... during the moments after, when everything was right in the world and nothing no matter how horrible could penetrate that shield afforded her by the candy she sucked up so religiously.
Fear not, Reilly Cooper. I'll be your one and only... contact, that is. Don’t even be getting any of those silly notions that this chick is remotely interested in turning your gay ass. I know what you're thinking... me and Danners will never be more than what we are right now. And you might well be right. But I'm not looking for anything other than that.
So strange how it worked... these love affairs. Blossoming from nothing and going right back to the dust. Tell me how anyone could be married for fifty years and not absolutely hate their partner. The ultimate masquerade ball... marriage, fidelity, and all that talk about commitment and monogamy. Maybe Lyle Lovett said it best... perhaps I'm the fool you take me for, and not anything more.
"We'd better be getting back, Liza. I have an appointment down in Glendale this afternoon."
"Yeah... and Danners is probably wondering what happened to us."
"Hell, Liza... one of these days we ought to give him a reason."
A reason? Oh... you're thinking he might be jealous. Oh, if only I could talk to you like I do to him, Reilly. Danners knows just how my heart beats. Now if only I could figure it out too, we'd be all set.
Chapter 12—Sally and Sammy Nobody
(And Suzy Somebody)
1
Why the hell couldn’t law enforcement agencies cooperate more fully with one another? Weren't they all charged with seeking out the truth, of separating the innocent from the guilty? Of course not... only an idiot would think so. He'd borne the brunt of that same failure during his so-called fair trials in front of three different juries made up of his peers as well as for the ten years he'd spent incarcerated on death row in one of the most notorious prisons in America.
Ah yes... the joys of abiding within the Security Housing Unit at Pelican Bay Prison ranked right up there with having one's toenails forcibly extracted with pliers. But then again, Danners had things better than most prisoners residing there. He'd spent a lifetime growing used to living in isolation. Hell, to spend twenty two and a half hours a day locked inside a windowless concrete cell seemed almost positively pleasant compared to those foster homes he'd been ushered through after mother had abandoned him to the whims of the good State of California.
He never saw any of the other prisoners at Pelican Bay but he heard them wailing out in the night from all about his cell... appeals to all the gods they worshipped, shouts to other inmates, pleas to the guards, paying homage to families and friends long gone. In all but a few cases, there were no replies to their prayers. We spend a lifetime existing in hell, Danners, and then we die. There are no happily ever afters, not here, not anywhere. You know it and I know it.
After just reading the first few pages of the voluminous file Reilly Cooper had left behind, Danners realized there was a helluva lot more going on in Santo Tomas by the sea than simply a little boy disappearing fifteen years ago. In fact, over a period of time ranging from ten years before Eduardo Ramirez vanished until ten years after, no fewer than twenty five other children had been unaccounted for... boys and girls... all of them living within a twelve mile radius of that tiny hamlet.
Some of those children had been Americans... their families staying at the cheaper resorts like the Hotel Victoria Playa and the Apartamentos Hamilton Court, but no one paid too much attention to those kids. No, it wasn’t until a millionaire's daughter vanished from the Hotel Rural Binigaus Vell, an exclusive getaway just outside of Santo Tomas, that the Bureau became involved.
The more he read, the angrier Danners became. No one was overly concerned when Sally and Sammy Nobody disappeared from the hundred dollar a week rooms in the slum resorts dotting the Baja coast but when Suzy Somebody up and vanished from the ten thousand dollar a night suite where her family was staying, well, that got their attention.
"Oh, hi Liza... you're back so soon?"
"Well don’t seem so happy to see me, lover... next time we might just elope... what’cha say, Reilly?"
"Only with you, Liza... only with you."
Looking up from his work, Danners realized two hours had passed since Liza and Reilly had gone for coffee. Jesus... he'd barely scratched the surface of the file. And now Liza was playfully pissed, at least he hoped that's all it was. Him and his penchant for sticking both feet into his mouth at once.
"You know that's not what I meant, Liza. I've just been so engrossed in this file I didn’t realize the time."
And there was Reilly Cooper smiling and dancing about like he'd just been fucked for the first time in his life. Two hours... where had they been for so long? Danners assumed they'd gone to Presario's just down the street. Oh... of course... Liza doubtlessly spent some time in the little girl's room as was her wont.
"Well... sorry to be the bearer
2
"Of bad tidings, Liza dear... spending this time together as been positively delightful. Thank you. But I really must to be grabbing and running now. Gotta be back in Glendale. Hope you enjoyed it too."
"Well?"
"Well what, Liza?"
Cooper had made his usual glorious exit, trying yet not quite succeeding in kissing Liza full on the mouth while alternately ignoring the fact that Danners was even in the same room.
"Did you find anything in that file?"
"As much as I hate to admit it, Cooper was right. There is a lot more going on in Santo Tomas than I realized. I can't help but wonder why Hank Lupo was kept in the dark. His files don’t even come close to matching the Bureau's."
"You're jealous."
"What? No I'm not. Why would you even say that, Liza?"
"I can tell, DanMan. You're thinking me and Cooper went off and had a little rendezvous all our own, aren't you. Maybe we played kissy face all afternoon?"
"Oh... so now you're the mind reader. I see. Well pardon me for caring, Liza McNairy."
He sounded more upset than he would've liked. Even a little whiny. And Jesus, was he blushing? Why'd she have to be so perceptive? Of course that was all part of her allure, but still... yes, I'm jealous. I hate it when you spend time with other men, or women for that matter. I'm a freak like that. Maybe it has something to do with my abandonment issues, or maybe I just love the hell out of you.
"It's okay, DanDan... I like
that about you. You make me feel safe. Nothing is going on between me and Cooper, believe me. I just sort of lost track of time, that's all. You know how I am. Forgive me?"
"Only now, always, and forever, my love. So... want to hear what I found, Liza?"
"Finally... I was starting to think I might have to blow you."
"Hold that thought, sweetie... on to business... our little Eduardo wasn’t the only kid to turn up missing in the area around Santo Tomas. We already know about Alexandria Cervantes, but that file of Coopers lists at least twenty other children who've vanished in that area over that past twenty five years."
"Why didn’t we see anything like that in Hank's files, DanDan?"
"I'm guessing those kids weren’t important enough to warrant consideration. Plus it's Mexico, Liza. What happens there apparently stays there."
"No... that's in Vegas, baby."
"Well, yeah, but it wasn’t until a girl named Tamara Blankenship disappeared that the FBI finally got involved."
"What made her different, DanMan?"
"Her parents were rich. All the other children who vanished
3
"Came from poor families. Remember those twins we wanted to interview, Liza?"
"Don't tell me..."
"Their names are in Reilly's file. They vanished a year after Eduardo. Similar circumstances. No one saw anything, or if they did they didn’t come forward with it."
"Did the Bureau have any suspects?"
"I didn’t get that far, Liza. But I lied, sort of."
"About?"
"You promised Cooper I wouldn’t copy the files."
"So you're saying you've been a bad boy. Is that right, Danners?"
"I guess that depends on how you define bad, lover."
