by Virdi, R. R
“Saved my life?” I yelped, a bit taken a back, “hold on there missy, didn’t you faint back in my home?”
She starred icy daggers at me, I didn’t care I continued on.
“Didn’t you flip out back there in the hotel too?” I added.
The car jerked to a frightening halt as she slammed the brakes, car horns going off behind us.
“What the hell?” I yelped, why did women do things like that?
“I’m sorry there tough guy,” she began sardonically, “I remember saving your ass when you were crippled and pinned down by a…what did you call it? An Elemental? I shot it remember?”
Which was true, she did, but now my pride was on the line. “Yeah you’re a real Annie Oakley,” I quipped. “In case you forgot, it was my idea to throw the fire extinguisher at it and—”
“Which I shot!” she interjected, she sounded a bit defensive but she wasn’t really, I could see a light smile on her face.
“Thank God you didn’t miss,” I began, “what, with your hands trembling and all.”
My left arm suddenly began to throb, not seriously, just for a few moments because she had just punched me lightly. I looked at in mock fury but her gaze was back on the road since she had started driving again. She was looking ahead at nothing a bit too intently, her jaw was clenched, at first it looked like in anger. It took me a moment to realize she was doing it to suppress a massive smile.
“You’re a jerk,” she said, stifling a small laugh.
“Yeah…well you’re…” I began, not quite sure exactly what to say, I was trying to suppress a laugh of my own.
“Careful now,” she said, “don’t hurt yourself over there.”
And that’s pretty much how the ride went; we traded barbs and just teased each other the whole way. It was…nice, it was new, I wasn’t use to this but wow was it a departure from what I was use to. So we drove on like that, laughing, arm punching, well she was punching me, I had enough sense not to punch the driver. About ten minutes or so of nonstop humor filled travel until she finally decided on the place to go eat since I was particularly clueless.
The diner was located in the most miniscule parking lot I had ever seen and that’s saying something in New York. There were spots for maybe about ten cars tops. It would have been insignificant really if it wasn’t for the fact that the diner itself was an actual antiquated subway train car. It was, well interesting. How many diners have you seen that are actually old public transport vehicles?
It was painted a myriad of bright colors that created a gaudy and still somehow homely look. The oval billboard on top was a pearl white with scarlet lettering with mustard yellow outlines that read: Dino’s Dinner. The roof was also bright white that faded into I swear to God, a relish like disgusting green. I think they painted the place using actual condiments but somehow…it worked. The squarish glass windows had lavender paneling around them that sat above a burgundy stripe that ran along the bottom half of the car, which was painted baby blue.
It was the most jarring sight I had ever seen and I’ve seen quite a lot. And yet, I was transfixed by the place, I don’t know why, it just felt…comfortable which was a new sensation for me. I had never allowed myself to get truly comfortable because in my line of work that’s a death sentence. Enjoying the odd overly priced sensual fifty setting massage shower now and again doesn’t count.
I was flabbergasted that she chose this place and it must’ve showed on my face because the very next instant she spoke.
“What?” she said defensively.
“This place?” I asked incredulously, jerking a thumb towards the diner. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.” She replied flatly.
“Why?”
“First of all, they’re open everyday all day throughout the year, even holidays.” She answered.
Had to admit, that was a really good opening point, not that I should’ve been arguing considering I was starving.
“Secondly,” she began, “they serve breakfast, lunch and dinner items at all times of the day.” She said with a bit of a ravenous growl.
“Does…does that matter?” I asked, honestly confused if that was relevant at all. “All I need is just some more coffee and anything edible so I can keep going on the case without crashing and burning.” I added.
She looked at me as if I were hopeless, “come on,” she said, stepping out of the car.
I popped out of my side and followed her in through the doors, which actually opened by sliding horizontally like they did on subways.
The place was empty and thankfully so, I didn’t want to see it full, there was hardly any room in here, there never is on a subway car is there. Most of the room was taken up by the faded cream colored counter that bore a dizzying array of bottles, containers and what not that undoubtedly held all manner of kitchen condiments and supplies. In front of the counter was a straight line of the typical burgundy round vinyl topped steel stools to sit on. Behind the counter and stretching from one end to the other were a series of surprisingly clean and gleaming cooking appliances, stoves, grills and griddles and the like.
“Nice to know they keep the place clean,” I muttered below my breath, a comment that earned me sharp elbow in the ribs, courtesy of Agent Ortiz.
“Just sit down and shut up,” she said in a lighthearted tone.
We both plopped down on stools right beside each other; she leaned forwards and rested her arms on the counter while I continued to look around. The floor was a shocking checkered pattern of cotton candy blue and pink colors. Along the wall where we entered from were a few small circular tables with heavy padded purple and white-stripped diner seats on either side.
When the hell did I step out of the supernatural world and into a cartoon? I wondered.
“I thought the same thing too,” Agent Ortiz said.
“Huh?”
“Something out of a cartoon right?” she continued.
“Uh yeah…how’d you know?” I asked surprised.
“Everyone thinks the same thing when the come in here,” she snorted.
“What’ll it be Camilla,” asked a booming and boisterous voice that nearly caused me to leap back from the counter. Nearly, I am after all a seasoned professional paranormal detective and nothing scares me whatsoever.
I just got surprised is all; the guy literally came out of nowhere so quietly, which is saying something considering that he was a whole helluva lot of guy. His face had, well; let’s say a generous amount of mass. Laugh lines around his nose, eyes and his heavy full cheeks gave him a jolly look. He had bright almost amber colored eyes that radiated a kind-nurturing look. A salt and pepper raggedy head of thinning hair sat atop his thick solid head, scanty almost wispy like eyebrows hung above his gleaming eyes.
He stood there with a big frog like smile that played across his massive face, his thick heavy meaty hands clasped atop his enormous belly. This guy made Santa Claus look small, short beefy muscular arms and a squat like figure made his physique look large and intimidating. But like I said before, the man’s face shone with kindness, a fatherly manner hung around him.
“I’ll have a Scrooge,” she said with such familiarity towards the man, guess they knew each other pretty well.
He didn’t bother asking me what I wanted but instead turned around and fired up a bunch of burners and hobbled off to a back room.
“Uh…what’s a Scrooge,” I asked?
She ignored my question and instead asked one of her own, “so what are you getting?”
I took a look around and snorted, “whatever doesn’t send me to the coroner’s.”
“Wrong place,” she replied with a smirk as she slid me a small folded menu.
I nodded a thanks as I swept it up and began flipping through it, finally deciding on a piece of pumpkin pie and a chocolate coffee infused milkshake, killing two birds with one stone.
The mountain of a man returned a few seconds later carrying a mass of food items that he quickly b
egan placing on and in different skillets, pans and what not.
“Uh…” I began.
“Rich,” whispered Agent Ortiz.
“Rich,” I said, he grunted, indicating I guess that he heard me. “Can I get the chocolate coffee thing and a piece of pumpkin pie?” I said more as a question, he was a big guy, I didn’t want to make it sound like an order…even though it was a diner, like I said, really big guy.
He gave another affirmative grunt.
Just moments ago he was smiling and cheerily greeting Camilla, being on first name basis with her, but me, I got grunts? I leaned over to whisper to Ortiz, “he not like me or something?”
“Oh don’t mind him,” she whispered back, “he’s like that ‘till you get to know him.”
“And,” chimed Rich, who had apparently overheard the whole thing, “I’m really protective of her.” He said, jabbing a meaty index finger towards Agent Ortiz.
I threw my hands up defensively, “hey man!” I exclaimed, “I just met her!”
“Relax Rich,” she said calmly. “We’re just working together, nothing more,” she said, successfully calming Rich down.
“So…? That mean I’m getting my shake and pie or…?” I said hesitantly. My answer was what I took to be an affirmative grunt.
Ortiz leaned over and whispered again, “sorry about him, I’ve been coming here ever since I was a small girl, known Rich forever, he’s like a father to me.”
I mouthed a silent “ah.”
“So,” she said nonchalantly, “we going to talk now?”
I cast a nervous glance over to Rich, who was currently busying himself with making whatever culinary concoctions Ortiz had ordered. He may have seemed busy but clearly his hearing was sharp and his attention was somewhat focused on me.
Ortiz caught my little glance and said, “don’t worry, he’s done listening in, you were just a new curiosity. Once he’s cooking, he’s only cooking and that’s all.”
I rolled my shoulders and shrugged, “shoot,” I said, I didn’t exactly want to start the conversation; I felt it better if she asked and I answered.
“Well…” she began slowly, wondering probably from where to start, “we already established that you don’t remember you’re real name.”
I nodded a silent agreement.
“And you’ve told me that you don’t remember that how long you’ve been doing this either,” she said with a hint of disbelief in her voice.
Again I nodded in silence.
She chewed on her bottom lip for a few moments in silence, her gaze wandering off of me and to our surroundings as she thought. “Okay,” she said more to herself than me, “how about we start with how you’re fine after falling out of a burning building?”
“I…” I started a bit hesitantly, “I’m not exactly normal in the physiology department.”
“Yeah, I figured that part out strangely enough,” she said with a grim laugh. “I want to know is why or how?”
“Honestly?” I said.
“Honestly.” She replied.
“I really don’t know, chalk it up to a beneficial side effect of doing what I do.” I said, it wasn’t completely a lie; I mean I knew why I healed but not the details of it really. I just knew that healed because my superiors, whoever they may be, wanted me to be able to put my body through its paces during my work.
Her eyes narrowed as if searching to see whether or not I was telling the truth or not. Like I said before, there was something a bit off about her, she had so far demonstrated an uncanny ability to separate fact from fiction. After a few moments she spoke, “okay, good enough for me, atleast for now.”
I let out an inner sigh of relief at that.
“Do you know how far you can push yourself?” she asked.
I shook my head indicating I did not, “nope,” I said. “I honestly don’t know exactly how far, just that it is considerably farther than a normal person.”
“So what? Working around the this supernatural crap has rubbed off on your or something?” she said in a confused tone.
“Something like that,” I said vaguely.
“That’s not an answer,” she said with a bit of a growl.
“It’s all I can give, sorry.” I said apologetically.
That seemed to placate her a bit, “fine, moving on,” she said.
I gave a flourish like roll of my hand, indicating for her to continue.
“Do you always work alone?”
I thought carefully before answering that one, I didn’t want to reveal the existence of Church to her but it was obvious she could tell when I was lying. I pondered for the best way to phrase it, “yes I do,” I said. “I don’t really ever have much to go on,” that much was true though, Church wasn’t exactly a talkative or informative fellow.
Her eyes narrowed once again, I had an inkling that she knew I wasn’t being completely honest with her. I felt guilty and it was strange, I had lied to officers, law enforcement and federal agents and what not before but she was different. I had shared a foxhole with Ortiz here, she had risked her life for me even with my having had lied to her. What’s worse is that she knew I had been lying to her and she still risked her neck to save mine, I really did wish I could come clean but I just couldn’t, not yet.
If she was angry with me for giving her some clever word play, she didn’t show it and moved on. “So…” she began slowly, her voice softening as she spoke, “have you had to deal with people dying before?” she asked.
I looked away from her, from the counter, from everything really, I just shut my eyes tight and thought, or tried to really. I didn’t know what to think, what to say, I had always been so detached in my work, never allowing myself to get to involved. When I worked, I worked, that’s it, it was a mission, clear and cut. My job was to use a body, track down whatever creature was doing harm, kill it and move on, rinse and repeat. I have never been involved enough to know if innocents were being harmed on the sidelines. The only victims I knew of were the ones that whatever the responsible creature had already killed, such as the victim whose body I was inhabiting.
Ortiz instantly regretted asking the question after seeing the effect it had on me, quickly apologizing. She reached out and grabbed my shoulder, giving it a comforting and reassuring squeeze.
We sat there for what seemed like forever and all in complete silence, well it would’ve been silence if you ignored the sounds of Rich’s hustling and bustling around.
“Anything else?” I asked a bit too gruffly after I had felt that enough quiet time had passed, I wanted to get this show back on the road.
“Yeah,” she said as she rose from her seat and began walking towards the exit, leaving me baffled. She walked right out the door and towards her car, returning moments later with both of my journals, as well as the binder of info Gnosis had given me. “You still never gave me a complete answer as to where you got this from,” she said, waving Gnosis’ collection of information in my face.
“It’s uh, well, it’s complicated,” I sort of not really answered.
“Try me,” she said firmly.
Just then with some of the best timing I had ever witnessed in my many lives, Rich came back and plunked down a plate containing Ortiz’s, um, meal? I say it like that because I’m not exactly sure what it was, all I know is that Rich’s decision to come at that very moment spared me having to tell another lie.
So thank you, you disgruntled massive man.
“Enjoy it Camilla,” he said in his basso booming voice as he placed a large clear glass filled with a sparkling fizzy golden drink.
“Oh I plan on it Rich,” she said with a hungry smile as she pulled the plate closer to her.
Rich gave me one look, snuffed and walked back into the back room. Guess my food wasn’t quite ready yet; it probably wasn’t a priority to him. I looked back at Agent Ortiz’s whatever it was she was eating, curiosity coupled with the desire to derail the conversation a bit got the best of me. “Uh…the hell are you e
ating?” I asked.
She lifted the large sesame covered bun and revealed the burger’s, and I use that word lightly, inner workings so to speak. Underneath the bun was I swear to God, a miniature pancake coated in thick gelatinous golden brown syrup.
“Is that…a pancake?” I asked incredulously.
“No, it’s Rich’s pancake,” she said in a tone that made is seem that because it was Rich’s pancake made all the difference in the world. Must’ve been one helluva pancake but still it was just wrong, an opinion I gave voice to.
“A pancake inside a burger? Sacrilege!” I hissed in mock outrage.
She ignored me and continued peeling away at the concoction, revealing that the layer beneath the pancake housed many thick strips of syrup coated bacon. Beneath them was the meat of the burger, a thin breast of fried chicken and around it, was a cluster of scrambled eggs with what looked to be boiled potato chunks. The entire whatever the hell this thing was ended the same way it started, another pancake followed by a burger bun.
I looked at it and then her slender frame, I was absolutely stupefied, like hell she was going to eat all of that.
Seconds later she decided to prove my assertion wrong, a fork and knife seemed to materialize out of nowhere and she dug in with an animalistic manner.
“Uh…should I leave you and your monstrosity of a burger alone?” I joked.
She replied with a low growl.
I shut up.
After a few moments of her devouring her breakfast, lunch and dinner combination burger, she reached over to take a sip of her golden fizzy drink. She released a relaxing sigh after taking a few sips of whatever it was she was drinking.
“Any good?” I asked.
“Mmmm, pineapple,” she said with a blissful look crossing over her face.
Never knew they made a pineapple soda.
Agent Ortiz took a few more sips and then cleared her throat rather loudly, guess the reprieve from the interrogation was over, lucky me… “So Norman,” she said, picking the binder of information back up, “where did you say you got this again?”
Ah, she was pulling that old trick, I knew that one. Essentially what she had done and rather cleverly I might add, is take a break from the conversation, distract me and then ask me a question in a manner that made it seem like I had already answered her. All I had to do now was recall the answer and repeat back to her, no problem, except for the fact that I never told her the source of the information. It was a nice try though.
