by Sara Daniell
His arms wrap around me and hold me tightly against him. I grip his shirt in my fist as I cry against his chest. I’m glad he’s here even if I can’t admit it out loud. I’d fucking die right here and right now if it weren’t for him holding me.
Sage. Oh god, Sage. I’m so sorry. . .
Please eat something,” Plath begs as he pushes a plate of food closer to me.
I rest my head in my hands and look down at the food. I take the fork in my hand and slowly pick at the green beans. I look at Plath, his eyes begging me to eat. I gently place my fork down and look out the window.
“I can’t eat.”
“You haven’t eaten a single thing for a week. You are going to be weak. If we find ourselves in a fight, you will need your strength.” His words are calm, yet serious.
I shake my head in disbelief that Sage is dead. I can’t seem to wrap my mind around the reality of it. A tear slides down my cheek as I replay the images of her lifeless body: mangled, bloody, and torn to shreds.
“Please, Orion.” He nudges the plate a bit more in my direction.
I slowly pick up the fork and stab a green bean. I slowly chew it and force it down with a sip of water.
Plath half-smiles and says, “Well, I guess that is better than nothing.”
I force a weak smile on my face and say, “I guess.”
When he realizes I’m not going to eat anymore, he asks, “Are you ready to leave?” I nod my head, and we get up from our booth.
Plath pays the tab, and I wait outside of the diner for him. I watch through the window as the cashier bats her eyelashes at him. I curse at the hint of jealousy that fills my entire body. I can’t have feelings for someone. Not now. Not ever.
Plath folds the receipt as he walks out of the door and places it in his back pocket. “Where do you want to stay tonight?”
I shrug my shoulders and place the hood of my jacket over my head. We haven’t found a place to stay, and I refuse to go back to the apartment. I can’t bring myself to see Sage’s things as they were before she was killed.
“Okay, I can see I’m going to have to be the one to make the decision, again.” He looks around before taking a step forward, a normal habit for us both, to check for trouble. As soon as he is convinced that we are safe, for now, we head towards the car.
“So, is this how it’s going to be from now on? No talking, eating, or sleeping?” He unlocks the car.
I get in and sit down. I look at him with an emotionless stare and say, “Why do you care? You are only being nice for your own benefit. You only came to me and Sage when you found yourself all alone and in danger.”
He starts the car but leaves it in park. “Is that really what you think of me?” I shrug my shoulders and look away from him without responding.
“Look at me!” He demands.
I slowly turn to look at him and say, “Can we just find somewhere to stay tonight? You are wasting gas by just sitting here.”
“I don’t give a damn about the gas! But I do give a damn about your feelings for me!” He looks shocked by the words that left his mouth, but not as shocked as me.
I laugh nervously. “My feelings… For you? Would you like the honest answer or the sugar-coated one?”
“Honest.”
“I think you are a jack-ass who doesn’t have control over his emotions. You do something evil, and then you try to cover it up with doing something nice. It’s annoying as hell.” I don’t take my eyes off of his.
He glares intensely back at me, and it is somewhat intimidating. “Would you like my honest opinion about you?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Go for it.”
“I think you are a bitch. You are unhappy with everything and everyone. You have a wall put up so strong that you could never have any friends. No one likes you, and for some reason, you don’t care. I don’t know how Sage put up with you for so long!” My mouth drops open, and I’m having a hard time getting it to close.
“You are a murderer of innocent Dwellers!” I accuse.
“You are a murderer of innocent Hunters who are only doing their job!” He accuses back.
“You are stupid as hell to believe Hunters are innocent!” I reply loudly.
“We don’t have a choice but to kill! We were once innocent! Do you think it was my choice to be a Sphere Hunter?” He yells, his hands in tight fists.
“If not yours, then whose choice was it?” I yell back.
He slams his fist on the steering wheel and yells, “My parents! Dammit! They owed the Constable a debt, and they paid with me!”
I try to find words to say but stumble over every word that tries to leave my mouth. “I…”
He is breathing heavily, but his voice remains calm. Through a clenched jaw, he says, “Don’t say anything. It is what it is, and I can’t change it. But I want you to know this was not my choice for my life.”
“Why would they owe the Constable a debt? I have never heard of that before.”
“There are many things you haven’t heard. Did you even know that Hunters like me existed in our Sphere?”
I haven’t thought about that before. “No, I had no idea until we were being hunted.”
“There are many things you don’t know. The Constable and the Sphere we lived in were not all sunshine and roses.”
I scoff at the thought of sunshine and roses. “Duh. I pretty much figured that out when I was in school. A government that promotes peace but hangs the first Dweller that does something wrong does not portray the sunshine and roses image to me.”
“You have no idea the secrets and lies I know. They are setting our entire Sphere up for a life no Dweller expects to live. The Sphere was meant to be a safe place, not what it’s becoming.”
My parents and Felix quickly come to mind. “What do you mean?”
“I wish I could tell you, but I can’t.”
“Are you being serious right now? You can’t tell me? My family is there!” He shakes his head and stares out the windshield.
“I wish I could, but I can’t. They did something to me. Performed some sort of hypnosis, making it impossible for me to talk about it in detail. I know it in my mind, but it’s impossible to form the words to explain it. All I can say is that it’s probably better to live here being hunted than it is to live in our Sphere.” His eyes lock on mine, and I don’t look away.
“But you said that the Constable is trying to kill the Dwellers who want to expose the Sphere to Earth. That they are afraid Earth will corrupt the Sphere. I’m confused.”
He rubs the back of his neck and sighs. “I lied. Now I’m telling the truth. The truth is that the ones who know the truth about the Constable escaped to Earth. The Constable is afraid that if everyone finds out about Earth, catching a single glimpse of it, that they will flee, and they will no longer have the control that they want.”
“I wish you could tell me what their plans are.”
“I wish I could tell you, too.”
We pull into a hotel, and Plath goes in to get a room. He comes back out and parks the car. We both get out to go in, and when we reach our room, he stops. He looks sheepishly at me over his shoulder.
“I have to tell you something,” he admits.
“What?” I cross my arms over my chest.
“They only had a room with one bed available. I will sleep on the floor. I just didn’t want you to walk in and be upset.”
I roll my eyes and walk in as he opens the door. My mouth drops open when I see flower petals all over the bed leading to the bathroom that has a large bathtub full of bubbles and more flower petals.
“What the hell, Plath!” I’m angry and embarrassed.
Plath’s mouth is wide open and his face is turning purple. “I swear I had nothing to do with this!” He runs to the phone and dials the front desk. “Ma’am, could you please explain the cheesy attempt at romance in the room we are staying in?” After he hangs up the phone, he turns to look at me and starts laughing hysterically. “You
are not going to believe this shit!”
I cross my arms over my chest and say, “Explain.”
“They had this room ready for a couple on their anniversary. They called and canceled last minute. She said she forgot to have it cleaned up. Don’t worry; if I was trying to get laid, I sure wouldn’t have done something as cheesy as this shit!”
I laugh and say, “And what would you do if you wanted to get laid? Because romance could not possibly be in your genetics.”
He looks down at his feet and then looks up at me with a playful grin. He stalks toward me, slowly taking off his jacket. He then slowly removes his shirt, exposing his bare chest. As he gets closer he runs his hands through his hair and bites his bottom lip. Oh my damn, he is hot. I swear the temperature in here is rising as he gets only inches away from me. He cups my face in his hands, and I’m too shocked to pull away. He brings his lips close, gently brushing them against mine. He smiles against my lips and starts laughing, quickly pulling away.
“You were going to let me kiss you?” He asks in pure shock while still laughing.
I look away. Embarrassed as hell. “No, I wasn’t!”
“Yes, you were. Don’t lie.” He has a cocky smile plastered across his face.
“Go put on your shirt.” I refuse to make eye contact with him.
“Sorry, I know my sexy body can be intimidating.” He is seriously amused by this.
I roll my eyes and take off my shoes. “I never said anything about your body being attractive. It’s just weird you standing here, shirtless.”
I walk to the bathroom and slam the door shut. What the hell did I just almost allow to happen? I splash cold water on my face, trying to remind myself that feelings like that can’t happen between me and him. Not ever.
I take a quick bath and cringe when I realize I have to put on my dirty clothes. I get dressed and walk out of the bathroom. Plath is lying on the bed watching TV.
I notice all of the dumb rose petals are gone. “Where did all the petals go?”
He points to the trash. “Where they belong. That has got to be one of the most pitiful attempts at romance.”
I’m about to ask what his idea is on romance but stop myself when I remember what happened earlier. I know my cheeks are flushed at the thought of how his lips felt lightly touching mine.
“We should probably get some clothes and things tomorrow,” I say. I hesitate to sit on the bed, and he laughs.
Smiling, he says, “I won’t bite. But I can get up if I make you uncomfortable.”
I shake my head and laugh. “No, you are fine.”
I have never been interested in dating before. All of the guy Dwellers are so lame. At least they were in Dandux. Since we are only supposed to be nice and shit rainbows, guys were too fake for my liking. For some reason, I like a guy to be a jack-ass sometimes. It keeps things interesting. Maybe that is why I’m so attracted to Plath. Wait, did I just admit that?
“It is nice to see you smiling and laughing,” he says with his head propped up on one of his hands.
“It feels good to smile and laugh. I just miss Sage…” I feel tears burning my eyes and try to hold them back.
Plath sits up and comes closer to me. He grabs my hand and laces his fingers in mine. “Orion, don’t hide your emotions because I’m here. If you want to cry, scream, punch some shit, I understand. You have to stop acting like you are so damn strong all of the time.”
Tears begin to pour heavily from my eyes. He wraps me in his arms, pulling me tightly against his chest. “It’s not fair!” I yell. He runs his hands through my hair and doesn’t say a word.
“She didn’t deserve this! It is all my fault!” My sobbing is uncontrollable.
He calmly says, “No one deserves this. And this is not your fault. Don’t think that for a single second.” He continues to run his fingers through my hair and down my back, trying to comfort me.
“How? How is this not my fault? I convinced her to eavesdrop with me that night. And I went searching for Earth and allowed her to come along with me!”
“But it was ultimately her choice to come with you. If she wouldn’t have wanted to, you would not have made her.” He is right, but it still feels like it is my fault.
I pull away from his embrace and wipe the tears from my face. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down and walk over to my messenger bag to get a cigarette. I see a sign that says “no smoking” on the wall as I light it. I shrug my shoulders and continue to smoke it anyway. Plath walks towards me and leans against the wall next to me.
He places his hands in his pockets and crosses one foot over the other. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Probably not.” I laugh. I concentrate on inhaling the nicotine and am thankful as it calms my nerves.
“You know… A week has passed with no one trying to kill us. It’s too quiet.”
I nod my head. “I agree. Do you think they are planning something?”
“They have to be. And the ones we killed in that neighborhood that day are not the ones who killed Sage. Whoever did it, did it just before we got there to her. It seemed like the work of Nikolai.”
I take the last hit off my cigarette and walk to the bathroom to flush it down the toilet. When I come back out I look at Plath and say, “Nikolai?”
“My leader. Well, he was my leader. He likes making his killings…more dramatic.”
“Where can I find him?”
Plath shakes his head. “You won’t find him. But I imagine it won’t be long before you meet him. He is probably after us now.”
“Good. I can’t wait to meet him.”
He laughs and says, “You think you are brave as shit, don’t you?”
“I like to call it determined. Brave would be saying I’m not scared. And honestly, I’m scared as hell. But very determined to kill the one who did this to Sage.”
“Well, your determined ass needs to get some rest. Do you want me to sleep on the floor?”
I hesitate before answering. “Ummm… I guess it will be fine if you sleep in the bed too. Just stay on your side.”
He laughs and walks over to the bed and climbs in. I get in and lay down as close to the edge as I possibly can. I close my eyes and pray that I don’t have more nightmares of Sage.
AFTER TOSSING AND turning for the past hour, I give up on trying to sleep. I get up and put on my shoes and jacket. I’m about to throw my messenger bag over my shoulder when I realize Plath is sitting up in bed looking at me.
“Where are you going?” He stands and walks towards me.
“I’m going for a walk. I can’t sleep.”
“You can’t go out by yourself. You will get killed.” He starts putting on his shoes and throws a hoodie over his head.
I laugh. “I have gone out for walks every night while you slept. Have you forgotten that I have stayed alive all of this time? Before you ever came around? Stop thinking you are some damn hero or something. It’s annoying.”
He runs his hands through his dark hair and takes a deep breath. His voice is full of sarcasm, which makes me laugh. “Okay, let me start over. Can I come with you? I need to go for a walk too.”
I raise my eyebrows at him. “You need to go for a walk too?”
He nods his head and bites his bottom lip. “Yes, very badly.” I roll my eyes and open the door.
We walk to a nearby park, and I sit down on a bench and pull out my cell phone. I start reading text messages from Sage before she died. I’m thankful that I never deleted them. Sometimes reading them is the only thing that keeps me from completely losing it.
“Hey, Plath?” I ask.
He places his hands behind his head and says, “Yeah?”
“Why do you think the Constable only allow Dwellers to show certain emotions?” I place my cell phone back in my bag and look at him.
“Have you not figured out that they are control freaks? It amuses them that Dwellers are afraid of them. They make up dumb rules to prove their control and the
n laugh about it.”
“Are you serious? They do it for their own entertainment? I figured they had some good reason behind it. I was beginning to believe something was really wrong with me. I never conformed to their ways, but others always did. I’m glad that I never fell for it.” I laugh at how ridiculous it all is.
“I have a confession to make… The Constable sent me themselves to come find you,” he admits.
I laugh. “Oh really? And why you?”
“I know you already know I’m totally bad ass, so I won’t go into details. To put it simply, I’m sort of the best.” A cocky grin appears on his face, and I burst out laughing.
Between laughter, I breathlessly say, “You? The best? Then why am I still alive, Plath?”
His smile fades, and he changes the subject. “We really should go try to get some rest.”
“You’re right. But first I want to know why you haven’t killed me yet. It sounds like the Constable was confident you would.” I stare at his eyes, trying to read his expression.
His expression serious, he says, “I still plan on killing you. I just haven’t yet.”
I punch him on the shoulder and say, “Whatever! Okay—let’s get some rest. But you will answer my questions later. Whether you like it or not.”
“I will consider answering your questions, but I make no promises.” He laughs, and I roll my eyes.
We head back to the hotel, and I take a few Tylenol PM. I wait a half hour before the pills finally win.
So, where is our Sphere located? I mean… Is it near Earth?” I ask as I look through clothes at a department store.
Plath is obviously bored. He admitted he hated shopping before we came, and I told him it would be weird if he did like it. Most guys don’t.
“It’s on Earth.” He looks intimidated by the large pile of clothes I have draped over my arm to try on.
