by Sylvia Day
I thought of his fuck pad, a stocked-with-sexual-paraphernalia suite reserved in one of his many hospitality properties. He’d given it up, thank God, but I’d never forget it. “Maybe it’s better I don’t hear any more.”
“You opened this door,” he snapped. “We’re walking through it.”
I sighed. “Fair enough.”
“There were times when I couldn’t stand to be alone with myself, but I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to even think, let alone feel anything. I needed the distraction of focusing on someone else, and using my dick was too much involvement. Can you understand that?”
Sadly, I could, recalling times when I’d dropped to my knees for a guy just to shut off my brain for a while. Encounters like those had never been about foreplay or sex.
“So is she one of the girls you screwed or not?” I hated asking the question, but we had to get it out of the way.
He turned his head to look at me. “Once.”
“Must’ve been some lay for her to be so bent out of shape over it.”
“I couldn’t say,” he muttered. “I don’t remember.”
“Were you drunk?”
“No. Jesus.” He scrubbed at his face. “What the hell did she tell you?”
“Nothing personal. She did mention you having a ‘dark side.’ I’m assuming that’s a sexual reference, but I didn’t ask her for details. She was playing it like we had an affinity because we’d both been thrown over by you. The ‘Dumped by Gideon Sisterhood.’ ”
He glanced at me with cold eyes. “Don’t be catty. It doesn’t suit you.”
“Hey.” I frowned. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be a total bitch. Just a little one. I think I’m entitled, all things considered.”
“What the hell was I supposed to do, Eva? I didn’t know you existed.” Gideon’s voice deepened, roughened. “If I’d known you were out there, I would’ve hunted you down. I wouldn’t have waited a second to find you. But I didn’t know, and I settled for less. So did you. We both wasted ourselves on the wrong people.”
“Yeah, we did. Dumbasses.”
There was a pause. “Are you pissed?”
“No, I’m good.”
He stared.
I laughed. “You were getting ready to fight, weren’t you? We can play it that way if you want. Personally, I was hoping to get laid again.”
Gideon slid over me. The look on his face, the melding of relief and gratitude, caused a sharp pain in my chest. I was reminded of how important it was for him to be trusted to share the truth.
“You’re different,” he said, touching my face.
Of course I was. The man I loved had killed for me. A lot of things became inconsequential after a sacrifice like that.
3
“ANGEL.”
I smelled the coffee before I opened my eyes. “Gideon?”
“Hmm?”
“If it’s not at least seven o’clock, I’m going to kick your ass.”
His soft laugh made my toes curl. “It’s early, but we need to talk.”
“Yeah?” I opened one eye, then the other, so I could fully admire his three-piece suit. He looked so edible, I wanted to take it off him—with my teeth.
He settled on the edge of my bed, the embodiment of temptation. “I want to make sure we’re solid before I leave.”
I sat up and leaned against the headboard, making no effort to cover my breasts because we were going to end up talking about his ex-fiancée. I played dirty when warranted. “I’ll need that coffee for this conversation.”
Gideon handed me the mug, then stroked the pad of his thumb over my nipple. “So beautiful,” he murmured. “Every inch of you.”
“Are you trying to distract me?”
“You’re distracting me. Very effectively.”
Could he possibly be as infatuated with my looks and body as I was with his? The thought made me smile.
“I missed your smile, angel.”
“I know the feeling.” Every time I’d seen him and he hadn’t gifted me with his smile had been another cut to my heart until I’d been bleeding nonstop. I couldn’t even think of those occasions without feeling echoes of the pain. “Where did you hide the suit, ace? I know it wasn’t in your pocket.”
With a change of clothes, he’d transformed himself into a powerful, successful businessman. The suit was bespoke, and his shirt and tie were immaculately matched. Even his cuff links gleamed with understated elegance. Still, the fall of dark hair that skimmed his collar warned others he was far from tamed.
“That’s one of the things we need to talk about.” He straightened, but the warmth in his gaze remained. “I took over the apartment next door. We’ll have to make our reconciliation seem suitably gradual, so I’ll keep up the appearance of using my penthouse for the most part, but I’ll be spending as much time as possible as your new neighbor.”
“Is it safe?”
“I’m not a suspect, Eva. I’m not even a person of interest. My alibi is airtight, and I have no known motive. We’re just showing the detectives some respect by not insulting their intelligence. We’re making it easy for them to justify their conclusion that they’re at a dead end.”
I took a sip of coffee, giving me time to contemplate what he’d said. The danger might not be immediate, but it was inherent in his guilt. I felt the pressure of it, no matter how he tried to reassure me.
But we were working our way back to each other, and I sensed his need for reassurance that we were going to recover from the strain and separation of the last few weeks.
I deliberately took a light tone when I replied, “So my former boyfriend will be on Fifth Avenue, but I’ve got a hunky new neighbor to play with? This could be interesting.”
One of his brows arched. “You want to role-play, angel?”
“I want to keep you satisfied,” I admitted with brutal honesty. “I want to be everything you ever found in the other women you’ve been with.” Women he’d taken to a fuck pad with toys.
His irises were cool blue fire, but his voice came smooth and even. “I can’t keep my hands off you. That should be enough to tell you I don’t need more.”
I watched him stand. He took my mug and set it on the nightstand, then caught the edge of the sheet and threw it deftly aside, exposing me completely.
“Scoot down,” he ordered. “Spread your legs.”
My pulse quickened as I obeyed him, sliding to my back and allowing my thighs to fall open. There was an instinctive urge to cover myself—the feeling of vulnerability under that piercing gaze was so intense—but I resisted it. I’d be dishonest if I didn’t admit that it was wildly exciting to be totally naked while he was irresistibly clothed in one of his sexy-as-hell suits. It created an instantaneous power advantage for him that was a serious turn-on.
He stroked a finger through the lips of my sex, gliding teasingly over my clit. “This beautiful cunt is mine.”
My belly quivered at the rasp in his voice.
Cupping me in his palm, he met my gaze. “I’m a very possessive man, Eva, as I’m sure you’ve noticed by now.”
I shivered as the tip of his finger circled the clenching opening. “Yes.”
“Role-play, restraints, modes of transportation, and varied locations … I look forward to exploring all of that with you.” Eyes glittering, he slid a finger oh-so-slowly inside me. He made a low purring noise and caught his lower lip between his teeth, a purely erotic look that told me he felt his semen inside me.
Being penetrated and so gently pleasured left me unable to speak for a moment.
“You like that,” he said softly.
“Umm.”
His finger went deeper. “I’ll be damned if plastic, glass, metal, or leather will make you come. B.O.B. and his friends will have to find other amusements.”
Heat swept over my skin like fever. He understood.
Bending over me, Gideon placed one hand on the mattress and lowered his mouth to mine. His thumb pressed against
my clit and rubbed expertly, massaging me inside and out. The pleasure of his touch spread, tightening my stomach and hardening my nipples. I clutched my bare breasts in my hands, squeezing as they swelled. His touch and desire were magic. How had I ever lived without him?
“I ache for you,” he said hoarsely. “Crave you constantly. Snap your fingers and I’m hard.” He traced my lower lip with his tongue, inhaling my panting breaths. “When I come, I come for you. Because of you and your mouth, hands, and insatiable little cunt. And it’ll be that way for you in reverse. My tongue, my fingers, my cum inside you. Just you and me, Eva. Intimate and raw.”
I had no doubt I was the focal point of his world when he was touching me, the only thing he saw or thought of. But we couldn’t have that physical connection all the time. Somehow, I had to learn to believe in what I couldn’t see between us.
Shameless, my body writhed as I rode his plunging finger. He added another and I dug in my heels, arching up to meet his thrusts. “Please.”
“When your eyes turn soft and dreamy, I’ll be the one who put that look on you, not a toy.” He nibbled my jaw, then moved to my chest, nudging my hands aside with his lips. He claimed my nipple in a gentle bite, his mouth surrounding the tender peak and sucking softly. The ache he created was needle-sharp, my hunger spurred by the sense that there was a lingering gulf between us, something that hadn’t yet been recognized and resolved.
“More,” I gasped, needing his pleasure as much as my own.
“Always,” he murmured, his mouth curving in a wicked smile against my skin.
I groaned in frustration. “I want your cock inside me.”
“As you should.” His tongue curled around my other nipple, flickering teasingly over it until it ached for suction. “Your craving should be for me, angel, not an orgasm. For my body, my hands. Eventually, you won’t be able to come without my skin touching yours.”
I nodded frantically, my mouth too dry to speak. Need was coiled like a spring in my core, tightening with every circle of Gideon’s thumb on my clit and every thrust of his fingers. I thought of B.O.B., my trusty Battery-Operated Boyfriend, and knew that if Gideon were to stop touching me now, nothing would get me off. My passion was for him, my desire inflamed by his desire for me.
My thighs quivered. “I’m g-going to come.”
His mouth covered mine, his beautiful lips soft and coaxing. It was the love in his kiss that pushed me over. I cried out and shuddered through a quick, hard orgasm. My moan was long and broken, my body quivering violently. I pushed my hands under his jacket to grip his back, holding him close, my mouth claiming his until the wracking pleasure eased.
Licking the taste of me from his fingers, he murmured, “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I consciously tried to slow my racing heart. “I’m not thinking. I just want to look at you.”
“You don’t always. Sometimes you close your eyes.”
“That’s because you’re a talker in bed and your voice is so sexy.” I swallowed hard with remembered pain. “I love to hear you, Gideon. I need to know that I’m making you feel as good as you make me feel.”
“Suck me off now,” he whispered. “Make me come for you.”
I slid from the bed in a breathless rush, my hands reaching eagerly for his fly. He was hard and thick, his erection straining. Lifting his shirttail and pushing down his boxer briefs, I freed him. He fell heavily into my hands, the thick length already glistening at the tip. I licked the evidence of his excitement away, loving his control, the way he reined in his own hungers to satisfy mine.
My eyes were on him as my open mouth slid over the plush head. I watched his lips part on a sharply indrawn breath and his eyelids grow heavy, as if the pleasure were intoxicating.
“Eva.” His hooded gaze was hot on my face. “Ah … Yes. Like that. Christ, I love your mouth.”
His praise spurred me on. I took him as deep as I could. I loved doing this to him, loved the uniquely masculine taste and smell of him. I ran my lips down the length of him, suckling gently. Worshipfully. And I didn’t feel wrong for adoring his virility—I deserved it.
“You love this,” he said gruffly, pushing his fingers into my hair to cup my head. “As much as I do.”
“More. I want to do this for hours. Make you come over and over again.”
A growl rumbled in his chest. “I would. I can’t get enough.”
The tip of my tongue traced a pulsing vein up to the head, and then I took him in my mouth again, my neck arching back as I lowered to sit on my heels, my hands on my knees, offering myself to him.
Gideon looked down with eyes that glittered with lust and tenderness.
“Don’t stop.” He widened his stance. He slid his cock to the back of my throat, then pulled back out, coating my tongue with a trail of creamy pre-ejaculate. I swallowed, savoring the rich flavor of him.
He groaned, his hands cupping my jaw. “Don’t stop, angel. Suck me dry.”
My cheeks hollowed as we found a rhythm, our rhythm, the syncing of our hearts and breaths and drive to pleasure. We had no problem overthinking our way into trouble, but our bodies never got it wrong. When we had our hands on each other, we both knew we were in the one place we needed to be, with the one person we needed to be with.
“So fucking good.” His teeth ground audibly. “Ah, God, you’re making me come.”
His cock swelled in my mouth. His hand fisted in my hair, pulling, his body shuddering as he came hard.
Gideon cursed as I swallowed. He emptied himself in thick, hot bursts, flooding my mouth as if he hadn’t come all night. By the time he finished, I was gasping and trembling. He pulled me to my feet and stumbled to the bed, settling heavily with me tucked into his side. His lungs labored, his hands rough as he pulled me closer.
“This wasn’t what I had in mind when I brought you coffee.” He pressed a quick, rough kiss to my forehead. “Not that I have any complaints.”
I curled into him, beyond grateful to have him in my arms again. “Let’s play hooky and make up for lost time.”
His laugh was husky from his orgasm. He held me for a while, his fingers sifting through my hair and gliding gently down my arm.
“It ripped me apart,” he said quietly. “Seeing how hurt and angry you were. Knowing I was causing you pain and that you were pulling away from me … It was hell for us both, but I couldn’t take the risk that you might become a suspect.”
I stiffened. I hadn’t thought of that possibility. It could be argued that I was Gideon’s motive to kill. And it could be assumed that I was aware of the crime as well. My complete and utter ignorance hadn’t been my only protection; he’d made sure I had an alibi, too. Always protecting me—whatever the cost.
He pulled back. “I put a burner phone in your purse. It’s preprogrammed with a number that will put you in touch with Angus. If you need me for anything, you can reach me that way.”
My hands clenched into fists—I had to reach my boyfriend through his chauffeur. “I hate this.”
“So do I. Clearing my way back to you is my number one priority.”
“Isn’t it dangerous for Angus to be put in the middle?”
“He’s former MI6. Clandestine phone calls are child’s play for him.” He paused, then said, “Full disclosure, Eva: I can track you through the phone and I will.”
“What?” I slid out of bed and stood. My thoughts bounced back and forth between MI6—British secret service!—to geotracking my cell, unsure of what to latch on to first. “No way.”
He stood, too. “If I can’t be with you or talk to you, I at least need to know where you are.”
“Don’t be this way, Gideon.”
His face was composed. “I didn’t have to tell you.”
“Seriously?” I stalked to the closet to grab a robe. “And you said warning someone about ridiculous behavior isn’t an excuse for it.”
“Cut me some slack.”
Glaring at him, I shoved my hands into the
sleeves of a red silk dressing gown and yanked the belt into a knot. “No. I think you’re a control freak who likes having me followed.”
He crossed his arms. “I like keeping you alive.”
I froze. After a moment, my brain rewound to look at the events of the last few weeks again—with the addition of Nathan in the picture. Abruptly, everything made sense: the way Gideon had freaked out when I’d tried to walk to work one morning, why Angus had shadowed me around the city every day, Gideon’s fury when he commandeered the elevator I was riding …
All those times I’d almost hated him for being an asshole, he’d been thinking about keeping me safe from Nathan.
My knees weakened, and I sank inelegantly to the floor.
“Eva.”
“Give me a minute.” I’d figured out a lot of it already during the time we’d been apart. I’d realized Gideon would never allow Nathan to simply stroll into his office with photos of me being abused and violated, then just stroll back out again. Brett Kline had only kissed me and Gideon had beaten him up. Nathan had raped me repeatedly for years and documented it with pictures and video. Gideon’s reaction to meeting Nathan the first time had to have been violent.
Nathan must have visited the Crossfire Building the day I’d found Gideon freshly showered with a crimson stain on the cuff of his shirt. What I’d originally suspected was lipstick was Nathan’s blood. The sofa and sofa pillows in Gideon’s office had been skewed from a fight, not from a lunch quickie with Corinne.
Scowling fiercely, he crouched in front of me. “Damn it. Do you think I want to micromanage you? There have been extenuating circumstances. Give me credit for trying to balance your independence with keeping you safe.”
Wow. Hindsight didn’t just make things crystal clear; it smacked me upside the head and knocked some sense into me. “I get it.”
“I don’t think you do. This”—he gestured impatiently at himself—“is just a fucking shell. You’re what drives me, Eva. Can you understand that? You’re my heart and soul. If something ever happened to you, it would kill me, too. Keeping you safe is goddamned self-preservation! Tolerate it for me, if you won’t do it for yourself.”
