by Mia Ford
The blackness comes for me quickly, and I succumb to it, but Serena is in my brain the whole time, infiltrating my dreams and making me fall for her all over again...
***
My eyes snap open as soon as the sunlight streams through the window... or at least as soon as I notice it. By the time my vision adjusts I realise that it’s actually quite bright, so it’s probably pretty late in the morning. I move my hand to the side, expecting to feel the softness of Serena’s skin next to me, but all I get are cold sheets.
The bed is cold and empty, and it has been for a while now.
“Serena?” I croak, pushing myself into a sitting position. “Where are you?”
The last thing I remember is Serena going to the bathroom and to get a drink. There’s a tall glass of water next to me and a dent in the bed which suggests she came back to sleep, but for some reason she’s gone all over again. I need to find out where and what’s going on with her. The last thing I want is for the most amazing night of my life to turn into something awkward and weird.
I take a massive gulp of the water and I get out the bed. I pad across the room and to the door which opens up into her living room. This home is so small that it doesn’t even have hallways, it’s so cramped, the complete opposite to mine, but it’s Serena’s home and she’s clearly terrified of losing it.
“Serena?” She’s sitting on the couch and curled over herself as if she might be crying. My blood runs cold, is this my fault? Is she upset because she slept with me? I don’t want to be her mistake. “Serena, are you okay?”
She lifts up her face to look at me and the red rims around her eyes prove that she has been crying. “I’m sorry, Ben, this is bad timing. I don’t mean to be upset right now, this isn’t right.”
I perch on the chair opposite her and lean my elbows onto my knees. I don’t want to get too close in case I am the problem here. “What’s going on? Don’t worry about timing, or whatever, just tell me.”
It’s weird to care. I can’t recall the last time that any woman and her emotions, aside from my mother of course, got to me. It feels all odd and shaky inside, I almost don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do with myself.
“It’s Jenny.” She holds up her cell phone to indicate that she’s just been on a call. “She just called me. She got the job so she’s definitely leaving.” She sobs a little, but I feel frozen. I don’t know how I’m supposed to behave now. “I know I already knew about this and I had some time to prepare, but it’s still a shock. I mean she’s going to be gone, she’ll be travelling the world on some cruise ship and I’ll still be stuck here. Alone, with a job I hate and no home.”
“A job you hate?” I can’t help being a little offended by that. That’s how we met.
“Oh not you,” she reassures me. “I’ve loved spending time with you, but all the other guys in there are horrible. Plus if I have to move then I’ll probably live too far away to make it worth it. I can’t travel too far across the city at that time of morning in that outfit, you know, it just isn’t safe.”
“I’ll always walk you,” I insist, trying to make her smile. “You know that.”
She smirks but looks down. Her sadness isn’t going anywhere any time soon. Even I can’t help with that. “Yeah, I know, I just don’t like the way that everything is changing much too quickly. It’s a bit much.” She wipes some stray tears that fly out of her eyes. “Sorry, I know I’m being an idiot, it’s just the news just came through and I’m shocked.”
I move over to where she’s sitting on the couch and put my arms around her. As I do my mind ticks over, my brain scans right through it for any possible solution. I know it needs to be in there somewhere, it has to be.
Oh my God...
As my brain hits upon it, the jackpot idea, I pause for a moment just checking through it in my mind. It’s perfect, but radical and I need to check if it’s smart before I actually go through with it. I like the idea, I like Serena, but I don’t want to do anything rash. I don’t want to do anything rash that could ruin us....
Nope, it’s great, I’m going to go for it.
“Why don’t you come and live with me for a while?” Predictably, she pulls back and she stares at me like I’m a mad person. “No, I know how that sounds, but just hear me out before you start jumping to conclusions. My house is massive, I have plenty of spare rooms so you could definitely have your own space, there would be absolutely no pressure on your shoulders at all for anything. You could just stay there while you work out what you want to do with your life. I’ll cover all expenses so you don’t have to worry about it, you can stop working in the club and just take some time.”
She stands up and paces the room, clearly stunned by my insane suggestion. I knew she would be, I feel a bit like that myself, but once she takes a moment she’ll come around I just know it.
“I’m not saying you have to make a decision right now,” I tell her reassuringly. “Why don’t you just come with me to mine and take a look. See if it’s something you could get on board with.”
“But won’t it be weird? Like, after us hooking up and stuff? Will it be strange for us to live together?” Serena’s face goes a deep bright red now. “I know that’s odd to ask but I want to be sure that this won’t be a mistake.”
I stand up and join her, taking her hands in mine. “Only if we make it that way. We can make it whatever it is, you know? There’s no pressure. We can just be. We can be roommates or friends, or whatever.” Even I don’t know what I want, which is understandable since we’ve only known each other two days, but there’s something deep in my chest that’s telling me this is right. I’m not impulsive, that’s what’s gotten me this far in life. But now, I want to be. For her. “Just come and see the house, let’s go from there.”
She nods slowly. “I suppose that can’t hurt.” Her face breaks into a smile. “I would like to see where your house is anyway. It’s only fair since you’ve seen mine. I need a distraction anyway. I don’t want to sit around moping all day. Jenny’s going, that’s that. I don’t want to think about it for another second longer.”
As Serena heads into her bedroom I wait for the moment of regret to come in but it doesn’t. I just feel good about my decision, I want this. The idea of Serena living in my home, invading my personal space, it just seems like it’s going to be awesome.
Chapter Twelve – Serena
What is going on? I ask myself with a small shake of my head. This is insane.
I cannot believe that Ben has asked me to move in with him, it’s almost like it’s a damn movie. Like when the heroine falls in love far too quickly and things progress in this amazing and romantic way and somehow it all works out. Yes there are a few hiccups along the way, but it’s always a happy ever after. Is this going to be mine? Is this honestly the start of my own love story? Am I headed towards my own happy ever after?
I pull some fresh clothes on without much thinking about it. I’m just too excited to see deeper into Ben’s world. I might not decide to go along with his crazy, spur of the moment plan, even if it’s way better than any other idea that I’ve heard, but I do want to see his home and this sounds to be a good excuse to do so. I’ve seen all the rich people massive houses around the city, but I’ve never been inside one. I’m interested to see how the other half lives.
As I move back towards my bedroom door I pause for just a moment. I need to give Ben just a second to really think this through before he does anything rash. I haven’t agreed to his plan, but he might be regretting it already. I need him to work out how he’s feeling before I can decide how I feel about it all. It is his house.
I count to three in my mind before I push the door open. Fear swirls around inside of me as I do, but I try not to let that show on my face. I keep the smile there as I look at him. “Everything alright, Ben?”
He gives me this intense look but he doesn’t look like he regrets anything. He actually looks like he might be excited. “I’m good. Let’s get
going, shall we? I’m looking forward to you seeing my place.”
Once we both reach my apartment door, Ben reaches his hand down to grab mine. As his fingers interlock with mine my heart races. This is too much, I’m sure it’s happening too quickly, but I love it. It’s like a whirlwind, a speedy heady rush, it’s how I imagine love is supposed to be. This is how it is, isn’t it? I’m sure this is how people describe it.
God it feels good. So good I want to explode.
We walk outside like that, and I’m sure everyone is staring at us. I don’t take my eyes off of Ben much, but I can feel the jealous prickles racing all over my skin. I’m usually the jealous one, on the outside looking in. I’ve never been in the middle of a couple before and it feels awesome. I love that sensation almost as much as I like Ben.
This is it, I think with utter certainty this time. This is definitely the moment that my real life begins. I can’t believe it, I’m so damn happy I could cry!
There’s nearly a skip in my step. I feel like all the problems have been lifted from my shoulders and that I could fly. Ben just has this weird way of making everything seem okay. I could fall in love with him given half the chance, I just know it.
“It’s quite a walk,” he tells me. “I can call a car if you like.”
“How far is it?” I don’t mind the walk, but I also quite like the idea of him calling a car. I’ve just never had that privilege before. “How long would it take us?”
He pulls out his cell phone. “I’ll call us a car.”
We wait impatiently on the side of the road while the car comes to pick us up. I can barely keep my feet still, I keep bouncing about like a bunny. There’s an ache in the balls of my feet and in my ankles from the long night shifts at CeeLow, but the pain isn’t bothering me as much as it probably should be.
Eventually a black town car with tinted windows turns up. It’s intimidating looking, not the sort of car that I would ever associate with me. Or Ben for that matter, it’s more the kind of vehicle that I would link to organised crime. But when Ben indicates for me to get inside I know that it’s for us.
“Oh my goodness.” Even the car is luxurious. “This is something else.”
“Oh it’s okay. My limo is better stocked, but yeah it’ll do.” Ben gives me a cheeky smile and hands me a bottle of water. I suck it back like there’s no tomorrow as the realisation of just how thirsty I am hits me. “Anyway, it won’t be long until we get to mine now, it isn’t really that far at all.”
I watch out the windows as the houses start getting nicer and nicer. It isn’t long before the sort of place that I live in looks like a shit hole compared to these places, but we’re still going. They get bigger and better and my jealous heart soars. I want one of these places to be mine, they’re just so beautiful...
“Oh my God.” When we eventually stop it’s outside a home that’s nearly mansion like. It certainly is the biggest place I’ve ever seen in the city. I press my hands up against the window and move my face nearer so I can drink it in. “Is this place yours?”
“Yep. All mine. The town house is one of my earliest purchases when I started making it big... closely followed by the house I bought for my mother, but that’s on the outskirts of the city. She wanted to stay near her friends...” He trails off when he realises that he’s gotten off track. “Anyway, shall we go inside?”
I let him lead the way, still looking up at what Ben referred to as a town house. I’m sure this is too big to be classed as a town house. It’s ridiculous. I love it. When we walk inside, I’m even more blown away. It’s modern, sleek, set out in a really nice inviting way. There isn’t a woman’s touch to be seen, but I’m glad about that. It’d be weird to live where another woman has been before. Not that I’ve made my mind up yet.
“Okay so this is the living room...” A room with a giant TV and a comfortable looking couch lies in front of me. I spot some fancy art work on the walls, but I don’t get long enough to properly look at it. “...and the kitchen...” Of course he has every cooking appliance known to a man. I’m pretty sure I even see an electric sushi maker. “...there’s a bathroom down there and a utility room, plus the games room.” Then he takes me up the stairs. “I have my office there, there’s a bedroom there and another one there, possibly two...” These spare bedrooms are bigger than my whole apartment. “And my room is up on another floor. You take whatever room here you want, but if you want to see my room it’s up there.”
I follow him around the house in a state of shock. This is something we could probably actually do without it being too strange or complex. This house is so damn massive it’s ridiculous. We could both live here and keep a distance. It would be a way for us to work out what’s going on between us without having to involve the club anymore, and like Ben said I wouldn’t even need to work there. I could use the time to get back on my feet. I could decide what I want to do with my life it wouldn’t even need to be a permanent thing.
“This is a lovely home,” I rasp, needing to say something. “You have such a nice place.”
Ben moves forward and he takes my hands in his. “Serena, you can see now how we can make this work, can’t you? You can see what I see. There’s plenty of room for both of us, no need for us to get under each other’s feet and we can continue to get to know one another.”
“I have to admit,” I reply with a smile. “At first I thought you were absolutely insane, but maybe now I think different. If you’re absolutely sure this is what you want then maybe we can give it a try. When Jenny goes on her cruise, we can try it as a temporary thing.”
Ben’s face bursts into a bright grin. “That’s amazing news. I cannot wait.”
I’m shocked to see him like this, I never thought he would let me in, but he’s embracing me. He wants me, he wants to open up to me, this feels amazing. He must really like me, maybe even as much as I like him. I’ve got to be the luckiest woman alive.
“Now I think we should both celebrate with a shower, don’t you?”
“What do you mean?” I tease. “Are you trying to say that I smell?”
“Well yeah,” he chuckles at his own joke. “But not just that. I have the most amazing wet room that has more than enough room for two. I haven’t had chance to experiment with another person before and I’d like you to be my first.”
Who says romance is dead? That’s the best offer I’ve ever had in my life. I’m going to be the first person to ever have sex with him in his shower. That’s lovely... maybe I had him all wrong before, maybe he hasn’t ever been a playboy. Maybe I got him all wrong. I let him take me to his wet room feeling like the luckiest woman ever. I cannot believe this has happened to me, small town girl, Serena. Now I’m about to get it all. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of and so much more. I really do feel like the heroine, rather than the side kick for a change.
“So, you’re actually saying yes?” Ben twists his neck to ask me. His expression is one of sheer bliss, but I can tell that he just wants it confirmed in case, so he doesn’t get away with himself. “I can’t believe it. You’re actually saying yes.”
“I am,” I breathe happily, giving him that confirmation. “I most certainly am.”
He pulls me in for a deep and passionate kiss that makes my heart race. His hands work up into my hair and as he holds my head close to his I feel a promise coming from his mouth. He knows he’s taking a huge step with this, neither of us are going into it with our eyes tightly shut, and that feels great.
This feels like the first true adult decision that I’ve ever made in my life. I’m actually proud of myself, I just know that this is all going to work out well in the end.
“Come on, let’s get into the wet room,” I murmur against his mouth. He shudders as my breath tickles his passion bruised lips, giving him a little taste of what might be to come. “I’ve heard great things about it and I want to experience it first hand.”
“Oh you have, have you? Well I’m going to warn you now that words can never
express just how amazing it is. Especially with me in there.”
“Ooh.” I shiver lightly. “That sounds amazing, now I’m even more intrigued.”
Ben grabs me and he pulls me towards the other room with a heady lust in his gaze. I get the strong sensation that I’m in trouble, but the good kind of trouble that I really want to get into. In fact, I want to jump in head first.
Chapter Thirteen – Ben
“Hello, Mom,” I call out in a jovial tone of voice as I walk into my mother’s house. “How are you? You here?”
I figure I might as well visit to tell her the news about me and Serena so she will get all the information directly from me. The last thing I want is for her to pop round unexpectedly to find me living with a woman. She’ll get all kinds of the wrong impression. This is going to be hard enough to get across as it is. I don’t want to make it worse.
“Oh, Ben, you’re here.” She moves out into her hallway with a grin. “I wasn’t expecting you, was I? I didn’t forget that you were coming, did I?”
“No, no, this is unexpected. You aren’t busy, are you?” I glance around wondering if she has plans. Maybe a little phone call would have been a good idea. She could have friends round or anything. Why don’t I ever think things through? “I can always come back...”
