“Master?”
With reluctance, Julian pulled himself out of the vision.
“Did I say something wrong, sir?”
He shook his head. “Not at all, Alex, I just remembered something I must do.” He started to move away, then halted. “Of course my invitation extends to your mother as well. Both of you are welcome anytime at Sagemeadow.”
As Amelia discussed with Dr. Halston the disastrous effects of young ladies pouring belladonna into their eyes, a brisk knock sounded at the door.
When the doctor answered, she stifled a groan—and refused to feel a spark of pleasure—at the sight of Lord Julian’s large, extremely handsome form filling the threshold.
“Pardon the intrusion, I must needs a word with Mrs. Wesson.”
“By all means,” Dr. Halston said. “I would like some fresh air, anyway, so my quarters are at your disposal.”
Dread settled into Amelia’s stomach as she watched the doctor leave, closing the door behind him and shutting her in the tiny room with Lord Julian, whose rather large form now blocked the exit—the only way out. Without speaking, he just stood there with arms crossed and watched her with intense, gray eyes.
She knew a moment of panic. And as the silence stretched out, grating on her nerves, she blurted out, “What is it you want, my lord?”
He stared at her for another fifteen seconds before making a reply. “I have come to a decision.”
Amelia didn’t like the sound of that. Not at all. She cleared her throat and lifted her gaze from the triangle of golden skin at his throat to his eyes, glimmering with finality. “A decision?” Goodness, why did the room suddenly have no air?
Lord Julian pushed away from the door and started forward.
Unable to move or think, she remained in her chair, rooted to the wood, and watched him take the very seat beside her. Her mouth went dry. And for the life of her, she couldn’t look away from the man.
“Amelia,” he said softly, sending tiny prickles up and down her spine; “tell me what happened.” He scooped up her hand between his warm, slightly rough palms, making her flinch from the contact. “I must know.”
As her heart thudded wildly within her chest, that horrible memory surfaced. Lord Julian’s face filled with anger, calling her a liar. A cold chill swept through her as the recollection sharpened in her mind. For those words rang clearly in her ears, even after all this time.
I know exactly why you’re here, Amelia, and what you hope to gain from me. It won’t work, you bloody little liar. Go find someone else to dupe because your devious scheme will not work on me.
Amelia yanked her hand away, anger and bitter resentment igniting within her. “Go away, my lord. I have nothing to discuss with you.”
“But I have much to discuss with you, and I would like to begin by explaining why I sent you away.”
Those painful memories continued to crash over her, almost stealing the breath from her body. She fisted her hands in her lap, praying she could suppress the tormenting images and emotions they stirred from deep within. She had fought for so many years to try and forget what had happened, and in seconds, Lord Julian managed to destroy all of that effort. “There is nothing you can say, my lord,” she began in a low, strained voice, “that could possibly justify your actions.”
His brows shot up. “Even if I had been told two days prior you would come and speak lies about carrying my child?”
She searched his features for signs of deception, but found only an earnest insistence in his level gaze. Who would have told him something like that? Her fingernails bit into her palms. It didn’t matter who told him such a horrific tale. “You should not have believed I would ever lie to you about something so important.” She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so angry. It didn’t matter what he had been told. Julian should have known better. He should have known her, and at the very least, he should have let her say what she had come to tell him and then determine if she were being honest.
He sighed and leaned back in his chair as haggard lines bracketed his mouth. “You are right, Amelia. I should not have believed such a thing.” He glanced away, then back. “That is why I have decided to help you.”
Oh, now he wanted to help her. Well, it was too late for that. “I do not want—nor do I need—any assistance from you,” she said with gritted teeth, wishing her body would stop shaking so badly. She never thought to see this man again, and she certainly never thought he would seek an explanation from her now after all these years. But even more disturbing was how Julian could still make her heart quiver and her body tingle. Just as he could ten years ago. And she couldn’t think clearly around him. That hadn’t changed, either.
His eyes narrowed to slits. “Oh, I beg to differ, madam. You will accept my assistance. I have given the matter considerable thought and have decided to purchase you and Alexander a home very near my estate. I shall also provide you with a monthly stipend for whatever amount you—”
“No!” Amelia shot to her feet. Julian would not be a part of their lives. Not now, not ever. “I will not accept!”
He uncoiled from his chair and rose, towering over her, and looking very, very angry. “I am trying to set things right, Amelia.”
Tears glazed her eyes and stung her throat. How she desperately needed to hear those words ten years ago. Now, it was simply too late. She shook her head. “My answer is still no.”
“You are the most exasperating woman…”
In the blink of an eye, she found herself engulfed in Lord Julian’s embrace, his lips devouring hers. Stunned, she couldn’t move. The agonizingly familiar mixture of sandalwood and his male essence made her dizzy. Her eyes slid shut as the world spun out of control. His lips softened to a persuading rhythm. Teasing, coaxing a response out of her. She couldn’t concentrate on anything but the feel of his warm body pressed against hers and she tingled all over. His tongue swiped her bottom lip. Lightning exploded in her middle. Amelia gasped and he filled her mouth. As pleasure poured through her and she found herself wanting to return his kiss, her senses came back. Just in time.
She jerked away.
Tears she could no longer contain slid one by one down her cheeks. “I do not need you to buy me a house, nor do I want your money.” She dashed the traitorous wetness away. “I will not accept your offer, my lord. Ever. So you can quit wasting your time trying to persuade me with such base tactics.”
His brows shot up and he took a step back. “That’s not what I—”
“It doesn’t matter. Alex and I will manage on our own as we always have.” She crossed her arms. “My new governess position pays well and I have been assured employment for many years to come.” She raised her chin three full inches. “I will be able to take care of Alex very well on my own. As you can see, my lord, I do not need your assistance. And I sure as hell do not want it.”
CHAPTER 5
Julian paced before one of the large windows in the gold salon of his sister’s massive town mansion, his thoughts in turmoil. He never should have let them go. At the very least, he should have pressed harder to escort Amelia and Alex to their destination. Then he could have settled the nagging sensation that continued to torment him, whispering that something was wrong. Thoughts plagued him for not only what he had done to Amelia in the past, but for not helping her when she needed him now. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t hear of him seeing them safely to their destination. He frowned. Why did the directions he overheard her giving to the hackney driver seem familiar?
Out in the street below, he watched a phaeton race by in a cloud of dust and shook his head. Perhaps he should have done more to insist Amelia receive his assistance. The stubborn woman would not listen to his apologies, though. Nor would she hear any discussion of him making amends, monetary or otherwise. She continued to insist she was better off with him staying away from her, that she had a fresh start and he would do nothing but remind her of how horrible her life had once been. He settled his forearm against
the wall and bowed his head. Staying away was much more difficult than he thought it would be. He worried that she would do as well as she indicated, that Alex would be happy and have an opportunity to study the stars. That the two of them would find the peace and joy once denied them. That he had once denied them.
It also drove him to distraction he would never see them again.
He blew out a harsh breath, wishing he’d had more time with them. Perhaps he could have said or done something to make Amelia change her mind. He should have tried harder, should have made it perfectly clear that he had the ability to make her life easier. That he wanted to make her life easier. Alex could have gone to the finest schools and studied astronomy, as the boy truly wanted. Julian gritted his teeth. He damn sure should have found a way to keep them close. That’s what he should have done.
“If you don’t tell me what is bothering you, Julian Alexander Westland, I’m going to box your ears.”
Julian smiled momentarily before turning from the window. He cocked a brow. “What makes you think something is bothering me, dear sister?”
Megan pulled a face and marched into the room. She placed her knuckles on her non-existent waist and frowned up at him. “I know you, Julian. I know you very well. You might as well tell me.”
“You might as well tell her,” agreed the voice from the doorway.
Julian glanced up. “Nick.” He greeted his brother-in-law and they shook hands. Then he watched in amusement as Nick assisted a very pregnant Megan onto the sofa. Trying to keep the smile from his lips, Julian sat in one of the chairs across from them.
After the tea arrived, his sister poured them each a cup, her movements hasty instead of graceful. Obviously, she wanted to continue her interrogation. “All right, Julian, what is it?” she asked as soon as he had cup in hand, confirming his suspicions. “Did something happen on the ship?”
He raised his eyes to the colorful, coffered ceiling, wondering what he should say. How much he should reveal. But when he glanced back at his sister and opened his mouth, the entire story just tumbled out of its own accord.
Megan shook her head when he finished, her amethyst eyes dazed. “So Amelia wasn’t lying when she came to you ten years ago?”
Julian set his now tepid tea aside. “Apparently not.” Remorse made his voice raspy.
“If I recall correctly, you had good reason for dismissing the girl,” Nicholas said.
He cleared his throat and nodded. “Her cousin, Diana, told me that Amelia would soon arrive on my doorstep and tell me she carried my child. She was adamant the claim was a lie, insisting Amelia’s objective was to become the next Duchess of Kenbrook.”
“Why would Amelia’s cousin do such a despicable thing?” Megan asked.
He sighed. “I don’t know.”
“Obviously, Diana was jealous of Amelia,” Nicholas answered, then continued as Julian started to frown. “I could see how hard Diana was trying to gain your attention, but you were rather absorbed in Amelia at the time,” he finished softly.
Julian knew Nick was referring to the bet with Jeremy. God, could he feel any worse?
After a moment of silence, Megan placed a hand over her rounded middle and asked, “Well, where are they now? Amelia and Alexander?”
As Julian started to answer, a knock sounded.
When Nick gave permission, the butler entered the room carrying a silver salver with a folded scrap of paper lying on the center. “A message for his lordship.”
Julian rose from his chair and took the note, anxious to have his question answered. He read the words, then read them again just to make certain his eyes were not playing tricks. “Good God,” he whispered, panic surging within him. Of all the places in and around London, this had been the last place he thought Amelia and Alex would go.
“What?” Nicholas and Megan asked in unison as they approached.
“I overheard Amelia give directions to a hackney driver just after we parted company. But all along the way here, I kept thinking there was something oddly familiar about where she was going, and every instinct told me something was wrong. So I sent out a few inquiries.” He glanced down at the note crumpled in his white-knuckled fist. “And I have my answer.”
“What is it?” Nicholas asked.
Julian lifted his head, finally able to identify the tiny tremors racing up and down his body. Terror. “I was right to be worried.” He passed the note to his friend.
Nick’s eyes widened as he read the three words scrawled clearly across the page.
“I have to go,” he gritted out, then spun on his heel.
“Wait, Julian, where are you going?” Megan called as he marched across the room.
“To find out just what in the hell is going on,” he spat over his shoulder.
“See that ash just there, Alex?” Amelia pointed to one of the trees along the dusty road as their carriage lumbered past. “When I was your age, my nanny told me that if you take a twig from an ash tree and draw a circle on the ground around a snake, it will soon starve to death.”
Surprised when she didn’t receive a response, Amelia turned to her passive son staring out the opposite window and heaved a sigh. She could feel his sadness. Alexander missed the man he could never know was his father, the man who had become his friend.
However, she was certain Alex’s attention would soon revert back to the stars and planets. In time his good humor would return.
She just wished the cursed man hadn’t given her son an invitation to visit him at his estate. Thankfully though, Lord Julian would remain in London for an entire month first, which would give her time to think of a reason Alex couldn’t go for a visit.
She hoped.
“I wish we could have stayed with the commander—I mean, Lord Julian. I must remember to call him that now that we’re no longer on the ship.”
Amelia glanced out her window and kept her eyes fixed on the hazel hedgerow they were now rattling past. She had wanted Alex to say something, but she hadn’t meant about him.
“Isn’t it amazing he is a marquess, Mama?”
“Hmmm,” she replied, watching several wrens take flight into the grey sky above. Charcoal clouds were gathering overhead and she hoped to arrive at their destination ahead of the rain likely to fall.
“I wish you were going to be the comm—Lord Julian’s governess instead of Mr. Giles’s,” Alex grumbled.
Amelia’s breath caught. The possibility that Lord Julian had married and produced children never once occurred to her. Now why did that thought bring a sharp stitch to her chest? What did it matter to her if he had a family of his own?
Oh, why did she have to see him again? She pressed a hand to her pounding heart. Why did she have to be reminded of how she had once yearned for his affection so much it hurt?
Thankfully, she was older and much, much wiser. Never again would she be so foolish as to give her love so easily to a man. Especially to a rake like Lord Julian. Yes, her heart would be forever safe, encased in a thick shell forged out of rejection and heartbreak.
“But you can’t be Lord Julian’s governess. He told me he’s not married.”
Amelia rested her throbbing forehead against the side of the coach and released her breath. She would not feel relief at Alex’s statement. No, she would not!
“How much longer, Mama?”
Amelia blinked, realizing she hadn’t even prepared for her new position. She should be using this time to consider what to teach the children instead of wasting her thoughts on that man. She turned to her son and gave him a wide smile. “Not much longer, Alex. Mr. Giles said it was just about an hour’s carriage ride north of London dock.” She leaned forward. “Are you excited to meet some children near your own age?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I suppose. How many children does Mr. Giles have?”
Amelia would not allow her smile to slip. Truly, she should have asked more questions, but once Mr. Giles had told her the position paid out forty-five guineas per year
, she could hardly think of anything else and agreed to take the job without further discussion. “I’m not certain, but we shall soon find out. Did you hear what I said earlier about the tree?”
Interest sparked in Alex’s light gray eyes. “Does drawing a circle around a snake with an ash twig really kill it?”
“Perhaps that should be our very first scientific experiment with the other children. What do you think?”
The corners of Alex’s mouth tipped up, then his smile bloomed full. “I think I am going to like that you’re a governess.”
She grinned in return. “Me, too.”
“Does the ash tree do anything else to snakes?”
“Actually, it does. The ash is supposed to provide protection against snakes. Legend says that if you place ash leaves all the way around your house, a snake will not enter. Supposedly, snakes cannot pass over a circle made with the leaves of an ash tree.”
Alex leaned forward. “We should see if there is any truth to that legend, as well. What else?”
“Well, we must be careful not to harm the tree while performing our experiments.”
The carriage slowed, but Alex didn’t seem to notice. “Why is that?”
“Damaging an ash tree is thought to bring very bad luck.”
They turned onto a drive and Amelia caught a glimpse of their new home. “Look, Alex. Look there,” she said, pointing to the large house in the distance.
He moved to the seat beside her and glanced out of the window. His eyes grew round. “We’re going to live there?” he whispered.
“Yes,” Amelia replied, her own excitement mounting. She studied the white, triple-story structure a moment, then slipped her gloves onto her shaking hands. When she had been Alex’s age, the house would have seemed insignificant compared to her father’s sprawling mansion. Now, it looked a palace.
Lord Sinister (Secrets & Scandals Book 3) Page 5
