He took her by the shoulders, gripping her tightly. “I’m not sure if you remember a word I said to you the last time we met, but mating is not a voluntary act. I didn’t choose you any more than you chose me. Fate is cruel, but there is nothing I can do. Of course, there is something you could do, if you’re really so keen to end this.”
“And what would that be?”
Smiling bitterly at the look of hope in her eyes, he took her hand and pressed a dagger into it. “You could plunge this into my heart. Once I’m dead there will be nothing to compel you back here. Fate only ever chooses one pair of mates, so you would not be bound to another member of my clan. Either that, or you could continue to put us both through misery until we either survive the next thirty days, or one of us dies from exhaustion. I’ve heard of that happening too.”
Clara’s face blanched, and he could tell by the combination of horror and fascination in her eyes that she was both repulsed by the idea of killing him for her freedom and tempted. Her eyes narrowed once more. “What do you mean, ‘put us both through misery?’ You don’t look like someone who has been tortured in the last few days.”
“If you’d seen me about ten minutes ago, you’d disagree. Being in close proximity to each other reverses the effects. Didn’t you notice your energy increasing the closer you got to this place?”
Clara’s eyes widened. “I… I thought that was just because I was so angry.”
“You were. In fact, you still are. But I doubt you would have been able to fuel that level of anger without that renewed sense of energy. The fact is, Clara, you and I need to be together if we want to survive. Now, why don’t you put the dagger down so we can go talk?”
Blinking, Clara looked around to see a large gathering of people watching them. A blush suffused her cheeks with vivid color, and she ducked her head. “Fine.”
Chuckling a little at her sudden change of demeanor, he held out her hand, then took it when she placed it in his own and led her to his cabin. The crowd parted for them, and he made certain to hold the eyes of anyone who sent a hostile look toward Clara. As the Epsilon, only four other pack members were higher in rank than he, and it would not look good at all if he didn’t make it clear that Clara was his, and not to be touched. He could afford no show of weakness, either for himself or for Clara’s safety.
Shutting the cabin door behind her, he crossed the room and sat down in the wooden chair. He noticed Clara’s hesitation, and couldn’t help but smile.
“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe for you to sit on the bed. I’m not going to tie you to it again.”
Clara glared at him. “Of course you weren’t. I wasn’t thinking about that.”
Kellan laughed as she sat down on the bed. “Yes you were. I can tell when you’re lying remember.”
She folded her arms. “That isn’t a point in your favor if you want me to stay with you.”
He sobered. “It isn’t a part of my nature I can change.”
Sighing, she stretched her legs out and crossed them at the ankles. “Didn’t you say something about thirty days?”
“If you can outlast the call for thirty days, it’s true that the bond will be broken and we will be free of each other. But the call strengthens with each passing day, making it harder and harder to resist, and I’ve never heard of a single case where the strain hasn’t killed at least one of the two who were fated.”
She frowned. “But you did say that when we are in close proximity the symptoms disappear, did you not?”
It was Kellan’s turn to sigh. “I did. But I’m no expert on mating, and I can’t say whether or not it will continue to be the same or how long the relief lasts. It could be that seeing each other for a short time every day will enable us to get a good night’s sleep, but maybe only for the next week. As I said, the call strengthens, and there’s truly no way to know. The whole point is to force us together, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Yes, I do believe I did notice that,” Clara said dryly. “But really, what is the harm in trying? If we can do this successfully, we will be free of each other. You made it obvious to me the last time that you were not interested in being mated to a human, so I don’t know why you would object.”
Kellan hesitated, not certain whether or not he should tell her. But in the end, he thought she should know what her actions would do to him. “As I said earlier, the fates only mate us once. Should we outlast the bond and go our separate ways, I will forever lose the opportunity to have a family of my own.”
Clara stilled, and for the first time her face softened in compassion. “You cannot have children with anyone other than your mate?”
He shook his head. “It is nature’s way of ensuring that our offspring are born with as many advantages as possible for survival. We are mated to the one who is biologically compatible for that purpose.”
A knock at the door interrupted them before Clara could respond, and she stiffened.
“Come in,” Kellan called, standing.
Charles stepped inside, his blue eyes sweeping the room and then landing on Clara. “I’d heard that you’d arrived,” he said with a smile. “I am surprised you resisted the call for so long.”
Clara straightened her back, but remained seated, and Kellan held back a smile—she was being deliberately defiant. “I am still resisting.”
Charles arched a brow. “I see.” His lips twitched as he spoke. “I came in because I am trying to understand why it is you came back, if not to complete the mating.”
“She came to find relief, Charles,” Kellan interjected, drawing the Alpha’s attention to him. “She’s been feeling the effects of the mating, and wanted to know what it was all about and if there was anyway I could do anything to stop it.”
Charles chuckled. “That would be like trying to stop the sun from rising.”
“I have every reason to resist,” Clara interrupted. Her eyes swirled with anger, annoyed at just how nonchalant he was about such a life-changing decision. “You are asking me to give up everything that I have left, and trust me, while it isn’t much, to abandon it in order to become part of your clan… I just —“
Kellan reached out and laid his hand on her shoulder. “We understand what we are asking of you, Clara. We know it can’t be easy.”
Clara forced a smile, though her belly heaved in waves at the realization that she was holding onto a life that had already been torn away from her. With her parents dead, her aunt was all that she had left, and while Clara did her best to help her, she still couldn’t help but feel as though she were nothing more than a burden. Yet, this clan – they wanted her—needed her to join them, yet she found herself resisting. For what reason, she couldn’t say.
“I don’t even know you,” she whispered, without thought. Her eyes remained locked on the wooden floor of the cabin. “We should get to know one another.” She forced herself to look up at Kellan, only to find his eyes dripping with sympathy. His lips were pursed tightly, as if he had to force himself not to speak his mind. Clara wished it were her that could read his thoughts—especially now.
“Yes, we should,” Kellan finally replied with a smile.
Clara finally stood. “From the look on your Alpha’s face, I gather he would like a word with you, so I’ll leave you now and return tomorrow. We’ll talk...”
Kellan watched, bemused, as she left their company. Women. He would never understand them, and human females especially were unfathomable as their customs and ways of life were different than what he had grown up with. She was probably right about the idea that they needed to get to know each other—she was likely going to be unfamiliar with his way of life as well.
“What sort of game are you playing, Kellan?”
Kellan turned to look at his Alpha, who was scowling at him. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t understand why you are indulging her whim. You know that during the remainder of your thirty-eight days that until you complete the mating cycle you will
be vulnerable.”
Kellan ran his fingers through his hair; once more bemoaning the fact that fate had picked a human mate for him. If it had been a woman from his clan, they would have already completed the cycle, and likely he would be expecting his first child. The longer a pair waited to mate, the weaker they became from the effort of resisting the call, and the more open to attack they left themselves—hence why if he had been given a woman from his clan there would have been no wait.
“Clara doesn’t understand the implications, and I don’t want to force her. She needs a few days to get used to the idea, to get to know me, to familiarize herself with the clan and our ways.”
“All of those things can be done after you’ve completed the mating cycle and the two of you are no longer in danger.”
“She is holding onto the belief that she might be able to hold out long enough to break the cycle, in which case she will be free of me.”
“What?” Charles threw his hands up in the air. “This is madness! I’m going to get her right now.”
Kellan grabbed onto the Alpha’s shoulder, stopping him, a move that under any other circumstances would have brought down a severe set down. But they were in private, and this was his mate they were talking about. “No.”
Charles whirled around, his pupils contracted and a snarl curling his lip. “You do not give me orders, Epsilon.”
Kellan lowered his head in deference to the Alpha, not wanting to cause an all-out brawl, but did not take his eyes off him. “Please, Charles. It is my life to gamble with, and she is my mate. If giving her a few of my days to get her used to the idea is enough to win her over without force, then I have the right to do it.”
Charles sighed. “I just don’t want to lose one of my best men because of this. I know from first-hand experience just how destructive women can be once they have you wrapped around their fingers. And you haven’t won her heart.”
Kellan smiled grimly. “Not yet, but I will.”
Chapter Six
Clara had been fretting all day over how she was going to slip into the woods to meet with Kellan without alerting her aunt, but she needn’t have worried. Eve had complained of a headache and went to take a rest, and Clara had quickly finished up the chores and slipped outside without waking her.
When she’d come home yesterday from her meeting with Kellan, her aunt had commented about how well she looked, and whether or not she’d taken some sort of potion or elixir to restore the healthy glow to her face. Clara had assured her she had not, and that it was the walk, which had done her the good, but since she still looked healthy enough, she wouldn’t be able to use that excuse to go walk in the woods again today.
For once she had actually slept through the night, though she had still dreamed of Kellan. Rather than being lost in the maze, though, she had dreamt that she was his mate and living with him in the hidden village. It had been an odd dream, mainly because she’d felt like a completely different person. Rather than outcast and alienated, she’d felt safe, protected, and part of a community that genuinely liked and respected her. She was friends with the women, cordial with the men, and had Kellan as her mate for comfort and support.
The thing that had really shocked her was the strong flutter she had felt in her belly during the dream—she’d been pregnant. Expecting a child. Even now, walking through the fields, she pressed a hand to her belly expecting to feel them again—they’d seemed so real. But there was nothing there, just her flat abdomen, and that knowledge filled her with a desolation she didn’t understand.
She hadn’t realized how much she’d wanted children until that moment. Now that she did she understood how Kellan must feel about her indecision, knowing that if they somehow did make it through the month and break off the bond, that she would be taking away his chance for a family.
Could she really do that to him? Could she really doom him to a life without children?
“Clara!” Lucas’s voice called, and she stopped, her entire body freezing. She’d completely forgotten about him. Turning, she saw him jogging through the grass toward her, dressed in a pair of trousers with suspenders and a white cotton shirt. His customary straw hat was missing so that his shaggy blond hair gleamed in the sunlight, and her heart sank. How had she allowed her thoughts about Kellan to consume her so utterly that she’d discounted him?
“Hi, Lucas.” She forced a smile.
“I came by yesterday afternoon to find out that you weren’t feeling well and not up to taking visitors. Now today, you’re looking just fine. I’m so glad to see that you’re well.” He grinned, but she saw the glimmer of hurt in his eyes. “I was wondering if I’d scared you off.”
Clara wondered why her aunt had told him she was in bed rather than out, but decided that was something she could worry about later. “You could never scare me off,” she told him, placing a soothing hand on his arm.
“Well, that’s always good to hear.” Lucas grinned again. “I was worried that maybe I had said something to offend you.”
Clara shook her head, smiling. “Never.”
“Well, since I’ve caught you now, are you feeling up for a ride?” Lucas asked.
Clara contained a sigh, unbelievably conflicted. She had promised Kellan she would come to see him today, but she didn’t want to hurt Lucas or make him feel rejected, especially when he had been obviously on the lookout for her. Besides, horseback riding did seem quite a bit more appealing than going back to the shifter village. A shudder ran through her as she remembered leaving yesterday—she’d held her head high amid the stares and whispers even though her body wanted to cower and curl up to get away from them. Even though Kellan had assured her safety, they still made her incredibly nervous. After all, they were predators.
“Clara?”
Snapping herself out of it, she gave him a dazzling smile. “Yes…yes. I’d love to, Lucas.”
* * *
Creeping through the forest, they used no torches, no candles, blending with the darkness in order to become one with the night. Though they were silent, the night was not, and he gritted his teeth at the sound of howls pealing through the air—the beasts were out, and as usual, they wanted blood.
He knew they were not normal creatures, though regular wolves were bad enough—they picked off sheep from the nearby flocks and caused general mayhem. But these were something more—the uncanny intelligence in their eyes and the way they communicated were proof of that. Not to mention the one night he’d been alone, simply enjoying a walk, and he’d watched from the cover of the bushes as one had changed into a man right before his eyes.
No, these creatures were not protected by God. They were just another spawn of the Devil, and as such they needed to be destroyed.
Of course, when wearing the skin of wolves they traveled in packs, which made it difficult. Their keen noses could scent an enemy or prey from afar, and they had to be very careful that they stayed downwind. And though they picked off the demons using long-range weapons, they often found that precaution to be not enough as the wolves were fast, much faster than humans.
Not a sound, he mouthed to his fellow hunters as they got into position at the edge of a clearing. Sure enough, the demon-wolves were right on schedule, singing their terrible song of death as they emerged out into the open. Smiling tightly, he readied his crossbow, and soon the air filled with his preferred brand of music—the sound of bolts and arrows singing through the air, and the death howls that followed.
They felled several of the wolves before the beasts caught onto their position and charged. Cursing, he and his men switched to close quarter weapons, but rather than staying to fight they turned and ran, knowing they would at least have a bit of a head start. Heart racing, he zigzagged through the trees as he and his men had practiced—it forced the wolves to go slower and gave them a better chance at escaping the edge of the trees unharmed. The wolves never came out of the woods, so they would be safe.
A root snagged on his boot and he went down, h
is face smashing into the unforgiving ground. Cursing, he struggled to his feet, then howled with pain as one of the wolves sank his teeth into his leg. The wolf pulled hard, and he would have gone down again if he hadn’t the foresight to grab one of the thick branches on a nearby tree. Snarling, he lashed out with his knife, embedding it deeply into the wolf’s shoulder, who was forced to release him as he howled with pain.
“Come on!” one of his fellow hunters hissed, grabbing him and continuing to pull him through the woods.
* * *
The next day, after her aunt retired for another afternoon nap, Clara headed out to find Kellan. She found herself moving quickly across the field, her eyes darting about almost guiltily as she watched for any sign of Lucas. He hadn’t appeared, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
Yesterday’s ride had been fun, but the experience had been marred by the kernel of guilt constantly brushing up against her consciousness, like a pebble in her shoe she so desperately wanted to remove, but couldn’t. She’d been frustrated with herself because she knew that unless she wanted to lead Lucas to their secret village, she needed to stay with him, but apparently her emotions didn’t agree with her logic.
Last night she’d had no dreams that she could remember, but had bolted up from her bed with her heart in her throat and sweat breaking out over her forehead in a panic. She felt as though something had gone terribly wrong, and when she had listened to the howls and heard the pain and fear in them, knew that something bad had happened out there. She’d been of half a mind to throw caution to the wind and head into the forest then and there, but she knew doing such a thing would be both foolish and dangerous, and had forced herself to wait until morning.
She navigated the maze swiftly this time, as though she’d been doing it for years even though this was really only her third time. When she emerged in front of the village entrance, it was to find the village almost deathly silent, with a heavy pall hanging over the air. The two guards standing by wore grim expressions, and her heart sunk into her shoes.
Happily Ever Alpha Page 5
