Kellan stepped in front of her and pulled her to her feet with a grin. “You can’t be sitting here moping around while everyone is dancing,” he told her as he led her into a lively step.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Clara told him with a smile. The dance was unfamiliar, but it didn’t take her very long to pick up on it. Soon she was jumping and whirling with the best of them, roses in her cheeks as her eyes sparkled with laughter.
She took Kellan’s hands in hers as the song changed to one not quite as fast. “I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun!” she confessed. “The women of your village are not nearly as frightening as I thought.”
Kellan arched a brow. “Is that so?”
Clara smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You and Leah have taught me that just because we are different, doesn’t mean we are nothing alike.” Her face softened. “I’m sorry it took me such a long time to see that.”
Kellan grinned, then leaned in and gave her a long, deep kiss that left her breathless.
* * *
A few days later, Clara was bustling around the cottage getting some last minute things done when there was an urgent knock at the door. Her heart jumping in her chest, she rushed to the door and opened it to see Brian, Lucas’s brother, standing in the doorway, cradling her aunt in his burly arms.
“Oh God,” Clara whispered, stepping back to let them in. Her aunt’s eyes were closed, her face ashen, and it looked as though she was barely breathing. “What happened to her?”
Lucas followed in behind him, his brows drawn together with concern. “We don’t know. She seemed fine one moment, and the next she just collapsed. The doctor is about an hour away, and we thought it might be a good idea for her to be home, in her own surroundings while we wait for him.”
“Of course.” Clara found that she was wringing her hands, and forced herself to stop—she needed to be strong. “Let’s get her settled.”
She led them down the hall to her aunt’s room, where she was placed on the full sized bed. Clara touched her hand, which was icy, and then pulled back the flowery bedspread and covered her with it. “We need to find more blankets for her,” she told the men. “She’s far too cold.”
They heaped her with blankets from the linen closet, and Clara found a bed warmer hanging near the hearth to use. They hadn’t made use of the fireplace yet as she’d arrived at the tail end of summer, and Clara had never learned how to light one, so she asked the men for help. Lucas went out to the side to grab the wood, and between the two of them they soon had a decent fire going. It took awhile, but they were able to scrape enough embers from the heart to fill the warming pan, and they slipped it between her aunt’s blankets.
Her aunt began shaking almost immediately, her teeth chattering with cold. Alarmed, Clara took her hand and held it close to her body, murmuring words of comfort. “It’s alright, auntie. I’m here.”
Eventually the shakes died down, and her aunt slipped into a peaceful sleep. Clara refused to leave her side, and the men stayed with her, watching over her solemnly. It felt as though they were sitting by someone’s deathbed, and Clara had to fight back the tears—she refused to believe that her aunt was dying.
But when the doctor arrived and did his examination, he told them the prognosis wasn’t good. “If she’d come to me even a week earlier, there might’ve been something I could do for her,” he told them. “But as it stands now, she’s fading fast. The best thing to do for her right now is to make her comfortable.”
Clara wanted to scream, to rage against the doctor and tell him it wasn’t true; that he was lying, that her aunt would get better. But she knew he was just trying to do his job, and so choked down the words and thanked him. He gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, gave her a list of instructions, and told her he would come to check on her daily.
Brian told her he needed to get back to the farm, and bade her farewell as well. But Lucas stayed behind, and they simply sat by her aunt’s bedside for a long while, watching her sleep.
“Clara,” Lucas said eventually, “I think it might be good for you to get some air.”
Clara shook her head. “I can’t leave her,” she said in a voice choked with tears. “After everything she’s done for me, I can’t leave her side.”
Lucas came over and gently put his hands on Clara’s shoulders. “You’re breaking down,” he told her, “and you won’t be of any use to her that way. We don’t need to go far, but I think that if you just came outside and cleared your head, you’d feel a bit better.”
Clara started to dig her heels into the ground as Lucas pulled her from the chair, but in the end she relented—she didn’t have the will to fight him. She allowed him to put an arm around her and lead her out to the front porch. The crisp fall air, sweetened with sunshine and grass, came to tease her nose, but rather than lifting her spirits it only sank them further. How could it be that it was such a beautiful day outside, while her aunt lay within, dying?
“It’s all my fault,” she said brokenly, allowing her legs to fold beneath her so that she landed on the bench with a thump.
“Clara, you couldn’t have known—” Lucas began.
“But I did!” she shouted, whirling to face him with sparking eyes and hot bursts of color in her cheeks. “I’ve noticed these past few weeks that she’s been paler and less energetic. She’s been taking a lot of naps and not looking like herself, but I’ve been so preoccupied with… with…” Clara bit off the words before she confessed the truth to Lucas; much as she wanted to get it off her chest she couldn’t betray the shifter clan like that. “I’ve been so blind and selfish. I should have made her go see the doctor when she refused. I should have put my foot down and told her not to spend so much time running herself ragged. The stress took too much of a toll on her.”
Lucas wrapped his arms around Clara and pulled her close. She hit his chest, fighting, but he simple tightened his hold and stroked her hair. “Clara,” he whispered as she dissolved into violent, heart-wrenching tears. “It’s alright. Let it all out.”
She cried for a long time, fisting her hands in his shirt as she soaked it with tears. If he noticed or was uncomfortable about it, he didn’t say so; just rubbed her back soothingly and rocked her. Eventually her eyes went dry and she was left with a raw emptiness she wasn’t certain was much better. But, she did feel a bit lighter, a bit steadier.
Pulling back, she mopped her face with her hand. “I’m sorry,” she told him. “I’ve put you in an awkward position, and treated you terribly.” The smile she gave him was watery. “I seem to have a knack for that.”
“I’ve never yet ended up in a place that I haven’t been put there by myself,” Lucas said, brushing away stray tears from the corners of her eyes with his thumbs. “And as for right now, I’m exactly where I want to be.”
He leaned down and laid his lips against hers, and Clara froze. But it was a soft, sweet, gentle kiss, made for comfort rather than passion, and she was so desperate for comfort that she leaned in without thinking about it. He smelled of hay and sunshine and stale sweat from when he’d been working in the fields, and his embrace was warm and comforting—like Kellan.
Kellan. The name was like a cold splash of water dumped onto her head, and she reared back in shock. Oh God. How could she be sitting here, kissing Lucas, when Kellan had just kissed her the day before? Was she really that kind of woman who juggled two men?
“Clara?” Lucas asked, his brow wrinkled in confusion. “What—”
He reached for her and she scrambled back hastily. Hurt flashed in his blue eyes and guilt slapped her across the face. “I—I’m sorry,” she said shakily, smoothing her skirts down. “I just can’t do this.”
“Clara, it’s alright. You don’t have to—”
She shook her head. “Please. I just need to be alone right now.” Trembling, she pressed her fingers to her lips. “I’m sorry.”
She ran into the house.
Chapter Nine
<
br /> Clara spent the night by her aunt’s bedside, listening to the wolf howls outside the bedroom window. She knew that between the mating call and her aunt’s condition there would be no sleeping tonight. A headache throbbed directly behind her forehead, and neither the tea she sipped nor the palm pressed against her temples helped very much.
Why had she reacted so strongly against Lucas? Now that she was removed from the situation, she didn’t quite understand it. Certainly she’d spent a lot of time with Kellan and had kissed and touched him, but she hadn’t made a clear decision in her heart between either of them. Why shouldn’t she be allowed to kiss Lucas as well? How was she supposed to make a decision between the two if she wasn’t even willing to give Lucas a chance?
Was it the mating bond that pulled her away from him? Or had her heart already decided? She wasn’t certain, but she did know the guilt had been overwhelming. It didn’t seem fair to Lucas, since she was spending so much time with him, to treat him this way. And yet she hadn’t been able to help it.
She agonized over a flurry of thoughts until the sun rose, and then went out with a heavy heart to do the morning chores. Trenching herself in the familiarity of routine, she made breakfast for two, but picked listlessly at it as she wasn’t very hungry, and knew her aunt really wasn’t going to be in any shape to eat. In the end she tossed the eggs into the pigpen and the bacon into the chicken coop, too tired to really appreciate the irony.
The doctor came by to check on her aunt, who hadn’t moved from her sleep. He said that she appeared to be stable, but couldn’t give an estimate as to how long she had or when she would wake up, if ever. The Bennets stopped in to visit her, as did the Rivers’, though Lucas was conspicuously absent. When she asked Amelia about him, she’d simply gotten a shake of the head and been told that he seemed to be in deep thought, and told them to go without him. Amelia then asked if she could have a private word with Clara, who reluctantly relented, knowing that with so many people crowded around her aunt’s bed, there was really no excuse to stay by her side.
“If it were any other woman,” Amelia began as they walked through the tall grass, “I wouldn’t have thought much of Lucas’s behavior this morning. But I’ve never known Lucas to pass up an opportunity to spend time with you, and I’m concerned. I know that he was here yesterday when he and Brian brought your aunt home. Did something happen?”
“I—” Clara shook her head, the words caught in her throat. She didn’t really want to tell Amelia about what had happened yesterday, but didn’t really see any way to avoid it. “He kissed me.”
There was a long silence. “I see.”
Clara sighed. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“What went wrong?”
“I just… I don’t know. One moment I was kissing him back, and the next I was pushing him away.” The guilt settled onto her chest again, but instead of feeling guilty for kissing Lucas, she was now feeling guilty for the way she’d treated him. “I… I have feelings for someone else.”
Amelia’s eyebrows shot up. “Someone else? Who on earth could you have met? All the men around here know that Lucas has his sights set on you, and wouldn’t dare interfere.”
“It’s complicated, and he isn’t anyone you know. I don’t see him very often.” Clara grabbed Amelia’s hand. “I haven’t been trying to play your brother along, Amelia. I really do care about him a lot, and I’ve been thinking about our relationship. A part of me wants to take the next step with him. But another part of me is drawn to this other man, and I can’t seem to do anything about it.” Clara buried her face in her hands. “I don’t know what to do with myself.”
Amelia sighed, placing her arm around Clara’s shoulder. “As Lucas’s sister, I obviously want what’s best for him, but I know how difficult it can be in your position.” Clara looked up to see Amelia gazing at her sympathetically. “I will say that you have to make up your mind soon. It’s dangerous to leave two men dangling like that. Someone is bound to get hurt.”
“I know.” Clara bit her lip. “Could you… could you please not mention this to Lucas? I promise I will tell him, and that I won’t make him wait. But I need to focus on my aunt right now.”
Amelia nodded. “I can do that. Just… be careful. I don’t want my brother to be hurt.”
Clara gave her a small smile. “I don’t want that either.”
* * *
Clara was sitting in the wooden chair by her aunt’s bedside when she heard a knock at the door. Her head jerked up sharply and she rose, her heart rate tripling. Who on earth could be calling at this hour? Should she even answer the door? What if it was a bandit, or a robber, come to steal their valuables?
Don’t be daft, a voice in her head chided. There are no bandits around here. It could be someone in trouble.
Even so, she grabbed a poker and inched toward the door, trying not to tremble. Her hand slowly curled around the knob, and, steeling herself, she pulled it open to see who it was.
“Kellan!” she exclaimed as he swept her up into his arms. His strong arms cradled her tenderly as he stepped inside and kicked the door closed behind him, and she couldn’t help but inhale his scent greedily.
“I missed you,” he growled into her ear. “The last night was hell for me, and when you didn’t show up today I decided I couldn’t wait.” He held her for a long moment, burying his nose in her hair, and the relief washing over Clara made her giddy.
Eventually, he set her down, but kept his arms wrapped around her. “What’s happened?” he asked, looking around in the dark. “I could feel your distress, but you seem to be okay.”
Clara frowned. “You can feel my emotions?”
He nodded. “Not at first, but as the connection has strengthened, yes, sometimes. You probably can’t yet because you’re a human, but in time you’ll be able to.”
“I’m not sure that I’d want to,” she remarked.
He squeezed her gently. “You’ll get used to it eventually.”
“My aunt is ill,” she murmured against his chest. “She’s not been well for the last few weeks, but two days ago she fainted and fell into a deep sleep. The doctor says she doesn’t have much time left.”
“Oh, Clara.” Kellan smoothed her hair. “I’m so sorry.”
Tears gathered in her throat. “I couldn’t bring myself to leave her side.”
“Of course not,” he soothed. “And I wouldn’t expect you to.”
“I just wish there was something I could do,” Clara said bitterly. “Instead, all I can do is sit by her side and watch as she dies.”
Kellan picked her up, his broad frame cradling her easily in his strong arms. “There now,” he murmured, walking down the hall, Clara’s arms wrapped tightly around his neck, breathing him in. “You’ve had a rough few days.” He kissed the top of her head softly, brushing her hair away from her face. “You need to rest.”
Kellan shifted her weight so he could open the door, then deposited her gently onto the bed.
“How did you know this was my room?” she asked as he wedged himself onto the bed with her.
“Your scent is strong in here,” he told her, drawing her into his arms. “Now, sleep.”
Her eyes drifted shut, as though the command was some magic spell, and she gladly gave herself over to the darkness, comforted by the fact that Kellan was with her.
* * *
When she opened her eyes he was watching her, his green eyes soft and heavy-lidded, a small smile curving his lips. The smile widened as she blinked up at him.
“Didn’t you sleep last night?”
He nodded. “I just don’t need to sleep as much as you do,” he teased, pressing a finger lightly against her nose. “How did you sleep?”
Clara yawned, lifting her arms above her head in a stretch. “Better than I have in a long time,” she said, somewhat surprised. “Even on the days when I did come to see you.”
He brushed a strand of hair from her face. “We are close,” he reminded
her. “That eases the strain.” He pressed a kiss to her nose. “You look much better than you did last night.”
He kissed her, and Clara melted against him with a sigh. Desire curled in her belly, and she was neither ashamed nor guilty about it, as she had been about kissing Lucas. Kellan’s arms tightened around her as he growled, his hands roaming up and down her back as he tasted her. Tingles ran up and down her body, leaving her breathless and aching.
But the reminder of her aunt’s condition loomed over her head, forcing her to push him back. “I can’t do this right now, Kellan.”
He pulled back and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I know. Let’s go check on your aunt.”
* * *
Eve was still sleeping. Though her chest rose and fell with even movements, her features were drawn tight as though she were in pain. Clara sank into the wooden chair next to the bed, her heart hurting. She’d always thought of her aunt as a strong woman, and to see her like this now…
“Please,” she said, taking her aunt’s hand with both her own, “Don’t give up. You can overcome this illness. You can get better.” Her voice trembled as she pleaded with her aunt for her life, and she blinked back tears.
Kellan surprised Clara by laying one of his large hands over her aunt’s as well. “It’s been a long time,” he murmured. “It’s likely you don’t even remember me.”
Clara jerked her head up. “What? What do you mean?”
Kellan flinched, as though he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Clara—”
“Yes… I do… remember you…young man.”
They both turned their heads sharply to see Eve’s eyes open. They were heavy lidded, as though it were a struggle to keep them that way, and a pale cloudy blue instead of the bright, intense color Clara was accustomed to, but they were open.
“You… look quite a bit older… than you did when I last saw you,” Eve half-whispered so that Clara had to lean in to hear her. “But… your eyes… they’re still the same. Full of life and…. intensity. I am glad you grew up… to become… a strong man.”
Happily Ever Alpha Page 10
