by Gabrielle G.
As I enter the barn, I stop right in my tracks, hearing Barn moaning and calling someone sugar. I’m not the jealous type, but there is no way I’ll let him fuck someone here when I was clear he shouldn’t fuck someone else in the house while we were fake-together. I don’t even have time to realize what I’m doing before I’m already upstairs, ready to barge into his room to stop whatever is going on and drag the other woman outside by her hair. His door is ajar, not even closed. Alexis could have come home before me from his mother’s and seen it all. I can clearly hear the noise of skin to skin going at it. I push the door, ready to pounce but am mesmerized by the view in front of me. Barnabas is beautifully naked in the middle of his bed, his head tilted back, fingers interlocked, both of his hands clasped around his dick, masturbating. The unhurried movement of his hips would make for a very slow fuck.
I keep my eyes on his self-adulation and plunge my hand in my pants to release some of the pressure I feel raging inside of me. Every time his hands go up, it reveals one of his piercings, and as I remember the feeling of them entering me, I clench. His muscular body undulating under pleasure, and his moans filling up the room have me losing my mind. Desire drenches my underwear, my breathing becomes erratic, and I’m about to come. Trying to compose myself to exit his bedroom, I slowly remove my hands, dragging my wetness around my clit to send a jolt of pleasure up my spine.
“Avery, fuck, suck me, sugar,” Barnabas grunts, still oblivious to my presence.
He moves one of his hands, cups his tip, and starts rubbing his head while the other one still strokes his shaft. It’s the most erotic thing I have ever seen. I hold the door so as not to lunge at his dick and answer his wish by engulfing him in my mouth. Hearing him call my name though has me throbbing against the seam of my pants, my nipples get hard, and a squeak of desire leaves my mouth. Having a man masturbating in front of you while he’s imagining you sucking him off is hot. When Barnabas opens his eyes and continues pleasing himself while his gaze falls onto mine, his dick gets even bigger, and I crave for it to fill me. I bite my lip, seeing the request for me to join him in his eyes, but step away before it ends up with me on all fours. I close the door behind me and run to Bella and Ridge’s to pick up my daughter, relieved I didn’t succumb to him.
Alexis has been a good buffer all afternoon. Barnabas took care of her while I was working, and then I busied myself giving her a bath while Barnabas made supper. We haven’t uttered a word to each other, and I really don’t mind. I’m still hot and bothered by the picture of him on his bed, I’ve planned to ignore him now that Alexis is in bed and to dive into work so I won’t have to deal with my screaming vagina. Barn is watching hockey on TV, ignoring me, but there is a certain tension between us. Every minute feels like an eternity, and remorse eats at me for having barged into his bedroom. I know that for him to agree to be around when Noah comes, I need to apologize. Getting up from the kitchen table, I grab two beers and a pack of chips and plop myself on the sofa next to him.
“I’m sorry for walking in on you and,” I wince, “for watching you masturbate,” I mumble, handing him the beer. He takes it from my hand, making an extra-effort to brush his fingers against mine and turn his head to look at me. I take a sip of my beer in the most unladylike way I can, conscious he’s looking at me putting my lips around the neck of the bottle.
“I’m sorry that beer bottle isn’t my dick,” he says nonchalantly. I choke and spit everywhere, the tension between us turns slightly less awkward but my desire still consumes me.
“I went to see Dex today about the custody.” Barn takes the remotes and switches the TV off, giving me all of his attention by turning his body toward me and sitting cross-legged.
“And?”
“And he thinks it would be a good idea to have Noah and his wife here to meet Alexis, but it would be better if I had someone with me as well.” I stop, hoping he will fill in the blanks, but all he does is smile, waiting for me to spill my beans.
“Wouldyoupleasebethereforme?” I murmur as fast as I can.
“Sorry, darling, what was that?” He huffs his chest and smirks.
“Would you please be there for me?” I mumble. He lifts an eyebrow.
“Hmm, still didn’t get that. Can you articulate?”
“Please, would you be there for me when they come?” I enunciate as if I was speaking to someone who couldn’t understand English.
“I’m sorry, I’m…” he teases. I push him away and flip him the bird.
“Go fuck yourself, Barn.” I laugh, the tension of the day totally disappearing now.
“Why, you want to watch?” His eyes fall on my lips, my breasts, my pussy. “Did you like watching me so much that you wished I were an octopus?”
“An octopus? Because you think I would like you to touch me with your eight tentacles?”
“No, you wish I could rip off my dick and throw it to you so you can fuck yourself whenever you would like. Am I right, Ave?” I gulp. After what I saw today and experienced the other night, I wouldn’t be against it, but I’d die before admitting it to him. If his ego gets any bigger, I’m not sure his back wouldn’t collapse by the weight of his head.
“Bad news, darling,” he adds. “If I cut off my dick, no other will grow, and I’m really fond of him! So, if you want the dick, you need to accept the man attached to it.” He grins while I get wet in my panties again.
“You’re ridiculous!” I scoff.
“Maybe, but at least, I ain’t any octopus...”
“That you’re not, they’re one of the most intelligent animals on Earth, and you’re as bright as a koala.”
“All I hear is that you want my dick and you find me cute...”
“I never said that…”
“Find one person who would tell you koalas aren’t adorable?” He smiles smugly.
I grunt. He got me there. “That’s what I thought. Now stop bothering me, let me watch hockey, and don’t think too much about my dick. Your arousal is showing...” He points at my crotch and sniffs a few times.
“You drive me crazy, Barn. I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you, and you just get all asshole-ish on me, I don’t even know why.” That’s not true, I know why. He’s doing it because he knows I want him to fuck me, and he knows I would hate myself afterward. He does as I asked, being an asshole for me to despise him. It used to work. I used to be able to hate him, to ignore him, to never think of him sexually. It’s only been three days since I had him inside me, and he’s totally right to be an asshole to me because I want to fuck him hard.
“Ave, go to bed.” His voice is lower and commanding, and it doesn’t help in any way.
“I need to finish this,” I say, pointing at my computer on the table behind us.
“Ave, the only place you’re safe right now is in bed with Lex. I can’t stop thinking about your eyes when they were watching me jerk off, or your face when I made you come just by touching your tits, and I can smell how wet you are. So, if you don’t want me to take you from behind and bury myself inside you. Go. To. Bed,” he says without looking at me. I stand quickly, abandoning everything behind me and run up the stairs to be sure I don’t get tempted by the sex beast I know he is.
“Would you be there though?” I ask him once I’m upstairs.
“Of course, sugar, I’ll do anything for Lex,” he says. And my heart swells because I know that by calling me sugar, it means he’s not doing it only for Lex.
16
Barnabas
“Alexis is asking for you,” Avery says, coming down the stairs. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can tell her that you’re busy.” But I’m already on the first step, coming up to say goodnight. When I pass by her, I brush my body against hers and bring my mouth to her ear.
“I’ll be back. Get comfortable,” I whisper sensually. She shivers, and I laugh, continuing on my way to see my girl. I’ve been teasing Ave all week.
Seeing her bothered and mad is a game
I want to continue playing, and maybe I want to fuck her the way I like it. I can’t stop imagining her lying on the bed, wax dripping all over her, clothespins on her, on all fours. I lose sleep because of it. I tried to go out, that way I wouldn’t be around her at night, but I learned fast that once I’m not being entertained by a woman, I’m bored out of my mind in this town. So, I went home and spent the week with my girl Lex and her temptress of a mother. I played the asshole, complained at every freaking animal documentary we watched, tied and untied my hair a ridiculous number of times, and jerked off more than usual to be sure I don’t fuck Avery against a wall, on the kitchen table, or on that damned couch we should burn. I did learn some stuff, though, watching TV with Ave. I never thought I could get hard watching kangaroos going at it, and it’s not what got me, I’m not a sick fuck who gets his high with bestiality, but that night, Avery was wearing a thin tank top and pajama bottoms, and she was damn sexy. But when she put on her glasses because her contacts were bothering her, I couldn’t focus enough on the sexual life of the Australian fauna. If that’s what it is to be intimate with a woman, sign me up. Seeing her put her luscious lips around a beer bottle, lick a spoon of Nutella, readjust a strap on her shoulder, tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, I feel I’m in a modern Jane Austen tale. If she shows me one of her knees, not even both, I might come in my pants. No wonder our ancestors had rough hands; they were batting their dicks like monkeys to survive the physical tensions of those days.
“Your Highness summoned me?” I make a grand entrance, opening my arms wide and bowing in front of the child. She drew hundreds of pictures of her and me last weekend because I wasn’t around, and she was missing me. I missed her too. She hides her face with her tiny hands, giggles at my antics, and my heart goes off like fireworks. She’s so freaking cute, I almost wished she were mine. Almost, because she has a father, and she’s not mine to love. Not like a father anyway. For that, I should be with her mother, and that’s too complicated. She pats the side of the bed next to her to beckon me to her side. She looks like my mother all of a sudden, and I make a mental note to thank Mom for all she does for Ave and Lex. As I jump over Lex to take the spot she wants me to lie on, she squeals in delight.
“Don’t excite her before bed, Barn!” Avery screams from downstairs. I mimic her and Lex giggles more. Bringing my fingers to my lips, I tell her to shush it.
“I’m going to get in trouble because of you, baby girl.” She tries to wink but still can’t do it correctly and hides her mouth to silently giggle.
“Why are you not sleeping, rascal?” I ask, lying on my side next to Lex and propping myself on one elbow.
“I’m scared for tomorrow.” Her face falls in all seriousness, and all of a sudden, she looks so much like Avery. I wish Lex looked more like her mom when she giggles and laughs, but Avery doesn’t smile enough for me to see it.
“Is it tomorrow that aliens are invading us?” I smile. But Lex doesn’t take my joke, and her bottom lip starts to tremble while her eyes fall on her hands.
“Hey, baby girl, look at me.” Her beautiful eyes are so sad, the fireworks in my heart dies because of all her sadness. I want to hold the sun still and shine it on her. I never want to see her so miserable ever again.
“What’s tomorrow?”
“Mommy said I have to spend time with my daddy.” My heart is a poor mouse that the cat is playing with. Swipe, toss, claw, drop on the floor, and repeat.
“Well, that’s good. Your family is getting bigger.”
“Is it?” Her eyes get as big as they can.
“Sure is. Noah has parents, so it means you have grandparents there too, maybe uncles and aunts, cousins. He has a wife who also has parents and siblings. And there’s nobody who can’t love you, Lex. You’re the most adorable little girl I know, so they’ll all fall in love with you.”
“What are siblings?”
“Siblings are brothers and sisters.”
“Like Uncle Luke?” Swipe, toss, claw, drop on the floor, and repeat. I still balk at her calling my brother uncle, but I decide it’s not the night to correct her.
“Yes, Luke and I have the same parents, so he is my brother, my sibling. But sometimes, you don’t need to have the same parents to be siblings.”
“So, I can still have siblings? Like if you and Mommy make a baby, it would be my sibling?” Swipe, toss, claw, drop on the floor, and repeat.
“It’s not going to happen. Your mommy and I are just friends. But maybe one day you will have a sibling because your mommy will find someone she loves and wants to make babies with, but I’m pretty sure it won’t be me, baby girl.”
“Because you and Mommy don’t kiss on the lips enough?” Being four and having an easy life. When I was little, all my life was about was bugging Sal until she cried, doing crazy shit to drive Aaron mad, and trying not to piss Luke off too much because he was scaring the shit out of me. Life was so easy then.
“Something like that, kiddo.” I ruffle her hair and poke at her nose. “Now, don’t worry about tomorrow. Your mommy will be there, and I will too, and you know Noah, right? You’ve met him before.”
“Yes, but he never really talked to me. He always preferred to kiss Mommy or to make her cry.” Swipe, toss, claw, drop on the floor, and repeat.
“Sometimes adults make each other cry like kids do.”
“Are you going to make my mommy cry?” Swipe, toss, claw, drop on the floor, and repeat.
“I’ll try not to.”
“You have to promise me, Banarbas!”
“I can’t promise that, Lex.”
“I don’t like when Mommy cries. Since we lived here, she hasn’t cried once, and that’s good. It’s because you’re nice.”
“Am I now?”
She nods. “Yeah, you make her laugh with the stupid things you do.” I smile.
“Are you allowed to say the S-word, rascal?” Lex blushes.
“Please keep it a secret or Mommy is going to be mad.”
“Of course, it’s our secret. Now I’m pretty sure it’s time to sleep.”
“Can you stay here with me? I really wanted to sleep in your bed when you were not there, but Mommy said no.”
“You can sleep in my bed whenever, baby girl, just be sure I’m alone in it. Okay?”
“Okay,” she says in a yawn. I lie there next to her, waiting for her to fall asleep, humming the melody my mother sang to me when I was a child. I hope I’m not sending wrong signals to Lex. I have never displayed any affection or teased her mother in front of her, but she’s clearly hoping for something between us. Playing with Avery is one thing, but giving hope to Lex is another. I should stay away, stop the game. After all, nobody would be surprised if we break off our fake-relationship. I’m pretty sure my parents opened the bets to the entire sixty-and-over community in town. They do love to bet against us, that’s for sure. I think it has something to do with how they met or how my dad stole my mom’s heart. I don’t know; I didn’t listen to their story. Or I was high. Speaking of which, I haven’t smoked a blunt all week, and my back hasn’t been hurting that much. In fact, I forgot I had a back.
“Is she asleep?” Avery asks. I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t heard her come up the stairs, and you can hear everything in this barn. I heard her last week when she came up while I was masturbating. I knew she was there watching me. I smelled her when she got aroused, I felt her gaze, heard her breathing. I just let her watch. Every day, I hear her little snore at night or moans under the shower. I hear when she’s up and when she types on her computer late at night. I hear every muffled sound she wants me not to hear, every whisper she tells her daughter, every step she takes, every move she makes. I’m in a Police song, except I don’t creep on the girl, the barn is just far from being soundproofed.
“Yeah,” is the only answer I can give her. Seeing her standing in the frame of the door, she takes my breath away. She looks at Lex with so much love. I know she would do anything for her, and I wish
I could feel that kind of love someday. The love where you could sacrifice everything for a bundle of cuteness, but it’s not in the stars for me.
“Sorry,” I mumble, getting up before my emotions take over and I do something stupid like asking her to let me be in Lex’s life forever.
“Do you want to go out tonight? The girls were asking if I could join them at the bar, maybe you want to come? I can ask my mother to babysit.” I shake my head. No way am I going out to the bar tonight. All of a sudden, the pain in my back has awoken, and my heart explodes in my throat.
“I’m tired. I’m gonna hit the sack, but you go and have fun with your girls. I’ll stay here.” I can’t even meet her eyes when I say so. She grabs my arm when I pass close to her.
“I can stay here and watch something with you, I mean… If you want.” I finally dare to look into her eyes. They are blue-hope. She’s not asking only to watch something with me. She wants to spend time with me, to be around me and play fucking house. As tempting as it is, I can’t give it to her. Not tonight, not ever.
“Go out, Ave, have fun. I’m going to bed.” I stroll into the corridor, my head high on my shoulders but my throat clogging, knowing there is no way a woman as fierce as Avery can ever be with a man like me. Closing the door behind me, I fall on my bed and let a tear escape my eye before getting my phone out and calling my dad for comfort. He’s the only one who knows the truth because he was the one with me when I woke up and the doctors gave me the news about the accident.
“Dad?” I say with a trembling voice, hating that I’m a thirty-eight-year-old man who still needs his dad a couple of times a year.
“On my way, boy, bringing the scotch.” The scotch my brothers think I’m not allowed to drink because I’m not in Dad’s club. The scotch Dad always brings when I need him to remind me why my life is still worth living.
