“It was my fault. Callahan used a soldier as bait. The guy jumped out and began to shoot at Cliff and I. I shot the guy but moved too far and put myself in the open. The next thing I knew, Cliff had hugged me from behind and lifted me off my feet. We dropped back near our hiding place and out of range of Callahan. He was shot twice in the back. He immediately began to cough up blood, which I figure meant his heart and lungs were damaged,” Max said.
“He saved you,” Alex added.
“Yes. He did. I don’t know why he did it. He said something silly about owing me, but I never thought of it that way,” Max said. She sniffed, hoping she didn’t burst into tears in front of the group.
“When I saw Callahan firing, all I could do was open fire on him. But he was in an awkward angle, so I clipped his shoulder again and his chest I think,” Alex said, continuing the story.
Max’s mind flew back to her bullet punching through Callahan’s forehead. She didn’t feel remorse or regret for killing the bastard. But she was far from feeling vindicated. Maybe she would be able to celebrate the win much later down the road.
“Max ended things. So Callahan is gone,” Rafe said. Max was thankful for his simple explanation.
“He’s dead then?” Liam asked.
“Exactly what he deserved,” Max said, challenging Liam to say differently.
“Not going to argue that at this table,” Liam said, holding up his hands.
“What will they do now, Liam? How do you think they’ll fill the void of Callahan?” Alex asked.
“I’m not well versed with everything Callahan did. He didn’t have anyone that would be considered second in command, I don’t think,” Liam replied.
“He didn’t let anyone up high enough that they could challenge him,” Smith added.
“But, I don’t know if they’ll give up on you all. Not until they know the truth,” Liam said.
Alex sat back, letting that simmer for a moment. Max couldn’t imagine keeping up the fighting like they were. For the moment they were settled in a place, but going home was what they all wanted first and foremost. Max missed the safety of their walls. She missed fresh foods. She missed running water.
“‘The Suit’ is all that’s left,” Alex finally said.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Rafe enlisted Smith and Liam to join him in digging a hole for Cliff. They picked a dirt area next to the first house, far enough off that they wouldn’t trample it. But close enough that they could visit until they left. It took much of the day to dig the grave. They settled in for dinner later that night. After eating, they all agreed an early morning funeral for Cliff was best.
In bed that night, Max laid awake while Griffin breathed deeply next to her. His arm was snug around her waist and his face was next to her shoulder. He had tried to stay awake with her but she pretended to fall asleep to avoid talking about things anymore. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t console her and she didn’t want him feeling like he had failed.
When the light of dawn began to seep into the room, Max had never fallen asleep. Her eyes were dry from staring at the ceiling for hours. But when Griffin began to move and wake up, she immediately closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. She didn’t like closing her eyes, because all she saw was Rafe closing Cliff’s eyes.
Before breakfast, Charlie checked Max’s face. She explained that it was weeping slightly, but that was normal. She gave Max antibiotics to take as well as covering the scrape in ointment again. An infection was the last thing any of them wanted to deal with.
Margaret handed out small boxes of cold cereal and a jug of powdered milk was passed around. The milk didn’t taste bad, but it wasn’t the same as their fresh milk from home. Max didn’t taste much as she ate her cereal and then took her antibiotics. There was no conversation around the table, even the children were fairly quiet.
Once everyone had finished and dishes were stacked for cleaning, Alex called everyone over to the gravesite. Rafe and Smith had wrapped Cliff in a tarp and lowered him into the hole. Dirt had been added to hide him from their eyes, but Max could picture him below. She knew his face looked fine and the only damage was to his back. However, the children didn’t need to see a dead body if they could avoid it.
“We aren’t a religious family, so if someone wants to say a prayer, they are welcome to,” Alex said.
Issac bowed his head and recited the Lord’s Prayer. Margaret joined in, but everyone else just lowered their heads. When they were done, even the non-religious among them said amen.
“I thought we could just let everyone share whatever they would like about Cliff and say goodbye,” Alex said, looking around at the group. Billie and Henry were at her side, holding each of her hands.
“I’ll start,” Alex continued. “For a quiet man, Cliff was extremely reliable. Even when you didn’t know if he was listening, he was. And he gave his all for this group. I’m thankful for that.”
“He was a great bunkmate. Even before I was allowed into the bunk, Cliff was always so nice to me when I came out for meals or chores. I’m going to miss him,” Smith said.
“He played with us. He was always really nice,” Billie said in a small voice. Alex looked down at her and ran a hand over her head with a smile.
Rafe and Charlie said nice things next. Griffin talked about how Cliff had always protected Jack. Margaret talked about him being a kind man, even after his loss. Issac talked about teaching Cliff to shoot better and how the first time he heard Cliff laugh it was infectious.
Finally, Max was the only one to have not spoken. She knew she had to say something, but the words didn’t seem to want to come. Alex looked at her over the grave and nodded encouragingly. Griffin put an arm around Max’s shoulders, silently supporting her like he always did.
“When I first met Cliff, he was covered in blood and barely speaking. He was running from the infected that had just killed his wife and son. When he tried to let himself die, I slapped him. I can’t believe I slapped him,” Max said. Her breath caught and tears began to drip down her cheeks. She wiped at them angrily.
“He thought he owed me for that. I brought him to Montana so he could live. And instead, he gave his life for mine. I can’t stop being angry at him for it, and I know that’s wrong. So, Cliff, I hope you can hear me you thickheaded idiot. I hope you’re with your wife and son, you deserve that. And thank you. I’ll keep my promise too. We’ll all miss you,” Max finished, saying the last words quickly before she couldn’t speak.
Alex’s face was wet with tears when Max was done. She smiled at Max, nodding again in approval of her words. Max turned her face into Griffin’s shoulder and let the last of the tears fall without fighting them. Though the rest of the family began to wander back to the houses and Max could hear the dirt falling into the grave, she continued to stand there with Griffin and Jack.
“I don’t know how to deal with this,” Max finally said, voicing her struggle.
“We’ve lost people before,” Griffin replied.
Max looked at him, knowing he was also thinking about losing his best friend when they were on their way to Montana. They also lost a woman that was from the military quarantine zone Max had found Griffin in. Max hadn’t liked the woman much, but dying of the infection wasn’t right for anyone. Then there was Marcus. And finally Cliff. Max knew there would be more.
“I know. But he died to save me. And that’s just a hard pill to swallow,” Max said.
“He knew you had to come home to me,” Jack said quietly.
“That’s probably a good piece of it, kiddo,” Max agreed.
“Doesn’t mean he didn’t matter, I didn’t mean that,” Jack quickly added.
Max pushed the curls from her daughter’s face and tilted chin up to look at her face. “I didn’t think you meant that for a moment.”
“Callahan’s gone, but it doesn’t feel like the end of anything,” Max said.
“No, it doesn’t,” Griffin agreed.
A
fter watching for over an hour, Cliff’s grave was filled in. Rafe made a makeshift cross to go as a headstone. Jack picked up rocks and surrounded the mound of dirt in a rock circle. Max helped her as she made sure she picked the prettiest rocks she could find.
Max felt exhausted, but she was afraid to sleep. The entire group was low and Alex decided they would relax for a few days to recover from the fight and the loss of Cliff. Max knew she needed to rest, so she sought out Charlie. She found the little doctor in the kitchen of house number two. She looked up when Max entered, and her face completely softened.
“It was really kind what you said for Cliff,” she said.
“Oh, I, uh, well I meant it,” Max stammered.
Charlie could tell she was uncomfortable. “Can I help you, Max? Is your face bothering you?”
“I need to sleep, but I’m afraid.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“Dreams, memories, things like that. Do you have anything that would help me sleep hard?” Max asked.
“I do. But I can’t guarantee dreamless sleep. That’s all up to your subconscious. But maybe you’re tired enough to sleep well,” Charlie replied.
She turned to a large medical bag that she used and dug out a bottle of pills. She handed two to Max and told her to take them with a glass of water and then go to bed. Max began to walk out of the house, thinking about how she hoped the pills worked, when Charlie called to her.
“Max, I know everyone is saying it, so I’ll just repeat it. Cliff wasn’t your fault. He made the choice to save you. You can’t beat yourself up over it.”
Max just nodded and walked faster out of the house, wanting to avoid anymore conversation. She was able to get to her room without seeing anyone else. She slipped off her boots and weapons and laid down on top of her sleeping bags. She took the pills and settled in.
It was almost dark when Griffin shook her shoulder. Max startled and looked around to get her bearings.
“You’ve slept ten hours. I figured you better eat dinner before you slept the entire night away,” Griffin said.
He leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead. Max rubbed at her eyes roughly, trying to focus on Griffin. He smiled at her, the look tinged with sadness. Max couldn’t force her face to respond and she just stared.
“Margaret has a bowl of stew for you. Come on,” Griffin said. He stood and crutched out of the room, understanding she wasn’t able to hold conversation.
When Max stumbled onto the deck, the area was empty except for Issac and Margaret, who was stirring something in a pot over a small fire. She looked up at Max’s footsteps and stopped stirring. She went to Max and without saying a word she wrapped her arms around her and held her tightly. Max hesitated at first, but she put her arms around the older woman and melted into the embrace.
“It’s going to be ok, honey,” Margaret whispered.
“Is it?” Max asked.
“I believe it. We have to live our best lives now, our friends couldn’t have died in vain,” Margaret replied.
“I hope we can do that,” Max admitted.
She pulled back and looked at Margaret. Max couldn’t help but look to Margaret as a sort of mother figure. The only one Max ever had was Alex and she had been a child when Max was born. Max liked to believe the kindness that radiated from Margaret would have been similar to her mother’s. She could imagine the hugs and comfort a mother would give to her children, even if they were grown adults.
Margaret stepped back to the fire and poured a healthy portion of stew into a bowl. She handed the bowl and a spoon to Max and pointed to the table.
“You need to eat. I used the last of the vegetables and added some SPAM for protein. It’ll help.”
Max nodded and sat down heavily at the table. The aftermath of the sleeping pills was still thick on her eyes, so she rubbed them again. The stew was hot and slid down Max’s throat, spreading its warmth throughout her body. She partially realized that getting cozy with the food was going to make her sleepy again, but she couldn’t stop the spoon as it moved to her mouth.
The rest of the family was busy with their own people and Max was left blissfully alone until she finished the stew. Issac took the bowl and insisted he would wash it for her. Max tried to smile, but it didn’t come. Instead, she nodded a thank you and headed back to the house. She found Jack with Billie and Henry playing go fish with cards they kept in the RV. Candace and Easton sat on the couch behind the younger kids and watched on.
Max ran her hand over Jack’s head before heading back to her room. Jack watched her mother but didn’t say anything. When Max got back to her curtain door, she was surprised to find Alex sitting on the loveseat waiting for her. Max jumped before recovering her senses and Alex smiled tightly.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s ok. I just didn’t realize anyone was in here,” Max replied.
She went to the bed and slipped off her shoes again. This time she changed into her night clothes and got inside the sleeping bag. She waited until she was comfortable before turning to Alex.
“What’s up?”
“You slept a long time,” Alex said.
“Yeah. I didn’t sleep last night. I asked Charlie for meds.”
“Makes sense. I wanted to make sure you were handling this ok. I know you’re struggling,” Alex said.
As she spoke, she slipped off her own boots and walked to the other side of the air mattress. She laid next to Max and turned on her side to look at her sister. Max adjusted so they were face to face.
“I don’t know how to be ok with trading someone’s life for mine,” Max finally admitted.
“I’m not sure anyone knows how to be ok with that,” Alex replied.
“What did he think he was doing? There had to be a better decision. And that’s what I keep thinking about over and over again. That and the way it felt, when the bullets hit him,” Max said.
“Maybe if you tell me, it would be easier?” Alex asked.
Max sighed and turned on her back. Alex did the same until they were both staring at the dark ceiling. Alex found Max’s hand and intertwined their fingers. The gesture reminded Max of times when they were little, when nightmares were considered weakness, and they only had each other for comfort.
“He was big, ya know. The bullets didn’t push him over. His body kinda shook from the impact, until he could move and then we both fell,” Max said quietly.
“I can see that being hard to forget,” Alex said.
“I just need to distract myself, I think,” Max said.
“With what?”
“Scavenging runs, tracking down ‘The Suit’, getting us home. I don’t know. Anything.”
Alex was quiet for a few moments before continuing, “Rafe wants to go on a run tomorrow. I think he’s needing some distraction too. There were a few small shops we wanted to check out before. You could come with us,” Alex said.
Max thought about it. She knew Griffin would be angry, but she figured she could convince him this was something she needed.
“Yeah. I want to go,” Max said.
They continued to lay there, side by side, holding hands, long after they both fell asleep. They slept through Griffin, finding his bed taken and putting Jack to bed. Griffin left them to sleep soundly and went to help put Billie and Henry to bed. Candace and Easton agreed to bunk with the little kids so they wouldn’t feel alone without their mother. Griffin took a couch, knowing Max needed her sister just then.
When Max woke again, the room was bright and she was turned toward Alex. It took her a moment to understand what was going on, but when she remembered falling asleep with her sister, everything else came rushing back. She pressed her hands against her face to hold everything in. Alex sensed the movement and opened her eyes to look at Max.
“Dang, a sleepover. We haven’t done that in forever,” Alex said.
“I guess we needed it,” Max replied.
“Thanks for letting me
stay,” Alex said.
“Thanks for staying. Sometimes I guess I still need my big sister to take care of me,” Max replied.
Rafe was itching to get into town to start their scavenging as soon as breakfast was done. Max was surprised when Griffin didn’t put up a fight. He only asked if she could see about some socks for Jack while she was out. Max agreed to check and gave him a quick kiss before running out to Rafe’s truck. Alex and Rafe were already loaded and ready to go.
They drove in silence, all of them on the look out for places that looked promising. Alex motioned to a small boutique store that had been left alone, and Rafe pulled the truck into the parking lot. They were all looking for some clothing items, since a lot of their belongings were left on the compound back in Montana.
Alex carefully picked the lock to the front door and once it was open, Rafe tapped on the glass to draw attention. The coast seemed clear so they entered the store together, weapons drawn, ready for the unexpected. The store was dark and the smell musty. A thin layer of dust covered the register counter and shelves that held trinkets.
“I guess small businesses aren’t the rage anymore,” Rafe said quietly, as they put their weapons away.
Max walked down an aisle looking at the odds and ends the store held. She found pairs of fashionable socks with cartoon pictures and motivational sayings. She grabbed all of them and stuffed them into her backpack. In the next shelving area, t-shirts with San Francisco logos were stacked. Max added as many of those as she could fit into her pack.
Once their packs were full and they had loaded what they wanted into the truck, the siblings began to climb into the vehicle. The bellow of a man echoed between the buildings and froze Max in her tracks. She stepped up on the truck bumper, trying to see where the man was. More yells came and she pointed in the direction she thought they were located.
Climbing into the truck, Max looked at her siblings. They were all hesitating, not sure they wanted to risk themselves for strangers.
Sundown Series | Book 5 | Vengeance Page 33
