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Learning to Let Go
Book Two in the Learning Series
Copyright © 2014 by Cynthia P. O’Neill
Cover design by Once Upon a Time Covers
Edited by Erin Roth, Wise Owl Editing
Formatting by JT Formatting
All rights reserved.
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
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Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Acknowledgments
About the Author
I needed to hold out to make it to Garrett’s penthouse. I could feel the walls closing in around me as a sense of heaviness invaded my body, weighing me down. My vision began to blur. My mind was reeling. Come on, just hold out a little longer. You can do this. You need to get to Garrett. His security guys probably see what a mess you are and he’s already on alert. He’ll be there for you.
My mind wanted to argue the fact that I’d just pushed him away from me moments earlier, but I knew Garrett; once his mind was set on something he wanted, he wouldn’t give up easily. I just prayed the same held true for me. I hated to admit it, but I needed him now more than I ever had. He was the only thing going through my mind as Chase slammed in the walls and counter and as he pulled me down into the glass. Normally I’d have given up and just taken the beating, but I could hear Garrett’s voice encouraging me to fight, to move out of the past and focus on the future.
I felt the weight of the frying pan still in my hand, reminding me how I finally got off a clean shot to Chase’s head and managed to run for it. Luck had been with me when my neighbor stepped off the elevator and the elevator doors started to close on their own. I had one shot at escape and the only place I could run was back into Garrett’s arms. As I entered the key code for the penthouse, I prayed he would still be there to catch me.
Everything around me seemed to move in slow motion as the elevator opened on his floor. I know my feet moved, because my body was inching closer to Garrett’s shocked face. I could barely hear his words, “What the hell happened, Laurel?” I could almost focus on Thompson and Dillon running past me, one heading for the elevator, the other to the stairwell. I somehow managed to squeak out, “Chase.”
Garrett’s arms were outstretched, but he wouldn’t touch me. Why? Help me! I wanted to scream. Hold me! Then the world seemed to go black and I could only hear him curse, “Fuck,” before feeling my body drop. I heard the clang of the frying pan hitting the floor. I expected my body to be next, but I felt the warmth of his arms encase me, pulling me close to his chest as he gently lowered me to the ground.
“No, Laurel! Oh, God, no! Stay with me, baby. I’ll make sure we get Chase and make him pay for what he’s done.” His voice, normally so composed and controlled, was shaking and I felt moisture hit the sides of my face.
Could he be crying? The man who was always in control of everything was actually crying!
“Stay with me, love. I’ll make this right, just don’t leave me. I can’t take losing someone else in my life. I can’t lose you.”
I tried struggling against the haziness of the darkness, urging myself to wake up so I could hold his hand, but no matter how hard I tried, my body seemed unwilling to do what my brain so desperately wanted, to soothe him, to reassure him I was still here, that I still cared for him.
Time seemed to tick away as Garrett held me close. “Why couldn’t I have just followed you down?” he chastised himself. “Why didn’t I fight harder for you? You mean everything to me.” His voice was choked with emotion.
I meant as much to him as he did to me? How could this be? We were always good in bed together, but he never expressed this level of emotion.
The elevator dinged and I could make out the squeak of wheels and the drop of heavy bags onto the floor.
“Thank God you’re here,” Garrett said, and I felt his body shift. “Someone attacked her in her apartment and she has low blood sugar. She’s crashing! Help her! Do anything you have to do, just save her, please!”
The level of desperation in his voice was a straight hit to my heart, to my soul. I wanted to yell out, “I’m still here, Garrett! I can hear every word you’re saying!” but I could hardly feel my mouth to open it.
“We need you to let go of her hand and get out of the way so we can help her, sir. The best thing you can do is give us room to do our job. We’ll do everything in our power to get her the help she needs.”
“Garrett, please step away, let them do their work,” Thompson’s voice rang out. He must have returned with the paramedics.
He never used his first name, why now? I heard the cracking of a voice and muffled tears.
“She’s got a fiery spirit, much like yourself Garrett. If anyone can pull through this, she will.” Thompson’s voice was a little shaky, but his words seemed to settle Garrett, as the sound of tears halted.
Garrett’s voice was laced with fear and emotion. “Did you catch—” The question was left open ended, but I knew who they were talking about. I strained my ears, trying my hardest to focus on their words. I needed to know if they caught the jerk who did this to me.
“Now is not the time, sir. Your focus needs to be on Miss Hart, while mine will be on handling this bastard.” I’m sure Thompson didn’t expect me to hear the hushed tones in which he whispered, “I’ll update you more later; he had escaped the apartment by the time we got there.” He paused and I felt Garrett’s body stiffen. “The police already have issued an APB and we have every available man out there looking. I’ll stay behind to help with the crime scene and fill the police in on what we know. You go with your girl; take care of her, she needs you.”
I felt a sharp stab to my finger and a number called out; it must’ve been the paramedic.
“She’s at 40 and dropping. We need to start a glucose drip to get her sugars back up.”
No wonder I can’t fight this haze; my sugars are too low.
“Let’s get her in a neck brace and onto a back board. We need to transport immediately.”
I felt strong hands move around me and my body being secured to something stiff. I couldn’t move; not that I could before, I guess.
“Are you related to her, sir?” a different voice asked.
“She’s my girlfriend. She means everything to me.” His
voice broke on the last part, like he barely managed to get the words out.
I’m his what?! Since when did I become his girlfriend? I’m not complaining, but an update would’ve been appreciated here. We were fighting up until…
“We’re going to transport her to the hospital, sir. Did you want to ride up front with the driver or meet us there?”
I felt the stretcher lift up and push towards the direction of the elevators.
“My father, Dr. Waters, will be meeting us at the hospital,” I heard Garrett say, his voice a lot more confident than a moment ago. “I’d prefer to ride up front with the driver.”
The voices were muffled for a while, but I felt his hand squeeze mine and the gentle brush of his lips across my forehead. “Please be okay, my love. You have no idea just how badly I need you in my life.”
Somewhere along the ride to the hospital, my adrenaline rush began to fade and the pain of what happened started to take a toll on my system.
“Her blood pressure’s increasing and her heart rate is up!” a voice called.
Please, God, let me get through this so I can make things right with Garrett. I need to tell him that I forgive him, that I overreacted when I found out who he is. I need to tell him that I love him.
I heard someone yell back over the radio to administer something and within seconds, I felt the coolness of the medication slip through the IV line. The pain was more tolerable, but the darkness finally had its way and pulled me under.
My mind kept replaying the scene of her stepping off the elevator, battered and covered in blood. How had that bastard, Chase, found her? Why did he have to keep coming after her? Couldn’t he take no for an answer? I should’ve followed her down, fought harder for her, instead of giving her time to cool down. Why can’t I let go of the past and break down some of these damn walls?
My heart was already on edge because we were still fighting with one another. Seeing her like that was the last straw. It felt like someone reached into my chest, ripped my heart out, and threw it away. She just had to be all right; otherwise, I don’t know what to do. No, you’re not going there. She’ll be okay; you’ll get your chance to win her back. Get your ass in control and fight for your woman!
I sat with my head in my hands, in a tiny uncomfortable waiting room chair, going over all the what-ifs, feeling lost for the first time in forever, not exactly sure how to respond to what was going on around me. Yelling at the end of the hall caught my attention and made me look up.
“What the fuck did you do to her, Garrett?” Grace yelled at the top of her lungs as she came rushing towards me, her face red with fury with my brother Jonathan on her heels.
I watched as my brother grabbed her around the waist, pulling her back against his chest as she tried to take a swing at me. Her tears began to flow down the sides of her face as she finally gave in and began to relax in his hold.
“My brother would never do anything to hurt Laurel. He l—” Jonathan paused, catching my glare. “He cares about her, Grace. Let’s give him a chance to explain before jumping to conclusions.”
I was thankful that Jonathan caught himself before saying I was in love with Laurel. I wasn’t prepared to admit that I loved someone, at least not yet. I couldn’t bring myself to say the words aloud. I could barely say it in the depths of my own mind. It wasn’t just Laurel I couldn’t say the words to, I haven’t been able to say the “L” word to anyone since my parents died and I wasn’t sure I could start now, no matter how strongly she called to me.
I knew how Grace felt; I felt helpless, like an emotional wreck, waiting to hear how Laurel was. I had walked the course of the hall so much that the nurses at the nearby station finally asked me to take a seat because I was making them nervous.
Jonathan finally asked, “What happened, Garrett? Your security guy, Dillon, came to find us, but he was called away before he got a chance to explain. All he said was that Laurel had been hurt and we needed to get to the Orlando Medical Hospital immediately.”
The mere thought of the guy’s name had my hands fisting the armrests on the chair, feeling the metal start to bend underneath the rage I tried to contain. “Chase happened!” I yelled.
Grace’s hands came up over her mouth, as she screamed out, “NO!” her legs giving out under her. My brother still had a firm hold of her and guided her to a seat next to me. I tried to offer her my hand in comfort, but she shook it off with the jerks of her sobs, turning into my brother’s shoulder instead. I was jealous of her ability to get comfort from someone, while I sat there fuming over how many ways I’d like to ruin Chase’s life once I got a hold of him.
I continued staring at the floor, not sure what kind of emotion to express or even feel. “I don’t know how she’s doing right now. My dad’s here trying to help and get updates for us. Laurel was badly beaten and covered in blood when she got to my place. I’m thankful that I had shown her the security code today, so he couldn’t follow her.” The image of her battered body came rushing forward and I felt my jaw clench and my hands fist at my legs, trying to control my rage.
Eventually, Grace regained her composure and grabbed hold of my shirt, shaking me out of my thoughts. “Tell me everything. I need to know how that fuckwad found her.” Both she and my brother looked at me anxiously, as though I had all the answers. I only wish I did.
I glanced up at their expectant eyes, but couldn’t focus, feeling I had let everybody down, so I stared back at the floor. “I took both of your advice and talked with Laurel. I decided it was time to open up and let her know a little more about me, starting with where I lived.”
“I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions, Garrett,” Grace interrupted, placing her hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “You know she cares for you. She almost called you a couple days ago.”
I looked up into her eyes and shook my head in surprise. I wasn’t prepared for that revelation. All that time we could have been together and she fought me, not wanting to hear me out. We could’ve been buried inside one another, enjoying the pleasures of life, and instead she’s here at the hospital, possibly fighting for her life, all because I was too chicken to follow after her and she couldn’t let down her guard enough to call me.
I took in a defeated sigh and let my shoulders slump. “She may hate me again. We talked and went upstairs so I could show her around. I wanted her to see that I’d been telling the truth about the construction going on at my place and gave her the full tour, with exception of one room. I have my construction team working on a surprise for when she stays over. She thought I was holding on to more secrets, so I tried to explain that I’m a very private person and have a hard time opening up to others...” I let my thoughts drift. “Why can’t I just fucking open up to her?!” I pounded my fist against my leg. “She accused me of hiding things and not caring, yelling at me that we were through, even giving me her notice and threatening legal action if I interfered with her job interviews this time.” I leaned back, running my hands through my hair, remembering just how crazy our argument had been. “I should have grabbed her and kissed her into submission so she’d calm down and listen to me, but I let her walk away.” My chest ached with the realization that all this might have been avoided.
Grace’s hand came up and grabbed the side of my face, turning it toward her. She looked up into my eyes, making sure she had my attention. “Laurel’s stubborn and she suffered a lot as a result of that rat bastard, so when things get too intense, she builds walls around herself for protection. She’d rather run away from confrontation than deal with it head on.” She let out a smirk. “Come to think of it, you’re both alike in that way. What happened after she yelled at you?”
I shook my head at her words. “She refused to hear me out and headed downstairs. I wanted to follow her, but she was so freaking pissed that I figured I’d give her time to settle down and try to talk with her again in a couple hours.”
I couldn’t look at Grace anymore and diverted my gaze toward the o
pposite end of the hallway. My composure was slipping. “Thirty minutes later, Dillon was screaming that Laurel was coming up in the elevator and looked like she had been beaten, that she needed medical attention. He called for the police and an ambulance while I ran to the door. I got there right as the elevator doors opened.” My hands began to shake and I could feel my body racking with emotion. I tried to hide my lack of control by running my hands through my hair, pulling it out of my face.
Jonathan’s hand stretched across Grace’s back and rested on my shoulder with a firm squeeze. “This is not your fault, Garrett, so don’t even go there.” His voice was adamant, talking to me like he did when we were kids, when I blamed myself for things that were out of my control.
“I wish that were true, bro.” I looked up into Grace’s face, disheartened by the concern that was most definitely for me. Of course it was my fault.
“How are you to blame, Garrett?” Grace asked, sounding confused. “He’s the one who did this, not you.”
I couldn’t look Grace in the eyes, so I stared at my shoes as I answered. My voice sounded devoid of emotion, just like my heart felt numb. “If I’d followed her, I would’ve been there when Chase attempted to deliver her flowers. I could’ve fought him and she wouldn’t be here now. I could have protected her.”
Grace grabbed hold of my hand and squeezed harder than I imagined a girl of her size could. “Look at me, Garrett,” she demanded. I guess feistiness ran in the Hart family genes.
I glanced up, expecting to find her face full of contempt, instead finding understanding.
“You didn’t cause this,” she said, her voice adamant. “Chase would have found her no matter where she lived.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know, maybe. All I can think about is Laurel stepping off the elevator with a frying pan in her hand. She was covered in blood.” I used my hands to indicate the entire length of my body and felt a chill run through it. “I wanted to fix her, make her pain go away, but I was afraid to touch her, scared I’d hurt her. I asked what happened and she said Chase’s name before fainting. I dove forward to catch her, to try and cushion her fall.”
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