Learning to Let Go

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Learning to Let Go Page 11

by Cynthia P. O'Neill


  Donny pulled me close and ran his hand up my back, trying to soothe me as I began shaking like a leaf and crying my eyes out. “Shh,” he whispered. “Shh, Laurel. I’ve got you. I can’t believe that asshole did this to you. He seemed like a decent, yet arrogant, guy. Is this why you’ve been out of contact for a while?”

  The tears fell down my face as I nodded. “Yes. Garrett and I had talked. He finally showed me this place, but I still turned away from him, feeling I couldn’t trust him. I left and thought he had followed me down to my apartment, but it was some guy delivering flowers. When I opened the door to sign for them, I was shoved into the wall. It was him! Chase!”

  Fury emanated from my brother, I could feel his fists clenched at my back. “Did he rape you again?” His voice was laden with an intensity I’d never heard from him before.

  “NO—I fought back,” I said proudly. “He pushed me into the counter and held me there, trying to force himself on me again. I let him think he won, but I managed to get the frying pan from the drainer and beaned him good. He went down, but so did I, falling into the glass of the dropped vase. I managed to escape to here, knowing he needed the code to get to the penthouse. Garrett had his dad meet us at the hospital while his security called for the paramedics and police. They went searching for him, but he’d already escaped.”

  I pulled back from him to see his expression and noticed Grace had joined us, her face full of compassion for what I was going through, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. She was definitely my pillar of strength. “Is it okay if I come in? I thought you might need some support, Laurel.”

  I nodded and she moved beside me, taking my hand in hers.

  Donny began pacing in front of me, his face a mask of hatred. If looks could kill, Chase would be dead by now. “How bad were you hurt?” he demanded.

  I had never known his voice to be laced with such vehemence; it was unnerving. I hesitated and he asked the question again, grabbing my shoulders.

  “How bad, Laurel? I need to know!”

  Grace lifted her cell phone. “Is it okay if I show him?”

  She took pictures?! I looked over in horror at the picture on the screen. I didn’t even recognize the person in the hospital bed as me. It looked like some woman who’d tried to wrestle a meat grinder. How I survived all this, I don’t know. You do too know. The only way you got through this was because of Garrett and Grace.

  “I only took the picture as proof, in case the evidence against him disappears. You can never be too careful.” She attempted a weak smile at me and squeezed one of my hands in reassurance.

  “This is how bad I looked?” I asked, completely in awe. “Holy hell! How did I manage to come out of this?”

  Donny was looking over my shoulder, his body shaking so furiously I could feel it. “If I find that bastard, I’m going to kill him. Why the hell didn’t you tell me, Grace? For that matter, why didn’t you tell me all this while you were at school, Laurel?” His eyes were tearing up, his face full of torment and rage. He reached out to grab my arms and finally saw the fading cuts that dotted my skin. “God, Laurel, I—”

  “He convinced me that it would be my word against his and that it was consensual. Chase was smart enough to use condoms, so there was no evidence other than I’d had sex.” I could feel my legs start to give out, but he held me up as the tears burst forth. “He took my virginity!” I blurted out.

  “She confided in me in college,” Grace spoke up, “but only after I promised not to tell anyone. I helped her through it the best I could, given I had a similar incident at the end of high school. I wanted to call and tell you she was in the hospital after this second attack, but I couldn’t betray her trust. She needed to be the only one to tell you.”

  “Why, Laurel? Why couldn’t you trust me or Mom and Dad? Why, damn it?” His voice was pained as he searched for answers and I felt so guilty for not telling him, for not letting my brother protect me the way he obviously thought he was supposed to.

  “Because I was embarrassed that I had let myself get in that situation!” I yelled. “I thought I would be blamed for everything or dismissed as making up a lie.”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it!” he exploded. “Mom and Dad would have probably filed charges against his ass and at least the school would’ve known he was a risk. You’ve pushed away your family and that’s one thing you should be able to count on.”

  I began to panic. I couldn’t let my parents know what a disappointment I turned out to be. “Please don’t tell Mom and Dad, at least not yet. I promise I’ll let them know eventually.”

  “I’m not happy about this, but Grace is right, it’s not our place to tell,” he agreed begrudgingly. “But I do expect you to follow through when you’re ready.”

  “Okay,” was all I could muster, along with, “Thank you.”

  I could no longer speak; my head was too messed up with all the pictures of the events that led to this moment speeding by like a bullet train in my mind. I vaguely heard Grace telling him the extent of my injuries and how Garrett helped to nurse me back to health, even providing a bogus trail for Chase to follow after his failed attempt to break into the hospital.

  He kept shaking his head in disbelief over the whole thing. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Garrett walk in.

  Donny was quick to close the distance, extending his hand in friendship. “I didn’t think very highly of you, Garrett. I believed you were no good for my sister. My apologies, dude. You’re a better man than I thought and I thank you for taking such good care of Laurel and for helping Freddie and me out,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. “You’re right; she needs me around right now.”

  To my surprise, Garrett didn’t take his apologetic handshake, but instead gave him the typical man half-hug that guys are known to do. “No apologies needed,” Garrett demurred. “I plan on ensuring that bastard is caught and prosecuted within every inch of the law. He won’t lay another finger on her as long as I’m around.”

  Donny seemed to be pleased with Garrett’s answer and walked back my direction, pulling me quickly into an intense bear hug. “This was never your fault, Laurel. Never. I hope, from our talk, you’ve learned that you can trust me with anything. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what!”

  I felt overwhelmed with emotion, only able to answer, “Okay.” I took a deep breath to calm my nerves as my brother finally let me go.

  We took a moment to collect ourselves before we returned to the living area with everyone else. The rest of the afternoon was spent enjoying one another’s company, getting to know each other better, and sampling the amazing feast that Deidre had prepared. I had initially been upset that Garrett brought Donny and Freddie down to Orlando, but I had to admit I liked having more of my family around. It was good to feel loved and cherished by both my immediate family and the Waters family, who had apparently decided to claim me as one of their own.

  It was nice to see Laurel finally relaxing and at ease for a change. I had taken a chance that she’d walk out on me again by asking her brother to move down, but I knew she needed someone more than just Grace and I to talk to. The day had been amazing, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy when everyone left and we were finally alone.

  “Are you ready for bed?” I asked. “I can show you to our room.”

  She shook her head. “No, not yet. Could you reacquaint me with the place? I was so pissed at you the last time I was here that I really didn’t pay much attention to where everything is.”

  A slight smile spread across my face. The fact that she wanted to see everything gave me hope that we once again could be comfortable with one another. “It’d be my pleasure, love.” I laced my fingers with hers and proceeded with the tour.

  While she liked most of the rooms, she seemed most impressed with the professional kitchen and the music room, where I kept my grand piano, a drum set, and an acoustic-electric guitar. Who knew we had a shared love of music? I’d have to make it a poin
t to try and talk her into a jam session in the near future.

  “You still haven’t shown me the room that you were working on last time,” she said, curiosity sweeping across her face.

  I should have known that she wouldn’t forget about it. Her mind was one of the reasons why I was attracted to her in the first place. I pulled her to the aforementioned room and took out a key. “You’ll need a special key to get in here,” I explained. “The room was designed with your pleasure in mind.” I watched to see if she reacted to what I said.

  A shudder ran through her, but she patiently waited for me to get the doors open. Laurel’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open as she took in the sight of the room dedicated to her. She looked over at me, her eyes still wide. “You did this all for me? Why?”

  “I’d been tossing around the idea of having you stay with me some, once the penthouse was done getting redesigned. I knew that the stress of work and life gets to you and wanted you to have a room you could escape to, that would be primarily yours, where you could unwind and learn to let go of things. I didn’t realize how much that last part would actually be needed.”

  I grabbed her hand and closed the doors behind us. The room was the equivalent of three of the rooms upstairs. I pulled her over toward the centerpiece of the room, a king-sized, four poster bed decorated with rich hues of teal, cerulean blues, burgundy, gold and emerald colors making up the satin sheets, comforter and pillows. I’d made sure to have Grace tell me all of her favorite colors and to ensure each one of them was in the room.

  “If you just want to slip away, you can come down here and rest against the coolness of the sheets,” I said, trying my best not to rush through the tour. “Or, if you prefer, I had a massage table installed, where I can work out the stress in your muscles and let my fingers take a magic trip across your skin.” I moved behind her, pressing my body firmly against hers, my fingers rubbing the length of her arms.

  She blushed immediately. “What’s that over there?” She pointed towards the steps leading to a long, covered surface.

  I held her close, fearing she might flee when she saw everything the room had to offer. “I know how much you miss swimming and that you’re apprehensive about getting into the public pool here at the condo because of Chase, so I had this installed. It’s an endless lap pool with hot tub capability—the best of both worlds. The water forces against you as you swim to get exercise and let off some steam, then afterwards you can flip the switch and just soak in the heated jets of the hot tub.”

  She turned in my arms and looked up into my eyes, her face tear-stained and her smile broad. “I can’t believe you’d do all this for me. It’s perfect.”

  “When are you going to understand I would move heaven and earth for you?”

  Her shoulders shrugged as she walked over to the lap pool and caressed the exterior. I stood back and let her explore the contents of the room, wondering when she would notice some of the other treasures.

  She opened the armoire that was against the wall by the bed. “Apparently, this room isn’t just for my pleasure.” Her voice was filled with sarcasm as she lifted one of the lingerie outfits and held it to her front.

  Why did she have to do that? Now I’ll be sporting damn wood all night. I cleared my throat and tried to think of anything to help alleviate the swell against my pants. I wouldn’t lie to her, so honesty was the best policy. “I’d hoped that maybe we could have some pleasure together in here.”

  She nodded her head, seeming to understand what I was wanting, as she turned around and placed the lingerie hanger back in the armoire. She proceeded to open a couple of drawers, not responding to what was inside and then finally turned to me with one eyebrow cocked.

  I was going to try and explain myself when she posed a question I wasn’t prepared for. “Are you a dom, Garrett? I’ve been meaning to ask you for sometime.”

  My mind was clouded. Did she just ask me what I think she did? “How in the hell do you know about that, Laurel?” Was she kinkier than I thought? I knew I’d exposed a minx sex kitten within her, but damn, she was getting hotter by the minute.

  “Hannah.”

  Did I hear her correctly? “What did you say?”

  “My roommate, Hannah, was into the whole BDSM thing. She wasn’t majorly involved, but she liked to play around with a couple of her boyfriends. She’d tried the whole submissive thing, but then discovered she liked both the dominant and submissive side. Call me curious, but I asked her some questions for my own inquisitiveness. I know you like control in the bedroom and I realize you’ve been gentle with me lately, but I need to know, are you a dominant? A masochist?” Her arms crossed as her eyes pierced through me, waiting for an answer.

  I felt the air rip out of my lungs. I never expected my sweet Laurel to have any clues what I truly desired from her, so I might as well come clean. I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, grabbing her hand and pulling her to sit beside me.

  My mind was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out how best to explain things to her, when her hand came up and caressed my face.

  “Know that whatever you tell me, Garrett, I won’t run. I might need time to absorb new insights into who you are, but I promise I won’t leave you this time.”

  I could feel myself relax and I leaned into her touch. “Yes, I’m a dominant, but I’m not entirely into the BDSM scene. I don’t believe in masochism, but I do like to spank, because it heightens sexual pleasure…”

  Her bottom squirmed on the bed and her cheeks flushed a soft pink, obviously remembering the times I had smacked her ass. Hmm, she liked that thought. I’ll have to try and bring that back into play with us.

  My mind wandered away for a moment, imagining her leaning over my lap, my cock poking hard into her belly, while I made her ass a lovely shade of pink. Don’t go there. Focus back on her or you’ll lose her. Tell her the rest of the story.

  I shook my head, dispelling the perverse thoughts I was beginning to conjure. I grabbed hold of her face with both hands and stared deeply into her eyes. “I’m not surprised by your questioning. I do want control in my life, especially the bedroom.” I reached over, brushing a piece of loose hair behind her ear and lifting her chin up to look into my eyes. “I love when you submit to me and let me consume you. But, where the BDSM world gets kicks out of pleasure through pain, I only live for the pleasure I can show you.”

  I leaned over and began trailing slow, heated kisses up her neck and nipping at her ear. My arms wrapped around her back as my hands moved to her ass, grabbing it and drawing her closer so she could feel how hard she made me.

  “I’m not a masochist,” I whispered. “The thought of hurting you abhors me. I’ll never tie you up, without your permission, at least. I prefer to feel your hands all over me and knowing how I drive you crazy.”

  She moved forward, rubbing up against my length, pressing her lips against mine. “I like when you take control in the bedroom, but don’t expect me to be dominated outside of it.” She pulled back for a moment, giving me time to absorb all that she was giving me.

  Several seconds passed before she spoke up again.

  “So I take it you like to use some toys and bondage?”

  I cleared my throat. There was something wickedly arousing about just hearing the word “bondage” come out of her mouth. “I’ll never ask you to do something you’re not comfortable with, Laurel, and you always have the right to say no. But I’d like to test your limits and to provide you some of the greatest pleasure you’ve ever experienced, showing you how to let go of the things that bother you. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you the many different ways I’ve thought of taking you, but I swear, I’ll never hurt you.”

  Her eyes held mine as she moved closer, planting a soft kiss on my lips. The feel of her chest rubbing against mine had me ready to bust through the seams of my pants. I was about to push away and tell her to stop before she unleashed the sexual tension built up in me, when she whispered, “Take me. P
leasure me. Show me how to let go, Garrett.”

  I don’t know if she realized it, but she had a livewire to my crotch. My cock was already dripping with pre-cum and trying to seek out her heat. Her lips brushed up against mine, begging for an answer.

  “Are you sure you’re ready to play, Laurel?” I asked.

  Her teeth bit her bottom lip as she nodded her pretty red head. That’s all it took for me to quickly rid her of her clothes and mine.

  “I want you on the bed on your hands and knees, baby,” I ordered. “You seemed to squirm at the mere mention of turning your ass pink. I want to try something with you.”

  I turned towards the armoire and opened the drawer to the item I was looking for. I hadn’t used Ben Wa balls in play before, but the salesperson at the store said they were a number one seller, especially for those enjoying a nice smack to the rear, and the vibrating option just added to heighten sensual awareness. I couldn’t wait to get them inside her.

  I picked up the silver balls with a covered wire holding them together and turned back around towards her and nearly came on the spot. Laurel was in perfect position with her ass presented to me on the bed, already glistening in her own juices. Get control of yourself or this will be over before it starts.

  My hand reached out to touch her outer thigh, massaging it in circles as I moved up towards her backside. I held out my other hand to her, showing her what I had. “These are vibrating balls that help contract the muscles inside you. I’d like to insert them into your pussy and then give your backside some nice color. I want to see how much I can make you squirm.”

  A low raspy, “Yes,” sounded from her mouth, causing my piece to twitch.

  I spread her legs further apart and the muskiness of her arousal hit me full on. I loved that my girl was so sensual at heart. I thrust one finger inside her to see if she needed a little foreplay to get her going. “My God, Laurel, you’re so damn wet and ready.” I bent forward, popping in one ball after the other and turned the vibration on low, causing her to moan.

 

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