by Patrick Kill
Most of the women in the group knelt and dipped their fingers into the lake. Smiley just stood there watching them bending over, checking each of them out and shaking his head up and down. I bent over and placed my finger in the water. It was bath water-warm and felt like oil. When I pulled my finger out, my skin tingled with an icy-hot sensation. I inspected my finger and the skin was no longer dry and rough, but moisturized and smooth.
A chorus of "ooohs" and "ahhhhs" sounded from the enlightened women. Smiley joined in the chatter with his own grunts and groans of appreciation. He was once again gazing at the fat woman who was still trying to get down on her hands and knees in order to test the waters.
She finally gave up and just fell flat on her stomach. I heard her breathing heavily, her raspy breath clearing in her throat. She reached her pale, puffy arm over the edge of the pier when the wood splintered beneath her.
The entire pier shifted. A few women fell on their butts against the pier. The fat women, however, wasn't so lucky.
The wooden pier beneath her suddenly broke.
She plummeted face-first into the lake, causing a great splash. The water shifted, now bubbling around the sunken woman like a hot spring.
Amidst the screams, I heard Heather's voice in the headset. "Everyone please calm down, everything will be fine. More than fine, actually. Watch…"
And as soon as she said that, the water calmed. The fat woman emerged. But she was no longer fat. It was as if her flesh had been stripped from her body. She was able to pull herself back onto the pier. Her clothes hung on her body like a giant tarp; she was actually lost in her own outerwear. Her shirt hung down off her slender frame, causing one of her breasts to pop out. The sight of her breast caused my penis to stir. It was perfectly round and meaty, the skin glowing radiantly without a single blemish.
The other women in the group slowly approached her, touching her skin and giggling like little schoolgirls. It was as if she had just won a major beauty pageant and was being congratulated by all the other women contestants.
Smiley just pouted, obviously realizing that his chance to poke, probe and swim in the ocean of her fat was now long gone.
As all the women were chatting, Smiley and I looked into the lake. Just below the clear-blue surface, we saw fish darting in and out of a brilliantly-colored patch of seaweed. I peered closer and saw that the fish were no ordinary fish. Their scales were the color of flesh. And their eyes were not the grotesque shifting eyes of an aquatic creature, but more human-like. They glided gracefully towards the surface, one of the fish looking right at us. And in its eyes I swore I could see a semblance of knowledge, like the fish was intellectually stimulated by what it saw.
Smiley saw the fish, too. He looked at me, and I saw that he had an epiphany. And knowing Smiley since high school, I could almost read his very thoughts. It wasn't hard to figure out since his entire process was limited to the three Fs and this time flirting and fucking were not on his agenda.
The sun was slowly going down when Heather led us back into the complex. "Tomorrow," she said, "you'll each have your chance to take a dip and become beautiful. So I suggest that everyone get their beauty sleep for the big day tomorrow."
She winked at Smiley as the group departed, but Smiley didn't notice.
His mind was elsewhere.
* * *
I spent the early evening feeding Ramona in the cafeteria. When I returned to the room, Smiley was hard at work. Not only was he getting a blow job from the toothless elderly women we saw during the tour group, he had managed to create a makeshift fishing pole using Ramona's titanium leg brace and an entire roll of dental floss. Three rust-colored hooks (U-shaped berets that had been filed on one end) were displayed there as well. He had even went to the cafeteria and ordered a few slices of bread. Ten perfectly round bread balls were scattered around on the table. Another glance and I corrected myself: there were only nine bread balls and one glass eye.
I quickly wheeled Ramona by the live porno scene unfolding in our room. The old lady didn't seem to acknowledge my presence. I prepped Ramona for bed and shut the door behind me, so that she wouldn't be disturbed by Smiley's antics. God knows I was already disturbed enough for the both of us.
I returned to the main room and shivered at the sight. The old lady was totally nude, her wrinkled breasts were smacking against her scarred abdomen, like two rotten cantaloupes. It looked as if she had had at least a dozen surgeries performed on her stomach, gauging by the incision scars she had, not to mention open heart surgery as there was a massive line of scar tissue running down her sternum, disappearing between her breasts. Her ass was dimpled in at least a thousand places across each gray mottled cheek. I retched at the site of her head bobbing up and down and her skeletal fingers plunging in and out of her dried up crotch.
"You like it kinky, don't you?" she asked in a deep and gravelly voice, after pulling Smiley's dick out of her mouth and stroking him with her gnarled hand.
I covered my eyes with my hand and turned on the television, trying to ignore the horrid scene taking place on the other side of the room. I had my mind almost fully trained on the TV when the old bag asked, "Well, I bet you've never done it this way!"
Now that challenge was usually an impossible one to win. Smiley had done every crude and amoral act ever conceived of. But to my utter disbelief, the old prune won the challenge.
She took Smiley's hardened member and worked it into her empty eye socket.
I couldn't help but watch.
Smiley moaned harder than I've ever heard him before. His balls slapped her nose and mouth repeatedly as he shifted his penis in and out of her eye socket. He came in less than a minute and the old lady said, "yes, that's a good boy" while grabbing Smiley's ass and pulling his midsection tightly against her face as he climaxed somewhere inside her skull.
Smiley dislodged his member from her eye and fell back exhausted on the bed.
The old lady smiled toothlessly and then snorted twice, cleared her nose or throat, then spit something on the wall beside the bed.
I couldn't tell if it was snot or come and didn't want to find out.
At that point I clicked the TV off and buried my head beneath the pillow, trying to calm my churning stomach.
* * *
Smiley woke me at 2 A.M. He was naked, standing over me, with the fishing pole in his hand. "Ready to hit the lake?" he asked.
I turned my face away from his exposed crotch.
"Jesus Christ, Smiley! What is it with you?"
"What?" he asked.
"Every fucking time you're naked, you act like it's no big deal. I walk into a room and you're fucking some chick as if you were crocheting or doing something normal. Did you ever think that I might not want to see your naked ass all the time?"
"Not really."
"Well, I don't. I don't want to see you with your pants down for anything--peeing, shitting, or fucking, it doesn't matter."
He looked sad. "Sorry, I thought that since we were friends, that it was no big deal."
Great, I thought, he's playing the friends card again. Suddenly I was having a guilt trip. I knew I was just pissed at him for dragging me all the way out to this stupid resort, the only reason was so that he could get a piece of ass. Where was the teamwork in that?
That's when he handed me the key.
"What's this?"
"It's the hotel key for that fat woman's room," he explained. "Her name's Molly and she's in room 12. Now that she's transformed into quite the looker, she's all hot and horny and wanted some action.
"Why didn't you give it to her then?"
Smiley shook his head. "I saw how you were looking at her after she got out of the lake. Looked like you wanted to jump her right there on the pier! So I told her about you and she said you could stop by anytime tonight, no matter how late."
I looked at the key and felt choked up.
"We're a good team, remember?" he said.
I nodded.
; "But before you get a piece of ass, let's do a little fishing before you get tied up," he said, "Or tied down." He laughed. "What do you say?"
I agreed. "But only if you put your pants back on," I added.
* * *
A barbed-wire fence ran the entire length of the shore. Signs were posted every twenty feet or so that stated NO TRESPASSING and NO FISHING.
We scaled the metal gates that were locked outside the pier and set up shop.
The first thing Smiley did was crack open the case of Budweiser he had kept chilled in a cooler in the back of the van. He chugged a can, threw it in the lake, then whipped out his fishing pole.
"Man, don't do that!" I scolded.
"What?"
"The beer can, you idiot! This lake is fucking sacred. If they come out here tomorrow and see a beer can floating around, we're fucked!"
Smiley waved me off with his hand and continued fishing.
Amazingly, in less than an hour, Smiley pulled in 3 small fish. I never thought a floss-line would hold up, but it did. And the dough balls seemed to be attracting more than carp. Each fish Smiley pulled from the lake was about the same size, with the same flesh-colored scales and strange eyes. He threw each of them back.
Just as we finished off a few more beers each, something pulled the slack from his line.
"Holy shit!" he yelled.
"What do you got?"
"Beats me," he replied, "but it's something bigger than the last ones."
After fighting the line for a few minutes, he managed to pull the fish in. The minty fresh floss line was tangled around the fish that was the same length as the others, but at least four times as big around.
"Man, that's about the fattest fucking fish I've ever seen," I commented.
"This one's a keeper, all right!"
Smiley's mounting fish to mounting female ratio was about 2 to 1. At his house, he had an entire room of mounted fish stretching from wall to wall.
"How you going to keep it until tomorrow?"
"Ice bucket," Smiley explained.
"If you get caught, we're screwed!"
The fish flopped on the pier beside him as he unbuckled his pants.
"What are you doing?"
"What do you think?" he asked.
"You have to be joking!"
The fish suddenly grew still. Its eyeballs shifted, looking at Smiley's bare ass. Again, I felt creeped out by the appearance of those eyes. It was as if the fish was thinking, calculating its present situation.
Smiley whipped his dick out and did his business.
As soon as the stream of urine hit the lake, I turned around.
Smiley looked at me and laughed. "What did you think I was going to do?"
I didn't say a word.
A steamy fog slowly rose from the lake. It rolled up from the same spot where Smiley was pissing. Suddenly, the water boiled. Smiley stopped pissing and stepped back cautiously.
"Great, now you did it!" I said.
Slowly the tainted spot where Smiley had pissed started to grow. The lake bubbled and shifted violently. Ripples spread across the lake, moving like slow molasses. In a matter of seconds, the entire lake had been transformed into a giant hot tub. Fish shot out of the lake, flipping wildly in mid-air, then plummeting back into the depths of the foamy waters.
"Holy shit, dude, I think you just tainted the sacred lake!"
"Oh come on. You telling me that none of those women ever peed in the lake when they were getting beautified?"
I thought about it for a second. "I don't think girls pee in lakes, do they?"
Smiley was seriously pondering that question as well when a possible answer hit me.
"Maybe it's because you haven't been introduced into the lake yet?"
The lake slowly simmered down and grew still once again.
"Let me try," I said, then pulled down my pants and pissed in the lake.
Nothing happened.
"See!"
"What do you mean 'see'? You haven't been in the lake yet either!"
"Yeah I have," I stated, "I put my finger in it today. You didn't."
"Where was I?" Smiley questioned.
"You were probably in Porkerville, staring at Fatty's ass."
I pulled my pants back up and zipped them.
"Let's get to bed," Smiley said, "I'm tired and you have to get laid still."
* * *
As Smiley went back to put his fish on ice, I headed for my late night date with the ex-fat chick.
I used the key to room 12 and was met with dim candlelight.
A few steps into the room and I saw Molly spread out across the bed, her transformed slender body sporting curves that any man would die to caress.
The anticipation of the coming event had already stiffened my penis. I felt it self-lubricating itself inside my jeans, much like a sunbather oiling oneself before a big tanning session.
I hopped closer to the bed, attempting to take off my shoes on the fly. After kicking off both shoes, I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it across the room.
When I reached the bed, I froze.
Molly's chest was heaving; her breath seemed raspy. She looked frantic on the bed, like she couldn't catch her breath.
"Are you choking?" I asked her.
She shook her head and patted her chest with her hand.
Either she meant for me to perform CPR or she was having an asthma attack and needed an inhaler. I opted for the former, because I'd been aching to touch her breast anyway. Although I didn't know how to do CPR, I improvised. I cupped one hand around each breast and pushed down, squeezing each mound for pleasure between intervals. Then I locked lips with her and breathed into her lungs right before I shoved my tongue down her throat (to dislodge any foreign objects, of course).
Her nude body looked so ravishing lying there that I forgot what I was doing a few times and just stared. After the 'cupping both breasts and pushing down hard' method failed to work, I panicked.
There was no way I was going to let Molly die.
Especially now that a bad case of blue-balls had set in.
The pain was radiating into my gut as I paced the floor. I couldn't think with my balls swelling up to the size of softballs, so I had to act quickly.
With a flash of Ryan Smiley reasoning, I finished undressing and climbed on the bed. Molly would understand my motive, I thought. She probably wouldn't care at all after I saved her life. And if she died, I'd have nothing to worry about anyway. And wasn't she sprawled out on the bed waiting for me anyway?
I spread her legs without a fight and inserted my penis. The sex was painful at first, as she was dry and I was swollen. Not a good combination! After tearing about three layers of skin from my penis, I managed to lubricate the area all on my own. After that, it took a mere thirty seconds to blow my load.
In mid-orgasm, I felt her body cooling.
Oh shit, I thought, she's dying!
The coldness started at her legs and spread upward. Her vaginal lips felt like they had dropped twenty degrees before I could pull out. Her body was turning blue before my eyes.
I panicked again. A frightening thought ran through my mind. If she died, they'd investigate and find plenty of my semen inside her. I knew from watching CSI every week that they'd probably pull me in for questioning and find out that I had sex with her while she was dying. Did that make me an accomplice to murder? Probably not, but perhaps I'd get arrested for rape or negligence. Necrophilia? Crap!
I jumped off the bed, and removed a hand held Dust Demon from its mount on the entertainment center. Every room had such a device; it was like a mini sweeper for maids or tenants to clean up with.
I flipped the switch on and the portable sweeper whirred to life.
"I'm sorry," I said to Molly, but she didn't respond.
I stuck the sweeper in her vagina.
She didn't even move.
The Dust Demon made a loud farting sound as her vaginal lips were sucked into the vacuum. I cr
inged, hearing my semen getting siphoned into the machine. I pictured my sperm screaming their tails off as they were sucked into an invisible vortex.
I propped two pillows on each side of the vacuum as it continued cleaning up the mess I had made inside Molly.
I fished out my cell phone from my jean pocket and speed-dialed Smiley.
He picked up right away. "What do you want?" he asked.
"Shut up and listen--"
"Do you need some pointers?" he interrupted. "OK…don't fuck her in the ass until after she blows you. Women don't like to lick their own shit off your dick. Well, most women, that is."
Actually that made perfect sense.
Shit! I thought, suddenly realizing that my train of thought had been broken. "Dude, shut the fuck up and listen."
"Ok, what?"
"Molly's like dying or something."
"Huh?" he said, "What the hell did you do to her, you kinky bastard?"
"Nothing," I said, "Well, I kinda stuck a sweeper in her twat, but--"
"Hey, I never thought of that one," he stated, "Did she like it?"
"Uh, I don't think so," I replied. "When I got here she was having problems breathing. Now's she's cold. Get over here and help me!"
