Sea Monsters and Other Delicacies

by David Sinden

  “No need for alarm, ladies and gentlemen,” the Baron said, holding up his hand. He glanced outside through the open doors. The sky was very nearly dark. He turned back to Ulf and smiled. “You moved too soon, werewolf. Bone, cover his eyes before the moon rises. Don’t let him transform!”

  The big man gripped Ulf with one arm and slapped a dirty hand over his eyes so he couldn’t see.

  “Chef, what is the best way to cook werewolf?” Ulf heard the Baron ask.

  “Ugh! Werewolf meat is dees-gusting,” Franco Ravioli replied.

  “Stick him in the oven,” the Baron ordered. “Then feed him to the sharks.”

  Ulf was carried out of the warehouse. “Let me go!” he shouted.

  Bone chuckled and tightened his grip.

  Ulf could feel the cool night air on his skin. He shook and struggled, trying to bite the man’s hand as he was carried across the platform. If he could just see the moon, he’d transform and be strong. But the big man’s hand was clamped tight over his eyes. Ulf heard the door to the kitchen open. The air was hot and smelled of cooked beasts.

  “Tie him up!” Franco Ravioli said. “Down on the floor. Away from the window.”

  Ulf felt himself being taken inside and forced to the floor, his nose pushed onto a cold metal surface. When Bone took his hand away from Ulf’s eyes, Ulf saw that the metal surface was a roasting tray. He twisted his head, looking for the moon, but all he could see was the glass door of a huge oven.

  He felt a knee in his back as the big man bound his hands and legs with rope. Then Franco Ravioli smeared Ulf with butter and poured cooking oil over him. Ulf spluttered as the oil splashed into his eyes and mouth. Next Franco Ravioli sprinkled salt and pepper over Ulf, making him sneeze. Then he loaded the roasting tray with chopped garlic and onion.

  “Put him in the oven,” Franco Ravioli ordered. “The bottom oven.”

  Bone opened the oven door, then lifted the roasting tray and slid Ulf inside. He slammed the door shut.

  Ulf stared out through the glass.

  Franco Ravioli’s face appeared. “After ten minutes, please turn over,” the chef said, smirking. “You’ll be nice and crispy.”

  The fat chef chuckled as he turned up the heat.

  Ulf struggled to free his hands and feet. The butter and oil were seeping into his clothes. He could feel the oven warming up. “Let me out!” he shouted.

  Staring out of the window of the oven, he could see the legs of Franco Ravioli and Bone walking away. “Now for the giant,” the chef said.

  Ulf heard the kitchen door close. He could smell the onions and garlic cooking around him. The melted butter started to bubble and spit. He was sweating. The roasting tray was getting hot.

  He tried kicking his legs, but they were tied tightly. He twisted his neck, looking for the kitchen window, searching for the moon, but all he could see were cupboards and drawers.

  Just then, a sparkle appeared at the oven door.

  “Tiana!”

  “Ulf, they’re going to kill Orson!” Tiana cried.

  “I need to see the moon,” Ulf told her. “You have to get me out!”

  Tiana pulled on the oven door. “I can’t open it!” she said. The fairy flew off and, a moment later, returned carrying a small shiny spoon. She held it up in front of the oven door.

  “Not a spoon,” Ulf said. “The moon! I need to see the moon!”

  Tiana twisted the round end of the spoon. “The moon’s in the spoon,” she said. “Look.”

  The shiny spoon was reflecting the light from the window. In its polished metal Ulf saw the moon, full and bright.

  His eyes flashed silver.

  Chapter 23

  THE HAIR ON ULF’S HANDS STARTED SPREADING. His nails lengthened, turning into claws. He dug them into the roasting tray, tearing the metal. A sharp pain shot down Ulf’s spine. He could feel his backbone stretching and the bones in his chest cracking. His skeleton was realigning. His tail was emerging. He could feel his muscles flexing, snapping the ropes around his wrists and ankles, ripping his T-shirt and jeans. Thick dark hair was growing over his whole body. His fangs split through his gums and his tongue started dripping with saliva. His lower jaw thrust forward as his face twisted into that of a wolf.

  He burst open the oven door and leaped onto the floor. He threw his head back and howled. Tiana flew down in a flurry of sparkles.

  “Hurry, Ulf!” she said. “You’ve got to save Orson!”

  Ulf scrambled out of the kitchen, then bounded across the oil rig on all fours. He leaped into the warehouse. Franco Ravioli was standing on Orson’s chest with his carving knife raised.

  Ulf howled and the chef turned toward him.

  “Mamma Mia!” Franco Ravioli said. He threw the carving knife at Ulf.

  Ulf ducked and the knife whistled past his ear, sticking into a crate. Franco Ravioli threw the silver bowl at Ulf. Ulf leaped into the air and the bowl clattered against a barrel.

  The chef lifted his apron. Underneath, tucked into his belt, was a meat cleaver. He ran toward Ulf, holding the cleaver above his head, shouting: “Attaco! Attaco!”

  Ulf was too fast. He ducked, grabbed the chef and spun him around, sending him crashing against the stack of pipes. The pipes fell on Franco Ravioli’s head, knocking him out.

  Ulf turned and snarled at the guests.

  The guests screamed.

  “Finish him, Bone!” Baron Marackai called.

  The big man picked up a metal chain and swung it around his head. “Want some of this?” he said to Ulf.

  “Up here, Ulf!” Tiana called. Ulf looked up. The fairy was hovering above the cauldron. “Quick! The water’s bubbling!” she said.

  Ulf could smell the sea monster cooking. He growled at Bone, then leaped, springing high into the air, hooking his claws on to the rim of the cauldron. As he grabbed the cauldron, it swung on the hook.

  The guests ran from their chairs.

  “Sit down, ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy the entertainment,” Baron Marackai said. He turned to Bone. “Get that werewolf!” the Baron ordered.

  Ulf was swinging the cauldron back and forth, trying to tip it. The hot water was sloshing and splashing. The sea monster’s tentacles were reaching up, twisting and curling.

  Bone smashed the chain across Ulf’s leg. Ulf howled as one of his paws slipped from the cauldron.

  The water was starting to boil. One by one, the sea monster’s tentacles went limp over the rim. Its black suckers were dripping oil.

  “Ulf! Watch out!” Tiana called.

  Bone swung the chain and it smashed against Ulf’s back. Ulf howled, clinging on by a claw. He kicked his legs, swinging the cauldron high into the air. Then he pulled as hard as he could. The cauldron tilted on the hook and turned upside down.

  The sea monster slid from the cauldron, crashing down in a torrent of hot water, sending the gas cylinders flying across the warehouse.

  Ulf tumbled to the floor. As he scrambled to his feet, Bone swung the chain at him. Ulf grabbed hold of it and pulled, sending the big man flying into an iron girder.

  “Get up, Bone!” Baron Marackai ordered.

  Bone lay on the floor, rubbing his head.

  The sea monster’s tentacles began moving. They started whipping around the warehouse, thumping into barrels and gas cylinders, and smashing crates against the walls.

  The guests screamed and scattered, trying to escape. They slipped and slid on the floor. It was flooded with hot water.

  “Help! Sacré bleu! Tasukette! Ayuda! Ach nein, monster!”

  Dr. Fielding was tied to her chair. She was rocking from side to side, shuffling to the wall.

  “Bone! Get that werewolf!” the Baron shouted. “You too, Blud!”

  Blud and Bone ran for the doors.

  “Come back, cowards!” Baron Marackai called.

  Franco Ravioli got up from the floor, rubbing his head. He ran out of the warehouse. “I never cook for you again!”

  From his coa
t pocket, the Baron took out a pistol and loaded it with a shiny bullet. “You’re giving me indigestion, werewolf,” he said.

  He cocked the trigger, pointing the pistol at Ulf. “Prepare to die!”

  But as the Baron fired, a tentacle whipped in front of Ulf and the bullet ricocheted off its barnacles.

  The sea monster was pulling itself along the floor by its suckers. It was sliding toward the Baron. It crashed a tentacle down onto the table, smashing it to pieces. Wood, glass, plates and cutlery flew in all directions.

  Baron Marackai quickly loaded more bullets into his pistol and started shooting at the sea monster. “Get it away from me!” he shouted.

  The bullets bounced off the sea monster’s shell. It wrapped a tentacle around the Baron’s waist.

  “Noooo!” the Baron cried, bashing the tentacle with his empty gun. He threw the gun down and started pulling at the suckers. The sea monster was dragging itself to the open end of the warehouse, heading for the sea. The tentacle lifted him into the air.

  “Put me dow—” The Baron’s head banged on a sign saying LOADING AREA—DANGER OF FALLING! The tentacle gripping him reached out through the open doors, dangling the Baron high above the sea.

  With a loud bellow the sea monster dragged itself out of the warehouse and over the edge of the oil rig, taking Baron Marackai with it.

  Ulf looked down. By the light of the full moon, he could see Baron Marackai falling, held in the grip of the sea monster.

  “I’ll be baaaaaaaaaack!” the Baron screamed.

  There was a loud splash as the sea monster and the Baron disappeared beneath the waves.

  Ulf licked his fangs and growled.

  Tiana hovered beside him. “Good riddance,” she said, looking down into the water.

  Just out from the oil rig, Ulf saw Blud, Bone and the fat chef motoring away in Baron Marackai’s boat. In the sky above, he could hear the helicopter flying off with the guests.

  He ran to Dr. Fielding and bit through her ropes.

  She tore the gag from her mouth, and hugged him. “You saved us, Ulf,” she said.

  Ulf scrambled to Orson. The giant was lying on his back on the floor in a pool of hot water. He was no longer blue. He was defrosting.

  “Wake up, Orson,” Tiana said. She was fluttering around his head, showering him with sparkles.

  Dr. Fielding put her hand on Orson’s wrist, checking his pulse. “He’s alive!” she said.

  The hot water from the cauldron had raised his body temperature. He was waking up from the ice sleep. Ulf gave Orson’s face a lick. The giant’s eyes opened and he shook his head.

  “Are you okay?” Tiana asked him.

  “That Captain makes a strong brew,” the giant said. Then he looked around. “Where are we?”

  Dr. Fielding and Tiana both smiled, and Ulf’s lip curled, showing his fangs.

  At that moment, the sound of a human voice came from the sea below. “Is everything all right up there?”

  Ulf padded to the open door and saw an orange boat on the water below. A man was shining a spotlight up at the oil rig. “What’s going on up there?” he called. It was an inspector from NICE.

  Dr. Fielding stepped to the edge and looked down. “Dr. Fielding here,” she called. “Everything’s over now.”

  “Who’s that you’ve got with you, Dr. Fielding?” the inspector called, shining his spotlight on Ulf.

  Ulf threw his head back and howled at the moon.

  Chapter 24

  THE NEXT MORNING, WHEN ULF WOKE UP IN the straw in his den, he licked his teeth, feeling where his fangs had been. His body had returned to that of a boy. He looked out at the sky. The sun was shining. It would be a whole month until his next transformation.

  Outside his door, a pair of jeans and a T-shirt were folded, ready for him to put on. He got dressed, then washed his face in a bucket of water and headed up the track to Farraway Hall.

  Tiana came flying to meet him, weaving along the paddock fence. “Morning, Ulf,” she said.

  “Morning, Tiana.”

  “You were brave last night,” she told him.

  “Was I?” Ulf asked.

  “Don’t you remember? You saved Orson and Dr. Fielding, and the sea monster.”

  Ulf smiled. “Where is Dr. Fielding?” he asked.

  “She’s with Orson in the flower garden. We’re all waiting for you.”

  Tiana flew off and Ulf followed her to the garden at the back of Farraway Hall. Dr. Fielding was holding a wreath of flowers. Orson was leaning on a shovel next to a pile of earth. His hair was combed and he was wearing his best shirt.

  “Good morning, Ulf,” they both said.

  In the flower garden, Ulf saw a deep rectangular hole dug in the ground.

  “It’s a grave,” Tiana whispered. “It’s for Professor Farraway.”

  “Druce showed us the room,” Dr. Fielding said, putting her arm around Ulf’s shoulder. “Baron Marackai must have brought that key with him. I didn’t give it to him. That room has been locked for years.”

  Orson picked up a long canvas bundle that lay beside the grave.

  “The Professor’s bones,” Tiana whispered.

  Dr. Fielding had wrapped Professor Farraway’s skeleton in a ship’s sail from the Room of Curiosities. “He deserves a proper funeral,” she said.

  Ulf, Dr. Fielding and Tiana watched as Orson gently laid the wrapped bones into the hole in the ground. Then he took his shovel and covered them with earth.

  “The Professor was murdered,” Ulf said. “He came home from his expedition with a flask of sea-monster venom.”

  Ulf looked into the grave. “He discovered Marackai’s beast collection and told Marackai to leave. Marackai used the venom to poison him.”

  Orson looked at Ulf. “Thank you for saving my life, Ulf,” he said.

  “Marackai probably thought that if he killed his father then this place would be his,” Dr. Fielding said. “He can’t have known the Professor would leave him nothing in his will.”

  “He wanted to take it from us,” Ulf said.

  “And he would have succeeded if it hadn’t been for you, Ulf.”

  Dr. Fielding held Ulf’s hand as they stood at the graveside and said farewell to Professor Farraway.

  “Bye-bye, Professor,” a voice gurgled.

  Ulf looked back at the house and saw Druce the gargoyle leering down from the edge of the rooftop. Druce bowed his head then turned to stone.

  Orson picked up a large slab of rock, one that he’d fetched from Troll Crag. He stood it upright at one end of the grave. On it he’d carved the words:

  PROFESSOR FARRAWAY

  RIP

  Dr. Fielding bent down, placing her wreath of flowers on the grave. “You would have been proud of Ulf, Professor,” she whispered.

  Tiana flew down and laid a petal beside it.

  Ulf traced the letters on the gravestone with his finger. “What does RIP mean?” he asked.

  “Rest in peace,” Tiana told him.

  “He’ll like it in the flower garden,” Orson said. “And he’ll make good fertilizer, too.” The giant flattened the earth with the back of his shovel, then walked away from the grave.

  “Come on, Ulf,” Dr. Fielding said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

  Ulf stood up, then looked to the window of the library. “I just need to do something,” he said.

  He walked to the house and went inside, heading up the stairs and along the Gallery of Science. He weaved through the Room of Curiosities to the door of the library. He stepped inside.

  Ulf could hear the haunted rocking chair rocking back and forth in the corner. He crept to the far wall and stood in front of the painting. In the gloom he could still make out the Professor’s friendly eyes.

  “You can rest in peace now, Professor. We know what happened.”

  Just then, the candle flickered on.

  “Professor?”

  The candle was lighting up the painting.

  “I
t’s over, Professor,” Ulf said. “Marackai’s gone.”

  The candle flickered.

  In front of it, on the table, an invisible finger was writing in the dust:

  HE’LL NEVER GIVE UP.

  The end…for now