“Sure thing, Tiger.” He winks, taking my hand to help me out of the daydream booth.
I fear he’s going to say something, but he’s kind enough to let me sit in silence all the way to the hotel. “Okay. Thank you for dinner, and - I owe you a sandwich, or something.” A sandwich? “I’ll see you at work.” I jump out of the car, trying to run away from my humiliation. Ben follows right behind me though. “I can make it from here.”
“I’m sure you can, but I’m still going to walk you to your door. Don’t argue with me. It’s how I was brought up. I promise you don’t have to buy me an extra sandwich for it. One is good enough.” He laughs, following behind me with a bad boy ease and a confidence that makes me wonder what he is thinking. Whatever it is, I hope I can deny him.
All I can think about is him in my bed for the night—the entire night. Maybe I can think of a reason that might make that okay. Hopefully, by the time we reach my door, I can’t. We ease into the elevator in silence. I try not to look his way, walking slightly ahead of him until we stop at my room. “Well, thanks again. I’ll get you that sandwich soon.” I laugh, losing my balance and turning toward him. Realizing how close he is, I instinctively reach out, laying my hand against his chest. Regaining my composure, I straighten my arm to maintain distance between us.
Ben takes hold of my hand, and all I can do is stare as he leans in with a gentle caress of his lips and kisses my cheek. “Don’t worry. I’m not staying. Not this time.” He kisses the back of my hand and releases me before walking away with an easy smile.
His final words startle me out of my daze. “No. We are not going out again.” He winks at me as he steps back into the elevator. “Ben, no. We are not. Ben!” I yell back at him as the doors close. Racing inside, I storm through the balcony doors, searching for him. “Ben?” I yell until he pops up on my balcony again.
“Miss me already?” He smiles wide, knowing exactly what he’s doing and pissing me off in the process.
“Stop doing that. The hotel is going to think I have some kind of crazy person hanging around. And. And don’t act like we are going to go out again, or that anything is ever going to happen between us. Because it’s not. I don’t even like you that much.” I ramble on as he watches, smiling. “Ben?”
“What Laila?”
“Are you listening to me?”
“Yes.”
“Then respond. Say you understand what I’m telling you.”
“I understand what you’re saying, and I understand what you want.”
“I don’t want anything from you.”
“You want me to kiss you right now.” I shake my head, telling myself to back away but finding myself moving closer. “Don’t shake your head. You know I’m right.”
The heat of his breath against my lips makes me crave him more. My resolve slips, and I waver on the verge of giving in. He stops just short of our lips coming together. “What are you doing?”
“Go out with me—on a real date. Let me plan a perfect night for you.”
“No, Ben,” I breathe against his lips.
“Then I’m not going to kiss you until you do.” He backs off, giving me a wink before jumping off my balcony and walking towards his car.
“Ben!” I yell after him as he waves goodbye.
I need a distraction from Ben, and Cole has been eager to get together since we last saw each other. My schedule has finally allowed a night together, and as always, he’s the perfect gentleman. He takes me to one of our old places for dinner, where we would share a slice and a soda. This time we don’t share, but we laugh just the same. Cole takes my hand and holds on. I feel like a kid again, blushing at his adoring eyes. “You haven’t changed at all. You still make me blush simply by looking at me.”
“I like making you blush. It means I still have a chance.”
“A chance? You always have better than a chance, you know that.”
“Then why are we still here? Let’s go back to your place?” Cole pays the check, assuming I won’t say no. I never said yes, but I didn’t say no either. I’m not sure why or what was stopping me from fully accepting his offer. I assume it will be easier, clearer, once we are alone. We walk into my hotel room, and I open the balcony doors, noticing the people outside on the street, going to and from the nearby bars. Cole and I barely say a word before he leans in to kiss me. It feels good to be with him again, to feel loved. My shirt is off and thrown to the side with my bra and pants following soon after. “Nice underwear, Laila. They’re sexy as hell,” Cole comments while freeing himself of the last of his own clothes and pulling out the condom he had ready for tonight. Lying back on the bed, staring up at him, something feels wrong, and I can’t figure out what it is. I try to ignore it, try to accept the situation, because he’s all I’ve ever wanted. Cole admires my panties for a second. “These aren’t like you at all,” he says, thinking nothing of it.
“Why?”
“What?”
“Why are they not like me at all?” I sit up, holding him off. “My underwear. Why do you seem so amused by them?”
“They just aren’t like you. You’re not girly. You’re not the sexy lingerie type. It’s alright though. I like your rugged attitude. It’s different than …”
“Than who?”
“Than nobody. Laila, what is wrong with you?”
“Why did we come here, Cole? How come we didn’t go to your place?” The look on his face is telling. “You have a girlfriend?” He shakes his head and sighs. “That’s why we went somewhere out of the way and came here. Your phone kept going off. Someone is trying to reach you, Cole. Who is it?”
“No one, Laila. Damn. No one special at least. You know me. I’m always seeing someone, but I’m here with you now. I want to be here with you.”
“And tomorrow?”
Cole throws up his hands in confusion. “What about tomorrow? What are you asking me, Laila? You want a commitment from me? This is the first time we’ve spent any time together since you’ve been back.”
“Yet it’s okay to be in bed together.”
“It’s not our first time together. We have fun. We enjoy each other. Why is that so wrong?”
“It’s not wrong, it’s just …”
“Just what? If you’re looking for something long term, Laila, I don’t know that I can do that right now. Yes, I’m seeing someone else, but she’s completely different from you.”
“How?”
“Does it matter? Come on.” Cole leans me back and kisses me until I turn my head from him. “I’ve thought about being with you since we ran into each other. I know you have too. Why are you making this difficult? It’s not like you.”
“I don’t want to be your side girl, Cole. If we are together, then I don’t want you with anyone else. I didn’t think it would bother me, but I’m not a kid anymore. I want more.”
“Are you serious? We are not going to have sex unless I agree to not see anyone but you? I love you, Laila. I always have, but you have never been the commitment type. You’re fun and exciting, not the settle down and have a family type.” I realize the goals I had for our relationship are not the same goals he ever considered. “Oh no, don’t be mad. Come here.” Cole wraps his arms around me and kisses my head. “I didn’t even know you felt that way. If I had ...” He groans, falling in next to me. “I need time to think. I’m not going to lie to you just to have sex. I care about you too much to ever do that.” He wraps us both in the blankets and holds me through the night. He doesn’t leave, and we don’t get dressed, a mistake I shouldn’t have made. Sometime in the middle of the night, he finally convinces me, and I wake up in his arms being the woman I’ve always been and nothing more.
CHAPTER 10
Ben
Laila walks into the team room and immediately diverts her eyes from me. She has been doing her best not to talk to me alone for over a week. She thinks I am afraid to be turned down in front of the others. I’m not afraid at all, I expect it. My plan is to wear he
r down until she has to say yes. I don’t know what’s holding her back. I know she wanted more when we were together, but I stopped it from happening. I don’t want it to be a one night fling that we both forget about. I want something more. Laila is not going to make it easy for me. I imagine she doesn’t make anything easy for anyone. The more I get to know her, the more I’m willing to wait. After I finish my weekly talk with Titus, I need something to put me in a better mood, and she’s my answer.
“Laila, you’re with me today. The standard equipment is fine. Meet me at my car when you’re ready.” She sighs in the cutest, disappointed way. I am sure she’s hoping it will detract me, but it only accomplishes the opposite.
She slowly walks to my car, looking everywhere but at me. “You good?” She nods, sliding into the passenger seat and focusing out the window. She won’t even ask where we are going, and I know it’s killing her not to know. She is waiting for me to offer the information without prompting, but I’m not going to. She turns as if she’s going to ask, but as soon as I meet eyes with her and wink, she turns away. We spend a solid ten minutes playing this back and forth game that I’m enjoying more than I should.
“For the love of God, Ben, will you just tell me where we are going already?” she says, waving her hands at me. “And stop laughing. You are doing this on purpose.”
“I need to meet with a couple of Titus’s business partners. You’re my guard for the day.”
“Why you? I thought Nathan was Titus’s right-hand man?”
“Contrary to what you may think, I am much more likeable than Nathan and am better equipped to sell.”
“What are you selling?”
“Titus. I handle keeping his relationships in good standing. Titus only handles the touchy situations himself. I keep them notified and make sure they are being honest on their end.”
“Your charm disarms them and they show you their true colors?”
“That’s part of it.”
“So, what do these people do for Titus exactly?”
“I don’t know.” She cocks her head in disbelief. “Titus is very protective of information. No matter how much he lets me do, he makes sure I know very little about the details. I have my assumptions and theories, but I am never privy to any solid evidence.”
“Don’t you want to know more?”
“No.” She watches me closely as if trying to decide if I am telling the truth. “I don’t want more power, Laila. I don’t need more money, and I certainly don’t care to have any more targets on my back than I already do just working for the man. I’m happy where I’m at.” She doesn’t push for much else.
She does as I ask without argument and watches my back as I walk into an office to talk to one of Titus’s early advisors, a man who manages to know before anyone else. His office says he’s an exterminator, but his real job is information. I’m not allowed to know how he gets it or where he gets it, but I am not stupid. The information he gets could only come from planting the bugs not exterminating them. I bring him a package, which is most likely money, but again, I’m not allowed to know. It’s a pretty normal meeting for me. We shake hands, I introduce Laila, and we talk—bullshit mostly. On my way out, I slide the package into his outgoing mail. I assume Laila, who is walking ahead of me, won’t notice. Wrong. Not only does she notice, she was looking for it. She doesn’t say a word, but after I dropped the package, I caught her looking through the glass door to watch me. We stop by one more place, and again, she watches me closely, too closely for routine curiosity.
“Where are we going to next?” she asks in much better spirits than earlier.
“Lunch. I believe you owe me a sandwich.” I drive us to an ice cream shop that uses only fresh vegetables and fruits. You can name exactly what you want and how you want it. The mom and pop place has been around forever, and the moment I walk in, the old man raises his hands up in the air with happiness.
“Benjamin,” he says in his Old Italian accent. He rushes over to greet me warmly. “Titus keeping you busy these days? I haven’t seen you in some time.”
“There has been a lot going on since we lost one.”
“Oh yes, I heard. Very sad. But who is this? You have a new girl?” Pop steps to the side to admire Laila. “Bellisimo! She’s beautiful, Benjamin. Now I know why you haven’t been around in so long.” He shakes his finger at me with a laugh.
“Pop, this is Laila. She’s my new team member,” I announce as he takes her hand. Leaning over, I whisper, “But I am looking to impress, so can you work up some of that special voodoo and get her to go out with me again?”
“Ben!” Laila smacks my arm, not that I was trying to hide my words from her.
“I know just the thing.” Pop turns, showing me the palm of his hand. “She will be eating out of your hand. Just leave it to me.” I laugh as he runs off to make us something special. I show her to my favorite table, enjoying her angry glare.
“I’m not going out with you again. I am only here with you now because I am your body guard.”
“If you say so. Hey, is it considered sexual harassment if I tell you that I have enjoyed you guarding my body today?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, well then I haven’t enjoyed it at all,” I say, causing that adorable, frustrated sigh which I have come to love. Laila stares everywhere other than me, even when I try to get her attention. She dodges left, I go left. She goes right, I go right until she tenses and puts her fist down on the table.
“Ben.”
“Laila.”
“Why do you even want to go out with me?”
“I don’t understand the question.”
“Yes you do. You only want to go out with me because it’s a challenge. As soon as I give in, you will get bored and want someone else.”
I consider her words and shake my head. “No, that’s not it.” She folds her arms, and I know she’s had enough. I offer to change the subject. “By the way, be careful watching Titus’s business too close. If Nathan had caught you watching me drop those packages off today, you would be getting drilled about your motives for being here, especially since your father is Chief of Police.”
“He’s my foster father, and I explained that,” she defends with an uneasy tone.
“You can explain your feelings all day, but that doesn’t make it true. Don’t worry. You don’t have to explain anything to me. Just be careful. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” When she looks down, I sneak my hand in and take hers. Her skin is so soft. I am surprised she allows me the moment and is accepting of me touching her. I rub her hand gently with my thumb. “Laila …”
“Laila!” somebody yells from behind me. I turn to see Cole Shepherd walking up to us. Laila releases my hand and smiles wide. Oh, you have got to be kidding me? Shepherd looks us over, knowing she pulled away from me when she saw him. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
“No, of course not.” Laila stands up and hugs him, staring at him like a love-struck school girl. “Would you like to sit and join us?”
Shepherd glances my way with a smile. “No, I have to get back to work, but when I saw your beautiful face, I had to come over.” He holds his arm around her, touching her face and laughing as he tells her about his boring ass day. “Then, the man says, ‘So what does that mean for me?’” He laughs, and I roll my eyes. “Can you believe that?” She shakes her head, laughing about his stupid story. “Enough about me. How are you, Laila? We haven’t talked since the other night.”
“Um, Cole, this is my co-worker …”
“Yeah. How are you, Ryder?”
“Just perfect Shepherd.”
“And your brother? Last I saw Luca, he was threatening to kick my ass. The Ryders have some anger issues,” he explains to Laila with snarky attitude.
“We have anger issues? You’re the one that tried to burn down our bar.”
“It was an accident. Those table candles are slippery.”
“Yeah, funny how I never saw a ca
ndle in there before you lit up half my stage.”
“It was my bar, which you stole.” Shepherd steps closer, forcing me to stand.
Laila quickly moves between us. “So you two know each other. Sounds like a long story that maybe we can discuss another time?”
Shepherd smiles, turns away from me and back to her. “How about tonight you and I go to dinner and a movie? I can pick you up at seven? We have a lot to talk about.”
“That would be great, Cole.”
“Good. I can’t wait.” He hugs her before turning back to me. “Take care of my girl, Ryder.” He stakes his claim, proudly knowing something I don’t, but considering how Laila is watching him walk away, I have a good idea what it is.
She sits down, giddy and excited, with a smile I haven’t seen before. “Are you kidding me? You and Daisy?”
“Daisy?”
“Yeah, Shepherd. He comes off as this sweet, innocent flower, but he’s an asshole.”
“He’s not an asshole. I’ve known him my whole life. We were in the same foster home for a while. We’ve been best friends since …”
“Oh my God. You’ve slept with him? You had sex with Daisy? Ew.”
“His name is not Daisy, and Cole is not ew. He’s handsome and wonderful and …”
“Oh, stop. I’m getting nauseous. I can’t believe you. Look at you, you’re all googly eyed over—over Daisy. You can’t seriously think he would make you happy?” She stares at me in confusion. “He’s not your type, Laila. He’s too boring. Besides, how many other women is that jackass seeing right now?”
Undercover: Secrets & Lies Page 8
