by Cindi Madsen
“I’d choose a different word,” I said, which made her laugh harder, which made me laugh.
A shiver racked her body, and I quickly shed my jacket and draped it around her.
Her face fell, and it made me remember that we’d been about to have a shitty conversation, one I didn’t want to finish, but knew I had to. Could’ve used a few more seconds enjoying the adrenaline buzz, but such is life.
“My shoes,” she said.
My brain searched for context but couldn’t find any. “Your shoes?”
She bit her lip. “Not sure whether to tell this to a future lawyer or not, but I left my shoes at the scene of the crime. Really they’re at the spot before the off-limits area, so I can just claim that I kicked my shoes off there but never crossed, right?”
“Sure,” I said. “I’ve never heard of anyone being convicted because of a pair of shoes.”
“Convicted?” The bold girl who’d brazenly ignored warning signs turned genuinely worried. “Wait. Don’t they catch people because of their shoeprint sometimes? That’s pretty much the same thing as shoes.”
I cupped both of her cheeks and tilted her face up so her eyes would meet mine. “You’re not going to be convicted of anything. We could argue a hundred things. Circumstantial evidence, too dark to see the glowing sign…” I flashed her a teasing smile. “Temporary insanity.” I looked deep into her eyes, switching back to reassuring mode. “I’ll take care of you, I promise.”
A warm, squishy sensation flooded me as she threw her arms around my middle and nuzzled my neck with her nose. “My hero.”
Not even close. I really wished I was, though.
“I mean superhero,” Gwen said. “Even though I’m still not sure which one we settled on. Hulk was the one you wanted to be, right?”
Some of our superhero jokes seemed a lifetime ago, and yet they were part of why I’d fallen so hard for this girl. It was as much of a challenge to keep up with her brain as it was her mouth.
We were a handful of feet from our room—the room I didn’t want to step inside because then I’d have to finish the conversation I’d barely started and never wanted to finish. I wished I didn’t have to ruin us with something as simple yet complicated as the truth.
Only as I dug into my pocket to retrieve our room key, a figure emerged from the shadows.
Gwen tensed at my side. “Paige?”
The blond bridesmaid stepped into a pool of light that revealed her slightly disheveled state and red-rimmed eyes. “Gwen, please. I just really need to talk to you now, before you head back to North Carolina. Everything’s changing, and it feels like I have no one, and I know it’s my fault, but…” Her chin quivered and tears spilled down her cheeks, taking what little mascara she had left with them. “If you can forgive Kyle, why can’t you forgive me? I’m way sorrier than he is.” She frowned as if she’d realized how that sounded. “That came out wrong. But, Gwen, you were like my sister.”
Gwen looked at me. I shrugged—it was so out of my league, and I could hardly be fair when it came to how much I wanted her to be able to forgive someone. I hated that her supposed friend hurt her so badly, but if I told her not to forgive Paige, the same could be said about not forgiving me. Even if I liked to think mine was driven by purer reasons. Which probably made me even guiltier.
“I know we were kind of in the middle of something,” Gwen said, her hand coming up on the center of my chest, right over the spot where my heart beat solely for her. “A lot of things.”
“It’s okay. It can wait,” I said.
Gwen sighed, an invisible weight pressing down her shoulders, and I saw the effort it took to smooth her expression to a more neutral one. Then she turned toward the still-sobbing bridesmaid. “Okay, we can talk,” she said, and Paige surged forward and hugged her. Gwen awkwardly patted her head and it might’ve made me laugh if I didn’t see the edge of hurt and other conflicting emotions in her big hazel eyes.
“What do you want me to do?” I mouthed. I’d be there as they talked if she wanted me to be, in spite of the panicky feeling that rose at the thought of tear-filled conversations and how clueless I’d be on how to help or fix it, or any damn thing.
“You have a room nearby?” Gwen asked Paige, who straightened and sniffed loudly.
“Yeah. A couple of doors down. Don’t worry, Kyle’s not staying with me tonight.”
Gwen flinched slightly but hid it fairly well. Her gaze flickered to me. “Go ahead and settle in, and I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She wrapped my jacket tighter around herself. “But just so you know, much like your hoodie, I’m keeping your jacket.”
“I’ll freeze to death come winter, woman.” I kept my tone light and teasing, and even though it sucked to have this ticking time bomb over my head, I was glad I hadn’t had the chance to come clean quite yet. Then Gwen might also be crying right now, and she’d already had to deal with so much emotional shit tonight. As hard as it would be, once she got some closure with Paige, whatever level of closure it was, I knew she’d feel better about this trip. Just like I knew she was strong enough to handle it without getting walked over.
Not that I was letting myself off the hook. I hated that she’d get back only to deal with more, but I couldn’t go one more night pretending to be my brother.
I pulled Gwen to me for a hug and a way too quick kiss. I used the hotel key to open the door, propping it with my foot and then dropping the key into Gwen’s hand. “Call me if you need me and I’ll be right over.”
She nodded and sucked in a fortifying breath. I watched the two girls walk down the way and disappear into Paige’s hotel room. Once they were safely inside, I went into our room and leaned against the closed door. I let my head drop back and then lifted it and let it drop one more time.
As soon as Gwen returned, I’d come clean. Then I’d get started on apologizing and begging for her to give me a chance to prove that I was the guy she fell for. The guy who liked her exactly the way she was.
The guy should be with.
Forever.
27 Gwen
As quietly as possible, I padded toward the hotel room I was sharing with Evan. I was completely wrung out, both emotionally and physically. Paige and I had talked and talked and cried and talked some more and cried some more.
Every time I thought we were out of words and tears, another wave would come rushing forward. Paige had confessed to being jealous of me and what I had, and it’d led to some self-sabotaging behavior that’d also involved sabotaging me. She admitted her behavior had been wrong and horrible, and basically told me she understood things would never be the same, but that the guilt was eating her up inside and she missed me. Then she’d added that she hoped we could at least be something close to friends someday.
Honestly, I still didn’t know. I told her I forgave her, surprised that once the words passed my lips, I found I meant them. Like I said, she’d always needed validation from guys, and while I’d been guilty of wanting that—and maybe even needing it from time to time—I was glad that I was more than who I was dating.
I had my job and Tori, and even if my dad didn’t see it, I’d learned how to be okay on my own. Which made it even better when I found someone who complemented me so nicely, from our chemistry to the conversations we had, to encouraging me and telling me how much he believed in me.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I whipped it out, expecting another text asking how it was going from the very guy I’d been thinking about.
But the text was from a number I didn’t have saved in my phone.
Unknown number: I miss you.
I considered ignoring it, but curiosity got the best of me.
Me: Who is this?
Unknown number: Your boyfriend.
Unknown number: I didn’t realize what I had. You’re so much cooler than other girls and I miss you like crazy.
Clearly he’d gotten the wrong number, and if he was trying to get in touch with this girl he missed, I hated to get
in the way. In fact, in spite of the up and downs Evan and I had the past two days, optimism had wiggled its way back in, and I was feeling rather Team Love in general.
When he’d first started talking about how there were things I didn’t know about him, I’d been so worried I’d handed my heart over to a guy who was dumping me. Before we’d been interrupted by Mr. Overeager Security Guard, Evan had mentioned his family. If he thought something like who his family was would change how much I cared about him, he was dead-wrong, and I couldn’t wait to tell him that and put his mind at ease so we could finally cross that last line and go all in.
Me: Sorry. Wrong number. Hope you get a hold of her, though. She sounds awesome.
Since I was feeling extra generous, I decided to channel my inner cupid.
Me: Also, if you took her for granted, my advice would be do something big to show her how much you care. Be there for her. Girls like that kind of thing.
Regretful Dude didn’t reply, so I slid the hotel key into the slot, waited for the light to turn green, and sighed when I stepped inside.
A moment ago, exhaustion had hung so heavy on me that walking the few yards to my room seemed overwhelming, yet the thought of a hotel bed and Evan awoke every cell in my body, and they all wanted to finish what we’d started at the pool.
“Evan?”
The bed was empty, but the TV was on, the volume turned low. When I swung my gaze to the left, I caught sight of his large frame in one of the hotel chairs. He was draped at an odd angle, his neck hanging in a way that would leave a kink for sure. If I had to guess, I’d say he’d fallen asleep there as opposed to deciding it’d be a great place to spend the night.
I turned off the TV and dug my pajamas out of my bag, beyond ready to get out of my dress. My hair had dried into a tangled curly knot, but since there was nothing to be done about it besides wash my hair and start over tomorrow morning, I pushed it over my shoulder.
The comforter and sheets took a bit of tugging to come free from their tightly tucked position, but after peeling them back, I rounded the end of the bed and gently shook Evan’s shoulder.
“Hey,” I said. “Crawl into bed with me.”
His eyelids fluttered open and then drooped again. “No. Need to talk.”
“You sound like me on Benadryl. We’ll talk tomorrow. Right now, we both need sleep.” I dragged his heavy ass out of the chair and maneuvered him over to the bed. He was still mumbling when I climbed in beside him.
“Shhh.” I ran a finger down his nose and tapped it to his lips. I skirted it across his jaw and his breathing slowed again, the muttered words fading into nothing. When I snuggled up to him, his arm came around me. He curled me tight to his body and tucked my head under his chin.
Not exactly the steamy night I’d originally pictured, but as I drifted to sleep, a feeling that could only be described as love washed over me, whisking me off to a land where happily ever afters came true.
28 Ethan
Sleep had a tight hold of me, yet it was trying to kick me out of its grasp at the same time. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept that soundly, and I don’t think I’d ever been so comfortable in my life. As my consciousness slowly stretched and spread, I registered the warm body wrapped around me.
Happiness washed over me, and I smiled down at the beautiful redhead in my arms. Her head was on my shoulder, her leg hooked over both of mine like she’d been afraid I’d get away.
I dragged my fingertips down the soft skin of her arm, soaking in her sigh and her scent and how perfectly she fit next to me. Blips of memories from last night came back to me in spurts. The wedding. Drinking way too much.
Dancing with Gwen.
Drinking even more.
The photo booth.
Kissing Gwen.
Ignoring hazard signs and breaking into the pool.
My heart thumped harder as I recalled her in nothing but her underwear. Of kissing every inch of skin I could get my mouth on. Of the sweet taste of her arousal and the way her skin had flushed and her body had gone pliant when she came against my mouth, my fingers deep inside her.
Other parts of me woke up, one in particular.
But then the memories I didn’t want came rushing back as well. How she told me she trusted me. Of starting to tell her the truth, only to get interrupted not once, but twice.
I’d purposely sat in that uncomfortable chair in the corner of the hotel room for hours, determined not to fall asleep.
Fuzzier moments bobbed to the surface, of Gwen tucking me into bed. I’d tried to tell her that we still needed to talk, but my words hadn’t been making it all the way from my brain to my tongue.
A wave of misery rose up, washing away all of the good. As amazing as this whole trip had been, I was going to have to come clean once Gwen woke up.
Anxious and stir-crazy, I sat up and reached for my phone. Even when I pushed the buttons, it remained blank.
The battery must’ve died.
I found my charger and plugged it in, then straightened and looked around the room, trying to figure out where to start on the day. Get showered and dressed so I’d be ready when Gwen woke up? I highly doubted she’d want to make the eight hour drive home with me after I told her who I was, so I also needed to find her a way back to Raleigh.
Maybe I should look up flights.
My phone chimed and vibrated, chirping like crazy, so it must’ve gotten enough battery power to work. And apparently I was super popular this morning, which was weird—with moving back home and my new job not started yet, hardly anyone had been calling or texting me.
Honestly, it’d been nice.
I picked up my phone, cursing the cord for being short enough that I had to hunch over.
Oh, shit. I had multiple calls, voicemail messages, and texts from Evan. I started with the voicemail, thinking it’d have the most information.
My stomach sunk and then churned as he said the past few days really made him realize that there was no one like Gwen, and that he’d missed her more than he thought he would. Enough that he wanted me to stop dropping hints about being friends because he was going to try to make it work.
The first text—sent at one-thirty in the morning—informed me that he’d decided to fly to Pennsylvania at the crack of dawn so we could switch back and he could drive Gwen home himself. Apparently now he’d decided it was important and he should be there for her.
You can’t have her. Angry heat pulsed through my veins, my hand squeezing my phone so tight I was surprised the screen didn’t crack. How dare he think he could just pawn her off on me, then swoop in when I’d been the one there for her.
When I’d been the one to fall for her, no need to party with other women in order to realize how amazing Gwen was.
The second to last text informed me that Evan had landed, and the most recent one—sent ten minutes ago—said I’m here. Where are you?
I jumped at the feel of a hand on my back. Lowering the phone, I twisted toward Gwen. Her eyelids fluttered and she gave me a sleepy smile. “Morning.”
“Morning.” I didn’t know what to do. I was supposed to have more time.
A dark thought entered my mind. Maybe I’d just hurry up and break up with her now and make it nice and ugly. It’d suck and there’d be no chance of us ever being together, but if I stopped being so delusional, I’d admit that there was no chance as it was, and at least then Evan wouldn’t get her either.
Somehow I’d turned into that guy. The villain in the movie who declares “If I can’t have you, no one will.” I might as well add a burst of maniacal laughter and seal my fate.
The hand on my back slipped down to the mattress as Gwen’s eyes fell closed and she drifted back to sleep.
I lifted my phone and texted Evan that we needed to meet at a nearby location. That he should not, under any circumstances, come here.
Evan: too late, bro. I told the lady at the front desk that I’d forgotten my room number and now I’m at the door.
Me: Did your dumbass ever think that if you knocked on the door, Gwen might be the one to answer it?
Evan: Does your dumbass ever answer the phone? I wouldn’t have had to go on a wild goose chase this morning while still hungover to find you.
Me: I’m coming out.
I glanced at Gwen to tell her that I’d be right back, but she was dead to the world, so I shoved my phone in my pocket and charged out the door.
Nearly crashing right into my twin brother.
He and I’d had plenty of fights through the years, including a few physical ones that involved wrestling for the last cookie or something stupid like that, but I’d never wanted to take a swing and clock him right in the face so badly. “What the fuck? You can’t do this to her, Evan. You can’t just stroll back in.”
He lowered his eyebrows, way too blasé about our current situation. “Calm down, dude. The whole purpose of you taking my place was so that I was still there for her in the best way I could be. If I could go back and undo it, I would, but I’m determined to be a better boyfriend now, so don’t get your panties in a twist.” He dug a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and smacked it to my chest. “I booked you a flight home. There’s the info for it.”
“No.”
“If I don’t take the Camaro that I, in theory, drove here, it’ll look suspicious.”
“No,” I repeated through gritted teeth, my fists clenching at my sides.
“What do you mean ‘no?’”
“I mean no to all of it. I’m not flying home, I’m not letting you switch places with me, and Gwen’s coming home with me. So turn around, hop on that flight you booked for me, and we’ll talk about this after we’re all back home.”
“You know the self-righteous act is gettin’ real old.”
“So’s your immature act—only it’s not an act, unfortunately.”
“What’s your problem?” Evan yelled, finally putting enough visual and verbal cues together to realize how pissed I was.
