“Now, you.” I wanted hers gone while we were apart.
“K,” she smiled, tugging slowly at her own straps and kissing the skin at my shoulders just to painfully teased me.
My hands went around and unclasped the clear hook.
I felt her slowly pulling the top off, dragging her fingers across her skin and her own body.
“You’re killing me,” I growled, watching.
She was teasing me, going slow, and I wasn’t sure how to get her to stop without sounding like a needy bitch.
“Something wrong?” She asked. Something told me she knew exactly what she was doing.
“I’m going to explode, fall apart, go insane if you don’t fucking fuck me right now.” I closed my eyes and took breath. “That’s what’s wrong,” I finished.
I felt her push me back down and bite her way down my body. Gone were the days of her being careful.
Her hands didn’t hesitate at all. I felt her right hand slide down my body and dip into my center, pushing in hard. Skin sliding down, dragging, skin. Her fingers found my wetness and sunk deep inside without warning or fear.
Her smile tickled my neck and so did her hair.
“Is that better?” She asked, her voice a whisper at my ear as she panted.
I arched into her hand, pressing down, wishing I could just take in more. “Yes,” I gritted out. She drew her hand back and I chased it, but she stopped me, pushing my body down. I wanted to feel more. I wanted it rougher. She needed to make me remember this even while I was sleeping later. I needed to ache from her.
I wrapped my legs around her and scratched my nails along her back hard enough to leave marks as she pushed into me again. “More.”
“Deeper or more?” She gasped, pushing into me while she wondered.
My intensity had excited her but she didn’t seem scared at all more along the lines of open to requests. “Both,” I breathed. I pulled my hands up to her hair, tugging her down so I could kiss her. She moaned into my mouth and slacked off a little with her hand so I threw my head back and away.
I was going insane, trying to get what I needed. I wanted to touch her but I was afraid she wouldn’t be able to keep up the pace if I did. “You need to restrain me,” I said.
“How?” She asked, breathlessly. The kissing was her favorite. She always got lost in it, found another realm while we were there.
Dazed but persistent, she leaned up and looked around. The room was cute but it didn’t have much to work with, not much that was obvious anyway.
“I don’t know.” I didn’t want to stop. I tried to remember where she dropped my top. I reached over the side of the little bed and felt around, relief washed over me when my fingers touched the soft fabric. I pulled it up and held it between us. “With this.”
“Okay,” she said, panting. She tied it ‘round my hand and then looped it back on the bedframe before tying my other hand too. “I dunno how strong that is though,” she said skeptically even. I knew she did cute little double knots. I knew because I watched her wrists while she did it, the little veins pulling tight, with her force, right beneath her skin.
She ran her hand down my face slowly, teasing me all the while as she led all the way down to my center before touching me again.
“Babe, you’re so sexy,” she said, hesitating to touch. She was looking down on me, waiting.
I didn’t know what I should say. Thank you seemed stupid and so did complimenting her back. Really, I just wanted her to stop staring and start doing. “Yes, and inside sexy there is sex which there should be more of right now… please.” My eyes were wide as I strained to look up at her. The top was holding well. I strained against it, struggling with my instinct to touch her, but it held and that drove me even crazier.
“Oh,” she teased, her eyes closing. “I reeeeally like when you beg.” Her smile was delicious. I felt her hands rubbing me but not in the exact place where I needed her now. She dipped her face down to my thighs and started to kiss. I felt her teeth nip just a bit and I hated her for teasing me.
She laughed just a bit as her body came all the way up on mine again and she held at my face.
“I’m gonna fuck you, okay?” I guess this was her confession. She finally got that perhaps it was cruel?
Before I could speak though she was already inside me. Three fingers, not two, and I felt the backs of her toes pushing down into me, pinning my legs, leading me down into the bed. “Is that okay?” She asked, pushing me deep, this time faster. She was using her whole body now, not just her hand. Her free hand was helping, putting pressure on her wrist. Her entire position was fit to deliver.
“Mmmm, yes,” I struggled to get the answer out. Every part of me was alive. My wrists burned from the fabric around them, my head was buzzing, and I was full with her thrusting her fingers into me at a more frantic pace.
Little animal noises streamed out of me every time she pushed up and I pressed into her hand. I twisted my hands, not even aware of what I was doing. It hurt a little and I liked it. Just like three of her fingers were a little uncomfortable at first. As she went I could feel my body getting used to it. She didn’t stop this time and I could feel an orgasm building inside me, that flip low in my stomach and the momentum of her hand was pushing me over.
I wiggled to get more traction and opened my eyes. She was looking at me and that intense gaze of her loving every second of this pushed me over. Our eyes stayed locked as I came, rocking into her hand again and again. Until that point I’d never believed on every level that she could love me like she seemed to but I saw it, took it in and returned it.
It was more real in those moments than it had been in the entire time. My chest felt heavy with it and I wanted to hug her to me but my hands weren’t free. I pulled and pulled and I knew I could get free but I would break something in the process.
“Untie me,” I breathed.
She moved up my body and helped my hands to be free.
“Babe,” she said heavily, like she couldn’t believe me even though I hadn’t said anything at all. I felt her hold to me, her lips on my shoulder and then my neck as she pulled my hands down from the wrists and allowed me to be free.
I hugged her to my body, feeling the last seconds of intensity from the orgasm leave me. I tucked my face into her neck and just waited. I could feel where the top had been tied around my wrists and I knew that there would be marks there.
“You wreck me,” I told her.
“Such a liar,” she teased, turning her head into my neck and kissing me sweetly. I felt her hand at my hip, her thumb still pressing down. “I want you too much,” she said sadly. “I always want you, all the time.”
“Literally my thoughts exactly.” I was not going to come out of hiding for that. I was so comfortable with my face pressed into her soft skin. “I think we’re pretty equal on the need each other scale.”
I felt her kissing me. “You’re probably right,” she said, her lips and tongue still teasing on all the space. “I like to wreck you and then pamper you.”
She was slowly kissing me everywhere, nudging my head with her own and tasting me bit-by-bit.
“My parents won’t come up here, they hate it. I could tie you up and fuck you slowly all night, no one would know.” She shivered. “It’s actually quite tempting.”
I nearly died when she said that. My eyes snapped open and I pulled her up to look me in the eye. “I want that.” But we couldn’t. There were things back in the world away from just us that were going to happen. “Can we do that instead of this stupid dinner?”
“Shit,” she said, letting out a long sigh. “I forgot about that.”
“I only thought of it because I wonder if anyone’s going to notice these.” I held up my hands so she could see my wrists. The skin was a little red and chaffed. It was obvious that something had happened. “I think I’m going to have to wear long sleeves but it's so worth it.” I grinned.
“Oh, no,” she laughed pitifully, rolling of
f of me and pulling my wrists to her lips. “Baby, why?!” She asked. “I didn’t even use a rope. I had one but I knew it would hurt so I didn’t want-” She let her voice trail off. “Next time we’ll use handcuffs,” she smiled. I felt her roll into me and then rest. “Seriously though, if you like that I have things we can use.”
“It was hot. I knew I wouldn’t be able to help moving and pulling at it and I like the feeling. It was good. It just added to it.” She kissed the burns softly and tucked my hands against her body. “What kind of things?”
“Nothings hard to get,” she said, matter-of-factly. “But I have a box with a few things…” She probably didn’t want to say. “Not up here, but I could bring things up here. What would you like? I can get anything, I know I can.”
“I don’t know. I’ve always been more of an in the moment kind of person but I’m going to have to see this box.” I flipped her, drawing my body hard against hers. “Babe, I’m about to have a seizure, I’m so happy right now. I don’t get how days can be like this. So depressing and painful and wrong and then like this. I feel like I could jump out of this tree and fly. I love you, probably too much for your good.”
“Please don’t try to fly. I know you’d survive but you’d definitely fall into thorn bushes and mess your body up. I’d have to go find my medic bag,” she teased.
“If you insist but seriously if it wasn’t for you I don’t know where I would be except lost.” I tried not to get sad and weird but I couldn’t help it. Every emotion was warring inside of me for prominence.
“You don’t have to think like that,” she said, settling down. I felt her lay still. It was the stillest she’d been since we came up.
“It’s not as if I can help it.” I smiled. “It’s just true. You’re my anchor. I know no matter what is going on I’ve got you and you’ve got me.” That trust made me feel like I was on a high wire in those times of fear. Everything that she did and everything that she was kept me on the wire. I was still in the air because of Olivia.
“Of course I have you,” she said, holding me sweetly. Sometimes I could tell she didn’t know where it all came from with me.
I felt her hand come up into my hair as she felt me on her and tried to calm down.
“I’ll always have you, sweetie,” she said.
“It’s just to me that’s the miraculous part. You aren’t going to leave me.” I got used to the words as I said them. I knew it was true before but now I felt it in every bone. Things are always more real after you touch them or they touch you.
“I hate being apart for even a second,” she laughed worriedly. “How could I leave you? I can’t even stand when you leave to do stupid necessary things like go to the bathroom or take a shower or see your dad? I didn’t even want to leave you to get you water before. My chest hurt. I ran the whole time. It’s stupid. You make me crazy Avery. Of course I’ll never leave.”
I closed my eyes and listened to her voice. “I’m glad it’s not just me,” I whispered. “Do you know I ran all six miles to your house, beating my best time by an obscene amount? I would have run faster if I could.” It was sickening how in love we were. If I heard someone say these things to another person as a bystander I would want to dry heave but feeling it made every difference.
“Did you really keep your time?” She laughed skeptically.
I turned a little red. “Yeah, my watch sends it to my phone.”
“Oh my God,” she laughed, her skin touching mine. “And here I thought you weren’t even coming.”
“Wait… didn’t I just cum?” I giggled and ducked away, waiting for retaliation.
“You would,” she teased. “God, I wish we could stay here forever…”
“That’s what I was thinking earlier.” I looked around, actually noticing our surroundings. The outside was a mini-mansion and the inside was just as nice. Even the walls looked expensive.
“I like it here. No one bothers you when you’re up a tree.” She shifted under me and I settled down into the bed, laying half on her. “Let’s not think about tonight. What are we going to do tomorrow?”
She laughed beneath me. “Whatever you want,” she said. “I don’t care.”
“Will we be alone?” I asked.
“We can be,” she said. “All depends on your dad.”
“Then we will be. I know why he went to confront Ben but that’s not any kind of instant fix to three years of abandonment.” I looked up, pushing air through my lips. “I still don’t know how to feel about that.”
“I like your dad,” Olivia said. “I wanted to hate him because of everything… I like him though…”
“You don’t have to feel any way about him because of me. We just have a lot of issues. Mostly stemming from him leaving us when he should have been a real person and taken care of us. My brother was dead, my mom was useless, and he went to the middle of the ocean three times when he didn’t have to. That’s our history. I hope he’s really changing but don’t get too attached. He tends to drop off the face of the earth.” I couldn’t help the nasty sound of my words. Coming back because he had to and trying to act like he could just slip back into my life wasn’t right. He hadn’t even said he was sorry or admitted it was wrong.
“For that I’ll always hate him,” she said. “But just in general. When he’s here it seems he can be good. He just has a lot to make up for. He probably knows an apology can’t do a damn thing.”
“He could still try.” I rolled back a little. “I guess everything is kind of a mess right now but I don’t know if I have the energy to forgive him.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she said. “And you shouldn’t rush too. Seriously,” she swallowed and thought about it. “Your dad hasn’t been here but he’s here now and he’s trying. I don’t think he’s had much time to get to know you and all of a sudden there’s this thing with me and this thing with Ben. It’s like he crashed onto land and had to scramble to his feet. I’ve seen the way you disappear sometimes. I hate to say that but he probably did that before.”
I rolled off the bed, unable to stay still after hearing that. It sliced into me. My blood pumped hard and fast. I couldn’t even turn around without fear of saying something bad. I tried to swallow it. My skin was cold in the open air but I didn’t shiver. I froze stiff. “We all crashed but it seems like I’m the only one who knew how to swim and I wasn’t the one who was supposed to keep it afloat. You don’t leave your fourteen year old child unless you’re a weak, pathetic person somewhere underneath.”
“Shit,” Olivia said, scrambling up from the bed and coming behind me to hold me. “I know,” she said. “That’s not something he ever should’ve done. Not something he can ever take back… I keep telling you how strong you are and you keep acting like you don’t believe me but I know it’s true.”
“I’m trying.” It took everything I had to trust her in the beginning and this was why. I was conditioned to expect people to die and leave. I knew she could die but I didn’t think she’d ever leave voluntarily. That kind of hope had to come from so far inside me.
“It’s just- I’m not ready yet.”
“Ready for what?” She asked, holding me patiently.
“Being the bigger person. I will be- but- right now, I’m too mad and too tired,” I finished.
“Avery, you have every right to be upset with him. Every right. And I am too, I am. When I said that before I didn’t mean that he should be absolved of all wrongdoing. I just meant I never knew him before. I didn’t know anything about him and now I do. It’s just different. But no. No. He can never make up for his absence in such a time. We both know that.”
I rubbed my eyes with tired hands and then let them fall to her arms at my waist. “I just want to sleep.” I turned in her arms and blinked to keep the weariness at bay. “We should put real clothes on before we do dinner.”
“We’re both so tired,” she gasped, holding me. “I always say the wrong thing. I’m sorry.”
“Yo
u didn’t.” I took her hands and put them palm down on my chest. “You were helping and trying to figure it all out. You were right but there’s just a lot of history there that lends such an emotional edge to it. I can’t. It’s fine, Vi. I promise. I just get upset when I think about it too much.” I put my arms around her, crushing her to my body.
“If you need me to completely hate him I will,” she said. “I’m on your side. Only yours.”
“Aww, that’s sweet. Anyone who didn’t understand this situation would think we were cracked to hear us talk but I know you’re on my side. I don’t want you to hate anyone. He’s my dad. I don’t hate him. I love him but I am so angry with him it makes me want to scream sometimes. A minute ago just happened to be one of those times. Maybe you will have a great relationship with him and that’ll be good.” I kissed her temple and kept my lips there, trying to make her feel a little better.
Paper Dolls [Book Three] Page 3
