by Jenika Snow
He spanked my ass, his palm landing on my skin and sending a cracking sound throughout the room. I could feel the blood rushing to that spot, felt it pooling right below the surface.
“You deserve ten lashes, Anna. I truly haven’t punished you properly, but I feel you are ready to accept them.” His teeth biting one of my ass cheeks had me curling my nails into my palm. “You’ll count each one off as I deliver them until there are no more. Understand, sweetness?”
He hadn’t punished me properly? What in the hell had the other times been? Just for fun?
“Yes, Felix. I understand.”
Smack!
“One.” I gritted my teeth, the sting of his palm on my body going straight to my very cells.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
“Two, three…” Gasping in delight, tears spiked my eyelashes. “Four.” I continued to count them off until finally I called out the last one. I was weak, sagging against my binds and praying for some kind of relief. My cunt was wetter than any time before, and my clit felt so swollen I could feel it rub against my labia.
“Such a good girl.” His voice was deep and dark, his words mumbled against my flesh as he kissed and licked at my tender flesh.
I sensed him rising and then his chest pressed against my back. He placed the gag over my mouth. I breathed out heavily through my nose, feeling him tighten the soft material on the back of my head. Another long minute of waiting and I thought I would scream.
I could practically feel his gaze on what I knew was my red ass and wet slit. When I thought I would go mad with wondering, I felt the studded paddle of the flogger run up the back of each of my thighs in a smooth caress. He slapped the back of my legs with it, nothing that caused pain, but hard enough to bring the blood to the surface.
While he continued to paddle the back of my ass and thighs, he snaked his hand in front of me and started flicking my clit. His fingers were masterful and brought me closer and closer to climaxing. I needed it, wanted it, could almost taste it. But as if he knew I was about to get off, he would back off from touching me. He plucked my nipples, drawing them out, and making them engorged. His fingers pulling at the tissue, and then letting it snap back against my body, was enough to make me scream with want.
It was then, as he pulled at my nipples that I heard his increased breathing against my back and heard the paddle drop to the floor. The resounding clank of it hitting the ground seemed extremely loud, or maybe it was just because every sense in my body was heightened? A moment later, his hot, humid breath wafted over my spread pussy.
“Your pussy is so pink and wet, Anna.” He slipped his finger down my cleft and I squeezed my eyes shut from the pleasure of that small touch. “Your cunt taste so good, so sweet and smooth, like a ripe peach.” A hand landed on each cheek of my ass and he spread me wider. I hadn’t thought it possible, but I felt my skin stretch even farther. A moment of embarrassment coursed through me at knowing he could see my anus.
“I bet this little ass is nice and tight.” He bit one of my cheeks and the gag muffled the low sound I made. “I’m going to fuck this pretty ass.” He bit the other cheek and then slipped his finger over my anus. I instinctively clenched, unsure of the sensations traveling through me. No one had ever touched me back there, and knowing that Felix planned on shoving his huge cock up my ass sent trepidation and a tendril of enticement through my body.
His finger skimmed against the tight hole, pressing it in and then removing it. He stood but kept his fingers on my pussy. I felt his other hand move to the front of me, coast down my belly, and slip across my soaking pussy cleft. He gathered my moisture, bringing it around my clit and labia and massaging it in. It felt so good and all I wanted to do was try and rub myself on his wandering hand.
I wanted to feel him thrust into me, wanted to feel his throbbing cock part my folds and bring pleasure and pain together as one. His shaft, hard and hot, pressed against my cunt, thrusting against me with increasing tempo. He had yet to penetrate me, just teased me over and over again. Finally I felt the head of his shaft prod my pussy hole and I could feel myself clenching, needing to suck him into me and fill the void.
Thankfully he didn’t make me wait long. With a hard thrust, he was buried balls deep in me, causing my heart to skip a beat and my pussy to clutch him greedily. He started to pump in and out of me, slow at first but then gradually picking up speed.
“Your cunt is so tight. Anna.” Felix’s hot, humid breath smelled sweet and addicting, like the maple syrup we had for breakfast. I wanted to turn around and bring my mouth to his, kiss him passionately until neither one of us could breathe.
“I like the fact that this hot, little cunt hasn’t been used by anyone but me.” His voice dropped lower, deeper. “I like that I shoved my cock through your tight little virginal pussy and marked you. You’ll never forget me, not as long as you breathe.”
He was right, I knew this and he knew this, but the words brought me closer and closer to a pinnacle of pleasure that would stop my heart and make me wish my time with Felix would never end.
His thrusts were rough and forceful, pushing against me so that I swung on the binds that suspended my arms above my head. My breasts shook from the force, my nipples so hard and stiff, they ached. I could feel my orgasm reaching closer to the surface, prayed he wouldn’t deny me the pleasure I so desperately wanted. Although Felix kept his composure impeccably, I was starting to tell when he was on the edge. Like now, when his breath came in hot puffs against my back, or when I heard him swallow, it made me hotter to know that it was me who made his control slip.
“Tell me you want me to fuck your ass.” He tore the gag from my mouth and I sucked in air, clamping my pussy muscles down on him and nearly groaning in ecstasy.
Oh God. Could I find the words to speak? I couldn’t help the flicker of doubt in me at the thought of his monstrous cock in my ass. Despite the pleasure he brought me, and the orgasm that was nearing, I began to sweat with nervousness.
I tossed my head back and clenched my jaw when I felt his palm land against my ass then tighten around the flesh. It bordered on pain, so sweet, so good. “Felix,” I breathed out his name. “Please, please fuck my ass.”
“How sweet it sounds hearing those words from your pretty red lips.” He removed his hand from my clit and pulled his shaft out of my quivering pussy. He left me suspended like that, not touching me again, just letting me wonder what his plans were. I couldn’t see straight, couldn’t think straight. That whirling sound came again but I was too mindless to pay it much attention. I was aware, however, that my arms were lowering and the painful strain was easing. Turning to the side, I watched Felix pushing off the wall and striding toward me. I hadn’t even realized he had moved from me, but there he was, standing before me, his hard erection in his hand and aimed right at my mouth.
“I’m going to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours first, and then I’m going to fuck your tight ass.” I stared up at him, stunned, amazed, enthralled by the ominous potency he exuded.
He guided his cock over my lips, wetting them with a mixture of his pre-cum and my pussy cream. I greedily opened up, taking as much as I could in one try. The flavor that coated his cock was strong, intoxicating, and unusual. I had never tasted myself before, but the musky sweetness of my cunt juices had heat igniting inside of me like a wildfire breaking loose. He didn’t give me a chance to adjust my jaw to his size, just shoved his dick straight into my mouth until it hit the back of my throat. I gagged and he pulled back. Glancing up at him, I saw his smirk, knew the sound had turned him on. Hell, it had turned me on to feel the tip of his shaft tease the back of my throat, threatening me with the absence of air.
I won’t lie, my thoughts disturbed me on some level, but this was who I was and Felix accepted me, no matter what. We were one in the same, enjoying the pain that came with pleasure and wanting more, needing more. I hollowed out my cheeks and sucked hard. His hips started to pump forward, sending his erection deep into my mouth. Over and
over, faster and harder he worked himself into me. The little jets of cum that came from the tip of his dick infused my desire even further. My jaw ached and my pussy clenched at nothingness. I wanted more of him, as much as I could get.
His fingers tunneled into my hair and forcefully gripped chunks of it. Pulling on the strands roughly, he fucked my face, pulling my head toward his shaft while he pushed into me at the same time. My arms throbbed in pain from the uncomfortable position, but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
My belly was sore, the sawhorse digging into my flesh as he pulled me forward hard. I let my tongue run on the underside of his shaft, felt the thick vein just below the surface pulse in response. He was close and so was I. I wanted his cum shooting down my throat, wanted to feel the thickness of it coat my mouth. I wanted that so fucking bad I could feel my orgasm working up just from the thoughts.
His fingers dug into my scalp a moment before he pulled away and took a step back. My mouth felt swollen, the blood throbbing just below the thin skin of my lips as if they were calling out for him, tempting him to return. Felix's eyes appeared glazed, his face a composed mask of desire and control. He gripped the root of his cock and I saw him squeeze it ever so slightly. He then started to stroke himself while he watched me. The visual tease was almost my undoing.
“You will not come, my sweet, sweet submissive. If you come without my permission I will fuck your ass so hard you won’t be able to sit down for a week.” On any other occasion I would have feared his threat, but I knew it was all part of the game, all part of the pleasure that he would deliver. I was counting on him fucking my ass good and hard, but I didn’t want to ensure that by disobeying him, because aside from him fucking me the way he wanted to, he could very well deny me the climax that was so close.
His calloused hands smoothed over my ass cheeks. He spread me wide, the chill in the air brushing against the unused hole but doing nothing to chill the heat within me. I felt his finger press into my cunt hole, spread the moisture around the opening for a minute, and then brought the wet digit to my anus. When he ran his finger around the tight hole, spreading my cream around it, I knew I wouldn’t last long, not in the state I was in.
I bit my lip when I felt that thick digit probe my asshole, fucking me slowly before he added another one. Soon he was pumping his fingers in and out of me in quick, hard thrusts. My eyes nearly bulged out when he suddenly spread his fingers, scissoring them inside of me and stretching my virginal hole for his impressive cock.
“I’m going to brand you, Anna, mark you until every man you fuck after me won’t be able to ignore it.” On the last word he pulled his fingers out of me and shoved his dick inside my asshole. Gasping at the fierce intrusion, my eyes watered. Although he had entered me swiftly, he held his position for a suspended moment and then started to pull out. He did this a few times, pushing into me and then pulling out. I knew he was getting me ready, stretching me wide and lessening the discomfort. It hurt, but it was a good kind of pain, one that had me gnashing my teeth because I was ready to come.
After stretching my anus with his masterful thrusts, Felix started to move with more determination. He pumped into me fast and ruthless, and the momentum pushed me against the sawhorse, the leather digging into my belly.
“Felix,” I gasped, surprised that I could even speak. “Please let me come.” My inner muscles clamped down hard. I could feel the thickness of him stretching me. It was a fullness I had never felt before. It was then, when I was so close to coming that I felt hot tears slip down my cheeks. I couldn’t wipe them away, didn’t even know if I would have had the strength to if I could have.
Felix covered my back with his chest, his hot, hard muscles against my softness a startling contrast. He continued to work his cock into me, but he snaked one hand in front of me to grip my neck while he took the other one and brushed away my tears. I don’t know why it took that moment, but he made me feel cherished and loved. That simple act of wiping the tears from my cheeks would have made me cry harder if not for the fact that I was on the verge of coming. Felix made me feel this way, and there was a little voice inside of my head that warned me this could either be the best thing that had ever happened to me, or quite possibly the worst.
“Come for me, little sub.” Felix moved his hand down my chest and over my belly to rest at the top of my clit. His fingers were filled with expertise and I felt my orgasm start to peak. Just as I started to tense from it, I felt the hand around my neck tighten. That small pressure, that tiny threat of suffocation had my orgasm blasting forth with so much power I felt the edges of my vision darken.
“Scream for me, baby.” It was a dark command, one that left no room for argument. I did just that, screamed until I couldn’t hear anything else. Tears streamed down my face as the most exquisite pleasure grew inside of me. I felt Felix tense behind me and then heard him groan as he shot his load in my ass. I could feel it, the hot, powerful jets of his spunk coating my insides.
Snaking his arms around me, he pulled me flush with his body. I could feel his heart beating through my back, hear his labored pants. He pulled his shaft from me and I winced. I was oversensitive to every little touch. When he let go and moved away, I shivered, not from the cold but from the loss. I heard the sound of the pulley lowering, felt my arms touch the sawhorse. I was limp, the energy completely drained from me to the point I couldn’t even hold my head up.
Unconsciousness threatened to claim me, but I was awake enough to feel Felix undo my ankles and wrists and lift me into his arms. Once the giving mattress and silk sheets greeted me, I was lost to the darkness.
May 24th
Several days have passed since I have written in this journal. What can I say? I have been preoccupied. The last four days have been indescribable. I’m not honestly sure where the time even went, but here it is, four days later. It's as if time has no meaning any longer. I wasn’t meant to stay gone this long. Hell, people probably think I am lying dead in a ditch right now. I might have felt regret for making someone, anyone feel this way, but who out there would even really know I was missing? Aside from my teachers and peers who might see that I am not in class, the only person that has seemed to move into my heart was Felix. He has taught me many things in the short timeframe I have been with him at his cabin, things that will forever stay with me. What I feel for him seems so sudden. I have this raw burn within me whenever he is near. It takes my breath away.
The night I cried, which was the last time I wrote in here, was my breaking point. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but more so like a revelation of my life. I had always thought I didn’t belong, always thought there was something wrong with me. Felix showed me that the world and all its inhabitants are multi-faceted and that when one door closes another opens. Of course I had heard similar things throughout my life, but what I experienced with Felix in this short time period is like nothing else. I know I’ll never be able to forget this, never be able to forget him.
He held me the night I cried, held me while I slept and made me feel a sense of belonging. That had been the most peaceful sleep I have ever had, and when I woke up he was still there, running his fingers through my hair and clutching me tightly to him. Will I ever feel this way for another man? I don’t know, but a strong and aggressive voice inside of me screams no.
Felix isn’t a man to have, though, I can see that now. He may have kept me at his cabin while he opened up my eyes, but I know I can never have a future with him, not the kind I want. It’s funny really, to think about a future. I have never thought of that before, a man, a family, even love. Those had been novelty ideas of a young, virginal girl who thought there was something wrong with her. Boy have things changed, have I changed.
I can feel it inside of me and I relish it. After that night Felix held me, something changed within him. He became aloof, distant even. I thought I had done something wrong to warrant such a response from him, but all I could keep thinking about was how his fingers felt again
st my scalp and how his powerful body felt pressed against mine. I could cry now, but I don’t have the strength.
He still fucks me, but the emotion I had felt in our earlier sessions is gone. He reminded me of the dominant at the club, whipping that woman with an emotionless expression. Whatever I did, I knew it was why he acts so different. I know this because he was gone when I woke up this morning. I must have lain in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling with the note he wrote me clutched to my chest. It had been simplistic, yet there was definitely a masculine authority to it. He had told me our time was up, and that it was now time for me to go back to my life and use what he taught me.
I didn’t want that, didn’t want to go back to my life that seemed so insubstantial now. Now that he was gone I reflected on how I truly felt, how he made me feel. The feelings were frightening, but they were there, strong and persistent. I know I wouldn’t be able to get rid of them.
May 26th
So here I am, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the bedroom where my life had changed. Yesterday I finally broke down and cried. I sobbed for everything I had gained and everything I had lost. I don’t know how long I sat there, letting the memories of what we had done consume me, but I couldn't wallow in self pity any longer. I needed to try and start over, try to take what I had learned and be who I have always wanted to be.
My bags are packed and waiting by the front door, a nagging reminder of what I have to do. Even though I know this, I can’t seem to make my legs move and walk toward them. I can’t stay here, not because I have to go back to my life, but because I can’t stop thinking about Felix. This place, albeit his retreat, smells like him and reminds me of what we did. I doubt I will feel any different once I am back home, but I know staying here is not a option.
May 30th
I’ve started my old routine again. Getting up, going to school, and coming home to do the whole thing over again. Same old thing day in and day out. A lot of people came up to me on my first day back and asked where I was. It was strange given the fact I hadn’t spoken to them much prior to that. I don’t know what it is, but I still don’t feel like…me. I don’t feel like I felt with Felix.
