by Greg Trine
Margaret did, but Monkey Wrench was still after them.
“Time to run as fast as a speeding bullet,” Candace said.
And they did. They ran as fast as speeding bullets. Maybe faster. They zoomed past Narnes and Boble Book Store, past May C. Jenney Department Store, and Worst Buy Electronics.
“Let’s hide in there.” Margaret pointed. It was an Abercrombie and Glitch. “Too bad we’re being followed.”
“I know,” Candace said. “I could really use a new blouse or two. Even an alien one.”
They ran through the store, looking for a place to hide. The dressing rooms were the obvious choice, but maybe too obvious. Monkey Wrench might find them.
“In there,” Candace said, pointing to a clothes rack. It was the perfect spot for a couple of superheroes on an alien planet to hide while they figured out what to do next.
* * *
While the girls were hiding in the clothes rack at the Abercrombie and Glitch, Melvin and James landed lightly outside the mall. James had been carrying Lester Vanderpeeb, who didn’t know how to fly without a spaceship. Hugo sat on Melvin’s shoulder.
“Thanks for the ride,” Lester said to James.
They entered the mall food court. “Am I the only one dying for a pretzel?” Melvin asked.
James grabbed Melvin by the arm. “I’ll buy you one after we find the girls,” he said.
That sounded like a deal to Melvin. The problem was, where were the girls?
It was hard to think when everything smelled so good. They passed Pretzel Palace, Galactic Gooburgers, Peter Planet’s Pizza, Larry’s Lunarfish Sandwiches. Melvin suddenly felt weak. He fell to his knees gasping,
“Can’t … move … get … me … out … of … here.”
“What’s wrong with him?” Lester asked.
“Not sure. It’s almost like—”
An alien holding a lunarfish sandwich walked by. Melvin grew weaker.
“Must … be … something … in … the … lunarfish,” Melvin said.
James picked him up and carried him out of the food court. Lester Vanderpeeb followed. So did Hugo. Once outside the food court, Melvin regained his strength and the trio ran … fast as a speeding—
ZAP!
ZAP!
ZAP!
ZAP!
But not fast enough. Elbow and Shoe’s aim was perfect!
Elbow called Monkey Wrench on his alien cell phone. “We’ve got three of them … and the rat. Any luck on the other two?”
“Not yet,” Monkey Wrench said.
While Elbow was busy talking to Monkey Wrench, Melvin noticed that his pretzel phone had fallen out of his pocket. He couldn’t move his arms, so he dialed Candace with his nose. He had just enough movement left in his neck to do it.
* * *
“Shhh!” Margaret whispered to Candace. She peeked through the clothes on the circular rack and there was Monkey Wrench, a few feet away, talking on his alien cell phone.
RING! It was Candace’s phone.
Monkey Wrench shoved aside the clothes. “Aha!” But before he could pull the trigger on his stun gun, Candace kicked it out of his hand. She caught it before it hit the ground.
ZAP!
This time it was Monkey Wrench who was paralyzed.
“How do you like that?” Candace asked.
“I don’t,” the alien said from the floor. “But at least I can move my eyelids.”
“Now to find the boys,” Candace said to Margaret.
* * *
It wasn’t difficult to locate Melvin and James. They were the only non-aliens lying on the floor of the alien mall. Elbow and Shoe stood over them. They spotted Candace and Margaret coming—they were the only non-aliens running through the alien mall.
Elbow and Shoe pointed their guns, but this time Candace and Margaret were ready. Margaret picked up a trash can and held it in front of her. Candace uprooted a tree and blocked the stun guns that way.
Candace and Margaret kept running.
ZAP!
ZAP!
Both aliens missed. Candace threw the tree at Shoe. Margaret scored a direct hit on Elbow with the trash can.
Both aliens fell, dropping their guns. By this time, Melvin and James were slowly regaining their ability to move. They picked up the guns and—
ZAP!
ZAP!
“How do you like that?” Melvin asked the paralyzed aliens.
“We don’t.” But at least they could move their eyelids.
“Let’s get out of here,” Melvin said. They all started for the exit.
“Wait!” Candace said. “Not through the food court. Those lunarfish sandwiches are bad news.”
Too bad. James had promised to buy Melvin an alien pretzel.
17
THE JOURNEY HOME
Instead of going through the food court, our four superheroes, along with Lester Vanderpeeb and Hugo, found a side exit. “Up, up, and away!” Melvin shouted. Of course, everyone else was up and away on the first try. Hugo clung to Candace’s cape. James held Lester. Melvin joined them on his fifth try, after crashing, splatting, thudding, and kabonking.
“It’s a Melvin thing?” Lester said.
“Basically,” James replied.
They all flew back to the school and climbed into the spaceship. “You sure you can fly this thing?” Melvin asked.
“Or my name isn’t Vanderpeeb,” their alien friend said. “Better strap in.” Lester looked out the large window that spanned the flight deck. He saw Monkey Wrench, Elbow, and Shoe were coming up fast. “Time to scram.”
They did. They scrammed—with a capital S.
James activated the cloaking device, which made them invisible. “Cloaking device activated.”
James usually didn’t use words like “activated.” It just looks really good in a book.
Lester pushed a few buttons and pulled a few levers. They made the leap to Gamma Speed. A short time later they broke free of the planet Dork’s atmosphere and sped through space, stopping only once—at Fast Freddy’s Gas Station and Pretzel Barn.
“Holy alien-pretzels-are-great,” said Melvin with his mouth full.
Holy alien-pretzels-are-great, indeed! It almost made the narrator hungry. Almost.
“I’ll drop you off at Alpha Centauri,” Lester said. “You can fly the rest of the way on your own.”
“How are we going to breathe in outer space?” Margaret asked.
“THE SAME WAY SUPERMAN DOES!” Melvin, James, and Candace said all together.
And so at Alpha Centauri, everyone said good-bye to their good friend Lester—he was pretty nice for a guy with three eyeballs—then they set off for Earth. Hugo sat on Melvin’s shoulder for the trip. Just touching the cape was enough to allow him to breathe. You’ll have to trust the narrator on this.
Soon they were breaking through Earth’s atmosphere. That faster than a speeding bullet stuff comes in really handy sometimes. Everyone was in a hurry to get home. The sky was clear, but no one saw them coming.
Well, almost no one. At a nearby air force base, Private Gunther Whusterflap stared at his radar screen. “Sir, I am picking up four unidentified flying objects entering Earth’s atmosphere.”
“Four?” The commanding officer crossed the room and peered over Gunther’s shoulder.
“Yes, sir. Should I patch you through to the president?”
“Not on your life. That’s just Melvin Beederman and his friends returning from planet Dork.”
“How do you know that? Have you been peeking at the manuscript again?” Private Whusterflap asked.
“Oops!”
Somewhere over Texas the four superheroes went their separate ways. “Thanks for the help,” Melvin called to James and Margaret.
“No problem,” James said.
“Loved it,” Margaret added.
They all did. They all loved it. It was what they did best—saving the world, defeating bad guys … and occasionally getting the best of an alien or tw
o.
Melvin saw Candace home safely, then headed back to his tree house with his pet rat and partner-in-pretzel-eating. They were just in time for an episode of The Adventures of Thunderman.
“It’s great to be home, Hugo,” Melvin said, settling in on the couch.
“Squeak,” Hugo replied, reaching for a pretzel. This either meant “You bet your sweet bippy,” or “Dork is a great place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
Melvin agreed. Even though planet Dork had great-smelling pretzels, Earth was where he wanted to be. He could hardly wait for his next adventure to begin, which was called—
He didn’t know.
And that’s the way the narrator liked it.
About the Authors
GREG TRINE is a superhero who lives in his hideout (not lair—hideout) in California with his family. His weakness: Rocky Road ice cream.
www.melvinbeederman.com Or sign up for email updates here.
RHODE MONTIJO is Superhero Greg’s sidekick. He enjoys creating art from his top-secret headquarters in California. His weakness: red licorice.
www.rhodemontijo.com. Or sign up for email updates here.
MELVIN BEEDERMAN SUPERHERO
BOOK 1: THE CURSE OF THE BOLOGNA SANDWICH
BOOK 2: THE REVENGE OF THE MCNASTY BROTHERS
BOOK 3: THE GRATEFUL FRED
BOOK 4: TERROR IN TIGHTS
BOOK 5: THE FAKE CAPE CAPER
BOOK 6: ATTACK OF THE VALLEY GIRLS
BOOK 7: THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING UNDERPANTS
www.melvinbeederman.com
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Author’s Note
Dedication
1. Pretzel Problems
2. A Cry for Help
3. Superheroes on Patrol
4. Meanwhile …
5. Who Do We Kidnap?
6. Stinky Alien Feet
7. Follow That Smell!
8. Holy Disappearing-Spaceship!
9. Alien Rock and Roll
10. Zap!
11. Four Superheroes Are Better than Two
12. Hugo to the Rescue
13. Who’s That Alien?
14. Alien Dog Pile
15. Crash! Splat! Thud! Kabonk!
16. Candace Makes Her Move
17. The Journey Home
About the Authors
Melvin Beederman Superhero
Copyright
Henry Holt and Company, LLC
Publishers since 1866
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010
www.HenryHoltKids.com
Henry Holt® is a registered trademark of Henry Holt and Company, LLC.
Text copyright © 2010 by Greg Trine
Illustrations copyright © 2010 by Rhode Montijo
All rights reserved.
Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at [email protected].
First Edition—2010 / Hand-lettering by David Gatti
eISBN 9781250104731
First eBook edition: October 2015
