by K. C. Wells
I thought for a few minutes on how to end the note but then just signed my name. I trudged to my room, pleased to find the sheets already drawn back and the clothes I’d need for the morning were laid on a chair near the bed. Yeah, I wished I had found Jarod years ago.
I sank into the mattress, the smell of lavender surrounding me. Jarod had apparently changed the fabric softener, and the scent washed over me, lulling me to sleep, thoughts of my new boy running around in my mind, bringing with them sweet dreams.
Jarod
I WAS awake fifteen minutes before my alarm, as was usual. One look at my leather pants and harness had me in a panic. I couldn’t keep on wearing them. I pulled open the drawers in my room and found a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, both having seen better days, but miles better than my club gear. Thank God Eli and I were a similar height, although the shirt looked as though it could be a bit tight. I showered and dressed before I went down to start my morning chores. I found Eli’s note on the table and was at once warmed. I glanced at the clock. I wondered if I would have time to even make him breakfast and lunch. I set to getting things together right away.
I quickly threw together a cheese omelet and toast, debating whether I’d have time to make potatoes to go with it, then deciding I wouldn’t. I also put together a nice lunch for him—a ham and cheese sandwich, two pieces of fruit, and a yogurt—and packed it away in a sack.
After I had everything together, I put the breakfast on a plate, and took it upstairs with a glass of juice. Eli wasn’t awake yet, and it was almost the time he’d gotten up for work the day before, so I expected he would get up shortly. I put the tray on his bedside table, knelt next to the bed, my head bowed, and waited for him to acknowledge me. My heart was pounding. I had no idea of how Eli felt about having breakfast in bed: to be honest, I had little idea of how he felt about a lot of things. I was working in the dark here. The last thing I wanted to do was rock the boat, but I knew that right then I would have done anything he wanted, if it meant that I could stay.
The alarm went off, and Eli stretched out his hand to hit the snooze button. He stirred, yawned and stretched, and then gave a start when he caught sight of me. Eli propped himself up on one elbow and ran his fingers through his hair. “How long have you been there?”
“Only a minute or so,” I told him. “If you sit up, Sir, I’ll pass you your breakfast.”
Eli’s eyes widened. “Oh.” That seemed to wake him up. He scrambled into an upright position and shoved a pillow behind him. I placed the tray on his knees and then the glass of juice on the bedside cabinet. He gazed at his breakfast and the look of frank appreciation in those eyes eased my nerves.
I pleased him.
Holding back my sigh of relief, I rose to my feet. “I shall leave you to enjoy your breakfast, Sir. By the time you come downstairs, your coffee will be waiting for you.”
Eli blinked. “Thank you. Maybe while I have some coffee, we might have a quick chat before I leave?”
And just like that, my heartbeat raced. “Of course, Sir.” I left the room, walking steadily, determined that he shouldn’t see the panic that was welling up inside me.
What did I do wrong? He’s not happy with me. I’ve fucked it up.
I entered the kitchen and went about the task of setting up the coffee machine, the whole time racking my brain as to what I might have done that would warrant a discussion. By the time I heard Eli’s feet on the stairs, I was none the wiser. I quickly poured out his coffee and knelt beside his chair.
The kitchen door opened. “Jarod, please, could you sit with me for a moment?”
I nodded and got up to take the chair facing him. Eli sat down, wearing jeans and a shirt, a heavy denim jacket folded over the back of the chair. He wrapped his hands around the mug and inhaled the aroma, a hum of satisfaction escaping his lips. Then he sat back, studying me.
I was nervous enough, but this careful scrutiny was making matters worse. I couldn’t keep silent any longer. “Sir, if I could ask—”
“Please don’t feel you have to stay here if you don’t want to,” Eli said suddenly.
Cold spread through me. “Sir?” What have I done?
“Not that I want you to go, because I don’t,” Eli added hastily, “but you do have a choice in this.”
I breathed easier. “Sir, I want to stay.” If there was anything I could have done in that moment to convince him of how earnest my desire was, I would have done it.
He regarded me in silence for a moment and then nodded, before drinking his coffee.
I couldn’t leave it at that. “Have I pleased you?” I awaited his reply, hardly daring to breathe.
Eli’s face lit up in a smile. “Very much so. I just wanted to make sure that you really did want to be here.” His eyes scanned my face.
I tried to make my smile as reassuring and as positive as I could. “Yes, Sir, I do.”
My answer seemed to satisfy him. He drained his mug and rose from his chair. “Well, I’d better run. I have a lot to do today. I’ll see you sometime this evening. It will be late, however.”
I smiled once more. “Okay.” I knew then that I’d have something waiting for him to eat. I handed him the bag with his lunch. “Here you are.”
Eli stared at it, and I swear his smile widened. “Thank you, Jarod.” He picked up his jacket and his keys, and walked out of the kitchen and down the hall. I listened to the sound of his car engine swell into life, and he was gone.
Time to put the house in order.
Eli
I DROVE along the long, curving driveway that ran through Heaton Park and pulled into a parking spot. I’d already changed into my running gear before I left the depot where I stored the lorry. Ben’s Focus was nowhere in sight, so I figured I was early. I turned off the radio and leaned back against the headrest, eyes closed.
What a difference a week makes, eh?
One week of waking up to breakfast, laundry done, the house clean and tidy, shopping taken care of—I was in domestic heaven. Jarod was everything I’d always wanted. He was quiet, well-mannered, respectful, trained…. I couldn’t have asked for a better submissive. And to think all those Doms at the club had passed by on the other side, never guessing what they were missing.
It would be good to show them all. It was a tempting thought.
I gave a start when Ben tapped on the window. He gazed in at me, grinning.
“God, you made me jump,” I said when I opened the car door.
That grin was positively gleeful. “You were lost in your own little world, mate. What on earth were you thinking about?”
“Actually? I was sitting here reflecting on how good life is right now.” While we warmed up, I told him all about Jarod and my new domestic bliss. It was only when it hit me that he’d gone quiet that I glanced across at Ben. He was staring at me, eyes wide, a look of incredulity all over his face. “What?” I demanded. “What’s wrong with you?”
Ben shook his head, the line of his mouth grim. “I thought I told you to go clean up your mess. Did you even listen to me?”
“Excuse me?” I stiffened. “What do you—”
“I never picked you for a selfish bastard, do you know that? Are you meeting Jarod’s needs?” Ben folded his arms across his chest.
“Yes,” I replied hotly. “He needs to serve, and I’m allowing him to do that.”
I swear I heard him give out a low growl. “What is it you hated about your club, huh? People playing at subs. Well, what is it you’re doing if not playing at being a Dom?”
I bristled. “Now look here, I—”
“You don’t have a clue what his needs are, do you? Oh, apart from wanting to serve, of course.” The sarcastic edge to his voice didn’t go unnoticed. “And what about Jarod? Does he have any idea what you expect of him, beyond having him clean for you, cook, do your laundry, and any other little domestic chores you can find for him?” Ben was shaking. “You haven’t even asked him about his needs, have you?” He un
folded his arms and clenched his fists at his sides. “Get your head out of your arse, Eli. You’re better than this. Jarod is a person, a living, breathing person who has needs and desires, and you’ve never even asked what they were. You complained about pretend subs, and yet that’s exactly how you’re treating Jarod.”
He spat it with such venom that I was taken aback. Normally Ben was about as gentle a man as you’d find, but if you got his dander up, he was fierce. And right then, I had done just that. I allowed his words to push past my anger. Jarod got up early to make me breakfast, despite not knowing what I liked. He cleaned the house without being asked. He went shopping and sat outside until I got home because he had no way to contact me. It had only been a week, and already he was taking far better care of me than I had of him.
“You’re right,” I replied, my voice strong. “And I need to fix this.”
Ben sighed. “Look, do you remember how I nearly cocked things up with Scott? I didn’t listen to anyone’s advice. I thought I knew best. Any of this sound familiar? And I get that you’ve never had a full-time sub, you’ve only ever played with the subs in those clubs you go to—and you already know my feelings about them. I’m glad you’re aware that you need to fix things. Now all you have to do is figure out how.”
“Can we postpone the run? I have someone at home who I hope needs me.”
Ben took a deep breath. “That’s fine. I want to go home and spend some time with my boy anyway.” He speared me an intense gaze. “And you need to go home and be a Dom.” Without another word, he strode off in the direction of his car.
I climbed back behind the steering wheel, my head in a whirl, and switched on the engine. I drove out of the grounds on autopilot, my mind elsewhere. As I headed home, the conversation with Ben played over and over in my head, only now I saw things from his point of view. What sent my heart plummeting was the realization that he was right. How could I have been so blind? So selfish?
I wished we’d gone for that run. I needed to work off my anger and frustration, not with Ben, but with myself. When Ben had sent Scott back home with his parents, I’d joined the group of people who’d torn into Ben about his stupidity, and yet here I was, doing the same thing.
I pulled over into a lay-by and switched off the engine. I tried taking several deep breaths to inject some calm, but I ended up banging my hands on the steering wheel. I had screwed up, pure and simple. There had been something I’d wanted, and when it had been presented to me in the form of a well-trained submissive, I’d lunged at it and grabbed it with both hands. And that wasn’t like me at all.
At clubs, even when I only played with the submissives, their comfort had been my primary concern. At my old club, aftercare was more like an afterthought. The Doms would allow the club subs to take care of their friends. It struck me as irresponsible, and I always took the time to ensure that all was well when my sub came back to earth.
What was it about Jarod that had me tossing out what training I’d received? God, I’d wanted someone so badly, that much was true, but it wasn’t just someone who would care for me. I needed there to be a partnership with my submissive. What I was doing with Jarod wasn’t any kind of power exchange at all. I’d never given him the opportunity to tell me what he wanted, not once. Ben was correct, I’d never even bothered to ask.
My heart beating once more at its normal rate, I sat quietly and came to a decision. I would fix this, starting tonight. Jarod had to know he was important to me, not as a housekeeper, but as a friend, a partner, and in time, maybe more. I smiled as I reflected on the irony of the situation. When Jarod had met Phillip, he’d been the younger man who’d needed the guidance of an older, more experienced Dom. Now Jarod was the one who had a few more years on me, but he still needed me to guide him, to push his limits, and to see what kind of a life he wanted.
I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Ben, thanking him for the talk. I bore him no animosity. He’d been kind—and brave—enough to pull off the blinders and allow me to see what I was doing, how I was hurting Jarod. Because I was hurting him. Well, that stopped as of now. My head was out of my arse, and there would be communication between Jarod and me. He’d suffered enough through my foolishness, and it was time he reaped the rewards of my experience.
If he ever forgave me.
When I walked through the front door and sniffed the air, I knew he’d prepared something for me to eat. The thought gave me a pang, but I pushed down hard on the feeling. I was going to put this right.
Jarod was in the kitchen, already laying out cutlery on the table.
“Jarod, whatever you’re about to dish up, would it spoil if we left it where it was for a moment longer?”
He straightened, his eyes wide. “No, Sir.” The words were almost a whisper.
“Then come into the lounge, please. I need to talk to you.” There had already been too much of a delay. If I was to undo the damage I’d already done, there was no time like the present. I went into the room and sat on the couch. Jarod followed me, hesitating when he reached the couch, his gaze darting between me and the floor. “Beside me is fine.” I patted the cushion, and he moved tentatively onto the couch.
He sat, perched on the edge of the seat cushions, his gaze lowered.
I launched into the speech I’d been rehearsing in my head, all the way home.
“Look, I made a mistake,” I began, “a big one, and I need to make amends. What I did that night at the club when I asked you to come home with me, I’d never done before. I’ve never invited someone into my home from the club. Even if I had, it wouldn’t have been after knowing them less than an hour.” I let out a sigh. “Do I regret bringing you home? I know I should. It would be something else, if this was simply going to be a one-off, but that isn’t what I wanted. And I don’t think it’s what you needed, or am I mistaken?”
Jarod
THIS WHOLE conversation had my head spinning. Eli wasn’t sending me away. Eli was telling me he’d made a mistake, and now he was doing whatever he could to make it right. I hadn’t been upset about our arrangement, but the idea that it could possibly be more? Oh, if only it were true.
“I enjoy serving,” I blurted out, my pulse racing. “And… if you wanted someone else in your house, I would take care of you both.” Not that I liked the idea, not for a second, but if it made Eli feel easier about letting me stay, then I’d do it. But something inside me pushed me to lay my feelings bare. “If I’m being honest, though? I want someone who wants me, in all ways. Does that make sense?”
Eli nodded, then leaned forward and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. It was quick and chaste, but it was also the first time in years I’d had the pleasure. It was over too quickly, and I had to stop myself from chasing his lips.
“Okay, then. I think it’s high time we did this thing right.” He smiled at me. “How about we start over? We could go to the club and talk. That way, we can get started like we should have that night. We can take a booth and chat for a while. Would you like that?”
My chest tingled. He was willing to take me out in public. To show others that I might be older, but I was a good submissive. And I would do everything in my power to show him that he’d made the right choice in giving me a chance.
“I’d like that very much, Sir.”
Eli beamed. “Then seeing as tomorrow is Friday, we’ll go then.”
Chapter Six
Jarod
THE CLUB was packed. Dozens of young subs lined up along the wall, obviously hoping to catch the gaze of the Doms who entered the club. There were so many people on the dance floor, it may well have been an orgy in the making with the sweat-glistened bodies mashed together.
I did my best to ignore the stares as Eli and I entered, and just like that I felt his hand on my back, as if to reassure me of his presence.
“Breathe.” The quiet instruction was meant for my ears only. I did as I was told, inhaling deeply and expelling my nerves in a silent push of air. “Good. Just
like that.” His praise warmed me, and my stomach settled. I followed him to the bar where he ordered two glasses of club soda and then sat at a table. I stood, uncertain of what he would like me to do. His smile calmed my nerves a bit, and he gestured to the chair beside him.
“I wanted to thank you,” he began.
“Thank me? For what?”
He laced his fingers with mine, and I drew strength from his touch. “During this week you’ve given me so much of yourself, even if I didn’t deserve it.”
I started to speak, but he held up his other hand.
“Let me finish, please. I won’t defend my actions, because I know I was unfair to you and to myself. When we were here last, I saw you there, kneeling on the floor, and everything I’d ever wanted in my life was there. I grabbed it with both hands and didn’t want to let go. The next morning, finding you in my kitchen, having breakfast ready? That was my idea of heaven, because my needs were being met. I was lost in the moment, a perfect bubble that I didn’t want to pop.
“Then a friend of mine told me—twice—that I was being a right bastard to you, and not giving you anything in return. For that, I am truly sorry, and I thank you for giving me the opportunity to make things right between us.”
A sigh of relief slid from me. I’d been walking on eggshells for fear that Eli would realize he’d made a mistake and put me out, but that wasn’t the case at all. I reached into my pocket and felt the strip of leather he’d wrapped around my throat the first night. I wondered if he had any idea how many times a day I touched it, wishing I had earned the right to wear it. I slid it from my pocket and placed it on the table. Eli gave me a curious glance.
