by Kate Rudolph
“Give her a little space,” Krayter suggested. “But not too much. Not enough to run again. And find that NaMoren charm that I’m sure is buried somewhere in there. Deep, deep inside of you.”
Kayleb barked out a surprised laugh. “Bastard,” he said, smiling.
“Love you too, bro.” His tone became serious. “Do you need anything from me—what?” the last wasn’t directed at him and voices whispered on the other end of the line. “From us, I mean. Penny says that her mom can help and that woman is scary.”
That kind of help wasn’t something that Kayleb would dismiss. Penny’s mother, Jacinta Morales, ran a mercenary crew out of upstate New York and she wasn’t a woman to be trifled with. If the authorities in the city couldn’t help, she had the resources to fight off a few pirates who weren’t on their own home turf.
“I’ll let you know.”
Krayter sighed. “I know that you’re going to do your own thing. But don’t disappear on me,” the again went unspoken, “and bring your girl around. I want to meet her.”
“We’ll see about that. I’ll get in touch.”
They disconnected and Kayleb took a seat in a small lounge by a water fountain fixture, the burbling spring the only company for his thoughts. He tried not to imagine what horrors his mate had endured at the hands of pirates in deep space. Unfortunately, his mind unhelpfully reminded him that if only he’d remembered her than she would not have had to endure the hardship. She would have been safe with him.
He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to force memories to the surface. He could almost picture the look of the med bay, the shadowy form who’d treated him for his wounds almost coalescing into a real person. A sense of safety and belonging imbued him as he conjured the thoughts, telling him that he was on the right path.
But she still wasn’t there.
Now that he knew what he was missing, Kayleb thought he should be able to find it. There was a Tessa shaped hole in his mind that he needed to fill, but he had no tools to use to dig.
Why hadn’t he told Krayter about her? They’d all met on the ship and there was no reason to keep his denya a secret, not unless she’d asked him to remain silent. And given everything that Tessa had said so far, he didn’t think that she’d asked that of him.
Krayter couldn’t take it.
The thought swam up out of nowhere and Kayleb straightened in his chair. What? Krayter was the strongest man he knew, what couldn’t he take? And then Kayleb remembered.
SIX MONTHS AGO
“Where were you?” Krayter asked the moment Kayleb stepped into their quarters, still glowing from the time he’d just spent in paradise.
The anti-grav wasn’t strong enough to keep his spirits grounded and he wanted to sing. He felt drunk, light, and happier than he’d ever been before. This harebrained scheme wasn’t so harebrained after all and he could prove it. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.
But his brother’s arms were crossed and his toe tapped against the floor in impatience. “You told me that you’d be back three hours ago.” Panic edged his voice but he hadn’t started yelling, not yet. That was bad. Krayter didn’t normally get mad.
“Where could I go?” Kayleb asked. “We’re on a ship, it’s not like I can get lost.” The glow was fading and something darker was seeping in, something that wanted to keep his discovery to himself until she was fully his. Something that didn’t trust another Detyen not to try and take her away.
“I already almost lost you once!” Krayter clamped a hand to his mouth and looked away.
The darkness evaporated at once. Kayleb stepped forward and clamped a hand on his brother’s arm. “You’ll never lose me, I promise. My wound is healed. I simply wished for some time for myself.” It wasn’t a complete lie and Kayleb had plenty of experience of bending the truth with his family, especially when it came to his own well-being.
Looking at Krayter, he wasn’t sure that his brother would be happy for him if he said that he’d found his mate. Things were bound to change between them once she came to light and though nothing could ever cause him to forsake her, to push her away, a small part of Kayleb mourned the loss of the life he and his brother had lived before.
He’d tell him soon, Kayleb decided, just not yet. They had plenty of time before the ship reached Honora Station where he and Krayter would disembark to meet their cousin Ruwen. So Kayleb would keep just a little more time to himself, time to get to know his denya, and time to steal with his brother before the world changed for good.
What could go wrong?
CHAPTER EIGHT
TESSA DECIDED THAT ten AM would be the best time to call. Tamara was a creature of habit, or she had been for the entire time that Tessa had known her before she sought her fortunes off Earth. And Tamara’s habits meant that she wasn’t in her right mind before mid-morning. The woman ran on coffee and wasn’t quite human until the third cup.
Kayleb didn’t question the decision. He’d come in sometime while she slept and curled up on the yoga mat silently, as if he didn’t wish to disturb her. Despite his efforts, she’d felt the moment he entered the room. He sucked the air out and replaced it with his own essence so that she was breathing in his scent, her body loosening as it remembered everything they’d done together.
Which hadn’t actually been that much. Sure, they’d had sex a few times and made out even more, but she’d done way more with guys she felt way less about, and it had never destroyed her to let them go.
For the millionth time, she wondered how much of a mistake it was to accept his help. The turmoil in her heart told her that she should have run and never looked back, but the prospect of actually getting away from the fucking pirates who’d been hounding her gave her a slightly different perspective.
No matter what, she had to remain on her guard. Just because she’d let Kayleb help didn’t mean that he was allowed back in her life like he’d never left. He’d have to do a lot more if he wanted her to take him back and accept him as her mate.
Damn it.
Tessa’s head fell into her hands and she cast a subtle glance at the huge blue alien lying on the floor not far from her feet. Her mind might have been putting up a fight to his presence, but her subconscious had other ideas if she was already thinking that there was anything he could do to get back into her good graces.
There wasn’t, she wouldn’t allow it. They’d get rid of the stupid tech and go their separate ways, just as she’d planned a few hours ago. One comfortable nap in a warm, safe room didn’t change anything between them, it didn’t make their problems go away.
“Is everything alright?” Kayleb asked, dangerously perceptive. He lay on the yoga area, one hand acting as a pillow and pulling up his shirt so she caught a strip of tight blue flesh where his shirt normally met his pants. He was all hard muscle and heat, she remembered, and her hands ached to touch.
Tessa pulled her knees in close and wrapped her arms around them, as if hugging herself would ever be a tenth as satisfying as touching the man in front of her. As she looked at him, she realized she wasn’t even that angry anymore, which set off a spark of reflexive anger that he’d dared to finagle his way so close.
“It’s fine,” she said, her voice dangerously controlled so she wouldn’t let out any of the confusing shit she was feeling. “I’m just trying to decide what I’ll do once I’m free.”
He nodded and looked at her for an intense moment before tilting his head away. She could tell he wanted to say something from the way he held his body taut, but he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t offer her promises or tomorrows, not even a simple tonight.
Smart man.
Idiot woman.
She clamped her hand down on the opposite wrist to keep from reaching out. He was doing this on purpose, had to be. There had to be some weird alien pheromones that made her want him even when she knew exactly how bad it would be if he walked away again.
When. She needed to get it in her head that she couldn’t trust this guy
. That had been easy a day ago. Now? Not so much.
“Do you remember anything?” she found herself asking by accident. The words were out of her mouth before she realized she was thinking them.
His eyes snapped back up to her, widening slightly. They didn’t flare to red and the pang in her chest felt something like disappointment. But that was stupid. The red flare only came in times of heightened emotion or passion, not because of unwise questions from ex-girlfriends. Mates. Whatever.
“I’m trying to,” Kayleb said, staring at her like his eyes could tell her something his mouth couldn’t. “I think I didn’t tell Krayter about you to protect his feelings. That’s why he didn’t know. Why none of us understood...” He trailed off and shook his head before rubbing a hand against his face. “Never mind.”
“Didn’t understand what?” Now that her curiosity was piqued she wasn’t going to stop asking.
Kayleb leveled his gaze at her, scarily serious. She could tell thoughts were flying through his mind as he calculated whether or not she’d push him away again. Before she could give him any reassurance, he spoke. “Detyens die when they turn thirty, if they don’t have a denya, a mate. My birthday was three days ago.”
“Your thirtieth birthday?” Ages hadn’t come up while they were on the Kella; they were both adults, the exact numbers weren’t an issue. Besides, that shit got complicated when working with the numbering systems of different planets.
Kayleb nodded.
“You thought you were going to die.” It wasn’t a question. If he didn’t remember her and his brother didn’t know that she existed, then he’d gone into the eve of his birthday not expecting to wake up. “Are...” She had to lick her lips, her mouth suddenly dry. “Are you dealing with it?”
“Some Detyens choose to end themselves before the choice is taken away,” he said. All of the emotion had leeched out of him and Tessa found herself leaning closer, her feet falling off the couch until her toes could practically touch him. Kayleb didn’t seem to notice. “It’s one final gasp for control, I take it. Krayter and I never talked about it. He just found his denya and they were convinced...” He stopped again and breathed deep. “I’m glad that I decided to see the night through.” All of a sudden their eyes connected and he smiled. It was like the sun breaking through the clouds and Tessa’s heart flipped.
“I am too.” She couldn’t stop herself from returning his smile and after a minute she stopped trying. They sat locked like that for several moments until Kayleb’s hand reached out and accidentally bumped her toes, snapping her out of it. Tessa busied herself by checking the clock. “I should call Tamara,” she said. It was only a few minutes to ten.
Kayleb leaned back against the wall and watched her gather her things. Tessa looked at the bag with the pirate tech in it. She couldn’t make the call from the privacy suite, but if she took the bag with her, the aliens could track it.
“Will you watch it?” she asked, heart hammering. He had no reason to take it, no reason to harm it. But Tessa had decided from the moment she stepped off her transport that she wouldn’t trust anyone but herself with the tech until she got it to the proper authorities. Not even for a minute.
Kayleb seemed to get that this was a big deal for her. He nodded solemnly. “It won’t leave my sight. There’s a communication station just east of the elevators one floor down from here. You should be able to make the call uninterrupted from there.”
She thanked him and fled, grateful for the excuse for a few minutes alone.
THE COMMUNICATION STATION was just where Kayleb promised, but as soon as Tessa saw it she kept walking down the hall. Unlike the relaxation suite floor, this one was covered in a rubberized tile that was hard under her feet. The scent of sweat in the air warred with weapons-grade disinfectant and cleaning supplies, but no matter how much bleach they used, the cleaning people couldn’t disguise the fact that she was in a gym. A fancy gym, but a gym nonetheless.
At the end of the hall, Tessa saw a first suite of workout equipment. A single woman worked at an anti-grav station, using momentum and muscle to spin around and dance in the air. When she turned at the end of the hall and found the door to the stairwell, Tessa rested her hand on it, thoughts racing. She had to get away from Kayleb. He wasn’t holding her hostage, but the more time she spent with him, the more she didn’t want to leave. He wouldn’t expect her to take off, not when he had her bag.
And she couldn’t. Even if she wanted to. Which, she feared to admit, she didn’t. Not yet. Not until this was done.
Tessa gathered her courage up and went back to the communications station. A comm device was embedded in the wall, both video and audio calls enabled on the touch screen. She had to pull up a directory to find the number for her sister’s office, but as soon as she gave her name to the receptionist, she was patched through without question. Tessa kept the call audio only. Even with the sleep she’d caught, she had to look like hell.
“Tessa?” Tamara asked, out of breath like she’d run to receive the call. “You’re on the planet?”
“How did you know?” She hadn’t sent word; the last call she’d placed to her sister had been from a space station light years away.
“You’re calling from a terrestrial number, one in the city.” Of course she’d realize that. But Tamara didn’t press, didn’t question why Tessa hadn’t called her sooner. “What’s up? Do you have time to meet before you leave?”
Guilt assailed Tessa at the hope in her older sister’s voice. The last time they’d seen each other, it hadn’t ended well and since then she’d barely ever called. But Tam was still the only member of her family that Tessa called at all. “I would like to meet up,” she said, and was surprised to find that she meant it. “But first, I need your help. I’m in trouble.”
It took a few minutes to give her a rundown of what had happened and Tam interrupted several times with strings of curses that sent Tessa’s eyebrows skyrocketing. When Tessa had been a kid, Tam was careful not to curse. It looked like those days were over.
“This tech you have is relaying a signal?” Tam asked to confirm.
“I think so. The assholes kept finding me. I wouldn’t have got out at all if it weren’t for a...” How to describe Kayleb? “A friend,” she went with, after a tellingly long pause.
“Care to elaborate?” Tam didn’t become one of the foremost prosecutors in the city without a strong eye for detail.
“I do not.” Tessa barreled through before Tam could latch on. “Anyway, we’re holed up in a place with built in signal blockers. I’m using a comm on another floor. Do you have a way to transport this thing without relaying the location? I have a jammer, but it’s still not fully charged.”
“Please don’t confess to possession of illegal devices over the phone with me,” Tam begged and Tessa felt her cheeks heat. “I’ll need to conference with NYPD. Are you safe where you are?”
“Yes.” As safe as she’d been in the last few days, at least.
“Okay. Good. Hold your position. Give me a call back in two hours and I should have something set up.” Tam sounded like she wanted to say more, but after getting Tessa’s agreement to call back, she disengaged.
Tessa checked the clock on the panel and saw that they’d been talking for nearly fifteen minutes. When she was little, she and Tam could talk about nothing in particular for hours on end. At some point that became too hard and they stopped talking at all. And then Tam had left home and Tessa was left alone. At least her sister still remembered who she was. Maybe that wasn’t fair to either Kayleb or Tam. Tessa pushed the thought aside and shook her head. Talking with her sister was enough to bring bad memories to the surface and prick her emotions with a thousand tiny needles. It felt like a limb falling asleep, but the pain and discomfort was all in her mind. Tessa flexed her fingers as if improving circulation would make it go away.
It didn’t.
She didn’t run into anybody on her way back to the room but she had to take a deep breath
before opening the door. Kayleb was in there, waiting for her, and again she wanted to run. She pushed through the emotion and opened the door, closing it silently behind her. Kayleb didn’t look up as she entered and his eyes were closed, lids drawn down over those intense dark eyes of his.
Tessa found herself frozen beside the door, one hand pressed against the hard surface. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from the man, the alien, sitting calmly on the floor. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm as if he were sleeping, but he sat straight up, hands resting lightly on his knees while meditating.
This was the side of Kayleb that he hid away from everyone. To others, he was angry and quick to lash out. But he kept his violence caged, cutting with words rather than the deadly claws hiding under his knuckles. Anyone who met that caustic man could not imagine the one sitting before her right now, his breathing even and face serene.
She sank down to the floor next to him, sitting cross-legged, her head turned to the side to study him. A ragged scar cut down his temple, the skin a nasty white reminder of the damage done to him by the pirates aboard the Kella.
Her heartbeat kicked up as she remembered that terrible day. When he was struck by blaster fire Tessa had feared that he’d been ripped from her, leaving her heart a tattered wreck. He survived, but she’d been right.
For the last six months she’d survived on anger to suppress her grief and fear. But at some point over the course of the morning, that anger had disappeared. Her fingers ached to reach out and caress the naked length of Kayleb’s arm. She needed to feel his warm skin, needed to know that he was alive with her.
How had he survived the last months, knowing he was doomed? How did any of them do it? Tessa knew she would die one day, that was how it worked. But to know the exact date? To know there was something that could stop it, or at least delay it for a long time? What would she do to find that? How thankful would she be?
